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"even if you forget me, no matter what happens, no matter how many times or where you go, i'll keep on finding you. let's meet beyond our dreams, prodigy."
- reo, final chapter of episode nagi
"I'm moving away."
Lazy clouds drift up high above, the colors of the sky a pink lemonade poured over orange juice. The world is slow, but steady; rustling leaves, blowing wind, crawling bugs. A girl and a boy, twelve years old— close to turning thirteen soon. They lay on the grass, doing nothing. It's everything, all the same.
Nagi opens his eyes. "…What?"
Reo shifts, sitting up. The wind makes her ribbons flutter; her perfectly styled long hair artfully floating in the wind. Violet eyes pin their gaze to the setting sun.
"School," Reo says simply. "And stuff. Business. Our home here was never permanent."
"…Oh."
Reo wants to say more. She just doesn't know what— like her thoughts are all in a crane machine, and each time she tries to pick one up, the claw just barely is able to contain the prize before it slips away. She glances at Nagi, his face neutral and his hands stuffed in his hoodie pocket.
She takes a deep breath, containing the tears threatening to spill, fighting to keep her face relaxed. Nagi takes his hands out of his pockets, laying his arms by his side now.
"I'll wait," says Nagi. For you, he doesn't say.
Reo sniffles, pressing her hand against her forehead— her eyes dart to Nagi. "Huh?"
"You'll come back, won't you? I'll wait."
Reo's eyes widen; a short disbelieving laugh escapes from her throat. "You don't understand. I don't know how long it'll be— it'll be years, I— I don't know. You might not even recognize me. You'll forget."
Nagi shakes his head a little, pouting slightly. "I'll know it's you… like how Reo will know how to find me too."
"You don't know that," says Reo. "And when you do, it'll be too late. We'll be grown up. We'll be different. We'll be so used to being apart, we'll forget each other."
"Reo… what makes you so sure…?"
"I…" Reo curls in on herself, balling her first into her stomach. "I don't know. I'm too used to knowing everything, that not knowing everything that's gonna happen, is… scary."
Nagi is quiet.
Reo sneaks a glance at him— further turning her head when she catches a glimpse of his face. His fingers curl into his palms, one of his knees flexing subtly— there's an emotion swirling in his eyes.
It's fear.
"Reo, promise me one thing… promise that we'll meet again."
Reo blinks— her eyes soften. She plants her hand on Nagi's head, ruffling his hair— she can't help it, she's so incredibly fond of this boy.
"Yeah, Nagi," Reo agrees, determination set in her expression. A strong wind blows "I promise."
One day, Nagi wakes up— and Reo isn't the one doing it, and he is alone in his room. He bikes to her house, the big mansion on the hill, and clumsily climbs up the tree that Reo would use to sneak out. Barely able to haul himself up on the branch, Nagi peeks through the window to see that the bedroom is empty.
The bed, the vanity, the toy chest and the closet are still there.
But it's empty.
Nagi goes back to his house, riding by the fire hydrant at the corner (Reo would play with him there) and the ice cream place (they would get ice cream there) and the post office (Reo liked watching the post people work).
Light envelops the surface of objects. Reo stays, even when she is gone.
Reo starts high school. It's an elite boarding school for the gifted and privileged, a step higher from the prestigious middle school she attended. She thrives: she has friends, she excels in every subject, she's on track to become extremely successful. She was born to surpass. She will make lots of money. She will marry a man and expand their corporation.
On their days off, Reo wears this one hoodie she stole from Nagi. It's oversized on her, which calls the attention of girls with a nose for gossip.
"Is that your boyfriend's?" One of her friends ask; the tone is teasing, but they clearly want to know.
Reo laughs, going with the joke— all the girls perk up in interest, wanting to hear about this supposed boy.
"No, it's not," Reo answers, her smile not as brilliant as usual— but something else. "It belonged to someone much, much more important than that."
Time passes. Every festival Reo attends, when they launch fireworks into the sky, Reo spares a glance to the kindly moon and prays— prays that Nagi hasn't shut himself away from the world. Prays that maybe, perhaps, he is looking up at the same moon this very moment.
Maybe then, could their paths cross again.
Nagi isn't just a shell of a person. He's something else, maybe nothing. He outgrew that young boy that used to play with Reo; left him behind, but not really. He still sees him sometimes, playing by the lake with his best friend.
That's what the shell is. Simutaneously something he left behind, but something he is trapped in.
He is alone, obviously, by choice. There's no more reason to put in effort for anything. There's no more reason to try. He goes to school everyday, with the intention of it ending.
He is alone, and buried in himself. And maybe, for that reason, perhaps aided by the internet, he makes some small discoveries about himself. His hair grows long, and he kinda likes it, even if it's a hassle— he likes styling it, sometimes. He likes long skirts and warm cardigans, because they're like wearable blankets. He finds a ribbon in his house that used to belong to Reo, and wears it, and it feels like she's here when he brushes his hair. They both used to do that for each other; Reo chattering about anything and everything as Nagi listened with focused intent, brushing her hair. Then they'd switch, and Reo would do Nagi's hair, maybe playfully decorate him with stickers and bows too— and Nagi would just sit there, content to let it happen.
It's little things like that that pile up. Nagi knows boys can like those things too, that style has no gender, but— if anyone can be who they are, if one could express those inner feelings on the outside, then— then, maybe..
I might be a girl, Nagi quietly realizes one day. I wanna be like those girls in soft sweaters.
Half of her heart goes ah, cool.
Then the other half trembles with the realization that Reo was right.
Halfway through high school, Reo cuts her hair short and begins wearing the boy's uniform. The entire school is shocked, then awed, then Reo is cemented as the school's almighty prince. She gets more play than the average boy at school, and she kinda enjoys it— this perception of herself, even if she rejects everyone who asks her out.
Reo can't help but glow at every formal party she attends with her parents when something like this happens: they meet an elderly couple, people with considerable influence in their field, and they ooo and aaa over the Mikage heir, the handsome son of their parents. Her mother and father would laugh to cover themselves up— they try to contain their displeasure at the assumption, but Reo can see through it— as they correct the statement, loudly defending that Reo is actually their daughter, their daughter who simply likes to crossdress. Their daughter who was normal. When this doesn't seem to damper the elderly couple's enthusiasm ("Oh, apologies— she's a handsome girl!"), Reo snickers to herself internally. Especially because after one point, her parents start going out of their way to introduce Reo as our beautiful lovely daughter or something among those lines.
(It's so… obvious. Obvious how much they hate that they don't want her to be "like this." Isn't that shallow? They're not even trying to hide it?)
As they do that and explain that despite their daughter's quirks, she would be a great marriage candidate, Reo stands by them: internally smug, a charming smile on her face. She's as dapper as a penguin in her suit, stylish like a dashing prince. Her parents— they've contradicted themselves. Even they couldn't decide if she was normal or not. Reo knows they won't accept her either way— that she's biding her time and waiting to play her cards, that one day she'll truly be something she made herself.
Reo cuts half of her bangs, so one side is a half shorter than the other. She goes to school that day, showered with compliments and surrounded by her peers as she walks down the hallway. She finds herself happily agreeing when a student tells her that she's hotter than any guy. That's when Reo thinks— Well, I'm basically a guy, aren't I?
She catches a glimpse of her reflection in the school's trophy case; tilts her head, to see the way her newly cut bangs move. She sees a man, cool and charming and clever. Something in his vibrant eyes flickers like a light, a feeling tucked deep within his heart, tinging light.
If he saw me now… would Nagi recognize me anymore?
The moment that she graduates high school, Nagi skips town with nothing but a backpack and a bike. She has a knitted pouch slung over her shoulder like a bag, where Choki settles— of course, he'd be coming along on all her adventures too.
She rides past those memories of that little boy riding on the backseat of the bicycle as the little girl pedals them forward, and leaves them behind. It's a mixed feeling— she's not that same person anymore. She's someone new— like a butterfly from a cocoon. But at the same time… would being this new Nagi mean leaving Reo behind…? Nagi hates the thought of leaving what she has left of Reo— but it is what's happening, isn't it…? It's all she has left of Reo, and now… now it's complicated.
That's why I'll find her again, Nagi thinks, determined. So we can be together again. So that Reo will meet the new me. So I can show you who I am now, and so that you can show me the new you.
I want to see you again... I want to talk to you... I want to live in your light once more...
Nagi misses Reo terribly. Sometimes it's like she's never left— like she's still here. Then Nagi remembers— she still wears Reo's old ribbons. Are they really still hers anymore? She hasn't touched them in so long. Yes, they were once Reo's, but now they're more of Nagi's. Reo disappearing is a scary thought that puts a crease in her brow.
You're not here anymore, aren't you, Reo…?
I'll find you…
We'll find each other…
You promised.
There's not a day where I forgot you.
The world outside Nagi's small town is magic.
Magic was in the little things, in her hometown— in good food, in years old forums with persistently helpful answers, in the laughter she would hear outside when the fireworks were going off while she hid under the blanket in her room, a bit scared of the loud noise.
There was nature's magic, the glowing fairies in the forests and the creatures in the riverbank— there were witches, and spells, and huge clouds in the sky that hid floating cities and animals and people. There were ways you could get up there— there were potions, and spells, and books…
I wonder how much of the world Reo has seen, Nagi ponders as she scrapes by with the cheap bread she bought from a market stall. I wonder if she'll want to see it with me.
There's a comet in the sky that night. Nagi finds a comfortable tree in the outskirts of the town she's currently in, and watches the stream of light. She makes a wish— a wish that Reo is watching the same comet, at this very moment.
There's all kinds of places. Big valleys, slooping twirly mountains, rainbow roads, floating islands… bustling cities, to quiet villages, to hidden waterfalls…
With Choki by her side, she travels far and wide.
"So I'll just keep searching, 'cause then I'll have to find her eventually," Nagi explains to the blacksmith's son Zantetsu, currently helping her fix parts of her bike, goggles covering his eyes. "It's totally foolproof."
Zantetsu hums. "That's pretty smart."
Nagi nods.
"Have you asked around for her?" Zantetsu asks.
"Sometimes," says Nagi. "They know her, but not who she is. So I just stopped."
"Unfortunate," says Zantetsu. "I do hope you see her again soon."
"Thanks."
"How long have you been looking?"
Nagi shrugs. "It feels like forever."
"Dang. That's a long time."
"Yeah."
"What are you gonna do when you see her again?" Zantetsu asks curiously.
"Uh, be with her?" Nagi answers like it's obvious. "The plan is just to find her. Anything else that happens after, I'm totally fine with, because then our promise will be fulfilled."
"Ohhhh. Does that mean you won't propose?"
"Propose what?"
"To marry her," Zantetsu pauses, then looks up— scrunching up his nose in confusion. "If you don't have a ring, I can help you get one. My dad's shop doubles as my mom's jewelry store."
"…Sure, actually, a ring sounds nice."
Nagi Seishirou has a dream about Mikage Reo— which is a pretty common thing, but something about this time feels different.
She's standing in the middle of the ocean's surface, moon hung high in the sky, dark beautiful blues swirling all around her. The stars reflect in the water, and she's surronuded by the sounds of the ocean moving. Nagi looks down and sees her reflection— until she hears the sound of Reo's voice. Then she looks up.
"Reo…?" she whispers, somehow knowing that Reo will hear her.
"Nagi, do you remember our promise?"
"Of course I do," Nagi says, quiet. The stars flicker, brightening with every word that Reo says, as if Reo possesses the sky.
"Then we'll meet again," says Reo. The next part that's said is a whisper. "I'll find you, Nagi! Meet me in…"
Nagi wakes up from the bed of grass where she lay, her heart racing, her eyes wide—
She knows exactly where to go.
With how bustling the steam-powered city is, it's totally possible that Nagi and Reo may have passed each other a couple times on the moving platforms already without knowing. But whatever.
Nagi is taking a lift to the floating islands above this area, where water pours out of the sky rivers and into the steam city below via giant tower that brings people back and forth from the ground. It's there, that Reo has to be— she will be there.
The moment she takes a single step onto the clouds, rolling the bike along with her, Nagi is avidly searching for Reo— in between buildings, in the town's center where the well is, the candy shop, the shoeshine place—
Nagi runs out into the cloud farm, the color twilight's laugh tugging at the bursting blues of the sky, mixing together like paint. Nagi reaches her and up to the ribbon in her hair for reassurance, carressing its softness.
"Nagi!"
Nagi's head jerks up abruptly. She carefully sets down the back; hands raised in alertness.
"Nagi, over here!"
Nagi is turning in every direction, furiously peering through the shifting clouds they stand on— she steps down so hard on one of them, that it starts to rain underneath. She disregards it, running towards the sound— running towards the call of her name— running towards that smidge of purple in the fluffy whites and deep blues— running towards Reo.
Reo sees her too, now, sprinting to her with open arms. It's fast, it's so fast, even if they're a distance apart. They're colliding, like a train off its tracks, like a rock against the stream, like a meteor and the random planet in its way, like Nagi and Reo.
A promise is finally fulfilled when they crash into each other's arms and don't let go.
"It's you!" Reo laughs, joy and relief and pure happiness threading through the sound of his voice.
"It's me," Nagi replies, holding a celestial body in her arms.
"What took you so long?"
"What took you so long?"
They're laughing, and Reo is jumping, and Nagi is squeezing back just as hard, because they're together again, and it's everything! It's giddiness thrumming through their veins, it's their heartbeats skyrocketing, it's their souls leaping and intertwining and latching onto each other and cheering and dancing and living.
Yeah. It's basically everything.
Reo has to forcefully push back to see Nagi's face, for once her chin had hooked over Reo's shoulder, Nagi had never wanted to let go.
"Nagi!" Reo exclaims, happy tears falling down his face, hands coming up to cradle Nagi's cheeks, her eyes impossibly wide and adoring as Reo runs his fingers up and down her skin. "You're beautiful!"
Nagi sighs softly, gazing at the stars in Reo's sharp eyes. "Reo's changed, too. Ikemen Reo is real."
"S-stop that," Reo snorts, a blush coloring his face. "Okay, I'm kidding. Don't ever stop. You're my treasure, Nagi." He moves his hands up to comb through Nagi's fluffy hair, grinning as he playfully reaches up to Nagi's choice of hair accessory. "I like your ribbon."
Nagi hums, bringing a hand up to feel the fabric covering Reo's shoulder in between her fingers. "I like your hoodie."
Reo blushes even harder. Wow, this is awesome. He coughs, eyes darting away from Nagi's face, scanning her body to see—
"Choki!" Reo sparkles, face brightening once again when he crouches to see the little cacti designated pouch.
"I knitted it myself," Nagi says, puffing up.
"That's the coolest thing ever, Nagi. Like, legitimately. The coolest thing ever," Reo declares proudly, admiring the colored threads knitted together to create the cactus holder. "I'm so excited to meet you all over again, there's so much that we have to talk abou—Oi!"
Nagi has tackled Reo, attaching herself to him in a hug again— Reo staggers backwards, unsteady on the cloudy surface.
"Hey, Reo."
"Nagi, we're gonna fall—"
"I have a question for you."
"What is it? —Don't lean all your weight on me!"
"Reo, will you—"
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!"
The cloud floor beneath them rips; tearing open, leaving a gaping hole that wind and gravity sucks them into.
Nagi leaned all her weight on Reo so hard, that they broke through the clouds— toppling off each other, and falling down the colossal space of the sky.
Colors and lights and gravity. All of them, natural phenomenon. Warm fuzzy memories, and bright new experiences— crystal clear and real and here.
It's no question that Nagi and Reo find themselves reaching for each other, even as Nagi takes the fall with grace, and Reo is screaming and waving his limbs around as he gets used to the feeling of his stomach plummeting. And his whole body plummeting, really. The wind whips their hair, loud and strong and in gusts. They're dropping to the ground, really fast, even if it's super far away.
"Nagi, take my hand!!" Reo yells over the wind he can feel through his clothes. "I know a floating spell!"
"Okay," says Nagi, reaching out, her ribbons flying up. "But you have to answer my question."
"I'll answer your damn question!! Just take my hand already!"
The wind resists the two of them from reaching their hands out, but they fight it— their motions wonky, but certain when they heavily clasp down on each other, hands dipping down before zipping back up.
Reo closes his eyes and begins to mutter the floatation spell, and it steadily starts to work, slowing down their rapid fall through clouds and sky and passing birds. Nagi removes a small object from her pocket, and loosens her grip on Reo's hand so that she's only holding the bottom of it; freeing his fingers, so that they lightly coast over Nagi's hand. Reo's eyebrow twitches and his nose scrunches when he feel a cool, metal sensation sliding onto his ring finger.
The floatation spell is in full effect, the air now feeling comfortable and breezy and cool. Reo smiles in relief. He can now fully and safely admire the way that Nagi looks like a painting among the vivid colors of the sky and the puffs of the clouds and the emerging, twinkling lights. Those big, universe holding eyes of hers— containing a question that Reo doesn't realize until his eyes follow where Nagi's other hand is, and he sees his hand resting atop Nagi's, and the ring she put on his finger. He gasps, his exhale forming visible fog, cheeks going rosy in the high atmosphere.
"Reo," Nagi says, intent and smiling softly and sweet; wind sifting through her hair, making Reo's heart go ba-dump. "Will you marry me?"