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Valentina was no saint. She made the programs that all of them were a part of. All at their lowest, and
she took advantage.
Bob.
Yelena.
Ava.
John.
Unaccepted. Outcasted. Hated. Misunderstood. Pained. Guilt ridden.
Although they desired to help others, to save others, they couldn’t fix their pasts. John Walker knew - has a past that resonated so violently in America that the government’s failure to provide safety for the people became a hateful unacceptance of him, regardless of heresays. He lived for and found his own purpose within Captain America.
As Lemar bled out, so did his care of living to be the new symbol. Revenge became his purpose - temporarily filling loss with fury. But whatever righteousness and loyalty his acts stemmed from were overlooked as the government and society labeled him: the failed Captain America. Stripped of all he’d earned as a soldier but is training.
The soldier serum couldn’t redeem his fall, only make his voice louder. It gave him a better chance at keeping innocents safe and making sure threats would be eliminated. That was all he could ask for; more than what he was left with.
Valentina gave him the title, and with it a new purpose. U.S. Agent: an assassin. He should have known others would want the same purpose he craved, it could have prevented the Taskmaster’s death. Though, most religions believe a sacrifice must be given before a blessing is bestowed; some fucked up karma that got the Thunderbolts.
Fast forward a couple months, a quarter successful assassination attempt, another murder attempt, a kidnapping, a hesitant team up, a rescue mission turned belly up, and an official team up; here they all are. The New Avengers. In the end, she brought them together; even though the press will never have the full story of how for her own sake.
Despite his relief to have others to rely on and trust with his life, it doesn’t fill the familial hole in his chest for Lemar, Olivia, and for Noah. No one will; he doesn’t want them to. So he leaves. No honeyed words from De Fontaine could sugar coat his reputation. He could already picture the headlines. Fraudulent Avengers?, New Avengers: Conjoined Killers, or maybe Assassins Assemble!. Besides, the only teammate he knew was Barnes and they never spoke after he laid down the spiralling red, white, and blue version of himself.
But De Fontaine gave him a purpose, and that’s all John needs.