Work Text:
8:37 pm, Davey stared wide- eyed at the gun pressed against his forehead fearing that if he didn’t calm down the sweat would cause some kind of nitroglycerin to explode- as much as he liked to play the tough guy he didn’t understand guns or how he should react to the way Jade was looking at him, Jade who usually had this thoughtful, un-moving, neutral expression just stared back at him with this disgustingly unnatural grin his eyes just as shot open as Davey, perhaps only the one he could see, he couldn’t even begin to piece together what was behind his perfectly placed bangs shaded with peroxide. “Jesus Jade what’s gotten into you?!” Davey screamed attempting to make himself look smaller which proved itself to be quite the challenge, he wasn’t exactly a big muscle man but against Jade’s scrawny, fragile posture he felt much too cowardly fearing for his life. “Don’t you understand Davey?! We're going no-where! If we go out with a bang-” Jade started making a gun gesture with his hand in turn causing Davey to flinch “- people will remember us! Know our damn name! Best of all, we won’t be stuck confined to this god forsaken band!” He screamed frantically; his panting giving Davey just enough time to gather his deceitful thoughts, ”My god Jade were not Sid and Nancy and I’m not a groupie!”
However in Davey’s fear, his eyes diverted, diverting to the right where beautiful Jade’s hair was still a statuesque chestnut brown just as it had been those glorious 10 years back. Jade quickly cut Davey off from his thoughts, wavering the gun and clutching Davey’s night-black hair. “Of course not! We’re better than those self-pitying rockstars! And of course you aren’t a groupie, You’re Davey in all your glory my Davey!” Jade shouted gradually getting louder making sure to put an emphasis on the word ‘my’. In the heat of the moment Davey felt like The Jester in a pack of cards, like an object, like he had been used. He didn’t say anything in fear Jade would finally make him swallow a bullet, he steadily, cautiously brought his fist to his face and rubbed his eyes hoping that when they opened he had cleaned Jade out of his sigh, but when he opened his eyes, Jade was still there and all Davey had done was smudge his eye shadow everywhere and nearly snatched his shining silver lip piercing out from biting his lips into a state that they were bloodied like a vampire.
“Oh Davey please dear don’t ruin your beautiful lips or paint your face with your own skin” Jade hummed grabbing Davey’s androgynous face, but Davey could not muster a protest and just stared mouth agape; he’d always loved Jade’s burst of poetry but in the moment he felt himself getting annoyed, infuriated. The whole situation was so ironic, it felt like something straight out of fight club, they always had bonded over their love of Chuck Palahniuk. Despite the intensity of the situation, Davey couldn’t stop himself from muttering a joke about how Jade should’ve known his favourite Chuck Palahniuk book was ‘Lullaby’.
“Oh how unserious Davey” Jade smirked “you just can’t help yourself, you just don’t understand, I wanna die like a movie star goddamnit!” He yelled, causing Davey to shudder in a futile attempt to open his suddenly, suspiciously dry mouth. Under the dawn's light, he couldn’t help but think Jade reminded him of Annabel Lee, a truly beautiful but sadistically dark poem. Without warning, Davey was pulled forcefully to his clumsy, useless feet, gun no longer pressed against his forehead but by Jade’s ear “Jump.” He whispered into Davey’s ear a grin forming across his face. Under any normal circumstances, Davey would’ve been inclined to -on instinct- ask ‘how high?’ But this time he had no response, not that it mattered because before he could even begin to mutter a word Jade had fired the gun falling off the ledge, dragging Davey down into hell with him.
This had obviously gone according to Jade’s plan, a double suicide. “MY GOD JADE!” Davey screamed as they fell watching as the city lights below them shone, he was done for. He was really done for, he knew it as he watched the city lights dance for them and the stars turn into nothing.Davey squirmed trying to free himself from Jade’s grip as if he was not already falling down into deaths cold embrace while Jade just smiled at him with a serene look on his face. Davey knew it was over and staring into Jade’s eyes streaming his final goodbyes “Damn it Jade, hold me, tell me we’ll burn like stars!” Davey cried, Jade didn’t respond, possible because in an instant they had been penetrated by the slim, lanky, tremendous lamppost. Romantically dead not a single soul knowing of their existence.
Everything had faded to black, of course it had. Davey was dead or he should be but nearly as fast as the wave of pain had hit him he had awoken again, same place, same times, 8:37 in the evening on the rooftop where he and Jade spent essentially every evening together laughing and writing songs and despite the laws of death Jade was there with his usual sweet look on his face. Jade started opening his mouth to start talking but was quickly interrupted “JESUS CHRIST JADE! What in the stars just happened!? What’s going on!?” Davey screamed, panicked, Jade looked back at him confused “what on earth are you talking about?” Jade asked furrowing his eyebrows with a concerned look on his face, he always knew Davey was starting to lose it but it had never been explicitly clear. “No Jade seriously! We were like here on the roof and- and my god you shot yourself! You dragged me down, we both died! I swear!”Jade could tell even Davey wasn’t sure what he was talking about; he was just going on, flapping his hands, grabbing his lip ring with his teeth and tugging on his stretched lobe as if he was trying to rip the wretched thing out. “Jesus christ dude-you need to calm down, maybe see a physiatrist! I thought you didn’t drink or do drugs” Jade mumbled sheepishly as if Davey was the insane one “You’re making fun of me, you're mocking me.” He stated distastefully “No I’m not. seriously this just seems- I don’t know - a little insane?” Jade seemed doubtful of his words; perhaps he wasn’t sure if his tone was entirely sincere. “I’m not insane, Jade! I- you were acting insane why don’t you understand- you were there for christs sake!” Davey blurted out, he knew he was going insane, sane people don’t hallucinate their friends dying. “Davey, Davey dear” Jade tried his best to comfort Davey “Hey why don’t you show me what you’ve been writing” Jade replied gently, gracefully grasping a piece of paper stained with tears Davey wasn't even aware that he had been holding. In a daze Davey just forced out a simple “okay”, Jade intensely stared at the paper really trying to grasp and take in the undignified scrabble of words Davey had forced together in the hopes someone would understand. Jade always pretended to understand and he probably did more than most people, but he knew not even Jade could understand the engraved thoughts Davey had punished the paper with.
“Actually this is pretty good, very edgy” Jade told davey with a lighthearted joke at the end, Davey just bit his previously bloodied lips trying to think of a way to continue the conversation. The only reason Davey continued to breathe was so he had an excuse to talk to Jade. “I do have to say though, it would definitely benefit from-” Jade had started a sentence, one he didn’t have the chance to finish before his guts were spewed all over Davey's pathetic face. “JESUS CHRIST, JADE! WHAT HAVE I DONE!?”,It was a question Davey couldn’t answer in just a matter of seconds, Jade had exploded as if someone had planted a bomb inside his abdomen but no there was nothing no rhyme or reason, Jade had defied the laws of life and miraculously exploded with his blood covering Davey, either Davey really was insane or the Gods really hated Davey, He was spiralling, falling, he tried his best to look away stop himself from regurgitating his own guts all over Jade’s lifeless, rotten, decaying corpse Davey wondered to himself how even with his body split into a hundred differently sized parts he could look so beautiful.
Jade’s entire body had covered Davey, perhaps the closest, the most intertwined they had ever been. Jade’s organs planted maliciously across the floor and every last bit of his warm blood had stained Davey, Remaining strands of hair that were once either a deep shade of coffee brown or a glowing shade of peroxide blonde were now a revoltingly coloured in bright red, the same bright red that dyed Davey’s ivory white jeans. Jade’s kidneys had flopped of the floor and delicately splattered just to make sure Davey knew Jade was gone and he wasn't coming back.Davey just stared and stared, stared at Jade’s disgustingly stretched heart that had stopped beating and layed there, lifeless and hard. What else could he do, how can you save someone from death when death had already so brutally snatched them from your limbs? How could life have been so careless with someone as important, as precious and delicate as Jade? Davey just cowardly brought his fists to his face and rubbed his eyes, as he always did, again hoping that this time Jade would be gone, Jade would have ceased to exist when he opened them.
But this time, mayhaps only this time Jade’s mangled excuse of a body really was gone. Davey checked his watch, 8:37pm, on the same rooftop forsaken by god himself, and there Jade was, of course here is the chapel and here is the steeple. This time Jade just stared, sitting on the edge not daring to look in Davey’s general direction as if fearful he would be judged by a divine being. Davey’s eyes quickly diverted to Jade’s wrists, instantly prompting again that there was something awfully wrong with this Jade as his arms were covered in deep viscous dents that would curl inward if you even thought anything remotely negative of poor, pathetic Jade, Davey couldn’t help but gaze longingly at the way the pale colourless skin around the scars propped out tearing away from the source like they were trying to escape, trying to avoid being slit open, They were deep, bright red cuts that seemed to be getting infected just from the salty air touching them. Davey knew this couldn’t be right Davey knew Jade wouldn’t be so surreptitious about something like this. Jade’s hair had ditched the blonde fringe that loomed over his eyes and reverted back to a shorter taupe, chocolate brown, dawning a suffocatingly pink tie and a pair of silver earrings that Jade couldn't help but constantly, consistently mess with, Davey reached out and grabbed his own hair which too had gone back to when it reached his back and curled outwards, lacking Davey’s signature blonde streaks. Had he somehow gone back in time 3 years? Davey really was losing his mind. “Jade?” Davey called out, worrying that if he was too loud Jade would jump like a scared puppy consequently resulting in his body maimed at the bottom of the decolite architecture.
However Jade did not respond he just continued to stare the way Jade always stared when he didn’t know what to do. In response Davey thought it’d be best he too sat on the ledge with Jade. “Can I sit here?” Davey asked, clutching Jade’s shoulder. Jade just nodded absent mindedly, “Dude somethings going wrong in my brain-I keep having these terrible visions of you dying but every time I just, I dunno, wake up? And like uhm, when I wake up you’re somehow alive”, Jade just stared at Davey like he was insane, he probably was “-But like in these visions it was like, in the future?” Davey tried to explain, struggling to figure out the right word usage “like you have split dyed hair and my hair is shorter and you don’t have the tie anymore, you know?” Davey winced, worried Jade might think negatively of him. Davey really didn’t want to sound insane but it really did sound like he was starting to lose the plot.
“So you have hallucinations of my dying in the future? Jesus Christ Davey, why are you imagining that?” Jade asked with disdain, Davey jumped to defend himself “No it’s not like that, I don’t want you to die!” Jade stared at Davey after this looking guilty “And besides when did you start cutting yourself?” Davey asked, it seemed incredibly out of character for Jade to cut himself, sure he always came off as a bit timid, shy, perhaps even depressed but to cut himself seemed like a vast mischaracterisation, Jade again had this look of guilt on his face as if Davey would yell at him, “I uhm,” Jade stumbled to find the right words “I’m not really sure when or why, it just kind of happened?” Immediately Jade flinched, resembling that of a small child, perhaps anxious Davey would smack Jade’s sad, deplorable, pathetic excuse of a face “Oh Jade, my dear, what’s going on?”
Davey pondered “God, can you please just leave. I didn't come here to listen to you whine for god's sake!” Davey was devastated by Jade’s sudden outburst. Jade knew he had hurt Davey but just stared daggers at him. Davey just reached back he didn’t want to leave Jade, he’d just gotten him back. “Well what are you still sitting there for!” Jade shouted impatiently, Davey really couldn’t wrap his head around Jade’s sudden change in personality “Jade, my love” Davey had started but was quickly cut off by Jade shouting at him to go away. Davey felt hurt, betrayed, enraged. However, he still refused to leave Jade’s side, “No! I don’t know why you’ve suddenly got a problem with me but I'm not leaving!” Davey stated “Fine, you brought this upon yourself” Jade snarled, standing up, he looked at Davey and gave him one last smile before he walked straight off the roof with a sickening ‘crunch’ as his body hit the pavement. “JESUS CHRIST, JADE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?” Davey screamed, jumping to his feet and unconsciously fumbled backwards, forcing his eyes shut, it had worked last time, he wanted, needed, it to work again; he needed Jade’s dismantled body at the bottom of the building to be gone.
And once again when Davey awoke; Jade was there, as before, it was 8:37, the sun was setting and Jade had retreated back to his platinum blonde hair that split in half like a shipwreck, the beautiful, bronze brown that had originally occupied Jade’s hair up until ever so recently fighting with the damaged hair that had been eagerly tarnished by Jade’s makeshift bleach. In contrast, this time, Jade did not have a gun pointed to Davey’s head nor was he sitting on the ledge with his back refusing to face Davey’s worthless face. This time, Jade was in front of Davey holding his hands like precious stones and smiling longingly at Davey as if he was the one who should be scared of losing Davey. “Oh my God, Jade!” Davey bursted out, sobbing, where had God been during all of this? The god that was supposed to save his soul that had so eagerly abandoned him in such a desperate time of need and left him to watch his best friend, the love of his life, die time and time again. “Jade! Jade! Please don't leave me, please don’t die again!” Davey screamed as he collided into Jade’s chest tugging on his ‘Blondie’ shirt, taking in every part of Jade; the way his sweat stuck his clothes to him, the way his hair felt like straw in Davey’s hands, the way his body always looked one size smaller than it was supposed to be for such a ‘hard rocker’ like Jade, the way his lips felt as soft as heaven whenever they collided with Davey’s own hard, stiff lips, the way Jade was Jade and he was Davey’s and no one else could have him because he was Davey’s.
“Hey dude, calm down, what’s up?” Jade asked with that same adoring look on his face like an adoring puppy, Davey meekly hiccuped a response through his frightened tears “I don’t know, I think I’ve lost the plot, I keep having these horrible nightmares of you dying”. Jade stared sympathetically at Davey as he spoke “Jade, Jade, please don’t die, I could care less if Adam, Hunter dammit even if Nick died, but I need you to live I can’t live without you!” He wasn’t lying or over-exaggerating. Davey needed Jade to function. He may as well have been the oxygen pumping through Davey’s blood-he was sure oxygen would be useless if he didn’t have Jade. Davey was sure that if Jade stopped loving him his cell’s membrane would deteriorate and he’d drop dead right there and then. “Oh my dear, I’m still here I won’t ever leave you” Jade reassured Davey while smothering him with his tightly applied lip gloss, redirecting him from the roof-top “C’mon do you want to go home now, we can listen to ‘The cure’ on the way home hm?” Jade asked softly, tilting his head like a confused puppy. Davey just trembled a nod, rocking his head back and forth as if he was one of those bobble-head car toys as his mascara left a trail down his far too feminine face. Davey let Jade guide him to the car, that's all he ever wanted to do, be guided by Jade so he could spend all day thinking about how beautiful Jade was. Hopefully this time, he wouldn’t have to watch his best friend be carved out of his life.