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hands to grip, hands to soothe

Summary:

What Kai Mutsumi didn’t realize was that for everything he kept locked up behind his lips, it seeped out through his hands.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

“Don’t worry, I'll keep your secret safe.”

Kai Mutsumi knew he was a trustworthy man. There was no doubting that. He hardly talked in the first place if it wasn’t rehearsal or a performance, the concept of small talk wholly unfamiliar past commenting on the weather. The relief coloring her face provides him a sense of satisfaction, Kai noting how her upper body relaxes and she exhales.

Tachibana nods and he mimics her. The last thing he wanted was to ruin her dream after all, especially when she was so close to completing it.

What Kai Mutsumi didn’t realize was that for everything he kept locked up behind his lips, it seeped out through his hands.

——

Sarafumi was the first to notice, weaving through another daze of rehearsals and everlasting days. Something had been different ever since winter break ended and he returned from the Takashina estate, Fumi noting quickly the distance between the pair had all but vanished.

Kai loomed like a shadow in the most obvious way sometimes, so oafish in stature yet gentle in nature, a constant figure adjacent to Kisa. Fumi assumes Kai believes as Jack Ace he could get away with the constant, unbreakable attention on Tachibana, that it would make sense. Too bad for Kai, Fumi had two eyes and a working attention span.

Across the room became nearby. Nearby turned into Kai next to Tachibana every group huddle. Mutsumi never touched the young Al Jeanne unless a scene required it but Fumi could read the want in his golden eyes, a lurking thrum that never seemed to ebb. His expression had always seemed dull, but now…

Walking in on them privately rehearsing late one night was the last thing Fumi wanted. It was easier to deny when the evidence wasn’t point blank in front of him, but now he saw what he shouldn’t and the secret became three to keep.

Kai directs Tachibana, soft touches to adjust her posture and balance. Kisa listens and soaks it all in, clearly not minding how his larger hands linger on an arm or a hip, practicing and practicing and practicing.

When Fumi was partnered with Kai, the man had always kept a wall up, even after the rather constant arguments and classroom disagreements. Even after solving their differences as best they could, working together long enough that Kai could elevate the Al Jeanne without command. But Fumi saw no wall, no barrier between the pair in front of him. He apologizes for walking in, thinking the room would be empty, and gracefully excuses himself.

Fumi smiles. It’s yet another Kisa Tachibana secret he must tuck away, but he can’t help but be pleased to witness the two of them together.

——

Yonaga picks up on them next through the most innocuous of means.

Mutsumi is ever the dutiful senior for the first years, always assisting with whatever task he could, especially unprompted. Goodness knows how much Kai helped Yonaga through his fall slump, providing a proverbial, sturdy shoulder. All the constant warm reminders to Suzu about midterms or exams on the horizon. Hell, Yonaga was pretty sure he even saw Mutsumi checking in on Otori at times, quiet words of encouragement shared when no one else was looking.

Needless to say, it was relatively normal to see Kai silently taking care of others in the background.

What was weird was witnessing him gently peeling an orange and then placing the slices across from him at the cafeteria table. Onto Tachibana’s plate, no, Kisa-chan’s plate.

Tachibana accepted it as if it was normal, plopping a slice into her mouth every few bites as they quietly chatted over lunch. He clearly mumbles something amusing, the younger girl supplying him a toothy grin and a laugh that chimes.

Soshiro can’t see the twinge of red on his senior’s face but he certainly can read the embarrassed tension in his shoulders, Kai stiffening as if caught red handed. The moment passes in a flash, Yonaga almost wondering if he blinked it away.

The first year decides to leave them be, instead snagging a secluded window seat. He shoves down the flare of jealousy in his gut, Soshiro unable to stop a small, sad smile. The last thing he sees is Kai gently scooting a napkin to her side of the table, Kisa holding up hands smeared in citrus juice.

At least it’s Kai-san, he tells himself. He was lucky enough to be able to be next to her once more.

——

Mitsuki has no idea what to make of it.

It's a cold February winter morning, frost on the ground and a chill in the dorm hallways.

He heads out early for his own practice but stops when he almost bumps into Mutsumi. Kai stands idly in front of the small food stand Univeil supplies to each dorm, the third-year unwittingly blocking the hall.

Well, that was strange. Mitsuki doesn’t think he’s ever seen Kai not pick up food from the cafeteria, expressing no likes or dislikes when it came to sustenance.

Kai doesn’t seem to notice the second year, reading the menu with the smallest frown.

“Kai-san?”

If Kai could be surprised, Mitsuki is certain he just saw the closest example of it. Widened gold eyes, long back straightening out.

“Mitsuki, good morning,” the dark haired man replies automatically, monotone.

“Are you ordering food?” The curiosity of this encounter is bothering him too much to stay quiet.

“Ah, yes,” Kai answers, one hand rubbing at his wrist. “I wanted to try one of the breads. I was recommended it recently.”

“I see,” Mitsuki says. “Going to the mountains today?” Now that he had stopped, he might as well attempt some small talk. Mitsuki knew this was a sad attempt but continued all the same. He was witnessing a new Kai Mutsumi in real time and couldn’t tear away now without at least one prod.

“Oh. Yes. It's a good morning for it.” Kai still isn’t looking at him, eyes flicking between the menu and the employee patiently waiting.

“...Well then, if you’ll excuse me.” Mitsuki starts to pad away, turning around a few steps later to take one last glance. He understood Kai enough to know that was the last of the information he’d glean.

Mutsumi nods curtly as Shirota turns to leave, finally stepping toward the counter. He orders quietly, exchanging coins for two packed pouches of curry bread. The exact curry bread Mitsuki’s seen Tachibana share countless times with Orimaki and Yonaga.

Kai then turns to walk down the hallway towards the rooms where the first years are housed.

Mitsuki blinks.

That’s not how one gets to Mt. Oodate.

——

Kokuto outright denies seeing anything happening between Quartz’s blooming Jack Ace and Al Jeanne. If anyone in his class was going to be aware of a burgeoning companionship, it would be Neji, though he’ll set fire to the sails of his own ship before admitting it.

Tachibana approaching him the night before Weekend Lesson had been the start of it all. Kokuto looks back on that fever dream of an evening fondly, remembering how the fire burning in Tachibana’s golden eyes was mirrored the next day by Mutsumi, baffled and angry that a spotlight finally fixated on him. Two birds one stone he had told himself excitedly, Neji getting to pick apart the new first year’s brain and plan a nefarious prank for his friend at the same time.

The look Mutsumi gave Tachibana as soon he realized what was happening was simply euphoric, at least after the taller man had finished glaring at him, Kai easily accepting a baton from fiery Mukai and running away with it.

It also wasn’t as if he heard Kai mumble during Oh Rama Havenna, looking on from off-stage with an expression that could be nothing but yearning at Tachibana’s performance. Neji tucks that memory away for safekeeping, for planning, for the notion that he’ll come back to execute something heinous with that info later.

Sarafumi and Kai had been an usable, functioning partnership Kokuto could abuse in all his scripts but Kai's face that day displayed something he hadn’t seen once from his friend. It set the gears turning in his head, prompts and ideas forming all the while he dashes on stage to dance in his own sin.

He would absolutely, undeniably, resolutely refuse to acknowledge Sissia of the Central Nation was anything other than a vessel for his two schoolmates to confess. Fumi tried at one point to weasel a whiff of admittance from him but Kokuto laughed the man off, dancing around in circles before skittering off to his office.

And when Mutsumi himself dares to step foot into Neji’s domain, crumpled script in hand and suggestions on his tongue regarding Levi and Sissia, Kokuto knew it was hook, line, and sinker.

——

Suzu is the last, but certainly not the least, to figure it all out.

He's on cloud nine, his last Univeil performance done, a solid silver medal for his Jack Ace alongside Tachibana’s Al Jeanne. He's doing somersaults mentally, bouncing around like a puppy who was just told it’s time for a walk.

Orimaki weaves his way backstage, dodging various props and costume racks, beelining for the green room he and Tachibana shared as leads.

His stage partner had slipped away quickly after the bows and waves, but Suzu was determined to find him and share their final moment of Univeil glory.

“Tachibana! Tachiba—" Suzu shouts, turning the door handle. The redhead stops in his tracks, body almost tipping over when his feet freeze in place.

At first, he’s only embarrassed because it seems to be a private conversation amongst the Al Jeanne and their senior alumnus.

Mutsumi and Tachibana are talking quietly, Kai peering down at her with an intensity Orimaki swears he’s only seen under the stage lights once before. Kisa wears a faint flush, smiling openly in return.

Kisa squeezes a hand tighter, gripping a few branches of plum blossom blooms. Mutsumi gently thumbs at Tachibana’s fingers, an idle rotation that seems to please both of them.

“Oooooooi, Tachibana! … Hey wait, where are those from?”

“O-oh, these?” Kisa glances down at the flowers in her hand, randomly appearing after their second year’s Univeil performance.

“Yeah, those! A fan give them to you or something? They’re so cute, they look like you!”

Tachibana blanches for a moment but quickly nods. “They are, aren’t they? Hey, where did everyone else go? I heard Quartz alumni came to see us, Suzu-kun..”

“You were so pretty, Kisa,” Kai's voice is low, almost a whisper, the words out before he can stop himself.

Suzu thinks he’s going to pass out, or evaporate on that spot. One of the two, surely. Especially when they both snap to look at him, deers caught in headlights.

“Suzu-kun?” Tachibana murmurs, moving back from Kai.

“I was not here!!” He exclaims loudly, turning around and snapping the door shut behind him.

Suzu bounds down the hall, three steps at a time. Yonaga, where the HELL was Yonaga?

The shorter man is nowhere to be seen, Suzu weaving his way through the throngs of playgoers and attendees. He finally decides to stop and lean against a wall, taking a moment to sift through everything he just witnessed.

A familiar voice pulls him back out of his swirling thoughts. “Suzu-kun?” Yonaga questions, crossing his arms. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Suzu's head snaps up with a frantic expression once more now that his close comrade found him. “Yonaga, I think I messed up big time,” he spews.

“Well?” Soshiro prompts, patiently waiting.

“I went to go find Tachibana and I found him backstage with Kai-san and– I don't think I shoulda seen any of that,” he mumbles.

“What's so weird about that? Of course Kai-san would be here to watch us.”

“It’s not, but it also is. I’m pretty sure I intruded on some kinda moment,” Suzu explains further, hands doing circles in the air.

“Kisa-chan and Kai-san?” Yonaga rubs at his chin, arms still crossed. He's not flustered by this at all. Suzu is now further befuddled.

“Wait, Yonaga, why aren’t you freaking out either? He's your childhood friend,” Suzu says exasperated.

An arm slings around Yonaga’s shoulders, Sarafumi saddling up with the rest of the 76th and 77th in tow. “Annnnnd what are our newly graduating juniors gossiping about over here?”

“Ah, Fumi-san, n-nothing!” Suzu jolts, stiffening like a board. Yonaga lets loose a wry smile. “Suzu-kun walked in on Kisa-chan and Kai-san talking apparently.”

“You peeking on them, Su?” Fumi teases, a smirk growing. He uses his free arm to yank on Kokuto, tugging him over.

“Did I hear Orimaki-kun is peeping on others? Sticking his foot between a Jack Ace and Al Jeanne where it deeefinitely doesn’t belong?” Neji pipes up, an evil twinkle in his eye.

“I.. I did not. Maybe. By accident, okay!!”

Orimaki pauses again. This entire situation was confusing, dammit. This should be big news, groundbreaking news, and all his seniors were doing was looking at him like he locked himself out of his dorm yet again.

Mitsuki rolls his eyes, softly huffing in laughter.

“Suzu-kun.” A softer voice calls out from behind him.

Orimaki flushes red, turning to see Tachibana standing there with Mutsumi in tow a few steps behind. Kisa’s hands still hold the flowers from before, slim branches and tiny pink flowers.

“Sorry about that,” Tachibana continues, an apologetic smile forming. “I didn’t mean to hog the green room, in case you needed anything.”

Suzu shakes his face and hands, denying quickly, “No, no, you’re good, sorry, I didn't mean to walk in like that.” Kisa nods, now looking at the rest of Quartz.

“Fumi-san, Neji-senpai, Shirota-senpai… Thanks for coming,” she grins, bowing. “It means a lot to have you send us off like this.”

Whatever Kokuto was going to yell is choked off by Fumi's arm squeezing his throat, pulling him closer as he wiggles his eyebrows. “Absolutely, wouldn’t miss it for anything. Kai couldn’t stop talking about the day approaching, you know.” Mutsumi frowns from behind her and Tachibana giggles, not needing to glance back to know her partner is looking displeased.

“That sounds like him,” she agrees.

Soshiro pipes up again. “Kisa-chan, are you two joining us for the afterparty? Kaido-san’s hosting dinner for everyone, his treat.”

Tachibana shakes her head. “Nope, I have other plans. I'll catch you all tomorrow though! Save me a spot at the graduation ceremony, Sou-chan!”

The Al Jeanne bows once more and then turns around, stepping back up to Kai. They share a quick look and then start trodding off together, Kai's arms stuck rigidly to his sides. The redhead watches Kisa glance down for a moment, then up, and finally reach out to thread her fingers with his larger ones, tugging the taller man a smidge closer.

If he squints he thinks he can see Kisa relaxing her shoulders for the first time in well, ever. Has Tachibana always looked that tense?

Suzu's jaw slides open. Suddenly a lot more things make sense as the puzzle pieces fall into place. Mitsuki turns around, noticing the taller boy isn’t walking away with the rest of Quartz. He pads back over to Suzu, stopping with a hand on his hip.

“About time, Orimaki,” he comments, the corners of his mouth perking up. Suzu looks like he should have steam coming out his ears.

“Are they– did I miss something– is that why he had those–”

“Yes, yes… and yes. C'mon," Mitsuki tries again, tilting his head towards the exit. “Let’s get you a drink. I'm sure we can get Fumi-san to sneak you one.”

The last thing Suzu sees before breaking line of sight is Kai hunching over briefly as he brings Tachibana’s hand up, glossing his lips across the back of it. Suzu turns around in a panic, quickly following Shirota back to the group.

Three, make that three, Shirota-senpai.”

Mitsuki sputters, laughing. “Okay. Three it is then.”

Notes:

i actually wrote this almost immediately after finishing kai route (which was my first jj route) but told myself i couldn't release it until i had finished the rest of quartz so i could ensure my best chance at characters.... so .... 6 months later.... here it is because i'm done with them all and i give up on writing neji haha (he's someone else's problem now!!!!!)

catch me on bsky @eibari, i'm prolly yapping about kaikisa :')