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°˖✧~*♡*~✧˖°
Caleb could sleep through a lot of things, but your phone call was not one of them.
Living in a cramped dorm room with three other college-aged boys could be, quite simply, hell on Earth. Well… technically above Earth, since he was still stuck in the clouds up in Skyhaven while he finished his last year in the Deepspace Aviation Administration’s Aerospace Academy. But regardless, it wasn’t peaceful. His roommates always watching stupid prank videos too loudly, Gideon’s unfortunate habit of sleeptalking, paper-thin walls between him and the idiots next door, the morning alarms going off every other hour with his roommates’ hectic schedules, the occasional sneaky hook-ups behind nothing but the flimsy curtains that divided their bunk beds… Caleb had learned how to ignore it all.
Except for you. Never you.
It helped that he’d set your ringtone in his phone to your sweet voice; it was his personal siren song. He’d caught you singing in the shower some time ago and recorded it, another small way he could always carry you with him everywhere he went. No doubt you’d be furious if you found out—you weren’t exactly the most, ah, practiced singer—but Caleb wouldn’t change it for the world.
The minute he heard your voice calling out from underneath his pillow, he woke up, smiling sleepily to himself. It was a much better way to wake up than his usual alarm. The only thing that kept him from not picking up right away so he could listen to the ringtone a little longer was knowing that you would be left waiting on the other end.
When he saw what time it was, though, his smile sank into a churning tide of nausea rising in his stomach.
2 in the morning? Why would she be calling this late…?
He answered the phone, rubbing his eyes as he sat up in bed. “Y/N? Wha’s goin’ on?” he mumbled, words still slurred with sleep.
Somewhere above him on the top bunk, Gideon groaned. “Caleb, dude, it’s fucking late, man, shut the fuck up—”
Caleb was quick to punch the underside of the bunk bed, silencing him. He didn’t want to hear it from Gideon of all people. His friend grunted an audible oof, the force of Caleb’s honed muscles barely buffered by the thin mattress.
“Um… hi, Caleb, I’m sorry to wake you up… everything’s fine, don’t worry.”
Caleb knew instantly from how you spoke, all choked-up and unsteady, that everything was not fine.
And so he got out of bed, quick to slip on a hoodie and shorts, any traces of sleep vanquished from his body. Whatever was going on, he needed to fix it now. Best not to do it in this cramped space where his roommates might eavesdrop.
“Pipsqueak, you don’t sound fine. Tell me what’s going on. Do you need me to come to you?”
There was a long pause on the other end as Caleb grabbed his wallet off the nightstand, ready to leap into action.
“No, Caleb, I’m fine, I promise. I just… wanted to hear your voice.”
But the assurance stuttered in your throat again, obviously halted by tears.
Fuck, Caleb should’ve punched the underside of that mattress one more time, just to release some of his rising fear and fury. There was nothing that set his blood boiling faster than knowing you were in distress, and being separated by so much distance only made it worse. Something about higher altitudes making things boil faster or whatever his high school physics teachers had taught him, maybe.
He slipped out of the dorm room, slamming the door just a little bit before he made his way down the hall, if only to irritate Gideon for butting in.
“Tell me where you are, pips, I’ll come to you.”
“No, no, Caleb, that really isn’t necessary. I’m on my way home now anyway. I’ll be there faster than you could get to me. I don’t want to interrupt you anymore than I already am…”
Your attempts at reassuring him did the opposite. Why the fuck were you out at 2 in the morning? Sure, you were in your first year of college, but he didn’t think you were the partying type—not his sweet, innocent pipsqueak. He’d spent all of your shared younger teenage years protecting you from that kind of stuff. He thought he’d done enough to deter you from ever wanting to do that kind of thing, but clearly not.
Another pressing question was why you would ever think you were interrupting him by asking for his help. Who else would you turn to but him? He would drop everything for you, always, and he thought that you knew that.
It didn’t matter what you said. He was going to come to you, whether you liked it or not. He had to make sure he set things straight with you about where his priorities lay, and that was best done in person.
Exiting the dorm building, Caleb let the frosty high-altitude air imbue every inch of his lungs, as if it could act as a balm to his increasing panic. But focusing on the night air made him realize that not only was the moon not out tonight, but it was also cloudy, and that increased his stress tenfold. Not only were you out this late, but you were out this late in the complete dark with no moon or starlight to guide your way home. Fuck.
He began to make his way down the winding campus pathway to the nearest Coelum Express station; thank god the Protocore-powered anti-gravity train that connected Linkon City to Skyhaven ran 24/7, or he would’ve never applied to the Academy in the first place.
“Okay, well…” he started, trying to think of how best to get you to open up. You were prone to moments like these, where it was obvious you needed help, but were too shy to say what was really wrong. He would pry it out of you one way or another, but he wanted to see if he could get you comfortable enough to explain on your own volition first. “Why don’t you tell me about your night, then? Did you go out with friends?”
He tried to make it sound like he was just curious, making conversation for the sake of it, but really, he wanted to narrow down his suspect list for who had upset you.
“Yeah, I was out with the girls… they got invited to a frat party and decided to drag me with—”
That nearly stopped him in his tracks. He briefly pictured himself punching a tree, or a bush, or anything really, but he was quick to compose himself. He needed to get to you as soon as possible, and if he allowed his short temper to make him miss the next train, he would never forgive himself.
But the image of you in a frat house of all places… fuck, and the fact that you’d left on the brink of tears… it wasn’t painting a pretty picture.
“—please don’t be mad at me, Cay, I know you said not to go to things like that, but they insisted, and I thought it would be fun—”
“I’m not mad, pipsqueak,” he assured you, a damn lie, but it wasn’t you that he was mad at. “You’re in college now, I can’t stop you from living your life and having the college experience.” Though he sure wanted to, at least when it concerned other boys. “A pretty girl like you deserves to have fun, right? Was it fun, then? It doesn’t sound like it...”
Your long pause made Caleb focus on counting his breaths to keep from screaming from impatience. “Well… it was fun while the girls were with me, I guess. We danced for a while, did some karaoke, played a couple of games… but then they all started pairing off with the boys,” you said, voice turning threadier, whinier.
If this story was going where he feared it was, he’d have blood on his hands, arms, and legs by the end of the night.
“They were, you know, kissing and hooking up with whoever, having fun. But I just got left on the couch in the living room all alone! No one would even talk to me. None of the other girls, none of the guys, and… I left on my own. I didn’t want to just sit there and watch like a creep. I felt so awkward, Caleb! I was the only one not getting any attention!”
The fucking flood of relief that washed through him in that moment nearly swept him off his feet. He was absolutely thrilled to know that you were just being ignored by boys instead of the worst-case scenarios his brain had been coming up with, but he tried hard to keep his sigh of relief from being heard over the phone. You were still clearly upset, and he didn’t want you to feel mocked.
“...Cay? Are you still there?” you asked, sniffling.
Caleb ran a hand over his face, rubbing his jaw. “Yeah, pips, I’m here.” He finally made it to the train station. Lucky him, he only had to wait a couple of minutes for the next one to arrive, or he might’ve considered finding the nearest parachute and getting down to Linkon himself. “Was there a boy there that you were hoping to get attention from…?”
Again, he infused his tone with a false casualness that he wasn’t truly feeling. He was fishing for more information, fishing for the name of the boy he would need to… well, he wasn’t sure what he would do to the boy yet, but the cold, black jealousy that began to blacken his vision did not bode well for whoever it was.
“Well, no, no one specifically... but it would just be nice to feel wanted, you know?” Another surging tide of relief had Caleb relaxing a bit more, but your tears kept him from feeling completely at ease. Did you really not know how badly he wanted you…? “I wasn’t even the one invited to this party, the other girls were… they always are. Boys come up to them, give them their numbers, ask them on dates, hook up with them at parties…” The sob that you let out was small, but still enough to make Caleb’s heart feel like it was shattering. “I never get that kind of attention. Not in high school, not now. I’m starting to think I never will. Can you be honest with me, Caleb?”
Caleb clenched his fists, hating that the one thing you seemed to want right now—attention from other boys—would be the one thing that would drive him over the edge. Why can’t I be enough for her? “Always, pips.”
“Am I really so ugly that boys won’t even talk to me? I know my friends are super pretty, so I’m not surprised they have it so easy, but—”
“Y/N.”
He said your name so forcefully, with so much fevered passion, that you fell silent on the other end immediately. He only spoke that way when he was preparing to lecture you about something serious, which this clearly was to him.
“Y/N, I never want to hear those words come out of your mouth again. Do you understand me? Not even as a question.” Caleb implored, covering the mouthpiece of his phone as the train pulled into the station. He hopped on after scanning his boarding pass, a plan brewing in his mind that required you to not know what he was up to. Luckily, the Coelum Express was quiet this time of night, so once he took a seat on the nearly-empty vehicle, he could speak again without too much background noise. “You are not ugly. And it’s insulting that you would even say that. Have I not told you a million times you are the most beautiful girl in the world? My pretty, sweet pipsqueak? Are you implying that I’ve been lying to you our entire lives?”
“Well, no, but—”
“But what, pips?” he interrupted again, even more impassioned.
“You’re just saying that because you feel obligated to!” you insisted, voice pitching higher. “Never mind. Forget I said anything, Caleb. You probably have to get up early, so I should let you go.”
“Uh-uh, no way, pips. Get off this phone now, and I will track you down.” He neglected to let you know that he was already tracking you down. “This conversation isn’t done. I never say anything just because I feel obligated to, you should know that. You are beautiful, pips, and that fact is not reliant on my opinion, nor is it reliant on any amount of attention you may or may not be receiving from some stupid frat boys. Seriously, are they even catches themselves? I’m going to guess not if none of them caught your eye in the first place. Tell me, did someone say something to you to make you feel ugly?” The thought alone had his biceps flexing. He cracked his knuckles to release some of the pent-up tension.
“No, Caleb, I just… I just feel that way on my own.”
Caleb’s shoulders fell at that. It was good that no one was bullying you, but he so desperately wanted to find someone to blame for the way you were feeling. That way, he’d have someone to take his anger out on, but it was becoming more apparent by the minute that the only enemy to battle was your own self-doubt and lack of confidence. It was a much harder foe to defeat, one that couldn’t be punched or intimidated like he wished.
“It’s just… the little stuff adds up, you know? I’ve never been kissed. I’ve never even gotten flowers. Or chocolates, or love notes. No one has ever done anything romantic like that for me.”
Well, fuck, Caleb thought, knowing that wasn’t true. There were a few times you had received gifts like that from the boys at your high school; they’d left them on your front porch, taped them to your locker, sent them in the mail, but Caleb had always been quick to toss them before you received them. No way would he let some snot-nosed kid weasel his way into your life before he’d gotten a chance to tell you how he really felt.
Now, Caleb was wondering if the times he’d threatened those boys to leave you the fuck alone had somehow spread amongst your peers at college, too. Maybe that was why no one approached you, fearful of your ever-vigilant older not-brother that seemed to have too keen an interest in you.
On one hand, it pleased him to know his attempts at protecting you and keeping you for himself had worked. On the other hand, it devastated him to know that your tears might be more his fault than anything.
“Ahem,” Caleb said, swallowing down his guilt as his dark brows pulled tightly together. “That is verifiably not true. Are we choosing to forget that I’ve gotten you flowers and chocolates every year for the Qixi Festival? Never mind all the sweets I bring home, even when it isn’t a holiday.”
Your sigh was audible. “You know that doesn't count, Caleb. I’m talking romantically. You only do that in a… pitying-your-dumb-meimei kind of way.”
Caleb shut his eyes tightly, resisting the urge to start slamming his forehead against the window of the train as it descended into Linkon City.
Maybe at one point, he’d thought of you like a little sister. Not dumb, just… clueless sometimes. But for a long time now, you were more of his… clueless crush.
Nah. Crush wasn’t the right word.
Clueless soulmate.
What you said was a reminder of why he hadn’t been more direct about this in the past, though. If you thought that he saw you like a sister, then maybe you just saw him like a brother. And he’d convinced himself long ago that he’d rather stay quiet than risk losing the closeness of the relationship you currently had by asking for more.
He’d lived like that up until this point, but he was about ready to snap. Having to endure listening to you speak as if you were unattractive, unlovable, was going to be the Protocore that broke the wanderer’s back. The idea that he’d never done anything romantic for you would be laughable if it wasn’t so infuriating.
It was time to step his game up. Maybe you wouldn’t reciprocate his feelings, but… he needed to try. He needed you to know your options. And maybe he was a little full of himself, but he thought he was a hell of a lot better than some sweaty frat boy.
“Pips, I promise you… I guarantee you that you will get to have all the romantic experiences you could dream of someday, and I can only pray that it won’t have its beginnings in some nasty frat house. I hate that you’re crying because some unwashed, drunken, bum loser didn’t pick you to be his one-night stand. Don’t you think you deserve better than that?”
“I’ll take what I can get at this point, to be honest,” you replied, voice heavy with shame. “I don’t think a girl like me gets to be picky.”
That time, he really did slam his head against the window in frustration.
He had so much to say to you, but he didn’t want to do it over the phone. If he was going to prove just how loveable you were, how truly beautiful you were, by finally offering the confession he’d wanted to give you for so long now… then he was going to do it the right way, face to face. He clenched his fist at his side, trying to restrain the words he so desperately wanted to say so that he could save them for the right moment.
Soon. The train would arrive soon.
“I know it’s probably hard for you to understand, since you’re neck-deep in fangirls waiting on the tarmac at the Academy every day—”
Oh, you silly, silly girl, Caleb thought, pinching the bridge of his nose. You’d forgotten the scheme of pretending to be his girlfriend so those girls would leave him alone so soon, huh?
Maybe he shouldn’t have asked you to just pretend…
“—so you don’t know anything other than having your pick of every girl you could possibly want—”
Every girl except the one I need.
“—but it’s really hard, Caleb. It’s hard feeling like the least wanted girl in the room.”
I won’t let you feel that way for long, pipsqueak, I swear. I’ll stop being a coward.
Caleb chewed his lips, peeling back a bit of dry skin and then cursing when he tasted blood. Aw, hell. Now wasn’t the time to fuck up his lips, not when he was planning on…
He rubbed his temples, forcing the panicked thoughts to the side. “Pips, have you considered that the only reason people don’t approach you is because you’re too beautiful?”
You scoffed, but he didn’t give you time to refute him.
“I’m serious, Y/N. You’re not the only one who struggles with self-confidence.” I would know, he thought, laughing silently to himself. Even though he was generally super confident, considered one of the most popular guys at the Academy, and yes, frequently approached by the girls there, he still struggled with how he saw himself… especially when he wondered how you might see him. “Maybe those guys at the party all thought you were the most likable, most gorgeous girl in the room, but were too scared to approach you. Have you… have you ever tried to approach them instead?”
“Ha-ha,” you said, the dry, mocking laugh obviously one you had learned from him. “You know me, Caleb. Of course I haven’t. The girls had to beg me to even leave the house in the first place. I don’t have the guts for that.”
Another sigh of relief. “Well, then… maybe you have your answer. Sometimes, beautiful girls need to be the ones to make the first move. Give it a try before you start declaring yourself unlovable.”
It seemed like the right advice to give, but he hated that he was giving it to you, encouraging you to make a move on anyone else but him. If he could just get to your place first before you had a chance to practice his advice, though, then maybe he could avert that crisis.
He shook his head as if to clear it and focused instead on teasing you.
“And if that still doesn’t work, I dunno, pips. Maybe you’re hopeless, after all.”
“Caleb!”
He giggled quietly, pleased to hear your irritation replacing the tears. “Oh, hush, I’m only teasing. If you approach someone and they turn you down, consider it practice for the next time. You can’t let a single rejection discourage you.” Though he certainly would be discouraged—no, heartbroken—if you turned him down when he got there…
As the train descended into Linkon City, Caleb tried to lighten the mood by distracting you with tales of all the times Gideon had been turned down by the girls at his school. Objectively speaking, he was a handsome, smart, talented, charming guy (though Caleb would never admit that to his face), yet he still faced rejection, just like everybody else. He hoped that it would help get it through your thick skull that finding love took a little patience sometimes.
Caleb was being a hypocrite, though, because he was completely out of his own patience. He had to hold himself back from using his gravity evol to speed up the train’s descent into Linkon.
When the train finally pulled into the station, he really did use his evol to pry the doors open, unable to wait any longer. He all but vaulted from the vehicle, taking the familiar route to your apartment like a bloodhound on the hunt. To his dismay, the flower shop that he had planned on stopping by was closed—didn’t they know that a man might need to buy an emergency bouquet at 2 in the morning?—but that didn’t stop him from covertly stealing a hefty bundle of flowers out of people’s gardens as he continued his journey. It was no professional floral arrangement, but he tried his best, making sure to gather only the freshest blooms in your favorite colors.
All the while, he kept you distracted on the phone, letting the conversation flow freely. He asked you if you’d found any new favorite restaurants, how your classes were going, what your new friends were like. He had to keep the edge out of his voice for that last question; he didn’t like the idea of you being around girls who made you feel so insecure, who would ditch you for a bunch of dudes and leave you to walk home alone in the middle of the night. He asked if you were staying safe on your walk, and you were quick to assure him that you’d just made it home.
When he got to the corner store at the end of your street—thank the heavens above that it was open, or he would’ve broken the glass to get in—he made an excuse about fetching a glass of water so that he could grab your favorite chocolates without you hearing the cashier. It was no heart-shaped box with a pretty red ribbon tied around it, but he would make sure what he said when he got to your place left no room for confusion about how he felt.
“Hey, pips, I actually have a question for you,” Caleb said during a lull in the conversation as he finally made it to your apartment. He fished out the spare key you’d given him to get into the locked lobby.
“Shoot.”
“I, um… I’ve been struggling to tell this girl how I feel, actually. I’ve been feeling a little insecure myself. Guess we’re kinda alike, after all, huh? Could you maybe give me some advice?”
The other end of the line went quiet for so long that Caleb wondered if you had fallen asleep.
“Pips?”
“Yeah, sorry, I heard you. I just… I don’t know what to say. I’m the last person you should be asking for advice, you know.”
The hurt in your tone was hard to miss. And as terrible as it was, it made Caleb’s lips pull up into a smile. If you were jealous over the idea of him approaching some other girl… that was a good sign, right?
But that smile quickly fell again. Maybe Caleb was misreading it, and the hurt wasn’t jealousy at all. Maybe you were just upset to have this topic brought up again, a reminder of the shitty night you’d only just begun to forget.
“I actually think you’re the perfect person to ask, Y/N,” Caleb argued, trying to hold onto his resolve to go through with this as he stepped into the elevator. “I trust you more than anyone else. You’re the only person on this earth I feel like I can open up to completely. Who else could I possibly ask?”
You sighed, long and tired. “Okay… Well, tell me about her. What is she like?”
“For starters, she’s the most beautiful girl in the world,” he said, cheeks heating. Would you take that hint, or…?
“Mm, see? I knew you were lying earlier when you told me I’m the most beautiful girl in the world. It sounds like I’m only the second most beautiful. Guess I can’t trust what you say, huh, gege?”
Caleb let out a quiet giggle. Just so, so clueless.
“What else? A pretty face surely can’t be the only thing that made you gravitate towards her…”
“No, of course not. I’m not that shallow,” Caleb said, fidgeting with the chaotic array of flowers so that it didn’t look like a heap of yard trimmings. “She’s also funny. Kind. Most of the time, that is. Not so much when she gets mad, and I do have a tendency of pissing her off, but I think she secretly likes how annoying I am. And she’s smart… about most things. Sometimes, she’s completely oblivious to what’s right in front of her. But…”
When the elevator doors opened on your floor, Caleb felt his hands begin to tremble. This was it.
“...I think she’s the one. Well, I know she’s the one, for me at least. But I’m not sure if she feels the same way. Sometimes, I think she gives me little hints, but other times I’m not so sure. I’m worried she just sees me like a… like a friend. Do you think I should tell her how I feel?”
Caleb swore he could hear you chewing on your lip through the phone. “Whoever she is, she’s a real lucky girl, Caleb. She’ll be the envy of your whole school. Why wouldn’t you go for it? Like you said, the worst that can happen is you get rejected. Even if that happens, at least you won’t be anywhere near Gideon’s rejection record, right? He’ll have that high score for quite a while before you beat him…”
That time, Caleb was certain that he hadn’t misheard the jealousy in your voice. Even the way you forced yourself to tease him despite whatever negative thoughts were brewing was familiar; it was a habit that you’d surely picked up from him. But whether or not that jealousy was because the girl was receiving Caleb’s attention, or just any boy’s attention at all, remained to be seen.
When he made it to your apartment at the end of the hall, he lowered his voice, not wanting to ruin the surprise. His heart was trying to break out of his damn chest, like it wanted to break down the door itself, and he prayed that the thudding wouldn’t make his voice too shaky.
“So you think I should just go for it, then? My pride be damned if she turns me down?”
“I don’t see how anyone could turn you down, Cay. You’re the perfect catch. And if she doesn’t see that, then maybe she’s more oblivious than you thought, and you shouldn’t waste your time on such a dumb girl.”
“Yeah, you’re right, you’re right,” Caleb said, giving his hair a final finger-combing, slicking back his sharp-as-swords eyebrows, and straightening his hoodie strings (maybe he should’ve dressed up a little better for this moment, but it was too late now). “Hey, I’m gonna go, I think I need to tell her right now, pips. No better time than the present, right? Good luck with everything. I’ll see you soon, though!”
“Oh, okay—”
He hung up the phone before giving a proper goodbye, biting his lip to hold back the laughter.
And then he knocked on your front door, loud enough that you could hear from your bedroom.
If he thought he was impatient before, it was nothing compared to now. He counted the seconds like eras, fidgeting the longer time went on without the door cracking open. Did you not hear him? Were you not actually at your apartment? Had you crashed at a friend’s place instead, or had you maybe gone back to your shared childhood home to stay with Josephine? Oh, no, and the way that he’d hung up so rudely, you probably wouldn’t even pick up the phone to let him explain—
He truly began to panic then, and some of the mangled, hand-plucked flowers fell from his sweaty palms onto your doormat. He dropped to his knees to pick them back up—no, no, no, she deserves better than this—only to have the door finally creak open right at the most inopportune moment.
Caleb scrambled to get up, eyes wide, face flushed. You were so fucking beautiful, enough so that the breath was knocked from his lungs. Any last vestiges of his composure fled back up the hall, down the elevator, and out the front door as he took you in. How could he be so stunned by you every single time he returned to your side? It didn’t matter that you were just in your pajamas, your hair messy, your makeup smudged; it still rattled him every time he saw you. God dammit, he’d grown up with you. There was no reason he should still be this unprepared for how you pulled him in like the universe’s strongest black hole. He had an entire train ride to prepare for this moment—years, really—and here he was, fucking it up already.
“Um… pipsqueak! Fuck. Here, these are for you,” he said, shoving the disfigured bouquet into your hands as your eyes went wide with shock. Oh no… were those… tears?! Maybe his ruse on the phone had worked a little too well… “And, uh, hold on…” He fished through his hoodie pocket, trying to locate the bars of chocolate he’d bought from the corner store. But why were they… squishy? Fuck! He thrust them into your hand regardless, desperate to salvage this moment. “These are for you, too! Now you can’t say no one ever did anything romantically for you, okay? Don’t forget it this time. And, uh, sorry they’re melted, I’m just, well, I’m kinda nervous. I’m sweating a bit, haha. Maybe pop them in the fridge before you eat them. Um…”
How in the world had his planned love confession turned into rambling about chocolate and sweat?!
“Caleb, what the hell are you doing here?!” you finally asked, and Caleb flinched at the hint of anger evident in your tone. “It’s almost 3 in the morning. Don’t you have a date you’re supposed to meet up with? Are you even going to be able to get to Skyhaven in time?”
He gave you a shaky smile in response. “I, uh, actually think I made it right on time…?” he tried, nervously scratching behind his ear.
But you still weren’t getting it. Your brows came together, your lips pouting out. You lifted your chin as if in annoyance, but Caleb knew you were just trying to keep those welling tears from spilling over. “Please don’t tell me she lives in the same building as me. I don’t need you rubbing it in my face that you can get girls so easily… at least let me get a boyfriend first so I don’t feel so left out.”
“Fuck, pips, you’re so…” Caleb groaned, running his fingers through his hair before gently shoving your shoulders. He pushed you inside the apartment and followed after you, shutting the door behind him. The last thing he needed was nosy neighbors hearing how badly he’d screwed this up, lest any of them get it in their heads that they could do better. Once inside, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath that did nothing to soothe him. “It’s you, Y/N! It’s you. I’m here for you.”
You didn’t respond for a torturously long moment.
I ruined it, I ruined it, I ruined it.
When he finally found the courage to open his eyes again, it was to find you absolutely dumbfounded, your pretty, plush lips parted in an O. No, no, don’t focus on that, Caleb, not yet, he ordered himself. The sight of those pretty lips combined with his pumping adrenaline made his cock stir far too easily in his shorts, and that was absolutely the last thing he needed right now, especially with how unrestricting the fabric of the shorts was—nothing would be hidden.
Come on, say what you’ve waited so long to say! The words were trying to burst out over the phone, why won’t they come out now?!
He cleared his throat, stepping closer to you so that he could grip your shoulders and center himself. “Pipsqueak… there is no other girl. There is only you. There’s only ever been you.” His amethyst-fire eyes darted between your own, searching for any sign that you reciprocated his feelings. “And I am horrified that you felt for even a second that no man would ever want you. I want you. I need you. I’ve needed you my whole life, and the only reason I haven’t said so was because I was terrified you would be disgusted with me.”
You still weren’t saying anything. Caleb gripped your shoulders even tighter, as if he could squeeze a response out of you; no dice, though, so he continued to ramble.
“Hearing you on the phone like that, though, pips… you’re killing me. I’ve held myself back for so long, thinking that maybe someday you’d start to recognize how I felt and show me you felt the same way, but now you’re looking in the wrong places even though I’ve been waiting right here this whole time and…”
His hands fell away from your shoulders, and he backed himself up against the door, forcing himself to put some distance between you two. He didn’t want to scare you, although that bridge might’ve already been crossed.
“Maybe I didn’t make it clear enough before. Or maybe I did, and you just didn’t want me like that, so you pretended not to notice. In which case, I’m sorry for ruining our friendship like this, but… I need to make sure you know exactly what your options are before you start chasing some dumbfucks at your school who don’t even know what your favorite colors are, what your favorite foods are, what brand of toothpaste you like. Who don’t know how to make you laugh, how to make you pout, how to bring out that pretty color in your cheeks. Because I do. And I think… I know I can do a whole lot more than that, too. Give me a chance, pips. I am begging you. I will get on my knees if I have to.”
Fuck, am I being too pathetic? Too desperate…?
The apartment was too silent. You still weren’t saying anything. Caleb bit his lip again, that torn part he’d ripped open earlier bleeding once more, the small raindrop of blood nothing compared to the blood spilling from his cracking heart into his rib cage.
He had half a mind to turn and run from this room before he had to listen to his worst nightmare come to life—you rejecting him.
Caleb buried his face in his hands. “Fuck. This was too much. I’m sorry. Just… take some time to think about it, okay? Call me if you want to talk about it... and if not, you don’t need to say anything, alright? We can pretend this never happened. I promise I won’t bring it up again, and we can go back to the way things were before, and—”
Your small hands wrapping gently around his wrists—so much smaller, they very nearly couldn’t wrap all the way around—was enough to break him from his rambling. You’d set the strangled flowers and melted chocolate down, giving him your full attention. You tugged Caleb’s hands away from his face, exposing his flushed cheeks, his pleading eyebrows, his quivering lower lip. You looked concerned; it was the same face you made when you saw a lost puppy running down the road all by itself.
“This isn’t a prank, right, gege?” you asked, voice small and timid.
“What?” That was the very last thing that Caleb had expected to come from your mouth. “Of course not. Y/N, do you really think I would—”
“Um, yes, I do, actually!” you spat back, your concerned, pitying look flipping into one of frustration in the blink of an eye. “Considering I just called you in the midst of a quarter-life crisis that no man would ever return my feelings—including you, you fucking meanie—and your response was to prank me into thinking you were meeting up with some other girl, yeah, I very much think you are capable of pranking me with a fake love confession—”
—including you, you fucking meanie—
—including you—
The words echoed in his brain so hard that it might’ve shattered his eardrums, because the rest of what you said was a blur.
Caleb’s lips fell open, staring at you blankly as he waited for your rant to end. When it finally did, your chest heaving and your cheeks heated into that beautiful, apple-red, he could only barely manage to whisper, “Do you really mean that?”
“Do I mean that you’re a big meanie? Of course I do, I’ve only said it a million times! Are you implying that I’ve been lying to you our entire lives?” you said, echoing his earlier words in a mocking, mimicking tone.
“No, pips.” Caleb finally came to his senses, stepping forward to gather you in his arms. He kept his head leaned back just enough so that he could take in every detail of your face as he made you repeat yourself. “Do you really mean that… that you have feelings for me?”
That was when you fell silent, your cheeks burning brighter. He wished he could buy the color in pigmented form just to keep it in a little glass bottle so he never had to go without it.
Your eyes darted away from him—so bold when you were angry, but so shy the minute he tried to cross this line.
But Caleb wasn’t having any of it. “Look at me, pips. Did you mean it?”
Slowly, you lifted your fluttering lashes up to him, trying to dash away those earlier tears. “Yes, Cay,” you whispered, voice cracking.
“So why were you trying to catch some other boy’s attention at a party earlier…?” Caleb asked. This time, it was his turn to look shot-through-the-heart, and you flinched at how potent the hurt was in his eyes.
“I… Caleb, you’re so popular!” you exclaimed, shaken. “You have a whole world worth of beautiful girls to pick from, why would you ever want me? I’d gotten so used to all your admirers throwing themselves at you, I just, I… I resigned myself to never thinking you’d even look my way! It’s not like you ever dropped any hints or anything!”
Caleb scoffed, flashing one of those sharp-edged smiles that instantly set your blood to boiling. You tried to pull away, thinking he was going to start mocking you, but he only held on tighter, threading his fingers into your hair at the back of your head so you couldn’t look anywhere but at him.
“Oh, I most certainly have dropped hints, missy,” he said, taking that scolding tone again. “Fuck, pips, you’re so cute when you’re clueless.”
You tried to pull away from him again, but it only resulted in him pulling you even closer and then spinning both of you so that he could cage you in against the door with his broad shoulders.
But it wasn’t a cage, not really. This was your home.
“I’d say you’re cute when you’re being a bully, but it wouldn’t be true,” you spat back, resorting to petty insults when you didn’t know how else to act, “because you’re just a big, ugly, stinky, jerk—”
And that was when Caleb pressed his smiling lips to yours, drinking down your insults like expensive liqueur, swallowing your shocked little grunt as a chaser.
To say he just about blacked out would be wrong, because he would remember every tiny detail of this moment for the rest of his life.
To say his heart stopped beating would just be untrue, because it was thundering a storm inside his chest.
To say the universe came to a standstill would just be too cliché.
But the moment was momentous. He would spend a lifetime trying to find the right words to describe the relief, the purest joy, the nectar of ripened love finally being tasted.
The kiss wasn’t like the ones described in storybooks. It was his first kiss… his very first kiss, and yours, messy and unpracticed. There were clashing teeth, bumping noses, colliding chins. It took time to ease into it, to gather the courage to delve past each other’s lips and deepen the kiss the way real kisses were meant to be shared. There were even a couple of moments just like the classic pedestrian face-off, where you both tried to angle your heads at the same time, only to block each other clumsily.
The first time it happened, something like panic flashed through your eyes, like you were worried that it would turn him off and make him regret finally crossing this line with you.
But Caleb was quick to reassure you by laughing it off and lovingly running his fingers over your waist before getting the angle right and kissing you once again.
The second time it happened, he took control and used the slightest bit of his evol to guide you in the right direction. That made you moan. All those years growing up, you would throw an absolute fit when he used his evol on you without permission, but the sound you made then made it very clear that it was more than okay now.
He’d wondered how your first kiss might go for so long, but he’d always thought he would be consumed by the feeling of it, not the taste. The feeling induced ecstasy, yes, soft and plush and hot, but fuck, that flavor. It tasted like a summer's wet dream come true. Now that he’d had you on his tongue, he’d never be able to get it out of his head. It was the sweetest, purest essence, finally his to claim as his own.
Caleb’s shaky, sweating hands fell down your waist, your hips, lower and lower, until his fingers were just underneath the hemline of the pajama shorts you wore. You pressed into it, the unpracticed seductive touch still enough to elicit delicious sounds from you. He swirled his fingertips in a deliberate pattern, tracing the word ‘MINE’ over and over on the flesh of your thighs.
He wanted that touch to stay branded on your skin forever.
When Caleb realized he was moments away from rutting against your leg like a dog, he pulled back. You were both panting, the shallow, hot breaths filling the small space between your heaving bodies.
“Am I going too fast?” Caleb asked, his voice husky. His gaze was glued to your lips, mesmerized by the shine and swell of them.
The intensity of his gaze made you glance away, made your hand’s hesitant exploration of his jaw and hair falter. “If… if it’s too fast for you, we can stop,” you mumbled back.
Caleb shook his head back and forth vigorously. “Mm, we won’t be stopping on my account, pips. I want everything you have to give me. Everything,” he urged, leaning into your palm to nuzzle it with his cheek just as you tried to pull it away. “But I don’t want to scare you. We don’t have to do anything if you aren’t ready. Tell me what you want.”
“I… I want more,” you spoke quietly, words almost inaudible. “As long as you don’t think I’m a bad kisser.”
“Hmm… I suppose this is the worst kiss I’ve ever had,” he said with a smirk, pretending to ponder just long enough for horror to flash through your eyes, “but only because this is the only kiss I’ve ever had. So, that also makes it the best.” Before you had time to start throwing insults at him again for his teasing, his lips crashed back into yours, magnetized by the unstoppable force of his passion.
And as his tongue met yours once more, he wound his arms around your legs and hoisted you up onto his body, relishing in the soft gasp that you gifted him directly into his mouth. He felt that gasp burn down his throat and stain his lungs in a shade he never wanted to get rid of.
He could’ve used his evol to make the process of carrying you a little easier, but he didn’t want to. He wanted to feel every ounce of your weight in his arms just as you were, gravity unaltered. With your legs wrapped around him, he carried you to the couch, stumbling a couple of times as he went. It brought forth a fit of the most delightful, effervescent giggles from you that made him feel downright giddy.
“Serves you right,” you snorted at him, and he gave you a big, bright, goofy smile in return.
He set you down on the couch cushions and knelt down on the floor before you, sliding his hands up your thighs and gently pushing them apart so he could crawl in between them. Even with him on the floor and you on the couch, he was tall enough to reach your mouth, no problem. He resumed the gentle lapping of his tongue against yours, continuing to learn how you liked to move against him and matching his caresses to yours.
He wanted to do it forever.
He wanted to do more than just kiss you forever.
Caleb’s hands crawled further up your thighs, running his thumbs in imperfect, nervous circles, the rest of his fingers pressing into the soft flesh like you might fade into nothing but a figment of his imagination if he didn’t hold on tight enough. He pulled you closer to the edge of the couch, relishing in the small burst of pain as your teeth grazed that place he’d bitten open on his lip earlier. He needed that pain—a reminder that this wasn’t a dream, that this wasn’t a fanciful hallucination that he would suddenly awaken from and be left heartbroken by.
He hooked his fingers into the waistband of your shorts, choosing his next words carefully. He opted to be vulnerable for you, hoping it would help you see that he was just as inexperienced and insecure as you, and that that was okay. “Promise me you won’t hate me if I’m not good at this, okay? If I don’t know how to touch you properly, tell me so I can get better.”
Your eyes widened, lips opening and closing before you spoke. “Caleb, I could never hate you.”
He laughed at that. “You’ve only said it a million times, pipsqueak. Should I not take your words at face value anymore?”
Your brows pushed back together, the shyness of your countenance fleeing in favor of irritation for a brief moment again, but it only made Caleb laugh harder. He distracted your irritation by pressing a gentle, closed-mouth kiss to your lips. I’ll never get sick of that.
When he leaned back once more, he gave your waistband a small tug so that you knew exactly what he wanted. “Now, if you would do me the honor of taking these off… I can show you how I’ve wanted to touch you for a long, long time now, Y/N.”
You chewed your lip, looking down at where he was kneeling between your legs, a man praying at his altar. “Only if you promise you won’t hate me for…”
“For what, sweetheart?”
You turned away, your words an incoherent mumble.
“I can’t hear you, baby. Don’t get all timid on me now.”
“For how I look, Caleb. If I’m not as pretty down there as you thought I would be—”
Caleb lifted one hand from the waistband of your shorts to grip your jaw, pulling you back to face him. It was his turn to express his full-blown irritation, furious at the idea that he would ever be so shallow as to hate you for what you looked like, as if your beauty wasn’t a gift in every way, no matter what shape it came in.
He didn’t need to see you naked yet to know that no matter how you looked, the sight would be seared into his brain as paradise on earth for the rest of his life.
“Did you not hear me earlier?” Using his strongest magnetic gaze to make sure you wouldn’t look away this time, he let go of your chin and hooked his thumb back into your waistband. This time, he didn’t wait for your permission to take the shorts off—he yanked them, using just enough of his evol to lift you off the couch and sneak them down your calves. It brought forth a squeak from your plush mouth, a sound that made him smirk. “You’re the most beautiful girl in the world, Y/N. Every inch of you. That isn’t just my opinion. It is a fact. I’ll repeat it as many times as I need to, but I wish you would learn it on your own, too. So quit being so damn insecure and have some confidence, please. If someone like you doesn’t know how beautiful she is, what chance do the rest of us have?”
Only when he was done giving his speech did he allow his eyes to trail lower to the little black panties you wore. And that ended up being the smart thing to do, because fuck, it was hard to think about anything other than his need for you as he caught sight of the wet patch seeping through the black fabric between your legs.
You squirmed under the intensity of his perusal, but he pressed his hands tightly against your inner thighs to keep you from closing your legs. He admired the color of your skin, the way the tufts of your cute little hairs peeked through the sides of the panties, the shadowy creases where your thighs met your hips while sitting, the stretch marks, all of it.
“Now take these off for me too, yeah, pips?” he urged as he nodded towards the panties, his voice dropping to a low, raspy octave. “Let me give her the same pep talk so you can get on the same damn page about how beautiful you both are.”
You hesitated, but he gave you time to gather your strength this time. Because he needed time to steady himself, too—he hadn’t even touched his cock, but it felt like he was moments away from cumming.
And when you finally lifted up to take those panties off as he said, he really did almost cum. Hot fluid leaked from his tip like it wanted to say hi, too.
Pep talk momentarily forgotten, Caleb’s mouth fell open as he stared. God, your cunt was so fucking pretty. She was glistening, flushed the same lovely color as your blushing cheeks, but more deeply pigmented, your clit swollen and throbbing already.
He wanted to kiss her. To taste her. Because if she was anything like the lips on your face, he would be addicted for life.
But he still had words he needed to say to her, so he needed to save his kisses for later.
“Caleb, you’re staring…”
“I sure am, sweetheart,” he said, not daring to even blink. “How could I not? She’s more gorgeous than any sunset I’ve ever seen. Prettier than every star in the sky.”
And with trembling fingers, he pressed his pointer finger to your pussy for the very first time.
“Mmm!” you cried out, even so small of a touch resonating deeply enough to make you buck off the couch.
He started his touch low on your pussy, gathering the slick moisture that dripped from your entrance with every throb before dragging it up, up, up to circle your puffy clit. You jerked back from the touch, the foreign feeling of a man’s hands on you like lightning to your nervous system, but Caleb didn’t retreat. He just waited for you to settle down before resuming the slow circles and strokes once more.
“How is that, baby?”
“Mmm… ‘s intense, Cay…” you slurred, already caught in the thrall of the feeling.
He smiled, looking up to take in your enraptured expression for just a moment before he went back to staring at that hot place he’d dreamed of for so long.
“You’re so pretty, pipsqueak. So, so pretty. She’s so pretty. You really thought I would hate this?” he asked, words earnest. “You silly girl. My silly, sweet, precious, pretty girl.”
And then he dragged that finger back down to your tight entrance, pressing it in slowly, relishing in the way your inner walls clamped up around his finger like they were welcoming an old friend. God, you were made for him, and your body knew it.
“Oh!” you gasped at the unfamiliar intrusion, but didn’t buck away from him that time. No, instead, you chased the feeling, thrusting your hips closer to the edge of the couch so that you could ride his single digit.
Caleb grinned, repeating the motion. With every long stroke of his fingers inside your weeping pussy, he could see the hesitation, the restraint melt from your body. He kept the rhythm up, intent on unraveling you.
“Promise me you’ll never go seeking out some other boy’s attention, okay?” Caleb rasped out, wishing it came out like an order, but it came out more like a desperate plea instead. “I’ve been here this whole time, pips. I always will be. You don’t need anybody else, alright? I’ll be anything you want. Anything you need. I’ll do whatever it takes. I promise. I promise, Y/N. So promise me you won’t break my heart by running off to some asshole who wouldn’t give you that same devotion.”
You bit your lip, hips quickly learning how to bounce a pleasurable rhythm against him. “I’m sorry, Caleb, I’m sorry. I promise, I promise, I promise,” you panted out, and the words pleased him so much that he gifted you a second finger between your pussy lips. “Fuck! Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, gege, I promise, I never wanted any of them anyway, I just wanted you—”
A third finger.
“Caleb!”
“I wish you’d spoken up sooner, pips,” Caleb said, his own hips jolting from where he knelt, wishing his too-loose shorts would provide more friction against his throbbing cock. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted this? How long I’ve waited?” His brows pulled together as he remembered all his nights of pent-up frustration, staring at your photos, watching you when you didn’t know he was looking, waking up from dreams and wishing they were real. “And you’ve just been thinking this whole time that you’re not the most stunning, most alluring woman to ever walk this earth? It’s absolutely unacceptable.”
He sat up on his knees and leaned forward enough that his lips just barely brushed yours, getting drunk on the breaths you let out. You made him feel so good, and he wanted to make you feel good, too. Better than good. He suddenly remembered a tip he’d learned online during one of the many nights he’d spent reading tutorials on how to touch a woman properly, just in case this moment ever came.
Might as well give it a try now…
Caleb curled his three fingers inward, pressing hard against your front walls as he picked up the pace of his strokes.
The effect was immediate.
Your body seized up around him, your cunt squeezing him, massaging and milking his fingers as if they could give him the hot load you so clearly wanted. His cock twitched and throbbed underneath the flimsy layer of his shorts, making the fabric bounce. He was fucking jealous of his own fingers, a thought that nearly made him laugh.
You started letting out little gasping, mewling noises that Caleb had half a mind to record for his new ringtone—but he wouldn’t, because his roommates back at the Academy absolutely did not deserve to hear such a beautiful song.
No, these sounds were for no one but him.
“Let your friends have all those stupid boys. They can have whoever they want, and it doesn’t matter, pipsqueak, because I’m yours,” he cooed to you through your orgasm, and god, the way your mouth parted open, the way your eyes went hazy and crosseyed as your climax reached new heights… he needed to cum, too. “I’m yours, sweetheart, always and forever.”
Now that he was sitting up, his cock was close enough to press against the edge of the couch. It wasn’t the friction he wanted, but he could make do, because as badly as he wanted to fuck you… he needed more time to prepare. He would make sure that moment was something out of a storybook, since he’d goofed this moment up with torn flowers, melted chocolate, and rambling words.
Though something about how this night had gone still felt right, even with all his mistakes. He wouldn’t change it for the world, not when this was the outcome. It felt like you two: honest, passionate, messy, and just a little chaotic.
He only had to thrust his hips against the couch cushions a few times before he was coming, too. The hot liquid got all over the inside of his shorts, falling out of the bottom of his pant leg, and splattering all over the carpet.
Caleb had jerked his cock plenty in his life, but this was unlike anything he’d ever experienced. Inhaling your sweet scent, the sweet taste of your saliva still permeating his tongue, the sight of you climaxing before him, that was all it took to bring this feeling to levels he hadn’t known were possible. He nuzzled his face tightly into your neck as he rode out his orgasm, as you rode out yours, as you both rode the high of those crashing waves together.
He bit down lightly on your neck, an assurance that yes, this was real, yes, you were here, and yes…
You were finally his.
“I love you, pips.”
°˖✧~*♡*~✧˖°