Work Text:
Atsushi tapped his foot impatiently as he dialled Kunikida's number, hoping that he wasn't so busy with work that his call would go unanswered. Beside him, Dazai was giggling to herself, having gotten drunk before it had even hit noon. She wasn't meant to be here, but then again, she wasn't supposed to be pissed on a workday either. She was just ditching work again, having fun causing chaos. And now that Atsushi had found her, he was unfortunately responsible for making sure she didn't go jumping into any rivers.
His phone rang and rang until he ended up getting Kunikida's voicemail. Sighing deeply, Atsushi murmured, "Kunikida-san, I found Dazai-san. I already texted you our location. Come pick us up, please?" His thumb hit the button to hang up, eyebrows knitted together with frustration.
He could deal with most of Dazai's behaviour; could wrangle her when she was being annoying or evasive or unserious or dangerously quiet. But drunken and in public, so close to causing a scene every time that Atsushi's gaze wandered? It was tiring–maybe even more than his work was slowly becoming. Even if he was running himself ragged saving people, there was worth to be found in that; meaning in doing the truly right thing. Taking care of his mentor while already on the verge of losing his mind? That was just too much to handle.
He waited another minute or two for a reply, but Kunikida must have been buried up to his neck in his and Dazai's paperwork. So Atsushi dialled another number, feeling slightly guilty for this.
Sigma picked up quickly, humming a little, "Hello, Atsushi-kun?"
Atsushi tightened his grip on Dazai's shoulder, listening to her giggle under her breath as she played with Atsushi's tail-like belt. "Hi, Sigma-chan. Sorry to bother you, but I need to ask a favour."
"Oh, that's okay," Sigma replied. Atsushi knew today was her day off, and he wouldn't have asked for her help if he didn't know that she was likely the only one who would be able to get them quickly. Despite that, she didn't sound all too bothered by the call. "What did you need?"
"I found Dazai-san on my way back from meeting up with a potential client," Atsushi said, swatting away Dazai's hand when she began to undo Atsushi's belt. Probably trying to strangle herself with it again. It wouldn't be the first time. "She's drunk, and I don't think I could walk her safely back to her dorm."
Sigma caught on quickly to what Atsushi was hinting at, but still clarified with, "You're asking me to pick you up, yes?"
Atsushi hummed, pulling his phone away from his ear. "I'll text you my location," he said loudly, hoping Sigma could still hear him as he sent her the spot. "Don't rush, but also..." He lowered his voice and pressed his phone against his other ear, whispering into the microphone. "Please don't leave me here for longer than you need to."
Laughing, Sigma said, "Sure," before hanging up. Atsushi exhaled softly, putting his phone in his pocket. He was about to turn and tell Dazai to behave herself, when he realised that she wasn't by his side.
Ohhh, I'm gonna wring her neck, Atsushi thought, before he came to the sudden realisation that he sounded awfully like Kunikida, and Executive Nakahara, and essentially anyone who had to deal with Dazai's nonsense for longer than five minutes at a time. No surprise there, considering he had slowly become one of Dazai's main caretakers.
He looked around, trying to spot where his mentor had run off to. Following the trail of scandalised pedestrians, he found her running down the sidewalk with no spatial awareness whatsoever. Atsushi ran after her, apologising to every individual who was scarred by Dazai's drunkenness.
They were nearing a street corner when Dazai turned around and called out, "Atsushi-kuuuun! Hiiiiiiii!" Waving her arms widely, as though Atsushi couldn't clearly see her. She wobbled, unsteady, and Atsushi watched as she lost her balance and crumpled to the footpath with a quiet shout. At least she didn't hit her head–Atsushi wanted nothing less than to deal with a concussed Dazai on top of everything else.
Picking her up and slinging her over his shoulder, he grumbled, "Pull this again and I'm going to get you banned from every alcohol-serving establishment in Yokohama."
"I didn't know Atsushi-kun could use such big words!" Dazai taunted in reply, snorting to herself; completely and utterly out of it. Atsushi ignored her following remarks and carried her back to where they were before, hoping that Sigma would be here soon. He couldn't take more of Dazai's tomfoolery on his own.
Luckily enough, he saw a familiar car driving down the street towards them. Sigma pulled into the nearest parking spot, honking the horn to call Atsushi's attention as though he hadn't yet noticed. It seemed more reassuring than mocking, however, and Atsushi couldn't find it in himself to get frustrated at Sigma when she'd shown up so quickly.
Atsushi dropped Dazai back onto her feet, steadying her as she swayed. She grabbed Atsushi's arm and commanded him to lead her, which he couldn't exactly deny if he wanted to get her home anytime soon. He guided her to the car and into the backseat, going so far as to buckle her in. She beamed at him, thrilled by the princess treatment. Atsushi flicked her nose as he leaned back out of the car, shutting the door at her scoff of disbelief.
"Thanks for coming so quickly, Sigma-chan," he muttered as he slid into the passenger seat, taking a second to just relax. Sigma smiled at him from behind her sunglasses, looking incredibly pretty. And she smelled nice, too, like perfume. Atsushi didn't know Sigma wore perfume on days that she wasn't going out. He shut the door and put on his seatbelt, taking in the dress she was wearing. Pretty, flowy and purple, which seemed to be her favourite colour. Her hair was tied into two long plaits that reached the small of her back, fastened by little hair elastics with bows on them.
Sigma cleared her throat, clearly noticing Atsushi's staring. Atsushi laughed nervously and looked to the side, face going warm as Sigma murmured, "It's really no problem..."
The sweet moment was ruined by Dazai chanting, "Kiss, kiss, kiss!" from the backseat. Atsushi and Sigma told her to shut up in unison, which elicited a giggle out of them both. Sigma was smiling as she put down the handbrake and shifted the car into drive, carefully pulling back out onto the road. She drove with far more caution than Dazai, who shouldn't have been allowed a licence, and faster than Kunikida; pushing just past the speed limit. Playing from the radio was a collection of Polish songs that Sigma hummed along to, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel as she ran the third orange light in a row, seemingly unphased by the road rules she was breaking.
She was easy to be around, Sigma, and Atsushi would be lying if he said he didn't like her, because he did. He liked her a lot. Despite his past relationship failing to work without constant pressure and the adrenaline rush of the battlefield, Atsushi wasn't worried about encountering something like that with Sigma. He could be around her just fine, from playing card games together to venting to each other about the craziness of working for the Agency. They worked well together.
As they neared the Agency's dormitories, Dazai leaned forward and slurred, "Sigma-chan, do you have a plastic bag?"
Briefly taking her eyes off the road to look back at Dazai, she replied, "...yes? In the glovebox."
"Good." Dazai smiled. "I'll be having that, thanks, Atsushi-kun!"
Atsushi opened the glovebox and grabbed the plastic bag, passing it back to Dazai. "What for..?"
"Oh, I need to throw up," Dazai said, just sunny as she settled back into her seat and then retched into the bag. Atsushi gagged as Sigma significantly sped up, looking equally nauseous.
"Couldn't you have waited one more minute?" she lamented as she turned onto their street. Dazai was a bit too busy throwing up to respond. Atsushi put his window down, hoping the fresh air would help settle the contents of his stomach. Sigma parked hastily outside, tossing back a few tissues without checking to see if Dazai was able to grab them.
"Sorry," Atsushi said, frowning softly. Sigma shot him a sympathetic smile, wincing.
"It's okay," she said, before she unbuckled her seatbelt and opened her door, barely remembering to grab her keys before getting out of the car. "You can make it up to me by throwing out Dazai's vomit bag."
Atsushi shuddered, getting out to help.
Sigma didn't know why Atsushi had chosen to call her out of everybody else, but she wouldn't hesitate to help him when he was one of the most normal people she knew. Despite having to help out with a drunken, sick Dazai, she didn't mind giving Atsushi a hand. It was only fair to aid someone who never hesitated to be seen with her, to be kind to her.
As Atsushi threw Dazai's vomit bag in the rubbish bin, Sigma lugged Dazai back towards her apartment. It was difficult, seeing as Dazai kept trying to twirl around and wriggle out of Sigma's hold. How she managed to stay smiling after throwing her guts up, Sigma would never know. Dazai's mind was a strange place, after all.
"I'm just grabbing your keys," she sighed, trying not to sigh when Dazai started squirming away from her hand. All she wanted to do was get her keys from her pocket, and yet Dazai couldn't help but be a pest. Luckily, her focus was entirely on Sigma, which meant that Atsushi, once he returned, was able to quickly grab Dazai's keys and toss them into Sigma's waiting hands.
Sigma unlocked the door as Dazai whined, mumbling something incomprehensible about Atsushi being unfair. That didn't seem to phase him as he guided her into her dormitory, dropping down into a squat to help get her shoes off as Sigma held her upright. They worked wordlessly to get Dazai over to her bathroom, where Sigma coaxed Dazai into trying to throw up again, since she'd been complaining about still feeling sick. This time, both Atsushi and Sigma were slightly more ready for the sound of Dazai vomiting, although not by much. Atsushi helped Dazai clean her mouth as Sigma flushed away the mixture of vomit and bile.
"Up we go," she murmured, pulling Dazai up onto her feet. By this point in time, Dazai seemed coherent enough to wash her mouth clean and splash water on her face, steadier on her feet. She walked over to her futon with minimal difficulty, collapsing down onto it with a sigh.
"Ahh, Atsushi-kun, Sigma-chan, don't leave yet!" she said, kicking her feet in a way that was likely supposed to be seen as whiny. And yet, her voice trailed off into one that almost seemed uncertain, as though she had convinced herself that Sigma and Atsushi were going to run off at the first possible convenience. She seemed to perk up when Atsushi followed her and crouched down beside her futon, smiling weakly.
"We'll stay until you fall asleep," he said.
"Fall asleep?" Dazai scoffed, immediately doubling back from that moment of vulnerability weakness. "At this time of day, Atsushi-kun?"
"It wouldn't hurt to try," Sigma piped in, squatting beside Atsushi. "At least lie down and close your eyes."
Dazai pouted, tipping her head back with an exaggerated groan. "But Sigma-chan, I'm not tired!"
Like this, she honestly sounded like a little kid. A lot of Dazai's behaviour was somewhat childish–all playful and nowhere near serious. It likely had something to do with her Port Mafia roots. Being able to express herself was probably very important, even if it was annoying as shit. Atsushi let it go as he guided her to lie on her back, pulling his blankets over her.
"Do you usually watch something to fall asleep?" Atsushi asked. He sometimes listened to rain sounds or white noise when he had trouble sleeping. Maybe doing something similar could help Dazai to relax enough to rest.
Dazai shrugged, her eyes already resting shut. Apparently she'd forgotten about being strongly opposed to sleeping during the day around two minutes ago. "You could put the TV on," she mumbled. "I don't care."
Atsushi looked over to Sigma, who had already gotten up to turn the TV on. Considering how small the dormitories were, the noise from whatever shows were on would definitely carry, providing much needed background noise to soothe Dazai's overworking brain.
Indeed, as Sigma turned the TV on to some kid's channel, Dazai seemed to relax significantly, humming as she got comfortable. She looked so at peace like this, and Atsushi couldn't help himself from fixing her fringe, murmuring, "Sleep tight."
Sigma watched it all, smiling gently as Atsushi got up, stretched his back, and then joined her on the couch. He looked more than a little exhausted, spacing out to mindlessly watch the cartoons on the TV. They seemed a bit nonsensical to Sigma, but it was endearing to see how the tenseness in Atsushi's shoulders eased away with every passing second of mediocre media.
"Do you need a nap, too?" Sigma asked, barely teasing. It snapped Atsushi out of his reverie, and his face flushed pink, eyes going wide. He looked very cute, Sigma realised, when he was surprised. Unguarded and open, unlike most other people she knew.
"No," Atsushi replied, blushing. "I'm perfectly awake."
Sigma hummed, leaning in so close that her nose almost bumped into his cheek. She waited to see if he'd pull away, then kissed him on the cheek. "Sure."
Atsushi's face went even more red, and he gaped like a fish out of water, completely and utterly speechless. The moment was sweet, tinged in lovestruck pink as he leaned in closer to her, seeking a proper kiss. He almost made it all the way before–
"A-ha-ha-ha! Yes!!"
Both Atsushi and Sigma looked back at Dazai, who was sitting up and cackling manically, an impossibly wide grin on her face. Atsushi hid his face in the crook of Sigma's neck, while Sigma threw a pillow at Dazai's head.
This wasn't how Sigma was expecting her first attempt at flirting with Atsushi to go, but at least the mood was light.
"Go to sleep!" she demanded, exasperated. Atsushi pulled back with stars in his eyes, smiling gently at her. His expression was so terribly soft, a deep longing exposed for Sigma to marvel at. She leaned in, cupping his face, and pressed her lips against his in a chaste kiss, feeling him kiss back with equal fervour.
"Wow," he sighed when the kiss ended.
Sigma smiled, echoing his sentiment. "Yeah, wow."
There was no doubt that she would have gone in for another kiss if she didn't happen to hear the buzzing of Atsushi's phone in his pocket. Pointing it out, Atsushi followed her finger to his phone, which he clumsily grabbed upon realising that it was ringing. In his fumbling, he hung up on the caller.
The screen proudly displayed Three missed calls from: KUNIKIDA.
Atsushi's face dropped, and he looked like he'd remembered something incredibly pressing. "Oh, god. Kunikida-san."
[BONUS]
Kunikida's eyebrows furrowed as he stopped the car in front of the location Atsushi had given him, searching the footpath for him and Dazai. Out of all the pedestrians walking back and forth, he couldn't spot the pair at all. Maybe he had taken a little too long, but he hadn't expected for them to vanish in the time it had taken him to notice all the notifications on his phone.
Had they been abducted? He doubted it. Atsushi was competent enough to defend himself, and Dazai... Nobody could truly stand her antics, even if she had a brilliant mind. They must have wandered off–or, really, Dazai must have wandered off and forced Atsushi to follow.
At any rate, they weren't here anymore, and Kunikida's precious schedule could no longer be adhered to after such a massive change.
He felt a headache forming behind his temples.
"That brat," Kunikida groaned, not sure which of the pair he was referring to anymore.