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“Cersei, why must we do this?” Cersei absolutely hated it when Jaime took that tone with her; it was as if he was trying to emulate the maesters whenever they tried to discipline the twins.
“Because he is a monster and he killed mother.” Cersei looked down at her brother who was almost two name days young and had yet to make a coherent peep. But he did move around and gurgle whenever someone paid any attention to him, not during feedings or cloth changes, just basic interaction. The wet nurses and chambermaids paid him no extra time, and for them he was quiet.
“He didn’t kill mother, he’s just a babe.” They’d had this argument for too long. It was annoying how Jaime couldn’t seem to relent.
“Father thinks it.” Cersei knew this would end the point. Jaime seemed to physically recoil at the mention of father. “You’re a terrible disgusting oaf, who's incapable of speech.” Cersei cooed at Tyrion. It was a pastime of hers. It was therapeutic to do this.
“Cersei.” Cersei turned to him with a glare.
“It’s not as if he understands me. Isn’t that right you blight on our house?” Cersei looked down as Jaime winced, and Tyrion was smiling and reaching his hand out as if he wanted to feel some form of physical affection.
“Cersei.” Jaime said to her with his holier-than-thou attitude. But Cersei didn’t break eye contact with Tyrion, looking at him like he was a bug she was deciding whether to step on. But this time his gummy smile closed as if he was trying to form a word.
“Suh… S-suh… sir… see…”
Cersei froze and looked as if she wanted to bolt out of the room. Jaime’s eyes widened. “Cersei, did he-”
“Cersei.” Tyrion repeated, his hands coming together to clap. He wiggled, grinning, clearly pleased with himself. Cersei was looking at him as if his first words were in High Valyrian.
“No.” Cersei said angrily, her hands moving as if to expedite the point that Tyrion should remain mute.
“Cersei.” Tyrion giggled.
Jaime was giggling. “Cersei,” he said in a baby voice in between laughs, which only egged Tyrion on to repeat it.
“Stop. I will tell father if you continue.” Cersei said, picking up Tyrion and staring him down. Which only made Tyrion overjoyed. “Cersei, Cersei, Cersei.” Jaime sensed Cersei was about to tighten her grip or maybe even shake him and took Tyrion.
“Shut up, Jaime.” She snapped, cheeks turning redder by the second. “Babies are stupid. He has no understanding of what he’s saying. For all he knows, you’re Cersei.”
Jaime smirked at that challenge. “Is that right?” He turned to Tyrion in his arms and cooed at him. “Who’s Cersei?”
Tyrion turned toward Cersei immediately and pointed, giggling, beaming like she hung the moon.
“Cersei!” Tyrion was extra giddy from all the attention, kicking his legs in Jaime’s arms, making Jaime sadly put him back down. But Tyrion stood in his crib and stared at both of them, gleaming.
Cersei looked as if she was going to combust.
“He’s mocking me.” She said, turning to Jaime, which made Jaime see Tyrion visibly deflate. Silently, Jaime wondered why he couldn’t be the favorite.
“He’s a baby.”
Cersei looked back over to Tyrion, who now tried to stand taller. She said, “He’s a menace.” And Tyrion only smiled at being acknowledged.
“Cersei.”
“I swear,” she began, voice trembling with barely contained rage, “if you torment me any longer with this tomfoolery, you will learn pain in a way your feeble mind cannot begin to comprehend. You tiny, ingrate, mother-killing,”
She was inching closer and closer, finger pointed like a blade, her voice rising with every insult.
And then Tyrion hugged her.
Cersei stopped. Mouth half-open. Words frozen. Tyrion clung to her legs like she was his beloved golden lion, grinning ear to ear.
“Get off me, you disgusting, foul crea-”
Before she could finish, Jaime threw his arms around them both.
And for a brief, horrifying moment, Cersei felt herself sinking into the warmth.
Cersei looked down at Tyrion, who had nestled his head against her with a satisfied sigh. Her arms stayed stiff at her sides.
“This is emotional warfare,” she muttered.
Then, with all the grace of a lioness thoroughly insulted, she shoved both boys off of her and stormed out of the nursery.
“I hope you both choke!” she shouted over her shoulder.
In Jaime's arms, Tyrion giggled, watching his sister leave and said, “Cersei.”