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June Geddes bumped up and down as the Funfair sped down Pitlaws streets. She glanced at her son seeing him stare straight ahead, unblinking. The Funfair was leaving Pitlaw in a hurry, singed but undefeated. A boy with a grin that took up half his whole face had a arm slung around her son, whispering in his ear and giggling. He had a broken tooth, but it did not make his smile any less joyful. June wondered if the people at the Funfair ever went to the doctor, or if they just traipsed about with broken teeth and bones, blood and guts spilling everywhere. They sped past the pub and she braced herself for the scorching glares of the menfolk, but their heads were all bowed and they were nearly drowning in their drink. For shame or for grief she wondered. She felt a hand grab hers and sees the big sad eyes of her son. She scoots closer and pats him on the knee. The boy with the broken tooth slips his arm away and grabs Derek's other hand. Mother and son lean against each other, and the long road stretches into the distance.
June was neither mystic not witch. She could not tell the future or curl it round her arm, like a stagehand with an electric cord or charmer with a snake. She knew it not and knew that it would bend and shape her.
...
June Geddes is a woman very good at carrying on. She has that iron spine and soft face made to comfort those with talons dug into her flesh. She is very good at making herself small and pretending everything is all right.
So June is darning socks in the little caravan she and far to many others are cramped in, but no right now. Now she is alone, and she pretends that the sounds of the funfair are the radio. She is darning her sons socks while he is away at school, he husband will be home soon. Like the normal day it is the thought fills her with dread. Boyd, Boyd, Boyd, Boyd. She pretends that Derek's smile is because of that wild boy with the missing tooth, and not the absence of his father. She pretends the lightness in her chest is the sea air and not the absence of the heavy wet blanket of beer breath and male stink. The men of the Freakslaw don't stink like that, they are perfumed and sharp and coated in red, even as the glamour of the Freakslaw fades as the road wears on. The people that were stolen away drift in a daze. Euan trails in Gretchen's shadow doggedly and adoring. Lesley of the meat counter has shaved her head and with that red lipstick her smile looks like a open wound. she struts around and her eyes sparkle in a way they never did. Shona laughs and braids her beaus hair, and by god does he have a lot of it. June snorts to herself at that. a hairdresser and a werewolf. she sets down the sock and doubles over on herself. her laughs morph into sobs and she feels the caravan shake with it. She watches the Freakslaw and cannot stop herself from gasping and guffawing, taken aback. She watches Gretchen and The Pin Gal, Miss Maria and Nancy and cannot conceive of them. She cannot be herself without apology and shrinks from them. She sits on her hands, to keep from grabbing at that feeling in her chest. the warmth and the light she sees glittering in her sons eyes.
June spent so long surviving and tucking all the parts of her that were too much back and under and away. She feels that she cannot change without breaking.
...
June Geddes was getting restless. The Funfair was far away from Pitlaw and getting farther. Her son was off somewhere galavanting with Zed and Nancy, the boy with the broken tooth and the girl who looked like a rockstar in her red jumpsuit. All wild hair and glitter and danger. June suddenly missed her youth. Her and Shona gallivanting about, stealing lipstick from the drugstore and trying it on in the mirror of the train bathroom. She was wild, the thrum of a motorcycle against her thighs and she laughed and refused to look back. Then there was Boyd and She lived vicariously through Shona, cooped up and docile. She was no longer wild. A mother could not be wild. She wanders, looking around. The caravans and trucks lean against each other forming a wall of protection. The Freakslaw, then the world. She wanders to Gloria the Tellers caravan. The woman Perches on the balls of her feet, barefoot. The cuffs of her velvet suit, arms and legs caked in mud. Her top hat slides to the side, teetering as she watches June approach. She does not get up. June Gathers up her skirt, and shivers as the cold air caresses her. She debates between decency and cleanliness and keeps the skirt in a knot gathered on her knees. Gloria wordlessly hands her the cigarette and June takes a drag, hesitantly and stifles a cough. Gloria's wide webbed hand slaps her back.
"Come for a fortune dearie?"
"No, I don't think so."
Gloria hums and takes a sip out of the jam jar balanced on her knee.
"I remember, once. Shona dragged me to a psychic we were young."
Gloria tilts her head, and June pauses, watching the top hat with concern. June takes a breath and continues.
"She was so excited to know her future, to peer behind the curtain. I wouldn't, couldn't."
June takes another drag of the cigarette, more confident now. recalling smoking a joint, the first and only time. the feeling of being on top of the world, dizzy and sick with ecstasy.
"I don't think the future is mine to know. it's something that happens to you, no matter what you do."
Gloria stares at her, and takes the cigarette back. June watches as Glorias candy red lips wrap around the cigarette and she blows out a motorcycle, and a peacock and watches them dance around June's head and disparate.
"there was a girl, who came to me for a fortune who was so sure of her future. The future doesn't like people who are sure, who decide what it is and will be. But June, a person who abandons themselves to the whims of fate, fate grows quickly bored. they stagnate, fall into wagon tracks so deep they can't move."
Gloria grabs June's face and wrenches her forward. Their foreheads bang against each other and their noses crunch.
"Who are you June? What are you? I think you've forgotten. You let yourself forget under the shadow of a miserable husk of a man."
Gloria hisses her words, her nails digging into Junes face. June was once a girl, once yanked hair and hissed insults and she knew this game. She grabbed Gloria hair, reeled back and broke Glorias nose against her fist. Gloria brought her webbed fingers to her nose, and blood pooled in them, trapped in a bowl of skin. She smiles wide, and blood and lipstick mix. June grasped at her forehead and leans against the wood of the caravan, gasping. she ducks down and grabs under Glorias arms, pushing open the caravan and dragging her inside.
"Do you have a first aid kit? Gloria!"
June trips over silk and bumps into altars looking around desperately in the chaos of the witches living place.
"ib in the cabinet." Gloria mumbles, grabbing at her face. in one quick motion she snaps her nose back into place with a sickening crunch.
June yelps and rushes over, small metal tin in hand. Gloria lets her bandage her face, staring up at her knowingly. Junes hands shake and she remembers something a long time ago. a boyfriend from out of town, a motorcycle and a bad attitude. he would get into fights and drag himself to her, she would patch him up in some nasty bathroom and cling to him as his friends screeched and hooted no matter who won. She remembered watching him fight, blood and fists flying. She remembered looking up at him and aching for something. For the look in his eyes, for blood and the freedom to take what she wants.
Gloria sees it too. the specter of a young woman hungering for freedom and sating the hunger by living adjacent to it. She watches June clench her fists and the concern on her face doesn't quite match the hunger in her eyes.
...
The Pin Gal whistles like a blade on a whetstone, eyes glinting as she watches Derek dance around Zed. She remembered the boy shyly asking her to teach him to fight, to dance like she did that day outside the pub. He took to her lessons well, and she knew that in a real fight he would fare well. a malicious blow would not land and he would dance and dance. He dodged a false blow by Zed only to be tackled to the ground by Nancy. Who straddled him and twisted his nipple till he screamed. She dances away and he gets up, embarrassed but grinning. He bounced from foot to foot and lunges. Pin Gal sighed, twisting her head. June Geddes had her plump arms crossed with disapproval in her eyes. The Pin Gal leans over.
"He forgets he's bigger than her." She whispers conspiratorially.
"Should he be fighting?" June worries her hands and looks at The Pin Gal with worried eyes.
"He's happy as a clam." Her smile widens and her piercings grate against each other.
June softens, looking at her sons joy. She can smell sawdust but not blood. they wont fight like that today, there is no need for it. She closes her fists and thinks. Zed rolls to Derek's blind spot as he and Nancy dance. He creeps forward, lifting his knees high in pantomime. He reaches Nancy and Derek and pounces, catching Derek and they roll and roll. he pins him and Nancy grabs and tickles him. Derek screams and screams. He wriggles and screws his face up tight.
"Yield!"
"Yield!"
Nancy and Zed scream, feverish and high pitched.
"Never!" Derek gasps fruitlessly kicking at Nancy. His eyes lock with his mothers and he begs silently for intervention.
June sighs and lopes over, she grabs Nancy under her armpits and swings her in the air. Nancy kicks and screams as Derek manages to dislodge Zed and they tangle together again. Nancy squirms and wriggles and folds and shes gone. June gasps in disbelief as she scrubs dust from her eyes. Nancy lunges, and June catches her again. June throws her up in the air and catches her. Nancy screams, this time in delight. June giggles and throws her again. Such a light girl, so little. Such a loud girl, so big. June wraps her up in her arms and bites her.
"Oh I could just eat you up!"
"Noooooo." Nancy hisses.
"Put you into a meat grinder and make you into a pie!"
"Noooooo."
"No?"
Nancy burrows deeper into Junes arms and growls. June giggles and sets her down and stretches. She clutches her back and grimaces
"I'll be regretting that tomorrow." She smiles down at Nancy and Nancy glares.
She shivers and wiggles, pawing at her arms. She shakes herself free of whatever spell the woman cast on her. She remembers when she was little, so little. Gloria would bite her arms and threaten to dry her out into jerky, or put her into a stew. She hadn't been treated like a child in a very long time. She was disgusted and enthralled and she slunk away as June grouched about her back.
...
June Geddes was high as a fucking kite. The sun beat down and humidity leeched into every crevice. Gloria the Teller was slinging out fortunes while June nursed something fruity in the corner. Gloria had handed her the dregs of it and she had rummaged around in her cabinets to top it off. Gloria stood and stretched, the flow of people trickling off. She grabs Junes glass, sniffs it and takes a swig.
"You alright Junebug."
"aye. Shona gave me something." She smiles and sort of chewed on her tongue.
Gloria smiles big and shakes her head. She sees the ghost of the girl she used to be, the one he daughter is. taking good girls and breaking them. she watches Junes plump arms, wrapped tightly around herself.