Chapter Text
Sue had returned back to home, back to Amherst, back to Emily. But with her return came a conversation that needed to be had between the three people who made up the love angle they were in, Sue Gilbert, Emily Dickinson, and her brother- Austin Dickinson.
This leads the three of them into a meeting in a less used room in the house, where they sit in their chairs looking at each other. Everyone looked uncomfortable at each other. The tension is thick with awkwardness. Emily and Austin go to speak at the same time before closing their mouths again looking away from each other, Emily playing with the wooden arm of the chair.
Sue lets out a sigh, seeing as she is the one that somewhat caused this situation or is in some form of relationship with both of them. She clears her throat, situating herself better to seem more confident as she gains both of the Dickinson’s attention, eyes trained on her.
She sighs one last time before speaking. “I…I don’t know how to start this conversation but…we’re gonna have to talk about everything that happened at the party eventually.”Sue says, causing the two Dickinsons to nod but not start speaking.
Emily, who’s typically good at words- great them with how they always spout into her head. Not just because she’s a writer or poems but because it comes to her as easily as breathing has nothing in her brain that could make the situation better, no words come to her so she won’t hurt her brother's feelings. Silence is the only thing around her, in her head and in the room. Austin on the other hand, has a ton of words he wants to say but he doesn’t know how to formulate them. He feels betrayed, lied to, used.
Austin shifts before sighing knowing they’re gonna have to start the conversation cause it’ll be over quicker so he says the only thing he can in retaliation. “I announced we were getting married, you left to find Emily, I was pulled to the side by Jane who told me you both were in love with each other causing me to come find you two. And what did I find, a betrayal- my fiance kissing my sister.”Austin began glaring pointedly at the two women in the room, who have the right to look guilty at the events he recounted.
Air of guilt wafts throughout the room from his confession of everything but Austin after the recounting just looks a bit tired. Done with the whole situation of Sue running, Emily guilty trying to build their relationship, everyone in the room acting as if everything was fine until they finally agreed to this meeting. All of it has done nothing but weigh the man down. “All I wanna know then is, was Jane right?”Austin asks, looking between the two, wishing in his heart it's a no.
Emily knows he loves Sue, he confided in her when she was sick and in the same Emily did as well, telling how her and Sue began to have relations. But she never told him if she loved Sue, and he doesn’t know if Sue loves her.
“Austin…”Emily begins unsure how to not hurt her brother.
The sigh of his name and the look of guilt on Emily’s face tells him all he needs to know about how his sister feels about the Gilbert woman to her left. It feels like a cut on his heart but he doesn’t blame his sister too much, knowing how easy it is to fall in love with Sue and the girl didn’t even know they were together until he told her he was marrying the woman. Though the cut to his heart mainly comes from the fact that after she found out, she continued to meet with Sue behind his back, and that's the source of betrayal Austin has towards his sister.
“...I do love her, and I love you, my brother as well. I didn’t mean to hurt you nor for it to come to…this.”Emily confirms gesturing to the meeting the three are having where tensions are high, feelings being hurt, and truths many don’t want to hear are being outed. Austin takes a deep breath before turning to his sister. “I figured…”Austin says, playing with a loose thread on his pants, unsure how to move on with his sister but he knows their relationship might never be the same. “...I truly am sorry Austin.”Emily says, causing the man to nod before turning to his fiancee who is avoiding both of the siblings' gazes.
“..and you?”He inquires to the woman he calls his fiancee, the woman he loves. “You are the main reason we are in this situation…can you at least tell me that it is because you love my sister?”He partly begs, wanting this entire thing to at least have had a reason even if it's one he never wants to slip from the woman’s lips. Then at least this wasn’t all just a big joke on him, or Emily, not a game Sue played to see if she could just play with both of their feelings, how many Dickinsons she could get to fall in love with her.
Emily knows Sue loves her…or she hopes that when the woman told her she loved her it wasn’t because she thought she wanted to hear it. She hopes Sue was telling the truth about their love. Then again, what if Emily was just a secret lover, a thrill Sue wanted and telling her ‘I love you’ was to lead her on. Emily hopes to herself its untrue, silent pleads of asking Sue the truth rest heavy on her tongue but she swallows the lump in her throat…waiting for the woman’s response.
“...yes”Sue whispers out, guilt infused around the word as she utters it, nearly unheard. She glances at Emily, a small, almost not noticeable smile on her face before she turns to Austin. Guilt on her face but with a deep breath, garnering some form of confidence looks at the man closely. “I love her...”She says strongly, heard but it still has some form of guilt, trepidation wrapped in the word.
At the emission Emily’s heart grows bursting in her chest making a small smile come on her face, despite the horrible situation they are in. Austin however looks down, cutting away from the eye contact he and Sue had as she said so.
“Does she make you happy?”Austin asks causing Sue to nod. “More than you know.”She says looking at the woman she loves before back to Austin. He just nods, head still down looking towards his khaki pants before he looks up at his sister. “She makes you happy?”He asks, a small smile on his face. “Of course she does. More than I’ve ever have before, she the reason I write so many poems, that I believe that I can be a poet.”Emily says smiling widely at her brother, being able to get the admission off of her chest to someone else besides the woman she loves. Austin smiles, small but it is a happy one as he looks between the women. Happy that two people he loves have found someone to make them happy, even if it is one he loves.
He nods smiling at the two, the weight of how his heart is breaking is hidden in his eyes behind the smile. “I’m glad. As long as I know the two of you truly love each other then…I’m happy.”He says. “...where does that leave…us?”Sue asks, she was in line to marry Austin. Even if it was out of necessity more than love, she did see Austin as a good friend. “You are my friend Austin, and I’m sorry I can’t return your feelings, truly.”Sue says, reaching out to touch the man but stops herself not wanting to hurt him more. Austin shrugs. “...we will marry. You and Emily will continue seeing each other without me in the picture. I just need some time and space to…process everything and don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.”Austin says as he looks between the two girls who nod.
“Maggie knows, so if you do need to talk to someone try her…she truly is great when it came to helping me figure out some things about this whole…situation.”Emily says to the boy who nods. “I will.”He says standing up sending the two women one last smile before leaving the room.
Emily turns to the woman she loves, her brother no longer with them releasing some tension from the air as the two women finally allow themselves time to see each other.
“Hey.”Emily says shyly smiling to Sue. “Hey.”Sue responds wide smile on her face as she reaches out her hands, hands that Emily quickly grabs clasping in her own feeling the warm, soft, and familiar touch of her lover. “That went well.”Sue says causing Emily to nod. “Better than I thought for sure.”Emily weakly chuckles out before sighing. “I am happy we told him the truth.”She finishes. “Of course, I do love you.”Sue says causing Emily to smile widely, her smile bright as the sun. “As I do you.”She says to the woman across from her as she stands up coming to lean over the woman who is stilling sitting in her chair. Similar smiles resting on both of their faces. Emily leans down and kisses Sue, its soft conveying the emotions that Emily and Sue have. How much they love each other, missed each other, are truly indebted in love with each other.