Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"I don't trust him. Not one bit," Link growled.

"I don't either... Not really…" Susan mumbled, more to herself than anything else.

"What are we doing again?" B.O.B. asked.

"Shhhh!" The other two shushed him in unison.

"We, B.O.B., are SPYING on them!" Susan whispered, as the three of them peaked around the corner.

They were watching the newest employee of Area Fifty-Something BLATANTLY flirt with Dr. Cockroach.

"I bet he thinks he's being subtle..." Link said, as they watched you giggle like an idiot.

"Wow, Doctor, you're so funny!" You laughed, shoving him slightly on his shoulder. Your hand lingered on him, just for a moment, not wanting to pull away.

Dr. Cockroach chuckled, looking proud of himself. "I AM quite well versed in puns, aren't I?"

"You ARE!" You said, all wide shining eyes gazing at him. "You know, if you weren't so dedicated to your work, I'd say you should try comedy!"

"Really?" The man said, sounding genuinely surprised.

"Yeah, you're so-," your sentence was cut off by a voice on your walkie-talkie.

"(Y/N)! Report to sector B immediately!" The voice crackled out from the machine.

"Oops, I gotta go. I'll see you around, Doctor," you said with a wave.

"See you around," Dr. Cockroach said back, smiling. He watched you walk away, eyes lingering on you for longer than he'd like to admit. When you finally left his line of sight, he let out a sigh of relief and turned around, only to come face to face with the other monsters.

"Augh!!" He shouted, practically getting scared out of his exoskeleton. "O- oh. Hello, everyone..." He chuckled nervously.

"Doc. We gotta talk," Link said sternly.

"About...?" He asked tentatively.

"About your boyfriend!"

"B.O.B.!!" Susan and Link shouted in unison.

"What?" B.O.B. asked. "I thought that's what we were doing! Spying on Doc and his new boyfriend."

Dr. Cockroach felt himself turn an even brighter shade of red, blood rushing to his face. "Q- quiet down!!" He fussed at them, shooing the entire group out of the main room and into their little personal living room they had in their quarters. As soon as everyone was inside, he closed the door behind them in a desperate attempt to gain some privacy. He pressed his back against the door, like he was trying to bottle all of his emotions and secrets inside this one room.

"What- what do you MEAN 'boyfriend?!'"

"C'mon Doc, you seriously haven't noticed the new hire making goo goo eyes at you?" Link asked, slightly frustrated.

The Doctor laughed nervously, waving his hand dismissively. "N- no! Absolutely not, you must be imagining things."

"Dr. C, all he's done since he arrived is talk and fawn over you. Don't you think it's a little weird?" Susan asked.

"Yeah! He talks to you like, alllll the time!" B.O.B. laughed, completely unaware of how his words might embarrass Dr. Cockroach. "It's almost like he has a crush on you or something! Which wouldn't happen, cause like, we ARE monsters after all-."

B.O.B. was cut off by Link shoving a hand over his mouth. "Listen," Link said, "he's been all over you. Don't you think it's a LITTLE suspicious?"

Dr. Cockroach deflated, a nervous laugh leaking out of him. "Y- yeah... I guess you're right."

"Wait," Susan said, unable to stop her grin, "do you actually have a CRUSH on him?"
"No!!" Dr. Cockroach said, a little too loud, a little too fast, a little too defensively. "Even if I DID would it even matter? Like you said, someone like that wouldn't... actually like someone like me..."

Susan frowned, moving to rub Dr. C on his back. "Hey, that's not what we meant. It's just-... Link? Help me out here"

"What we MEAN is that we don't want someone taking advantage of you," Link said, trying not to make the situation worse. "I mean yeah, maybe he is genuine. But... I don't know, man, he's got bad vibes."

B.O.B. nodded along, honestly a lot of the deeper nuances going clean over his head. "I just know that he's... Well... I don't know what he is, but I don't like it!"

Dr. Cockroach rolled his eyes, "do you even know what we're talking about?"

"Nope!" B.O.B. said, cheerful as ever.

Dr. Cockroach dragged his hands across his face, sighing deeply. "I guess you're right, it is a LITTLE suspicious that the newest hire wants to spend so much time with any of us..."

Suddenly, the man’s smartphone pinged. He whipped it out without any hesitation, or really much concern for the conversation at hang. "Hang on, (Y/N) just sent me a text."

"Oh my God," Susan said, a mixture of excitement and despair in her voice. "You DO have a crush on him!!! What did he say?!"

"N- nothing!! He just asked if he could eat lunch with me- I mean us. All of us. Tomorrow." Cockroach said, typing quickly into his phone to respond.

"And you said...?" Link asked, tentatively.

Dr. Cockroach didn't respond, alternating between reading quietly and typing quietly as he stared at his phone.

"Hey! Earth to Doc!" Link said, waving his hand in front of Doc's face.

"Huh?" Doctor Cockroach looked up from his phone, his expression momentarily confused before grinning sheepishly.

"What did you say?" Link asked, again.

"Oh, yes, of course. I told him I- I mean we- would be happy to meet up with him."

“We WOULD be?” Susan asked.

Well, of course we would!” B.O.B. said, almost incredulously. “Why wouldn’t we want to meet Doc’s boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Dr. Cockroach said loudly, almost shouting.

Link sighed deeply, rubbing between his eyes, "yes of course, of course you said that..."

Cockroach grinned. “It’s a date- ACK- I- I mean-," he sputtered, embarrassed, "not a date!!"

"Awesome!!" B.O.B. exclaimed, "we're all going on a date with Doc's new boyfriend!"

"He's not my boyfriend!" Doc cried out, curling in on himself in embarrassment. The emotions are almost too much for him, completely unaccustomed to this kind of thing.

"Well..." Susan said through gritted teeth, "I guess we're all eating lunch with him tomorrow."
Cockroach chuckles slightly, "Come on, now, everyone. You'll really like him if you just give him a chance."

"Please..." Cockroach thought to himself, "Just give him a chance."

Chapter Text

The monsters were sitting at their usual lunch table, having just settled down to eat when you walked into the cafeteria. When you spotted them, you waved cheerfully. Susan and Link tried not to grimace, while B.O.B. just waved right back. Doc couldn't help but stare at you as you got your tray and piled the food that just barely classified scientifically as food on top of said tray. He tried not to make it obvious, but it definitely was. It was almost sickening to watch you dart your eyes over to him, letting your gaze rest on him briefly before looking back at what you were doing.

"Link. Move." Doc demanded.

"Absolutely not, I always sit here," Link responded, quite honestly a bit offended. Dr. Cockroach didn't even have to say why. Everyone already knew he wanted Link to move over to give you space to sit beside him.

As you approached the table, giving him that smile that made his heart flutter, he quickly shoved Link while his guard was down, hard enough that he fell off of the bench and onto the floor with a loud and dramatic "Oof."

"Hey!!" Link spat out, but Dr. Cockroach ignored him.

"Hi, (y/n), I saved you a seat!" Doc said to you, trying to hide his excitement.

"He sure did..." Link mumbled to himself as he picked himself up off the floor and scooted further down the bench.

"Aww, you're such a gentleman!" You remarked, squeezing in between the two of them. Link couldn't help but slide away from you; he still didn't trust you. Why was a human being so lovey-dovey with Doc?

Most of the employees of Area Fifty-Something just tolerated the monsters, and now one of them was all over Doc? It didn't add up. Both Link and Susan had a hard time believing a regular human found one of them attractive enough to so brazenly flirt with on the clock. There had to be something else to you, at least in their eyes.

Despite Link's instinct to keep away from you, it didn't really matter. Not when you were practically pressed against Dr. Cockroach, him leaning into you as your shoulders and thighs touched. It made the poor man's head spin in a way he didn't think was possible for someone with his caliber of intelligence. But here you were, in all your glory, looking at him with wide (e/c) eyes that seemed to look right into his soul before turning to the rest of the monsters.

"How have y'all been?" You asked, cheery as ever. You were either unaware of the tension in the air around you, or you simply didn't care.

"Fine..." Link said, teeth gritting slightly.

"Oh, I'm alright..." Susan said, tentatively.

"Great!" B.O.B. exclaimed, "It's always good to make a new friend! Most of the people here don't exactly appreciate us. This is so new and exciting!"

Doc swore he could feel pure sunshine radiating off of you as you spoke. "Haha, yeah, I bet," you said, immediately leaning into the conversation. "I don't think we've had a proper introduction. My name is (y/n)."

"It's good to meet Doc's new boyfriend!" B.O.B. said, like it was nothing.

Dr. C curled in on himself, shame spreading across his body. He didn't even have it in him to chastise B.O.B., not with the way his heart was pounding. You laughed, and he waited for the rest of the rejection. But? Instead, you turned to him, a slight flush on your cheeks.

"Aww, is that what you've been telling everyone?" You said, a smile on your lips. You slide your hand onto Doc's thigh, below the line of sight for B.O.B. and Susan, but right where Link could see. "You're adorable," you cooed to him sweetly as your thumb rubbed against the fabric of his lab coat. Despite the several layers of clothes, he could still feel your gentle touch as clear as day. His brain practically broke, his entire body feeling flushed.

"I- I- well-," the man stuttered out, unable to pull himself together.

"And here I thought you didn't like me!" You teased.

You were bold, bolder than the other would've liked. Bold enough to make you seem suspicious.

You and Doc were the only two at the table not visibly frustrated. It was like you brought him into your own little world, at least from his perspective.

"What- what would- what would make you think that?" Dr. Cockroach asked.

"Well," you teased gently, "you brought your friends to our lunch date~"

"But- but you- you said you wanted to eat with everyone!"

You chuckled, "I know, honey, I'm just teasing you."

Susan couldn't decide if she was team Cockroach x (y/n), or anti Cockroach x (y/n). "This could be amazing for Doc..." She thought to herself, "as long as (y/n) isn't tricking us. Ohhh but I love love! Ugh! We've got to do some digging on this guy!"

"IS this a date?" Susan asked, her voice teetering between nervous and angry.

You looked at Doc, your expression playful. "Ask him!" You exclaimed, your hand still on his thigh. You were always so touchy, Doc was starting to think that he should wear shorts and a t-shirt just so he could feel your skin against his.

When Doc froze up, you took the lead, "I'm sorry, Doc, I shouldn't tease you so much in front of your friends. You're just so..." You trailed off.

"So, what?" Dr. Cockroach asked, almost fearful.

"Delightful," you said, your voice so genuine it gave the poor man heart palpations. "Either way," you sighed happily, "You never told me how YOUR day was, Doc~"

Doc's expression softened, "Oh, it's been alright."

"Better now that you're here..." He thought quietly to himself, trying not to let it show in his expression.

Still, though, you smiled like you were reading his mind.

"C'mon, tell me more! I want to know all about what you've been working on!" You exclaimed, like whatever information he would spill would be the most interesting thing in the entire world.

You were going to be the death of him, he was sure of it.

Chapter Text

You had somehow managed to steal Doc off the hands of the other monsters after lunch, saying you wanted to see his newest invention.

"That was... Wow," Link said, exasperated.

"I don't know, he seems nice," B.O.B. said but it was less of a rebuke and more of an innocent observation.

"Maybe B.O.B. is right, maybe this will be good for him," Susan responded, a glint of hope in her voice.

"Absolutely not, that guy is hiding something. I just know it," Link replied.

"I don't know," Susan teased, "I think you're just jealous."

Link sputtered, anger bubbling up inside of him, "Jealous of what?!"

"Jealous that Dr. C is getting some action before YOU," Susan said, biting back a grin. "You still haven't been able to win over Sta'abi, have you?"

"This- this has nothing to do with ME. I'm NOT insecure about something as dumb as this. Has (y/n) seriously already won you over?! We know nothing about this guy!"

Sometimes, B.O.B. did have some wisdom to him, which he accidentally showed off as he responded to their bickering. "I mean, you're going after Sta'abi. An alien. Is there really any difference between that and a human going after a monster?"

The other two froze in their paths. Maybe he had a point. Maybe they were just being too judgmental. The silence sat for a moment, all of the monsters just staring at each other quietly and thinking before Link spoke again.

"I... guess there isn't much of a difference," he said as the gang continued walking.

"We can always just go back to our living quarters to check on them," Susan said.

"Great idea!" B.O.B. smiled.

As the three of them moved towards the living quarters, nothing felt off that they could sense. Each was in their own thoughts to different degrees, not speaking but rather walking together in comfortable silence. Once they approached the closed door, though? There was almost a change in the air.

Everyone froze, fear gripping them. Had (y/n) done something? As a team, they creeped closer to the door, no noise of talking from the other side. The tension in the air settled briefly before Link took charge and practically kicked the door open.

"DOC!" Link shouted, half expecting to find a corpse, only to find something that NONE of them wanted to see from their friend. Most people don't want to see their friend making out with someone they don't like, after all!

Your bodies were pressed tightly together, Doc leaning slightly against the back of the couch that faced away from the door. So? Doc met his friends eyes before you did as you both pulled away from each other. His face, which had already been flushed, turned a bright shade of red as he froze up, embarrassment taking control of his body.

You, on the other hand, were far more composed. You didn't even pull off of him, simply turning your head to what all the God damn commotion was about. Grinning sheepishly at them, you blushed but no-where near to the same extent as Doc. Limbs tangled together, your leg shoved between his legs and your thigh pressed against his groin with Doc white-knuckle gripping the back of the couch. An intimate moment interrupted.

"Heheh... Whoops," you chuckled.

"G- get out!" Doc cried out, grabbing and chucking a pillow off the couch towards his friends. How cruel of his friends go cock block him, after all.

The pillow smacked Link clean in the face, but still, the three monsters did nothing but stand and stare.

"Is that my cue to leave?" You joked, it being near impossible for the rest of them to tell if you were blowing this whole situation off or if you were just joking to relieve some of the tension that was thick in the air.

"Yeah. You should get out," Link said, firmly.

You sighed, pulling away from Dr. Cockroach, "Alright, I should get back to work anyways." You turned your attention back to the obvious object of your affections. "You'll still meet me at 5?" You asked him, the tips of your fingers running along his jawline in such a way the poor man had to fight back a shiver. So unaccustomed to such attention and affection, he was, that your skin against his felt as searing hot as lava.

"Wouldn’t- wouldn't miss it for the world!" Dr. Cockroach croaked out, it being so hard to focus when you touched him so gently.

"Perfection. I'll see you then, love bug~" you cooed to him boldly. You threw him a wink before sliding past the other monsters and heading out the door.

"See y'all later!" You called out, your back to them but the smile obvious in your voice.

"Wow..." Doc muttered. His tone of voice was absolutely lovesick as he leaned against the couch, weak at the knees. He definitely looked... Well- loved. His lab coat was unbuttoned completely and hung off of one shoulder, and his clothes were crumpled and out of place where he'd obviously been felt up by exploring hands. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve, cleaning off his spit-soaked lips. He chuckled, light, airy, and dreamy. He could still feel your handprints all over him, staining him and claiming him.

"Okay, intervention time," Link said, closing the door tightly behind him.

"Huh...?" Dr. Cockroach asked, visibly dazed. His eyes were glazed over, and he had a big, dumb grin on his face.

"Cut him some slack, Link!" Susan exclaimed.

"Absolutely not. That guy can NOT be trusted," Link argued.

"Oh. My. God." Susan realized. "You ARE jealous!"

"I am NOT jealous!" Link scolded

"You just can't see it because you used to be human!"

Susan's face fell, disappointment apparent in her expression.

“I- I mean-,” Link tried to back pedal. “Ugh, okay! I’ll PROVE IT!”

And with that, Link stomped out of the room, determined to figure out just what the deal was with you.

“I’m NOT jealous…” Link thought to himself as he walked through the halls of Area Fifty-Something. He could feel something stirring in his heart, though. Something that didn’t make him feel good. It hurt. Maybe he really WAS just lonely.

Chapter Text

Link wasn't the smartest guy in the world, but he wasn't an idiot either. He had until 5pm to try and find SOMETHING about you, before what he only assumed was your first OFFICIAL date with Dr. Cockroach was. Luckily for him, the password to the employee data- base was "Password" so it didn't take very long to hack into. On top of that, the security guard who was supposed to be monitoring the database, as well as the security office as a whole, was fast asleep at his station. He scrubbed through the database as quickly as he possibly could, looking up your name to find more information to search to find even more information. As he looked, he didn't find anything too off at first. But then, he started to find...

Inconsistencies.

Which only further served to make him feel vindicated, proven right. He kept pushing, finding mismatched information such as you having what appeared to be multiple conflicting first names, incorrect sex markers, and multiple expired IDs that looked nothing like you but were still marked with your social security number and employee ID number. He glanced at the clock on the computer. 4:45pm... he had 15 minutes left. He quickly printed out what he found, gathered the loose papers into his arms, and was about to leave the room to go on a wild goose chase to find the two of you when his eyes fell on the security camera set up.

"Perfect," he thought to himself as he scanned over the monitors until he saw you, standing outside Exit A, obviously waiting. He just had to make it there before Doc did. He was about to split this whole operation wide open.
He rushed through the halls of Area Fifty-Something, making his way to Exit A. He couldn't believe his luck; he found everything he needed and knew exactly where you were. This was going to be perfect. He was going to be vindicated after Susan had been won over by you. He was moving so damn fast that by the time he reached Exit A, he practically crashed into you.

"Jesus!" You exclaimed as you dodge Link, "What on Earth are you doing?"

"You!" Link cried out, "I know what you are."

Suddenly, a look of horror crossed your face. It washed over your entire body like a wave, and Link knew he had caught you red-handed.

"You're not who you say you are." Link practically threatened.

"And WHO do you think he is?" Came a voice from down the hall. The two of you turned, coming face to face with Dr. Cockroach.

"I- I don't know for certain," Link said, "probably some kind of, like, secret agent or something. Just look at this."

He shoved the papers into Doc's arms, both of you watching as Doc scanned them with a discerning look on his face.

"(Y/n)? What is this?" Dr. Cockroach asked, his tone unreadable. Link thought for certain he had you, he'd caught you in your lies, and you were fucking with one of his best friends.

"Doc... I-..." You trailed off, looking uncertain. "I wanted to tell you. It- it's... actually why I wanted to meet up with you." You inhaled deeply before exhaling even harder as the two men watched with bated breath.

"I'm transgender. I... I know you like me. You're not very good at hiding it. And I just... Wanted you to know before we went on a real date together... I know it can be... kind of a turn off for some guys..." You said, sadness ripe in your voice.

"What." Link said, blunt as can be. This was... Not what he was expecting. He couldn't even help but feel bad. You just looked so... Sad. Like you were waiting for rejection.

"I'm transgender," You said again, chuckling, "So yeah, if you wanna have sex with me, it'll be a little different..."

Yeah, you definitely joked to try and relieve tension.

Dr. Cockroach couldn't help but laugh, "Oh, my dear, is that it?" He said, his voice as light as the air itself.

You gritted your teeth so intensely both of the monsters watching you could hear it, like two stones grinding together, "Yeah..."

Doc took one of your hands in his. Yours were perfect in his, to him, it felt like you two were meant to slot in together. Like two puzzle pieces.

"Would you like to go on a proper date with me? Right now?" He asked you.

Doc had come to know you as a relatively put together person. Seemingly confident and smooth. But at his question, you seemed to melt like ice cream in the summer sun.

You laughed just a tad, joy bubbling out of you, "Y- yeah!"

Doc felt you squeeze his hand with yours, strong but soft. You were both smiling as he turned to his good friend, Link.

"Do you have something to say?" Doc asked, trying to lead Link to what he thought was the right conclusion. Link sighed, "Yeah. I do," he reached out and put a hand on your shoulder. "I'm sorry I misjudged you."

"Apology gladly accepted," you said, all the tension having seemed to fade away off of you. "I appreciate you looking out for him. It’s good to know Doc has such good friends."

As Link watched the two of you walk off, hand in hand, talking in laughing, he couldn't help but think to himself, "I guess he's not so bad after all."