Chapter Text
“Hey…Kris?”
Kris’ attention is brought to Susie, who sits on their bed, pressing around on a borrowed hand-held game console. She looks towards them, putting the device away, with a bit of a serious look to her face.
“I…wanna ask you something.”
Kris responds positively.
“...Heheh, really? You’d really let me ask anything I wanted? Well, I’m kinda glad you said that, ‘cause this is kinda…weird of me to ask. I guess. But you’re weirder, so I’ll do it anyways.”
Interested in what their best friend has to say, Kris joins Susie on their bed, leaving the books they were studying on the bedroom carpet. Susie looks at them with concerned eyes as she resumes speaking.
“It’s…really, really hot today. Isn’t it?”
Kris nods.
“Then…how come you’re…still wearing something that’s so…y’know. Like that. It’s covering, like, your whole body. Are you just cold easily, or…? Is it ‘cause…”
Susie pauses, trying to find the right words. Kris, for that small moment, appreciates the fact that ever since things have calmed down in Hometown and the two have gotten…closer, it’s as if they can read each other’s minds. Because they know exactly what question is coming their way next.
“...You don’t want anyone else looking at your body?”
Kris smiles. She’s right on the mark. Confirming her suspicions, Kris climbs further onto their bed, now facing Susie. They spread their arms open and ask her if she wants to see what’s underneath the sweater that badly.
As surprise paints her face, Susie’s cheeks redden in hue. “W-wait wait wait wait wait wait! Don’t just smirk at me and put it like that! C’mon, dude! I ain’t some creep, okay!? I just…was worried! Because it’s burning today!”
Teasing giggles meet Susie’s bashful statement. Kris then reassures the worried girl.
“Well If you KNEW I was just worried, why’d you mess with me like that!? Anyways! There’s…a reason why I asked, okay?” Susie calms, looking down at her own body. “It’s ‘cause…I know how you feel. In fact, you’re really the only one I can dress like this around.” Susie gestures at her own ponytail, sleeveless crop-top and short shorts. “I’d burn to death if I had to be around anybody else right now…but I don’t really give a crap if it’s you.”
Kris asks about Noelle, internally appreciating the extent to which Susie trusts them.
“...She’s different! I wanna impress her! Make her think I’m all…cool and stuff…so no, it doesn’t include her…yet!” Susie rolls her eyes. “Wait…why are you mentioning her anyways!? God, I swear, talking to you these days feels like solving one of those damn dark world puzzles.”
Kris can’t help but let out a hearty laugh, teasing Susie.
“So you DO do it on purpose!”
Only a cheeky shrug meets Susie’s words.
“Ugh…whatever! Well, Look, stop making things weird and listen to what I gotta say, alright?”
Kris nods at her, mellowing, their attentiveness now worn as a gentle smile.
“Alright, finally. You better mean that and take it seriously. Now, what I'm trying to say is that…I think…since I feel so comfortable around you…I want you to feel the same with me. If you can, that is. There's no pressure or anything. But…you don't have to let yourself boil up like that. I won't judge the way you look, ‘cause I know how much that hurts. You got my word.”
As they accept her reassurance, Susie shyly nods along to them explaining their side of the coin, eventually telling her that they do trust her but just wasn't sure if she was ready for it all. They grab the hem of their sweater, starting to slowly pull it upwards, revealing a sports bra underneath. Then, as the sweater slides off Kris’ arms…
“...!?”
Susie’s eyes contort in shock as her snout wrinkles. The girl’s back meets the headrest of Kris’ bed, driven by the instinct to distance herself from the sight before her, afraid that she’s going to hurt her best friend if she gets any closer.
“...Wha—...Kris, I…I didn’t think you meant— when you said it might freak me out I didn’t think— I mean, n-no, it doesn’t freak me out at all, but— A-are you…are you OKAY!?”
The girl swallows down some kind of intense fear jammed in her throat. She stares in awe as beads of tears form at the corners of her eyes. Despite her worries, Kris continues to smile at her, now almost treating their own body as an entertaining spectacle.
“You can’t just…say that! What the hell is so fun about…this!? You…aren’t you in pain? How did this happen!? Did someone hurt y—”
Susie finds herself retracting her words as Kris suddenly approaches her, the patterns of the scars on their arms now clear to her eyes. She starts to realize that it wasn’t someone else who hurt Kris, and almost on cue, it also becomes clear why Kris is nearly leaning over her right now — they reach into the drawer of the bedside table right besides Susie, and bring out from it a very…familiar knife.
Kris then positions themself back to where they were sitting, taking a second to observe Susie’s fearful body language, which simply endears them above anything else. Then, they point to one of their own arms, calling it ‘the art’. Next, they point at their own face using the knife, calling themself ‘the artist.’
And normally, jokes like that would make Susie laugh, or prompt her to say something witty in response, but right now, right now, when it comes to something this serious…
“...Kris, I can’t, I—” She chokes on her words. It’s almost too hard for her to speak. “I don’t…want you to…keep joking about it, I don’t want you to be hurting at all, I—…dammit!”
The girl starts to cry, her voice hoarse with heartache. Kris stares at her in awe.
“I get that you’re j-just trying to make it easy for me but I can’t just take this l-lightly, I…had no d-damn clue you were…going through all this. Th-this much...pain! By yourself! I always thought I knew all about—”
Sighing and frowning, Kris interrupts Susie. With a tone nearly opposite to the wit they played with just minutes ago, they tell her that it’s okay. They decided against confiding in her of their own accord. She doesn’t have to feel so bad about not knowing something intentionally concealed from her.
“—But! I should’ve noticed! I’m such an idiot! ‘Cause some of them are…th-they’re…”
Kris finishes her sentence for her.
“...Yeah. So i-if they’re new, that means you…you’ve been doing this the whole time I knew you?” She sniffles, pushing away the waves of panging in her heart so that she can actually hold a conversation.
Kris brushes it off as just some old habit.
Annoyed, Susie’s eyebrows furrow. “H-hey! You said you’d take me seriously. You don’t get to just shrug it off like that.”
It becomes clear to Kris that Susie isn’t going to let them derail the conversation, so finally, they genuinely relent.
“...Alright. But do that again and I’m gonna get actually pissed off. Now, listen up…”
Susie takes a deep breath, wiping off some of her tears. She readies herself to wear her heart on her sleeve.
“Kris, you…you’re really damn important to me, okay?”
She takes a small pause, her eyes half-lidded in melancholy.
“...Remember the dream I told you about way back when we were dealing with the fountains? How I said I…wanted to be friends with you and…Ralsei…for the rest of our lives?”
She sniffles, Kris responding with a nod.
“Well! Even if things…changed a lot, I still…I still have that dream, y’know? And you…you’re number one on that list of friends I wanna be with forever. You still are. I mean it. I really mean it. And I think…hell’s gonna have to freeze over before I even think about changing my mind on that.”
She pauses to let a few hoarse hiccups escape her throat.
“I guess what I’m tryna say is that…” Susie looks at Kris with loving, heavy eyes, trying her best to muster a weak smile. “You don’t have to fight your pain alone. We…we saved the whole world together. We broke that damn prophecy to pieces just by doing what we do best: being a team, you and I. So…I…I get it if it really is just an old habit you can’t kick. Hell knows I got some of those, too. But…next time…even if you do it, or don’t do it, can you at least…just talk to me about what’s bothering you in the first place? Please?”
Once more, Susie loses her composure as soon as her plea leaves her lips. Her eyes begin to gleam as piteous whimpers fill the room. Kris’ expression softens further at her faint sobs, and they put the knife on their bedside table, repositioning themself to wrap their best friend in a hug.
“...! Kris…” Susie somberly returns their embrace. “I…I got your back. No matter what.” She closes her eyes, letting her tears flow carefully but boundlessly, her chin gently resting on Kris’ shoulder.
As her tender wails ring through the air, Kris’ mind starts to wander.
A small part of them begins to wish that they could feel the kind of love for themself that Susie feels for them. They’ve never cried about their own pain like this — the way Susie is weeping, slowly tightening her embrace, as if she regrets all the years Kris spent self-harming to cope, as if she would go back in time if it meant she was there to help them prevent all that led to this — it’s all so new to them.
Kris just wishes that they could feel even somewhat the same way about this cage of a body that they possess. But right now, they can’t manage to cross that bridge. They don’t know when they will ever be able to make that leap. Yet, what they do know and feel is an endless well of adoration for Susie. So, maybe, they think to themself, just maybe, if they begin to imitate the way she treats them, they might someday be able to map the unmapped path to feel safer in their own skin.
And, without Kris really understanding if what they’re about to say is directed towards themself, or towards Susie…
…Through a voice that’s breaking in its ability to maintain its usual mirth, spills a quiet yet heavy ‘I’m sorry’ that breaks Susie’s heart in two.
“...”
Susie’s crying calms as a response, her grip softening around Kris as she pulls away to look at them, her paws now holding their shoulders. She tilts her snout downwards, maintaining resolute eye-contact.
“Don’t…d-don’t you dare say that, Kris. You…you don’t…gotta apologize to me for any of this, alright? Never. None of it’s your fault…”
Susie sighs.
“Just…what you can do is…promise me that you’ll do what I asked. Promise me you’ll always remember that I'm here by your side. Promise me you won’t hold back anymore. Promise me you’ll remind yourself that you’re not alone when you feel like that.”
At Susie’s tenderness, Kris’ usual demeanor begins to return to them again. They smile at her, their promises sincere and sung alike to oaths of candor, the love they harbor for their best friend carrying their will forward. Seamlessly, affirmations and vows pour from their lips.
Faithful and charmed, Susie’s own frown fades too, and this time, there’s confidence in her expression, mirroring her best friend in returning to her usual self as well.
“...Woah.” Susie thought she was the one being verbose with all that she’s said today, but Kris certainly outdid her just now, pulling her out of her heartbroken state. “Then, I trust ya to keep your word, Kris,” Feeling much lighter, Susie allows her wit to return, “or else.”
Susie raises an eyebrow at Kris’ snarky response.
“Or else I’ll—” Susie comes to realize the fact that violent threats mean nothing to someone like Kris. “—uh…TAKE THAT DAMN KNIFE AWAY FROM YOU!!! And never let you touch anything sharp ever again. And get a big rope and tie you up to a chair! So you can’t go and get one! Heh. Also, Noelle’s gonna help.”
To Susie’s satisfaction, Kris bursts out laughing, throwing their head backwards. Their hands playfully grab onto her burly arms for balance. Once the hilarity subsides, they fix their posture, the two’s eyes now locked in a gaze with each other, silently staring.
Surprise paints their face as Kris notices Susie’s expression has changed from playful anger to…something like…love. Kris feels their heart suddenly beat in their throat, embracing that familiar stomach-churning sensation that she always brings to them.
They respond in the sweetest voice they can muster at the moment, a final reassurance to conclude the conversation.
“A-alright, alright, you big sap. I know I can count on you…” Susie feels her face flush at Kris’ response.
Then, there is another moment of comfortable silence between the two. After, Kris and Susie relax, their emotions grounding back to the present reality. Increasingly, the girl finds herself becoming flustered at her proximity to Kris, prompting her to gently push them away, who understands and extracts themself from her, now resting their back against the wall beside their bed.
Susie then directs her attention at the knife resting on the bedside table. She takes it in her hand, staring at it, eyes half-lidded in thoughtful observation, Kris watching her silently.
“So…this thing, huh…? It’s seen a lot of sides of you that I haven’t even seen, I guess.” She pauses. “...I feel kinda…silly…that I didn’t figure it out sooner. I mean…I see you keeping this thing with you everywhere. Ever since you gave it to me that day at the Church to open a dark—”
Susie’s eyes grow wide at the gears turning in her brain.
“...WAIT.”
Kris tilts their head at Susie.
“KRIS! Kris! Remember what…what Ralsei…used to tell us? About how…the dark worlds that people make…it’s got, like…something to do with your…”will” or whatever? Y’think…”
Susie’s expression mellows, empathy painting her words.
“Do you think one of the reasons why that dark world was so…off…was because I was using a knife that’s seen you go through…so much pain…?”
Kris perks up at the observation, rubbing their chin. Somehow, they hadn’t thought of that. And perhaps, it was more than just what the knife saw. They come to realize that it’s entirely possible some residue of Kris’ blood was dried on the knife during the moment Susie used it.
…Which would explain a lot of things about that world. However, more importantly, this is a perfect opportunity for Kris to say something they always did think of about that night. So, of course, that's what they do, much to Susie’s chagrin.
“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN “ROMANTIC!?” How the HELL does me using your unwashed knife EVER mean ANYTHING like that!?” Susie’s body language follows her surprise, arms spread in disbelief and cheeks flushed in embarrassment.
Kris, muffling their giggles, tries their best to convince Susie to see the tragic intimacy of using a knife laced with their blood to make her first dark fountain. And for once, they can’t tell if their flirting landed on Susie or not, until she softens and responds.
“Th-thats. Weird. But I guess it’s nice that you…trusted me with it? And let me use it to open a fountain and all that…” She crosses her arms and rolls her eyes, trying to not let the flirting get to her too much. “...But that means you gotta trust me with it again if we need you to. Got that, nerd?”
Kris nods, overjoyed at Susie’s caring habits. She’s sometimes such an older sister. Their compliance is light-hearted, prompting Susie to playfully squint at them.
“...Alright…good.” She finally breathes a sigh of relief, the tension in the air dissipating.
Subtly, gently, she smiles at Kris again, who takes notice despite Susie’s shyness. They feel a surge of positive emotions almost drown them as they process all that just happened.
While what Kris wants to do in response involves leaping into Susie’s arms and overwhelming her with affection, they simply settle on expressing their gratitude instead.
“Hey, don’t mention it…I’m just glad you could…open up to me…I…hope I make you feel a little better next time you feel like. Well. Cutting yourself. So just, uh…trust me with whatever you're feeling, okay? It sucks that someone as cool as you ever feels like they have to face the rough stuff alone, y’know?”
Kris feels a weight lifting off their shoulders. That does sound nice, doesn't it? Susie has always been the one to bring change into Kris’ life. This time, it’s no different. Kris assures Susie that they'll be right there when they need her the most.
“Heh…I know you will.”