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Kaida Cleese: Padawan of War
“Our orders are to defend this pass,” I indicated a blinking red dot on the holomap, “while the rest of our forces engage the Separatists. We’ll remain back here, and the rest of our forces will circle around and flank them.”
I was struggling to keep my voice loud enough and steady, and I knew I was repeating myself. I could feel my hands shaking but I hoped no one could see it. I took a moment to steady my breathing then continued.
“Master Shula’s troops will provide air cover and additional support to the flanking troops. We will be provided some additional troops as well.
The pass is only a hundred meters long with cliffs on either side. We’ll position ourselves here, about fifty meters away, and set up a defensive perimeter around the pass. It won’t be easy but with Master Shula’s troops we should be able to hold out until the droids are surrounded. Any questions?”
I searched the faces in front of me. They all looked the same, except for the occasional scar or differently colored eyes. They weren’t used to me yet, and I wasn’t sure about them. Hopefully we’d get over it or else fighting this battle would be much harder.
I signaled for Captain De to take control and turned to instruct D8. She wanted to join me on the ground but I ordered her to stay on the ship. I didn’t need to worry about her while I was down there.
“Commander,” Lieutenant Ranger was beside me, “you did well.”
“Thanks Lieutenant. I just hope it’ll work. Master Shula has a head for strategy but…” I didn’t want to tell him that I thought this would get all of us killed.
“We’ll be fine, Commander. We know you’re looking out for us.”
His confidence in me gave me a little hope. Maybe it would work, maybe the feeling I had was just nerves trying to get the better of me.
***
I could hear the fighting from our position. In the dusk I could make out flashes of blaster fire and bombs exploding. I kept my hands on my saber, nervously fingering the metal braid I’d accidentally welded to it. I didn’t turn it on but I felt better with the familiar weapon in my hands.
Ranger stood beside me. I imagined Captain De must’ve ordered him to keep an eye on me. I hadn’t known the Lieutenant for too long but I’d been training with his men. I trusted him.
“Commander,” he surprised me out of my musings, “why don’t we go check on the line.”
I nodded and let him lead the way to our perimeter. I felt myself loosening up as we walked. I hadn’t realized how tense I was while I was standing in the safety of the back. I allowed myself to turn to the calming melody of the force. I could feel it working through me as we got closer and closer to the sounds of battle.
Clones sat or stood prepared to defend the pass if anything broke through. This was what made me the most nervous: we had a limited number of men and a fairly large space to cover. If something happened, hundreds would die. But I had orders, I couldn’t break them. Even if everything inside me told me to bring them back, closer to the pass, I wouldn't be able to.
“Commander, everything all right?” Captain De made his way towards us.
“Uh yes. I was just making some rounds,” I answered when Ranger stayed silent.
“I’d suggest getting back to your position. It looks like they’re putting up more of a fight than we thought…”
A crackly voice filled with urgency interrupted him.
“Commander Cleese, do you read me? Commander Cleese, they’ve broken through. Repeat, they’ve broken through. They’re heading towards… agh!” The transmission ended with a blaster shot.
Horrified, I looked to Captain De. He was already starting to call orders but in the middle of his yell he was shot down. I knew before I reached him, he was dead.
Suddenly, blaster fire rained down on us. Dozens of men went down before we could do anything. I started to shout orders as well, bringing the men in front of me closer like I should have before. I surrendered myself to the force and let it analyze the situation, let it whisper the decisions to me. I barked one last command then ignited my saber, prepared to join in the fight.
***
I found a squad I’d been training with, who I knew I could fight with. Stac was already dead when I arrived, hit by one of the large blasts. The rest of them were fighting for their lives against the waves of droids that materialized in the foggy light. I leapt in front of them and began to deflect the blaster bolts back towards their owners. Ranger joined me, blasting his way to my side.
“We need to fall back,” he called, “our lines are too thin.”
I nodded, no time for words, and protected him while he made the order. I deflected the bolts the best I could. I could hear yelling and screaming all around me as we fell back to our new position. In the force, I could hear every single clone as their life was suddenly cut short. It was like one instrument in a symphony stopped playing, with each loss the melody grew quieter and sadder.
We fought hard at that position for many hours. I was barely able to stand even with the force lending me its strength. I stood over Cam’s body; no medic had been able to come. I tried my best to protect him as his life ebbed away. Slowly, slowly. I could still sense some of it left in him and that’s why I continued to fight. Everything screamed at me to stop, to give up, but I knew that if I did Cam would die. This way, at least he had a chance.
Four hours after our position had been overrun we saw our support. When I saw Master Rok’s troops come into view behind the droids, when I saw that we had been saved, I sank to my knees. The ground was wet from the fog and rain that had plagued us. It was almost like it was trying to wash away the terrible disaster that had happened here.
“Co… commander?”
Cam. He was still alive, barely breathing, calling for me. I dragged myself to him.
“Commander?” He called out, louder this time.
“I’m here Cam.”
“Do… do you think Ranger’ll stop calling us shinies now?”
I closed my eyes and turned away so he couldn’t see the tears. I shook with the sobs I tried to keep quiet.
“Of course he will. No one will call you a shiny again.”
“That’s… that’s good,” he sighed.
He took one last shuddering breath, then went still. His life energy, the little left, drained away. I hung my head and let myself cry. Huge sobs racked my body. This was Cam’s first fight, it shouldn’t have been his last. He’d been so ready to prove himself to us, to prove he wasn’t a shiny. He’d done that now, and more.
Before long, other voices were calling out. Some begged for a lost brother to come back, some just wanted some water. I didn’t want to go to them. I wanted to stay on the ground. I’d die if I had to, just let me stay there with Cam. But something whispered to me, that pesky voice that always seemed to be right.
“They deserve to die with someone who cares.”
So I struggled to my feet and began to visit the dying. One clone told me about a kind old woman who’d fed him while on a campaign. I promised to go to her and thank her. Another begged for water. I gave him the rest of my canteen. Hundreds of men lay on the ground, propped against rocks, and I visited every single one of them. They died with me by their side, holding their hands, and promising them a better life.
Hours, that’s how long we’d fought. But this?
This I would always measure in years.