Chapter Text
“You’re still here?” Jimin looked at Jeongguk with surprise as he walked in the dance studio. He saw light under the door and heard music, thinking someone just forgot to turn them off, he didn’t expect to find anyone.
“The practice ended like two hours ago, I thought I was the only crazy one staying and dancing,” he added, watching the younger walk to the speakers and turning off the music and then walking to his things and grabbing a bottle of water. There was sweat covering his body, it was visible because he had a shirt without sleeves on, that just made stand out the annoyingly big biceps that got even bigger in the military.
“One would think that after a year and half of every day work out, you would have enough,” Jimin continued teasing.
“It’s because of the year and half of constant work out that I need to exhaust myself, otherwise I can’t sleep,” Jeongguk finally spoke, taking off the sweaty shirt and grabbing a fresh one from his bag.
“You look tense lately, is it because of the comeback?” the elder wondered: “Come on, we already had one show and it went great.”
“It was just few songs in front of few hundreds of Armys right after we came back, we didn’t even dance since most of us have forgotten the choreo.”
“But still, we sang and it was great.”
“It was great seeing Armys again,” Jeongguk hummed: “But this is a proper comeback, it is a full show and we have a new song and new choreo too.”
“I know that you are a perfectionist and always want to do well, but come on, you are Jeon Jeongguk, you are gonna kill it,” Jimin said encouragingly.
“I am just on the edge,” the maknae grumbled as he changed from the shorts to sweatpants: “What I really need is a good shag.”
“Wow, okay, that is not the direction I thought this conversation would go in,” Jimin laughed, folding arms on his chest and leaning with one shoulder against the wall as he stood next to the other: “So you need to get your dick wet, is that why you are so grumpy? Is your own hand not enough?”
“It never is, nothing compares to the real deal and if you say otherwise, you are a fucking liar,” the younger deadpanned, making Jimin laugh again.
“Oh, Jeongguk-ah, how I missed you,” he grinned. He wasn’t lying, he did miss these conversations, conversations that most men their age had and they were no different, despite what many people believed. They were idols, but they were just normal guys and the whole damn Korea would be probably shocked and banish them if they ever learned what they have said and done, they were not the perfect, innocent men that many believed them to be.
“We were literally in military together, how could you miss me?”
“Well, we couldn’t really openly talk about stuff like this.”
“Most guys there talked about sex, everyone was always horny,” Jeongguk scoffed.
“It was good in the military, huh?” Jimin grinned: “Lots of hot guys, your gay ass loved that.”
“First off, I swing both ways, I am not gay,” Jeongguk corrected him: “And second, yeah, it wasn’t bad, I’ve had few hook ups here and there, you know that.”
“Just a few?”
“Well, I still had to be careful, everyone knows who we are, no matter where we go,” the younger reminded him: “It is damn annoying sometimes, right now, if no one knew who I am, I would have just gone to a club and found someone for a night.”
“But you can’t do that because we can’t ruin our image,” Jimin nodded in understanding. No one from the group had a freedom to do what they wanted, they had to maintain a certain image, they even had it in a contract, but it was even worse for members like Jeongguk and Taehyung and Yoongi who were not straight, because it would already be scandalous if a member of BTS was caught doing something inappropriate, but being caught with someone that is not a woman? That would have been hundred times worse.
“It really sucks sometimes,” Jeongguk sighed.
“How did you do it before the military?”
“You know how, it was mostly with friends of my friends or other idols, sadly we have no award shows coming up anytime soon, so that is out of question.”
“You are still bi, you can find some girl through a mutual friend, it would have been harder if you were just gay, I know all about it from Taehyung’s constant rambling,” Jimin snorted as Jeongguk picked up the bag and they got on their way to the underground garage to leave the empty building that only had guards inside because it was nearly midnight.
“Yeah, I am often thankful for my bi ass.”
“If you don’t wanna put any effort into meeting someone, just hook up with Taehyung, you are both single, that would be an easy solution,” Jimin suggested with a wink.
“You know that is a boundary we agreed to never cross,” Jeongguk said seriously: “We have maintained it for years, it would be stupid to ruin it now.”
“Or maybe it is the right time,” Jimin pointed out: “We just returned from the military and we agreed to have less exhausting schedules than before we enlisted so we can all focus also on solo careers and other stuff we like and so we can breathe and not work all the damn time.”
“That part of contract hasn’t changed, group members and members of the same company are not allowed to engage in any type of relationship.”
“Screw it, that it just a generic rule that all companies put in there,” Jimin rolled his eyes: “Besides, how would anyone ever find out if you fucked once? Or from time to time? Or…all the time?”
“Christ, shut up,” Jeongguk groaned with a scoff.
“Alright, alright, I am not gonna put any unholy thoughts in your head, god knows there are already many in there.”
“I am so happy that I don’t live with you guys anymore,” Jeongguk deadpanned.
“Admit it, you miss us, at least sometimes,” Jimin laughed, shoving the younger in the chest as they approached their cars that were next to each other.
“We hang out all the time anyway and we still have the old dorm where we hang out and sleep over sometimes.”
“Don’t be a smartass.”
“Bye, hyung, I am going home and be miserable.”
“At least you have Bamie to keep you company, and don’t you worry, you will get lucky soon, I have faith in you,” Jimin grinned, patting the younger’s shoulder.
“I am not so positive, it’s probably gonna be just me and my hand for a while,” Jeongguk grumbled.
“That is a sad prospect and one that I don’t want to think about,” the elder grimaced before they said goodbye and went to their respective cars, driving to their apartments. All the members were going to see each other tomorrow anyway, they were practicing for the comeback.
*
One day after yet another practice, Jeongguk and Jimin ended up at the maknae’s apartment. They ordered some take out and opened some beers, which is something they did together sometimes when they just wanted to relax. Now that all the members have returned from the military, it was nice to catch up, so they were often meeting, sometimes all seven of them, sometimes just few, but it felt really great.
“So have you made some progress?” Jimin asked as he finished his second beer and opened another one.
“In what?”
“Did you get laid?”
“Do I look like it?”
“Still grumpy, so my bet is on a no,” Jimin snorted.
“It’s been a week since we talked about it, do you really think that I would be able to strike some date when we work every day?” Jeongguk scoffed.
“One can always find time and energy for some good fuck.”
“True, but finding the person is hard.”
“Just find some chick, that won’t be hard.”
“I am not in mood for a chick.”
“Oh, you want a guy,” Jimin grinned: “I get it, you have always swung more to the gay side anyway.”
“That is not true,” Jeongguk protested.
“You know it is, maybe not at first, you were awkward and shy, but once that disappeared, you definitely started sleeping more with guys than girls.”
“I guess,” Jeongguk hummed when he thought about it. He liked both, men and women, but it was true that he did have a preference, when he had the opportunity, he never said no to a guy.
“Anyway, I was thinking about your little problem and I might have a solution,” Jimin continued with the previous topic, grinning mischievously.
“Do you think about my sex life a lot?” the younger teased.
“Sure, that is all I can think about,” Jimin replied sarcastically: “Don’t be an ass, do you want my advice or not?”
“I’m all ears.”
“Go fuck yourself with that tone,” Jimin reprimanded him, but it was just a banter and he wasn’t truly upset, he was used to Jeongguk being a little shit.
“Anyway, just go on a dating app,” he revealed his idea.
“Really? That’s it?” Jeongguk scoffed, unimpressed: “Do you think I haven’t thought about that? The problem is that there are normal people on dating apps and I can’t afford to meet with someone and have them tell the whole fucking world that we fucked.”
“There is this one app that I heard about, if you are in a mood for a guy, that one is for you,” Jimin started: “We both know that Korea is not the best place for gays, well, there is this one app that is very anonymous, people usually don’t post photos of their faces there and they don’t reveal their real identities.”
“Well, that is nice and all and that can work online, but not in person. I am not interested in some anonymous phone sex with strangers, what difference would it make? I would still be jerking off by myself,” the younger refused the idea.
“You can meet with them in person, idiot, no one wants to reveal their identity due to the social repercussions it could have at work or their personal lives, so they meet in masks and shit.”
“Wait and they leave them on while fucking?”
“That’s what I heard, like I said, it is about anonymity and that is what you want. As long as you don’t reveal who you are and you won’t show your face, tattoos and you won’t talk much, there is no way they could find out who you are,” Jimin said encouragingly.
“I don’t know, it still sounds risky,” Jeongguk frowned.
“I think you should give it a try, you can download the app at the very least and try to find someone to talk to, maybe if someone catches your attention and you get along and turn each other on with some dirty texts, you will change your mind and risk the meeting.”
“I guess that trying it won’t hurt,” Jeongguk hummed, his interest peaked: “I don’t have time to go out and try to find a hookup anyway, so this is the only thing I can do. I have only tried a dating app once, that was ages ago when I was like twenty and it sucked, but maybe this app will be fun.”
“I think it will be really hot to talk to strangers without knowing what they look like, you will just get some dick and booty pics and some sexy texts,” Jimin wiggled his eyebrows: “That sounds pretty great, if you ask me, I think I might try to look for a similar app for straights.”
Jeongguk thought about it for a minute, requesting the name of the app afterwards. Jimin was right, he had nothing to lose, if the app was stupid or if he didn’t find anyone interesting, he could always delete it. But the prospect of possibly finding an anonymous hookup was intriguing, he was a young man in the best years, he wasn’t a horny teenager with raging hormones anymore, but he still had needs and desires and with the stress their work brought, god knows that some good hookup could always help.
*
“So did you download the app?” Jimin came to Jeongguk with a curious grin as one of their dance practices ended. It’s been about a week since they were hanging out and since then Jimin hasn’t asked about it, but he was curious.
“I did,” the younger confirmed.
“And? You have to elaborate!”
“Nothing interesting,” Jeongguk shrugged.
“Have you even tried? Have you contacted anyone?”
“I did and few people contacted me, but they were all weird.”
“Weird how? Let me remind you that you are looking for a hookup and not a soulmate to spend your life with.”
“True, but that doesn’t mean there can´t be a bit of flirting and getting to know each other,” the maknae pointed out: “I like boldness, but when the very first message someone sends you is ‘hey, want me to piss on you?’ that is not very sexy.”
“Oh my god,” Jimin laughed, pretending like he was throwing up: “I’ve heard that gay apps were wild, I just thought it was a stereotype.”
“No, believe me, it is very much real.”
“Well, you just have to really get into it, do you even have profile pic?”
“Nope, it is about anonymity, remember?”
“You don’t have to take a selfie of your face, you idiot, just post a dick pic, or something,” Jimin snorted.
“I don’t want my dick on a public app!” Jeongguk protested.
“Then not a dick, choose a part of your body that you know guys drool over, that will draw people in.”
“Well, they usually drool over my dick,” the maknae grinned, proud about the double meaning his words were hiding.
“You are stupid,” the elder rolled his eyes: “Anyway, like I said, you just have to get used to it, I know you have a bad experience with dating apps, but it can be better this time.”
“Well, I have lots of free evenings when our schedule ends, I guess I can get more into it.”
“You are going home now?”
“Nope, I’m heading to the gym.”
“Still not tired?”
“Not really, I need to get out a bit more energy,” Jeongguk confirmed.
“Well, I am going, so enjoy yourself, but don’t overdo it, we have the photoshoot for the promo posters tomorrow, we need to get our beauty sleep.”
“Maybe you do, I always look good,” Jeongguk grinned teasingly.
“Asshole,” Jimin muttered, which just earned him a chuckle from the younger and then their ways separated, Jimin headed to the elevator to go to the garages, while Jeongguk took the stairs to go to the company gym that they were all free to use.
It was pretty late, it was almost nine in the evening, so he didn’t think there would be someone else, but when he entered, he saw that he wasn’t the only one that decided for some evening workout.
He stopped by the door when he spotted Taehyung at one of the machines, he didn’t notice him, he probably had earbuds in, listening to some music, so Jeongguk gave himself a minute to shamelessly ogle the older guy.
Taehyung gained lots of muscle in the military, which was to be expected since he was in the special forces and he was working out shirtless, which just made it more obvious. Jeongguk liked it how ripped he became, but at the same time, there was still something delicate about him that he always liked as well. Even with muscles, Taehyung didn’t look huge, he wasn’t naturally that broad, he was rather lean and even though the bigger arms and back and toned stomach were sexy, Jeongguk liked that he still remained…fragile and soft in some ways. His waist and legs were still quite thin and his backside was still big, that was the first thing Jeongguk noticed about Taehyung when they saw each other few weeks ago when their enlistment ended, it was actually bigger now, probably due to all the squats he has done and that was definitely something Jeongguk was not mad about.
Taehyung has always been gorgeous in Jeongguk’s eyes, it was hard to ignore just how attractive he was. It was actually Taehyung that was Jeongguk’s bisexual awakening years ago.
He has always liked Taehyung’s looks, he was very easy on the eyes, and as they were growing up side by side and they got in puberty and their hormones started raging, Jeongguk realized over time that what he thought was just mere admiration and appreciation was actually attraction.
Taehyung was the first person that he confided in with the discovery of that side of him. He always thought that he only liked girls, probably because it was the default for most people, so he never gave it much thought that he was also into guys. But when he did realize that, he held it in for a while, until he needed to tell someone. He knew already back then that Taehyung was gay and he was also the only person that Jeongguk was comfortable with talking about these things, so he shared his confusion with him. And it was Taehyung who helped him resolve that confusion and accept that he really was bisexual, because Taehyung was his first kiss with a male.
They have always had a special bond, it was hard to describe, but they just clicked so perfectly and even though Jeongguk loved all his hyungs, he couldn’t deny that what he had with Taehyung was different and more profound. He was aware that he had feelings for Taehyung and he was sure the elder felt the same, but because of the company’s policy and because of their careers, they never talked about it and never acted on it. Once, years ago, when they were drunk, they played with the idea of hooking up just because they were both single so why not, but they agreed to not overstep that boundary, because they were worried what it might lead to. So they just remained friends and Jeongguk didn’t know about Taehyung, but he knew that until this day when it came to him, he has never really gotten over his feelings for the elder, he just buried them deep inside.
“Jeongguk-ah!” Taehyung’s voice brought him from his thoughts and when he looked at the other, he was smiling at him, holding the wireless earbuds in his hands as he took them out when he finally spotted him.
“Hyung, looking good working out,” Jeongguk winked, walking over to a bench to put his bag on so he could get ready for the workout.
“Surely not as good as you,” Taehyung grinned.
“It’s so bizarre to see you here on your own accord, before enlistment, I often had to drag you in here with me.”
“Well, I got used to it, it’s not like I could have said no to my superiors, could I? And my pout only works on you so…” Taehyung chuckled.
“Really? That is shocking, I would have thought that no one was immune to that pout.”
“Nope, only you are weak for it.”
“Did you hear earlier at the practice? Hobi-hyung and Jiminie-hyung started planning some little vacation at the end of summer after the comeback show,” Jeongguk changed the topic smoothly, because it was never hard to come up with something to talk to Taehyung about.
“Yep, I heard that, I think it is a good idea,” Taehyung smiled, grunting as he pulled at the bars of the machine he was sitting on, continuing in the workout: “We have been separated for too long, it’s been so long since Jin-hyung enlisted as the first one, so it will be nice to go to some little vacation together.”
“We can still hang out in Seoul.”
“Well, you and I haven’t really,” the elder pointed out.
“You know where I live, if you miss me so much, hyung, you can just come by,” the maknae teased.
“Careful or I might take you up on that offer, you know that I have a habit of showing up at ass-o’clock.”
“Really? Even after the military?”
“You might find out soon,” Taehyung winked.
“You can come over whenever you want, hyung, you know that my door is always opened to you.”
“Same goes for you, who do you think I always keep couple of beers in my fridge for?”
“Wow, cold beers sound nice, I might stop by your place before you stop by mine,” Jeongguk chuckled.
“Anytime, Jeongguk-ah, anytime,” Taehyung smiled, his eyes wrinkling softly. It was that kind of smile that did things to Jeongguk’s heart, the kind of smile that he has noticed over the years Taehyung had reserved only for him. It was warm and beautiful, but it was also a painful reminder of what they could have possibly had if their lives were different and they weren’t globally known superstars that were under the radar of media and fans all the time. Jeongguk sometimes wondered what it would have been like if they have met as two students at a university or something, but he never let those thoughts linger for too long, because they were good for nothing.
So instead of dwelling on that smile and the look in Taehyung’s eyes that were still on him, he took off the hoodie and went to one of the machines, knowing that good workout always helped him, not just with excessive energy, but also with useless thoughts.
When Jeongguk came home later that evening, he still wasn’t really tired despite being in the gym for two hours. Maybe it was because he spent more time staring at Taehyung instead of working out, he really needed to get laid, his thirstiness was getting out of hand.
He ate something and took a quick shower and lay in the bed, not to sleep, but to grab his phone and follow Jimin’s advice and to get a bit more serious about the dating app he downloaded a week ago. He didn’t really fill in anything about himself or his preferences, he only chose a nickname, it was Jay79, he didn’t want it to be anything too personal and this seemed like a pretty generic nickname that a lot of people on that app had and that could never possibly tell anyone who he was.
Jimin told him to post some profile pic and since his face wasn’t an option, he had to come up with something else. He wasn’t cocky, but there were many body parts that he was proud of and that people admired, but then he settled for the most basic photo, but he knew it worked, gays loved abs.
“This is weird,” he muttered to himself as he lay in a position in which his stomach was flexing so the muscles stood out and snapped couple of pics, making sure there was nothing visible of his bedroom. He did livestreams in his apartment, there might be someone that would recognize the surroundings, so he had to be really careful.
He was content with the picture, choosing the best one and uploading it. It felt slightly strange to see his body like that in a profile picture, but this was a dating app mostly used for hookups so being little bit sexual didn’t hurt.
He also thought that checking some tags wouldn’t hurt either, it was definitely going to help to draw people in if they read something about him. So as his hobbies he filled music, because everyone liked music, he chose sports because he did like boxing and working out and being active in general, then he also checked videogames because why not and then friends, which he supposed meant he liked going out sometimes and that was true.
There was also a part where one could choose if they were looking for something serious or for something causal so he checked the latter, because he was primarily looking for sex. He didn’t mind chatting with someone, it could be fun, but he wasn’t looking for a relationship either, so he didn’t want to lie.
He got to the part where he should check his preferences, he looked at those three words - top, bottom, switch and he thought about it before he checked top. In all fairness, he didn’t mind either so he could probably identify as a switch, but it was true that he preferred topping and especially when it came to random hookups, because being at the receiving end just felt too personal and vulnerable to do it with someone he didn’t know.
He looked at the tags that were about preferences in bed and what they were looking for on this app, not sure if he should put something in. He saw profiles of some people before and some were very bold and just laid everything out in the tags, he thought that a bit of mystery didn’t hurt and that it was part of fun to reveal to the people he was chatting with what he liked, it was spicing things up. So eventually he just chose to check a few general tags like big booty, because hell yeah, he liked those, he also chose that he was looking for someone submissive, not that he had some big desire to dominate someone, but he did like being in control. But he also checked the tag ‘brat’ because he liked that too, he liked when people were confident and playful, it made everything more fun.
He quickly read through the updated profile, deciding that it was just enough, not too much but not too little and he was surprised to see that there were already couple of new messages in the inbox, mostly praising his profile picture, some having very bold suggestions (like one message that said ‘punch me, daddy’).
He wondered what he got himself into, but then he just let it go and decided it wasn’t a big deal, he could delete the app anytime and he never had to meet anyone in person if he didn’t want to. Maybe he was going to chicken out and just find a hookup in the usual way, but it was hard, sometimes he really hated that his life was like under a microscope.
*
“Jeongguk-ah, did you sleep at all? You have circles under your eyes,” Hoseok squeezed the younger’s shoulders and started massaging them as he came to him. Jeongguk was currently sitting in a make-up chair, getting his hair and face done for the photoshoot.
It was their first official photoshoot as seven members in years. The last time they were together and did something group related was in 2022, so it’s been almost three years and it was a big deal. They already did one show for few hundred fans to show the world that they were back, but the official comeback was yet to happen. It was exciting, especially being able to do music again, they were already finishing their first new song and soon they were going to start recording new album. They were all in the process of writing now, mostly the rap line as usual, but all the members wanted to participate on the new album and put a piece of themselves in it.
They knew that they weren’t going to be as busy as before enlistment, that was the deal with the company, Jimin and Taehyung were both turning thirty that year, so Jeongguk was the only remaining member that was not going to be in his thirties when the years ended. They weren’t old, but they didn’t have the energy of their past selves and knew they wouldn’t be able to live the hectic lives they used to and they also wanted to focus more on solo projects, that was something they all agreed on. They still loved working as a group and they had some exciting projects coming up, not just the album probably followed by a tour, but their team was already working on Run BTS because the show was beloved by the fans and they always had fun doing it. There was also Bon Voyage or something similar in the talks, which sounded great, because even though there were cameras recording their every move, they have always enjoyed such shows and treated them like vacations.
“Not a lot,” Jeongguk admitted, proving his words with a yawn that he couldn’t hold back.
“What did you do all night?” Hoseok chuckled.
“Yeah, what did you do?” Jimin asked with a shit-eating grin as he came to them because he overheard the conversation.
“I was just on my phone,” the maknae shrugged.
“Yesterday you said you didn’t need a beaty sleep, well, looks like you are not as young and perfect anymore, because you look like shit,” Jimin laughed, never missing the opportunity to mess with Jeongguk just like the younger never missed to mess with him.
“Don’t listen to them, Jeongguk-ah, you look great, they are just jealous because they are all old,” Taehyung spoke from where he was sitting next to the younger with earbuds in his ears and closed eyes so no one supposed he would hear them, but he obviously did.
“Pfft, you always side with your Jeonggukie,” Jimin rolled his eyes at his best friend.
“Someone has to take my side when all of you are so fucking mean,” Jeongguk retorted.
“Aw, poor Jeonggukie, what terrible hyungs he has,” Hoseok cooed, ruffling the maknae’s hair, which earned him a reprimanding look and smack on the hand from Jeongguk’s hairstylist because he finished just few minutes ago.
When they were all ready, the photoshoot could start. The background was quite simple because the photographer wanted to let them and their looks shine. There wasn’t any particular theme for the comeback, or rather, the theme was about letting their natural selves be seen to the world, so all of them were given more or less free hand in what they wanted to wear to fit their personal style. Namjoon, Hoseok and Taehyung all opted for rather stylish clothes because that was their personal style, while the other four members opted for more casual things that made them feel comfortable.
“Seriously, someone should take all black clothes from your closet,” Seokjin teased Jeongguk because the maknae was, unsurprisingly, in all black.
“Then he would have to walk around naked because he has nothing else,” Hoseok laughed.
“I bet Armys would love that,” Jimin laughed.
“I have clothes in other colours!”
“White doesn’t count.”
“I don’t have only black and white.”
“Leave him be, this is about us wearing what we want, that is the point, Jeonggukie likes black, everyone knows that, it won’t come as a surprise,” Namjoon stepped in defence of the youngest member, giving him a warm smile.
“Most Armys love Jeongguk in black, they will like the photos,” Taehyung came to Jeongguk’s defence as well: “No one can pull off all-black outfits quite like our Jeonggukie.”
He wrapped his arm around Jeongguk’s shoulders, just naturally drifting towards him and touching him as if it was the most natural thing in the world. They have always been like that, once Jeongguk got comfortable with being touchy, hardly anyone could ever separate them.
That’s how they remained during the photoshoot, them two side by side, which was often rare, because the company has been separating them quite often, because of the rumours that were going around about them. Fans loved them together though, they often called them a visual duo and their goods looks were standing out when they were next to each other, even more so now that they returned from the military with strong physiques.
When they had a break, Jeongguk noticed that Taehyung was on his phone. That wouldn’t be anything weird, most of them were killing time on their phones, but he noticed that the elder was very obviously texting with someone, his face focused to the point he was ignoring his surroundings. He briefly wondered if maybe Taehyung was seeing someone or if he was just texting with friends? He knew that it was none of his business, but they were friends, so it was natural that he wanted to know. He thought that maybe they should really hang out since it’s been a while, just the two of them, Jeongguk really missed that.
“Jeongguk-ah, come on, we continue!” Seokjin’s voice brought him from his thoughts. He saw Taehyung putting the phone away and they joined the rest of the group in front of the camera, only sharing a brief smile.