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“Hypothetically speaking, do you believe in aliens?” Marco asked.
I sighed. Don't get me wrong, I love my little brother. Jake and I have been best friends since the day he'd been born. But given the choice between playing basketball with Matt and Bill, (not to mention that Matt's hot sister Kate might be there), and babysitting Jake, his slightly annoying best friend, Marco, and our cousin Rachel, I'd much prefer the first option.
Jake cocked his head to the side, thinking. He raised an eyebrow. “Didn't you specifically say that you didn't think Invasion of the Body Snatchers was realistic?”
I shoved Jake's shoulder playfully. “I'm pretty sure I said that, Midget.”
“Oh yeah.” He looked slightly sheepish.
“Anyway,” Marco continued. He turned to me. “What about you, Tom? Think there could be invaders waiting to destroy us?”
“I think you're a big dweeb,” I countered. I picked up a decorative pillow from the couch behind me and chucked it at him.
He ducked, sending the pillow flying towards Rachel. Somehow she reached up and caught it with one hand, before calmly tucking a stray piece of golden hair behind her ear and slamming the pillow back towards me with much more force than I would have expected from an eleven year old girl.
The pillow slammed hard into my chest, knocking me back into the couch. I actually had the wind knocked out for a second, and I had to take a minute to take some deep breaths.
“Geez, Rachel? What are you trying to do, kill me?”
Jake winced sympathetically.
But Rachel just smirked. “Always, Tom. Don't you know that Jake and I are constantly planning your demise?”
Jake rolled his eyes at her. “Seriously, though, are you okay, Tom?” He sounded genuinely concerned.
I laughed it off. “I'm fine. It'll take more than a pillow fight to bring me down.” I turned and mock glared at Rachel. She laughed and grabbed another pillow. “You sure you want to challenge me? That might not end well for you.”
I waved my hand dismissively. “Empty threats, empty threats.” That was a mistake. I guess I should've known better than to challenge Rachel. She gets…intense in games, especially when a fight is involved.
She lobbed the pillow at me with full force, hitting me square in the jaw, knocking me back onto the couch. My head hit the wall behind.
“Ow!” I touched the back of my head, and felt a tiny trickle of blood.
“Sorry!” Rachel yelled, looking guilty. “I didn't mean to do that!”
Jake shot a glare at our cousin. “Okay, that's enough of that game.”
There was an awkward silence for a second.
Then, in an obvious effort to change the subject, Jake turned to Marco and asked, “So what's that you were saying about aliens?”
“Well, hypothetically speaking, if there were an invasion, what would you do? I'm thinking the four of us would be the big heros, you know? Fight them off, free the captives? Get the girl? You know, like Superman.”
Rachel snorted. “No, Marco, I think you would be too much of a coward to get involved. You wouldn't do anything except run away screaming.” Marco reached over and chucked another pillow at her. She caught it and chucked it back at him.
“Hey, don't do that, Rachel! You're too dangerous in pillow fights. You could've given Tom a concussion!” Jake ordered.
“Whoa, just calm down, kids.” I said, holding up my hands diplomatically. Jake shot a glare at me. “I'm not a kid. Besides, I'm sure Rachel can think of something nicer to say.” He looked pointedly at her.
She sighed, tossing her blond hair behind her. “Fine, Jake, I'm sure Marco would fight if they took his mom or something. Reluctantly.” She added.
A heavy silence fell on the room, and I glanced at Marco. His expression hardened.
About six months ago, Marco's mom had taken their sailboat out on a stormy night, and she never came back. Everyone assumed she had drowned, although they never found the body. His dad had fallen into despair, and he was barely able to take care of Marco these days. My parents had stepped up for him, so Marco was over at our place more often than not. He never talked much about his mom, and we all had an unspoken agreement to not broach the subject in front of Marco.
Apparently Rachel didn't get the memo. Or maybe she simply didn't know.
Jake glanced at me. He indicated Marco with his eyes and looked meanfullingly back at me. I nodded subtly.
“You guys are total dorks. This conversation is stupid, because when would that ever happen, anyway?” I drawled.
It worked. Marco's eyes cleared, and he shot up in his seat and announced, “Okay, Tom, for that you're the villain in this game. The aliens already took you.”
Jake shot me a grateful look.
I shrugged absently. “Whatever.” I picked up an old magazine from the bookshelf and flipped through it, feigning disinterest.
“So who's the leader of the resistance?” Jake wondered.
Marco and Rachel pondered that for a second. “Probably you,” Marco answered. “You seem like a responsible leader type.”
Jake balked at that. “Why me though? Why not Tom?”
“Tom's already been taken, idiot!” Rachel reminded him.
“Right.” He shook his head mournfully, playing along with their game. “I guess I'm still in denial.”
“Who should I be?” Rachel asked. “I'm thinking that whatever I do, I won't go down without a fight.”
“Your our Xena:Warrior Princess, obviously,”
Marco replied. “The tank, the muscle, but always gorgeous. The beautiful warrior.”
Rachel made a face at him, then seemed to recover. She grinned. “I kind of like that. I'll be the warrior, and of course I can't not look good.”
I considered that. I could buy Rachel as a fighter. She certainly had the guts for it.
“So Jake's the leader, Rachel's the muscle, Tom's the villain…” Marco listed off, counting on his fingers.
I looked up from the article I'd been pretending to read. “Wait a minute, if the aliens took me, wouldn't they be the villains. I'd be more like an innocent victim, right?”
“I guess,” Jake said. He snapped his fingers. “No wait, you're right! You were taken, and that gives us the motivation to fight. We want to get you back!”
“What's my role in the team?” Marco reminded them. “I'm thinking I'd be the funny, cute, charismatic one. Obviously.”
“More like the short one” Rachel quipped. It was true. Even though they were both eleven now, Rachel was at least half a head taller than Marco, and Jake towered over him. Of course, Jake would always be a midget to me.
“Actually, you're pretty good at video games. Figuring out all the little tricks and stuff. You could be the brains of the operation.” Jake offered.
“Yeah, alright. As long as I can also be the charming one.”
“So what's our mission?” Rachel asked. “Find their headquarters and kick butt?”
Jake shook his head. “No, that wouldn't work. Their headquarters on earth are only the beginning. We want to capture their spaceship.”
Marco pretended to log on to an imaginary computer. “Gathering data analysis now, boss. The ship is overrun with aliens. And their victims.” He added onomissly.
For some stupid reason, I felt a chill down my spine at that.
Jake shook his head. “Then we'll have to sneak on. Disguise yourselves. Hope they don't notice us.”
“Or we could just take them out,” Rachel said eagerly, leaning forward where she sat with her legs crossed on the floor.
“No.” Jake ordered. “Wait for my signal. On three, then we hop on board the ship. Three, two, one…”
“Jake! We can't get on without help. Apparently access on board is locked by codes that only the enemy knows. We'll need a man on the inside.” Man, Marco really thinks through the logistics of things, I thought.
I decided I might as well play their game. “Fear not, help has arrived!” I boomed dramatically. “I will give you the codes. Of course, you'll have to give me whatever I want in return…”
Marco folded his arms and turned towards Jake. “We can't trust him, Jake. You know that. But we might need him to save the world.”
Rachel exchanged a glance with Marco. “Think he'll go for it?” She whispered dramatically, gesturing towards Jake.
“I don't have all day,” I said impatiently, in my best villain voice. “Look, I'm willing to give you what you want, if you let me take an escape pod and do my thing. You can still destroy everyone else.”
Jake considered this. He closed his eyes, then opened them, staring at me coldly. It sent shivers down my spine.
“Okay, you have a deal. You get me the codes, we'll give you what you want.” He stuck his hand out and I shook it.
“Okay, so what do we do?” Rachel whispered.
“We use the passwords, get on the ship, and destroy the aliens. But we can't just let Tom get away. He might try to invade another planet.” Marco whispered back. It was fascinating to watch how he worked things out. He really was brilliant.
They both turned to Jake, expressions of fake pity on their faces.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he demanded.
“Jake, I think you know what we have to do.” Rachel intoned gently.
He raised an eyebrow at her.
“She means we have to assassinate Tom.” Marco added bluntly. “We can't let him get away.”
“What?” I said. Okay, that took a turn I wasn't expecting.
Jake seemed to feel the same way. “Are you kidding me?” He asked quietly. “I'm not going to kill my own brother!”
“It's okay, Jake. I'll do it. I mean, I didn't really think you'd be able to personally…” Rachel. She had been the volunteer, prepared to murder me in cold blood. Shivers ran up my spine. I shuddered slightly. What was wrong with me? This wasn't real, it was just a game these dumb kids had come up with.
Jake gave voice to my thoughts. “I don't think we should play this anymore.” His voice broke slightly. I glanced over at him, and to my surprise he looked on the verge of tears. This was going way too far.
“Okay, we are done with this crap. Why don't we ride down to the candy shop and grab some ice cream? I'll pay,” I offered.
“Yeah that sounds good,” Marco said, jumping up. “I love rocky road. Especially when it's free.”
Rachel got up too. They opened the door and walked down the driveway to their bikes. I let them get ahead of us, then turned and pulled Jake aside for a second.
“Hey, are you okay Jake? What happened back there?”
He looked up at me, and a stray tear leaked down his cheek. “I, I just..” He took a deep breath. “I don't like thinking about hurting my family. I know it's just imaginary, but I don't like playing games like that.”
I hugged him. Jake was such a sweet kid. He truly deserved the world, and I really hoped nothing bad would ever happen to him. Or to anyone in our family.
“Well, if it makes you feel better Midget, I promise you that if I ever get abducted by aliens, you have my full permission to kill me. If you have to.”
He sort of chuckled at that. Good enough for me.
We caught up to Rachel and Marco, where Marco turned to us and asked, “Hey, I thought of another great question. If there was a fight between a bear and a venomous snake, who do you think would win?”