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The gunshot was deafening—sharp and final. It echoed off the cluttered walls of his living room, disturbing the stacks of unfiled papers and sending dust fluttering down from the shelves like mournful ash. 007n7’s body jerked back, the recoil sending him sprawling. His skull cracked against the corner of c00lkid’s empty crib, a splintering sound muffled by the spreading warmth of blood that pooled under him. He didn’t feel it. Not really. It doesn't matter.
The Telamon doll slipped from his hand, its glassy eyes staring back at him from the wooden floor, unblinking and still. He carved it for him when c00lkid saw Telamon for the first time. He managed to grasp it again, fingers sticky with red, and pulled it close to his chest. A shuddered breath left his lips, and he fought the darkness threatening to steal his vision. Not yet. Not yet. He had things to remember.
Outside, the blinds were crooked and uneven, and the streetlamps cold light spilled in harshly, casting shadows over stacks of missing posters plastered with c00lkid’s smiling face. They leaned against the walls like the tired bones of a man long since dead, their edges frayed from being passed out, torn down, and hung up again.
Tapes littered the living room, tangled in piles that had long since toppled over, labels smeared with ink that had bled out from frantic, shaking hands. CCTV footage—most of it corrupted or too grainy to make sense of—sprawled across the floor, half-watched and half-forgotten. The last one he’d seen had flickered in and out with static, showing nothing but a blur of movement in the corners, ghostlike and ungraspable. c00lkid was never seen again after that unfateful day in March.
There was a stack of c00lkid’s toys by the doorway. Wooden blocks chewed at the edges from teething, a toy train missing its wheels, a marionette with its strings tangled beyond repair. 007n7 had cried over them more times than he could remember, hunched over with shaking shoulders and hands that could not stop trembling. He had held them in his lap and wondered if they remembered c00lkid’s touch. He hoped they did.
1x1x1x1’s sparkly green domino crown glinted dully from the top of the television, a speck of dust clinging to its edge. He had dropped it off just yesterday, his expression as impenetrable as ever, saying comforting nothings before disappearing into the static like he always did. To be fair, 007n7 hadn’t asked him to stay. He didn’t have the strength anymore.
His hands clenched around the Telamon doll. Blood soaked through the fabric, staining its clothes, but it didn’t matter. He pressed it closer, head tilting back against the crib’s bars, and he closed his eyes. Memories were easier this way. Like flipping through the pages of a photo album worn soft from use. He untied his tie to be able to breathe freely.
“Hey, kiddo,” he whispered, his voice barely audible over the drip of blood pooling beneath him. Or maybe the deafening silence around him. “Remember that time at the playground? Your first time on the swings? You were terrified.”
The memory unfolded behind his closed eyelids, vivid and bright.
The sun had been out that day, golden and warm, casting long shadows on the asphalt. c00lkid had clutched at the chains with his tiny hands, fingers pale and trembling, his eyes wide with that familiar fear of the unknown.
“Come on, it’s just a swing,” 007n7 had coaxed, squatting beside him, his hands gentle on c00lkid’s shoulders. He’d looked up with those big, questioning eyes, his mouth a thin line of determination and trepidation. “I’m right here. I won’t let you fall.”
And c00lkid had believed him. Like he always did. He’d held on tighter, white-knuckled and brave, and 007n7 had pushed him gently, just enough to let him feel the wind on his cheeks.
“You laughed so hard,” he murmured, the Telamon doll warm against his chest. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh like that again.”
The blood was spreading now, creeping out from beneath him in slow, deliberate lines, curling around stacks of posters and discarded toys. It touched the base of the domino crown, the silver metal catching flecks of crimson.
He sucked in another breath, feeling it rattle in his chest. His hands were shaking, but he kept the doll close, pressing it to his heart. He didn’t want to forget. Not yet.
“The science fair,” he breathed, his eyes fluttering shut. “God, you were so nervous.”
He remembered the gymnasium, the rows of makeshift tables with their cardboard displays, the smell of glue and marker ink thick in the air. c00lkid had fumbled with his project, wires crisscrossing messily across the surface, lights blinking sporadically. He’d looked up at 007n7, biting his lip, eyes wide with that same question he always had.
“Will it work?”
And 007n7 had smiled, reaching out to ruffle his hair. “Of course it will. You built it.”
c00lkid had grinned, teeth crooked and endearing, and flipped the switch. The lights blinked in sequence, humming softly, and he had laughed again, that bright, unrestrained sound that always made 007n7’s heart ache with something he could never quite name.
“That was a good day,” he whispered, the words heavy on his tongue. “One of the best.”
His fingers were numb now, the Telamon doll slipping in his grip. He adjusted it, cradling it like he used to cradle c00lkid, back when he was small enough to fit perfectly in his arms.
He fought off the drowsiness and blinked harshly.
He remembered rocking him to sleep, the weight of him heavy and warm, his tiny breaths whispering against his collarbone.
“Come b-back,” he choked out, the words cracking. “P-Please. I’m… I’m still l-looking for you.”
The room seemed to pulse around him, the light flickering, shadows creeping in from the corners. His vision blurred, the edges darkening, but he fought against it, teeth grinding together. He needed more. More time. More memories.
He saw c00lkid’s first steps—the hesitant wobble of his legs before he pitched forward into 007n7’s arms, giggling and bright-eyed. He remembered the trips to the market, the way c00lkid would tug at his sleeve, pointing excitedly at the toy stalls with the kind of unrestrained joy only children could know.
“You loved that stupid toy gun,” 007n7 mumbled, a flicker of a smile on his cracked lips. “That little orange one with the fake scope. You wouldn’t let me leave without it.”
More blood pooled beneath him, sticky and warm, spreading in waves. He felt it seep into his clothes, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Not anymore.
He could still see him. Running across the grass with that gun held high, yelling for him to catch up, eyes alight with that unbridled energy. He’d chased him, laughing until his sides hurt, catching him up in his arms and spinning him around, the world blurring around them.
“I m-miss you,” he whispered, eyes squeezing shut. “Please… just c-come back.”
The Telamon doll was slipping from his hands. His fingers couldn’t hold on. He sucked in one last breath, the sound ragged and wet, and forced his eyes to stay open just a little longer. One more memory. Just one more.
c00lkid, grinning up at him, his hands sticky with ice cream, eyes bright and alive.
007n7 smiled through the blood pooling at the corners of his mouth. “I’ll s-see you soon, kiddo.”
And he closed his eyes.