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Pixal didn't think much of it when she connected herself to the Bounty’s computer. She didn't consider the consequences when she hacked into Borg's system.
She hadn't thought about the consequences of leaving Zane.
Contrary to what he believed, Pixal had been online during the entire infiltration of the Vermillion den. But she wasn't ready for him to know that. She needed to find her father and she couldn't afford to get distracted by other tasks.
But she still listened. And she was patient, never revealing her hand in matters. She listened as Zane asked for her to do a vehicle analysis, only to have to do it himself. She listened as Zane asked her to scan for Cyrus’ biometrics, only to have to do it himself.
She listened as Zane lost Cyrus and declared himself useless without her.
Pixal was built to assist. Her entire purpose is to help people and ever since Zane gave her half his heart, she has dedicated herself to aiding Zane and the rest of the Ninja.
She's meant to be depended on. But something about this felt so… wrong.
She should be flattered. She should feel fulfilled knowing that he needs her so much. She should be proud that she has lived up to her purpose, to the point that he can't function properly without her.
But that's the problem, isn't it?
When did Zane go from occasionally needing her assistance to functionally dependent on her? Is this a new development? Or did it start after the back to back ghost missions? Or was it Zane inserting her into his hard drive? Or could it be when Zane gave her half his heart? Impairing his spinjitzu unless he had her by his side?
What if her presence really is actively hindering him? What if she’s not allowing him to grow?
The circumstances that led to her becoming the new Samurai X, while terrible in the heat of the moment, may have led to a net positive outcome. This may be for the best… for both of them.
Pixal has grown to love Zane so, so much. She doesn’t like to imagine her life without him. But as it was, she was stuck. And she hates that it took Zane malfunctioning for her to realize that.
Being unable to communicate to the rest of the team did nothing but slow them down and prolong Zane’s repairs. What if something like that were to happen again? She cannot sit on the sidelines anymore. Her code won’t allow it.
No, it's better for her to be out here. She can still assist from a far and at a much larger scale. She’s able to help so many people as Samurai X. Not just the ninja, but innocent civilians who need her to provide aid. This was the fulfillment she was looking for. This is serving her purpose.
She can't go back to the computer, not fully. And Zane… will have to grow used to that.
Having sorted her thoughts and making her decisions, Pixal decided it was time to reveal herself to the ninja. Zane would only grow more worried the longer she remained “offline”.
Her father was safe at Borg Tower. Her new body was hidden in the Sam X cave. Everything's set.
“Hello?” she called through the Bounty’s speakers, “Can anyone hear me?”
Despite the late hour, she was quickly met with a flurry of voices as the ninja rushed to the monitors.
“PIX–”
“Pixal!”
“Is it really you!?”
“Its been so long since we've heard your voice!”
That struck her. It had been a long time since any of the ninja, aside from Zane, had heard from Pixal directly. She's heard all of their voices and seen all of their battles and yet, they never saw her. She hadn't spoken to any of them since before… before…
She was so disconnected from them.
“It feels nice to speak to you all. I'm glad I took the opportunity to connect to the Bounty’s systems when I did.”
Zane pushed his way to the front of the group, smiling as he addressed her. “Pixal! I'm so happy to hear your voice! I was starting to get worried.”
Jay laughed, “He was totally lost without you! He spent a good chunk of the fight wishing you were there to guide him!” Zane frowned.
“I see,” she acknowledged. She already knew that, but to hear the other ninja also noticed, well, it further proves her point that Zane needs to continue without her.
“We know you were just worried, buddy,” Cole clapped Zane on the back, “But now Pixie Stix is back and we can all go back to normal.”
Zane nodded, turning back to the monitor, “I have to ask, is something keeping you from reconnecting to my system?”
“No,” she answered evenly, “But I wanted to address that with you. Alone.”
“Of course,” he agreed sincerely, “Would you like to clear the bridge or–”
“Yes, please. I think… I think that will make this easier.”
The ninja looked at each other with a mixture of confusion and concern before clearing the room. And then it was just her and Zane.
It was odd seeing him like this. From behind a screen. It took her back to… to Chen's Island. Back when he saved her for the third time.
Zane’s eyes were serious, brows turned up in concern. “What is it you want to talk about? What is wrong?”
If she were human, this would be the moment she takes a breath. “Zane, I don't think I should return to your processor.”
“What!” he took a step back, as if physically struck by the phrase. “Wh-why?”
“Today has proven that I cannot always be available to aid you. And your performance without me…”
“Suffered. I let my emotions get in the way of the mission. I was so caught up in my worry over you, I failed to retrieve your father. I left my siblings to fight their battles alone. I–”
“You implied that you were worthless, Zane.”
He blinked, “You… heard that?”
She inwardly cursed herself. She wasn't supposed to know that if she was “offline”.
No going back now. “Yes,” she answered honestly, “Zane, you know that's not true.”
“I… I do.”
“You have been a part of this team much longer than I have. And you had always fulfilled your role in it. You are a vital asset here. And you are vital to me.” And oh, how she wished she could be physically there to smile as softly as he had at her all those years ago.
He smiled up at the screen, before his gaze fell to the floor. “So, I've become inefficient?”
“I think… you've become over-reliant on me. You need room to grow into the person you were without me.”
“But I don't want to be without you! Pixal–”
“I shall remain here,” she cut him off. She's been doing that a lot. She almost feels bad. “On the Bounty computer, I can aid the entire team. I will not be far.”
Zane gave no sign that he agreed, but he didn't protest any further.
“Zane, how much do you remember of the time between your fight with the Overlord and Chen's island?”
His brow furrowed, “Not… much.”
“And did you ever explore your new body without me instructing you to?”
“No,” he shook his head, “I always followed your guidance.”
“I think that's the problem,” she said carefully, “We've spent so much time together, we don't know who we are when we're apart.”
Pixal herself didn't get much time to process her newfound emotions without Zane at her side. And then he sacrificed himself and it was like everything revolved around him. She's never fully realized who she is with her sentience.
“I understand,” he nodded, looking back up at the screen, “I trust your judgement, Pixal. And I’m glad. This way you’ll be able to speak to the others as well.”
“Yes,” she agreed easily, “I’m very excited for that.”
He smiled, leaning forward to rest his hands on the console, as if he were reluctant to go. As far as he knows, this is the farthest they’ve been apart from each other in a very long time.
“Zane,” she said softly. She wished she could make this easier. Wished she could be physically there to better reassure him.
But Pixal is oh-so selfish and wishes to keep her secrets for now.
“You will be okay,” she promised.