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Rumi padded silently into the bathroom, a soft click sounding when she closed the door. She leaned back against it, exhaling heavily. Her shoes were kicked off to the side, jacket shrugged off and tossed onto the counter. She ran a hand along her arm, her patterns shimmering orange. Stress. That’s what caused that color. They were brighter on her torso, or at least the part of it that her crop top displayed.
It’s why she was wearing the jacket. Mira and Zoey had started picking up on the fact her patterns lit up different colors, and that it was because of her emotions. And didn’t want—didn’t need—them worrying over her.
They liked them. The patterns. Rumi couldn’t fathom why. They were evidence that she was a mistake. Something that shouldn’t have been, but was anyway.
She pushed off the door, forcing her limbs to work. Makeup wipes pulled from the drawer, rubbed along her face until everything pulled off. She looked even more exhausted without it, the patterns on her face visible and betraying the beauty she’d had before.
A tear slipped unbidden down her face. She wiped it off with too much force. Crying wasn’t going to fix things. She just needed to sleep, and then everything would be okay. She can ignore it until then.
A knock cut through her thoughts. Two soft raps—it was Zoey at the door. Rumi paused, her eyes flashing orange.
“루미?” Zoey called. The language switch wasn’t lost on her. Zoey spoke Korean when she knew Rumi was low. She knew it was softer on her than English.
“Come in,” Rumi mumbled. She didn’t want to say it, but her vocal cords betrayed her. For a minute, it seemed Zoey didn’t hear her, and Rumi didn’t want her to.
She was fine with that, but the door was pushed open as if out of spite. Zoey stepped in, her expression soft. Sympathetic. Like Rumi needed someone to fuss over her. (She didn’t. She’s fine on her own.)
“괜찮아, baby?” she asked, reaching out to touch Rumi’s shoulder.
“Yeah, I’m okay. Just tired.”
Rumi could see Mira’s reflection in the mirror. She was sitting on the bed, pretending to not be paying attention, but Rumi knew better. Mira was always listening, always observing. She knew when Rumi was cracking, and she knew when Zoey would try to glue the pieces back together.
“You’re sure? ‘Cause, like, it’s okay if you’re not. Mira and I just wanna make sure you’re alright,” Zoey stepped closer, wrapping her arms around Rumi’s waist from behind, pressing her forehead between her shoulderblades.
“Mira’s not even in here. She’s just eavesdropping like usual,” Rumi muttered. “I’m okay, Zoey.”
“I heard that,” Mira said, looking up from her phone. Rumi groaned, her patterns flashing bright purple for a fraction of a second. Rumi felt Zoey tense, but she didn’t say anything. Her breath caught, stuttered. Rumi knew what that meant.
“Really, though, we’re just checking. Not to be pushy or anything, but you’re really sure you’re alright? You’re just a little distant, is all. We’re worried.”
Rumi felt it. A thrum of energy in her chest, a sharp stinging behind her eyes. She stepped to the side, yanking herself out of Zoey’s soft hold. She couldn’t stop the explosion.
“I said I’m fine!”
It wasn’t spoken. It was snarled—deep, angry. It hurt her throat, made her heartbeat speed up. Too quick. Quicker than a human could survive. Pounding out of her chest. The Honmoon flickered in her periphery. Blood roared in her ears. Zoey’s eyes widened. Rumi could hear two heartbeats, could smell anxiety in the air. Mira stood up. Rumi’s eyes burned. A glance at the mirror showed them cat-like. Narrow slits, pulsating orange. Her patterns flashed magenta.
Zoey stepped closer. Rumi bared her teeth, fangs scratching her lips. Her arms came up. Not to attack—she’d never do that to either of her girls—but to defend. Her nails—claws? They felt like claws—dug into her palms.
“Zo.”
Rumi’s head snapped to the sound. Mira was closer. Too close. Not close enough. She made a gesture at Zoey. Jerked her head toward Rumi. Like they’d fucking practiced this or something.
Mira stepped closer, her arms out. Palms displayed. Stood next to Zoey. Zoey reached out. Rumi growled, teeth still bared. The sound hung in the air, low and dangerous. The smell was overwhelming. The room reeked of tension and concern. Zoey pulled back. Nudged Mira.
So Mira reached out and grabbed Rumi’s wrist. She growled, but Mira didn’t let go.
“Rumi. Breathe.”
Stupid. She always breathes. Why tell her to?
“Yeah, there you go. Easy, right?”
Rumi blinked, her eyes no longer burning. Rationality kicked in. She jerked away. Her patterns turned dark green, tinged with electric green. That’s new, she thought briefly, before her back hit the wall. She didn’t even know she’d been backing up. Her legs gave out, and she sank to the floor, eyes stinging for an entirely different reason now.
Zoey was first to sit beside her, reaching out to put a hand on her leg. Mira followed, but didn’t touch. Just watched. Observed.
“I’m sorry,” Rumi said, avoiding her girlfriends’ eyes. “I didn’t— I didn’t mean to.”
“Rumi..” Zoey started, her expression painfully sympathetic. Rumi could smell her hesitancy in the air. She could hear Mira’s calm in her heartbeat.
“It’s not your fault. You’re overwhelmed. We get it. After everything,” Mira glanced at Zoey before looking back at Rumi, “we all are. Shit’s tough.”
“Yeah! We just need to relax a little! Talk about what’s bothering us, you know, and process what’s happened. And maybe give each other some kisses. Right?”
Zoey spoke quickly, but with a rhythm that made it sound like she was singing without actually singing. Mira chuckled, but she kept her attention on Rumi.
“Do you need anything?” she asked with a softness that felt like a wooden stake to the heart.
Rumi choked back a sob. She hid her face in her hands, but Mira pulled her into her lap instead. Rumi clung to her jacket, crying into her shoulder. Zoey wrapped an arm around the both of them, rubbing Rumi’s back comfortingly.
“I’m sorry I growled at you. Both of you. I just— I didn’t know how to— to react, and it— I almost hurt you, Zo, Mir. What if I hadn’t been able to...”
She trailed off. The unspoken words hung between the three of them. They knew what she meant. She knew what it meant if she did lose control.
“Rumi,” Mira called gently. Rumi didn’t lift her head from her girlfriend’s shoulder. “Rumi, baby, look at me.”
She looked up. Mira pushed a stray hair out of Rumi’s face. “You don’t have to apologize. We were pushy. But you don’t like talking about your feelings, so we have to be. Tell us next time, before you get to this point.”
Rumi nodded. Zoey smiled softly, but Rumi’s returned smile wasn’t nearly as genuine. It felt soul-crushing.
“You promise? ‘Cause I think you need 키스, but I’m not gonna give ‘em until you promise us you’ll talk. We care about you, Rumi. A lot. Like, so much that I think my heart’s gonna explode sometimes when I think about how much I care about you—”
“Okay, Zoey, I get it,” Rumi cut off Zoey’s rambling. “I promise I’ll talk.”
Silence fell. Mira pressed a gentle kiss into Rumi’s hair, running her fingers through it soothingly. Rumi sniffled occasionally, her chest still hurting from the human-level heart attack and demon growling.
“Besides, the growling was sorta cool. I guess. Sounded like a tiger,” Mira spoke with a shrug. Like she’d known Rumi was just thinking about it. She kept her gaze trained on the floor. “I wouldn’t mind if you did it again.”
“Tiger Rumi!” Zoey gasped suddenly, pumping her fist in the air. “Tiger Ru, tiger Ru, tiger Ru!”
Rumi flinched at Zoey’s bracelets jingling. The sound ground into her skull, louder than she’d expected. If she’d expected it at all.
“Tiger? I’m not a tiger,” Rumi said, eyeing Zoey warily, not wanting to be startled by her movements again.
Mira took hold of her chin, kissing her gently. She slid her tongue into Rumi’s mouth, swiping it over her fangs. Rumi damn near whimpered into the kiss, not expecting something so forward in this moment.
“Hey! No fair! 나 먼저 키스하고 싶은데!” Zoey complained, interrupting the moment.
“Yeah, fangs. Definitely a tiger,” Mira shrugged when she pulled away. “Don’t know what to tell you, Rumi.”
Zoey leaned in, planting firm kisses all over Rumi’s face. Rumi couldn’t help but giggle—it sorta tickled, but it also felt nice to know they still loved her after she...had an outburst like that.
“She’s glowing,” Mira commented. Zoey paused her kissing to stare at the pink lighting up Rumi’s body. Mira ghosted her fingers up Rumi’s side, laughing softly when the patterns’ color responded by ebbing and flowing around the touch.
“Okay, okay, enough kisses,” Rumi grumbled, swatting lightly at Zoey’s face and Mira’s hand. “I’m still recovering from my, like, demonic meltdown.”
“That’s exactly why you get bonus kisses!!” Zoey insisted, kissing Rumi’s nose just about a million more times.
“Her eyes are pink, Zo, I think that’s enough kisses,” Mira said, amusement plain in her tone. Rumi didn’t know her eyes could change colors like her patterns, but Mira didn’t seem fazed.
–·𖹭·–
Rumi sank into the bedsheets, her head rested in the crook of Mira’s neck and Zoey playing big spoon behind her. Zoey was playing with the hem of Rumi’s pajama shirt, while Mira was playing with Rumi’s hair.
Mira scratched Rumi’s head, making the shorter girl purr. Zoey gasped like it was the most adorable thing she’d ever heard.
”...I’m still not a tiger,” Rumi grumbled, her chest rumbling as she purred, betraying anything the statement might’ve held.
Mira mumbled her disagreement. Zoey giggled.
“I’m not!”
“Sure, baby tiger.” Zoey said, punctuating it with a soft “roar!”.
Rumi didn’t make a retort this time. She let herself be held, and she let herself purr. The room glowed a soft pink thanks to her patterns, but she didn’t think about trying to cover them up. She only cared about Mira and Zoey, and they loved her. Patterns and all.
She was going to let her jagged edges meet the light instead.