Chapter Text
Recording. Transcript Start.
Agent M: Hello? Is this recording?
There’s shuffling, like paper is being moved around. Something clatters and fumbling. The clink of a mug being set down.
Agent M: Ok, ok. Nothing broken. Good.
Agent M clears their throat. Clothing shuffles as a tie is tightened.
Agent M: My name is Agent M. Upper Management has asked me to make a log of the events of the May 10th Annual Anniversary of our organization, or as field agents call it, “No Massive Destruction of the World as We Know It”. I was told to state for the record it’s supposed to be the [redacted]th Anniversary or the Annual Party. Please refer to it as such.
Agent M: During the Annual Party, there was a… breach in security and a script locked in highest containment level escaped. We are still unsure of how it got out. Management is investigating as I am speaking.
Agent M: All field agents were immediately assigned to find the script, and were sent into as many scripts as we had on deck to locate the script before it got too far away. According to more senior agents the scripts like to hide among their own. I am unsure how that works but who am I to say anything.
Agent M: Agents Temp and Name filed their report stating that they made good progress with the searching besides for being delayed by Agent Alt. He had currently gotten into magic tricks, however his skills are… noted to be subpar. I would like to state for future awareness that Agent Alt had asked me what the card Agents Temp had chosen. I felt very special that day.
Agent M: Agent Solo’s report mentions encountering… oh.
There’s a moment of silence to process.
Agent M: …Uh, well it seems Agent Solo ran into Puppet and Buppet. Those puppets… I don’t trust them at all. They scare me. I believe… Agent [redacted] is their handler? It says here Agent Solo would like to never be paired with them. I don’t blame them but professionally I don’t think I can comment.
Agent M: …on this report just says “Director? I hardly know her.” I think I need to talk with Agent Comedy about how to properly fill out his reports.
Agent M: That’s it for the personal reports. An unnamed agent submitted multiple reports about the dragon from a few years prior that’s only visible from a specific angle being on the loose, but it was only confirmed to be true when Agent Comedy ran into it while searching for the script. Agents then tried to use their physical swords but were unable to damage it, and had to resort to using their invisible swords instead. My file states “All Agents except for Agent Temp had their swords ready” which is odd because I swear someone didn’t have one. I must be losing it in these archives. I need a vacation.
Agent M: The dragon was defeated thankfully by the dedication of all field agents present. During this time, the AUTHORITY had located the script and caught it in the lobby of the building. AUTHORITY and the Director of the Society were pleased with how well everyone worked together and called the party back on. The party was pretty good, I would personally like to say. The decor was lacking but the atmosphere made up for it.
Agent M: That’s where the reports end. Management, I hope this was good enough for my first time since the last guy was eaten by the Dogman when he went on vacation to Michigan. I think I’ll avoid visiting thank you- oh, I’m rambling aren’t I? Uhhh… I’ll edit that out. Sorry Management.
Agent M: Agent Mystery, signing off.
Transcript End.