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Ash has never been more happy and relaxed than now. It scares him a little bit, he's not used to this kind of lifestyle. Still expects danger in every move, still ready to protect who he needs to protect. But there's no need, it's been more than a year since the incident and no sign of mafia has been noticed. He guesses it's actually over, but it's never wrong to be ready.
Japan is more beautiful than he thought it would be. Of course it's drastically different from the US and New York, people are different (they're very short in his opinion), there's a lot of trees and grass, it's very calm... Izumo reminds him of Cape cod a little bit, and somewhere deep in his heart, Ash knows that these similarities make him feel at ease. It makes him think of Griffin. It'd be nice to take him here.
Eiji's family seems nice and welcoming, but Ash knows they don't trust him, and he doesn't blame them. He wouldn't trust himself either. They try to act like a perfect family, which makes Eiji uncomfortable and angry, but he thinks Ash doesn't notice (he does, obviously). Eiji's sister, Rina, is very loud but funny and full of love, sometimes it seems like she likes Ash more than her brother, which also infuriates Eiji and amuses Ash. Rina is now 12, her puberty will hit sooner or later and most likely she will become less likeable and more sassy, Eiji worries about it a lot and prepares to be the best brother in any situation (if possible). She's actually a really smart girl, she's doing well in school and understands the complexity of Ash and Eiji's relationship without even asking, so she doesn't. She just knows that they care a lot about each other and nothing in the world could tear them apart. When the boys aren't home, she usually calls crying and asking to come get her because their parents are arguing again. They do just that without a second thought. Ash almost mastered his japanese and is helping Rina with english, both of them talk in each other's languages to practice. Eiji thinks it's cute and joins their little lessons.
With money that was left and with Eiji's little help, Ash rented a small apartment nearby a few months after moving to Japan. He lived at Okumuras' for awhile, but it started to feel awkward, so it was definitely time to do something about it. His landlady was absolutely smitten with Ash and his american accent, so it was an easy peasy deal. But finding a job was a lot harder. No one wanted to hire a young american with a beginner-level japanese and no experience, so they had to act with some help. Luckily Ibe has lots of connections and was able to get him a spot in the city's library as a book arranger. Not much, but something. He is very thankful to Ibe.
Eiji is still working for Ibe as his assistant, but he's improved drastically and is starting to get booked for minor photoshoots. He created an insta account just for his photography and now has a little over a thousand followers. He's very proud and dreams of working for some big magazines in the distant future. Ash knows all of his dreams will come true one way or another, and he will always be by his side.
Even though technically Eiji still lives with his parents, he basically moved in with Ash. He sleeps at his every night, has his own drawer, his own toothbrush, his shampoos and gels are mixed with Ash's, he has his mug and house slippers... You got the memo. When Ash is at work, he waits for him patiently usually occupying himself with editing or small chores like the laundry or dusting. If Ash has a day-off, he sleeps all day waiting for Eiji, because he knows he will come. Both of them refer to the apartment as home.
Trauma is a thing that ruins life. It can hide in your mind and show no sings, and next day it hits you like a wave, makes you remember every little thing, shakes you to the core once again. Healing process is different for everyone, but nonetheless it takes time and effort. The best thing is not to deal with your emotions alone, and Ash is very lucky with that.
Some days he will wake up sweating and crying, shaking uncontrollably, and forgetting where he is. All the memories come back flooding, his whole body feels like it's on fire, like it's dirty and used again, he feels millions of eyes on him and hears clicks of cameras around him with heinous laughter following. On shaking legs and with a blurry mind he goes to the bathroom, trying to escape the madness that has been following him his entire life. He just sits on cold tiles, rocking front to back and covering his ears. It's a nightmare, every time it feels like he actually died and woke up in hell and it's his punishment for the crimes he'd done. But there's Eiji.
He's always there.
"Ash?", a sleepy voice echoes off the bedroom walls. Eiji's hand automatically reaches for the other side of the bed which is barely warm. "Where are you?"
Without his slippers on he inspects the apartment, almost immediately catching a silent whisper.
"Go away go away goaway goawaygoaway-"
"Ash!", Eiji ran to the bathroom and plopped onto his knees in front of Aslan. "Sweetheart, please talk to me."
Gently and carefully he put his hand on Aslan's knee to catch his attention. He flinched and looked at Eiji with crazy eyes, looking like a beaten up kitten on the street. Eiji is about to cry. Aslan is already crying.
"Tshhh, you're okay. I'm here. I won't hurt you", Eiji is quiet, he took his hand away and pulled back a little bit to give Aslan the space he needs. They've been through this. "Do you want water?", he nods. "Okay, let's go get you some water. Can you stand?", he nods again and stands up, helping himself with putting a hand on the bathtub. Eiji extended his hand, waiting for Aslan to take it, and when he does, he leads him to the bedroom.
"Be here, I will be back in a few seconds, promise", Eiji opened the window for some fresh air and left to the kitchen. Aslan sat on the bed and fell backwards, covering his face. He's still shaking.
"Here", after 20 seconds Eiji appeared again and sat on the edge of the bed, "Take a deep breath."
Aslan opened his eyes and inhaled, his face all red from crying non-stop. He sat up and took a cup in his hand, taking little sips of water. After he finished, he put the cup on the drawer, moved further on the bed and took his knees to his chin. He's silent.
Eiji's just looking, observes his moves and behavior, but wants to do so much more.
"I'm sorry", the first thing that comes out of Aslan's mouth.
"Do not be."
"Did I wake you up?"
"Yes, but it's okay. Are you feeling better?"
"I guess." It's silence again, Aslan is still keeping his eyes closed and is talking from under his knees. "Thank you."
"Did you have another nightmare?" Eiji shifted closer, bringing his legs on the bed as well.
"I don't remember. I just... got really fucking scared and tried to run." His voice has stabilized and his breath calmed down. Eiji is now sitting in front of him.
"Did you see something?"
"Kinda... maybe."
"Is that why you won't look at me?"
Now he's looking. Aslan hadn't even realized that he didn't look at Eiji once. The flashes and blurriness are now gone, it's only muted light and Eiji's worried face in the room. He's so beautiful.
Aslan smiled.
"What?"
Eiji smiled, too.
"I dunno, I'm just happy to see you." Eiji giggled.
"You saw me right before we went to sleep, idiot."
Now they're both laughing like nothing happened and Aslan is wiping his last tears away. "Come here", he said.
Eiji sat beside him and put his head on the other's shoulder.
"You saved me once again, onii-chan. Thank you."
"You have saved me a lot more times than I have." Aslan took Eiji's hand and started playing with his fingers, intertwining them with his. He turned his head and kissed Eiji's crown of the head, breathing in. Blueberry shampoo.
Eiji is very thankful for the darkness in the room, because he blushed a little bit from this. Smiling, he looked at Ash and put their foreheads together.
Suddenly, Ash sighed, "I can't imagine my life without you."
It took Eiji by surprise
"What?" He looked at Ash with his big surprised eyes and was met with a gaze full of love and admiration. Why is he like this?
"I've been thinking about this recently. You know, while putting away the books. And it's just... I can't, you know?" What is this boy even saying? Now Eiji is a lot more red that before.
"You're stupid", gotten shy, Eiji put his eyes down and bit his lip down, trying to hide his smile.
"I'm serious! You're, like, the most important person on the planet to me." Eiji is looking out the window, not saying anything. They're still holding hands. "And I'm so scared of hurting you, or pushing you away. Because I'm... broken, one could say", he laughed with no humor behind it. "Sor-"
"Stop talking", Eiji covered Aslan's mouth with his hand and looked him in the eyes, still red from the words he heard but now also angry from the other ones. Aslan licked his hand. "Eww! Fuck!" He yelled as he was wiping his palm on Aslan's shoulder, who was dying laughing.
"Just wanted you to know that", he said after they've calmed down and were both lying and facing each other.
"You're not broken, Ash, do not say that. After everything we have been through, I do not think there is anything that could push me away from you. It's just not possible."
Eiji has no idea. He has no idea just how much he means to Ash. Every night, when they go to bed, Eiji falls asleep first, and Ash just looks, admires, takes everything in. His chest is ready to explode every time Eiji laughs. Every time they hug he thinks about never letting go. Every time they kiss he forgets his own name, forgets about the whole universe, his past, it's just Eiji. Eiji eiji eiji. He loves his name. Every person he meets hears this name. He loves his big brown eyes and plump lips that Eiji bites when he's busy with work. He loves his long hair that he started to grow out 2 years ago and that smell of blueberry. He loves how he cares for his sister, even though tries to laugh it off. He loves his kindness and compassion. He loves him whole and it's becoming unbearable, he feels absolutely insane and he hides it (kinda?) because he doesn't want Eiji to think of him as a freak or something like that. Ash wants to absolutely devour Eiji Okumura and keep him to himself.
"Ash?" Ash snapped out of trans and realized that he zoned out. He was staring at Eiji this whole time. "Are you with me?"
"Mhm", he just murmured something similar to an answer and kept running his eyes around Eiji's face. "I just...", he tried to fight this urge, he really did, but his thumb still ended up on Eiji's bottom lip. They're so soft.
Both of them lay silent, the only source of sound being their breathing and the clock ticking. They're on edge.
Eiji's hand travels to Ash's chest, he put his palm flat against it to feel the heartbeat. A bit accelerated. He clenched his hand in a fist together with Ash's t-shirt, pulling him closer, so that their nosed touch. Now Ash's thumb is caressing the pink cheek. He gulped.
"You were saying?" Eiji teases him, of course he does, like a little asshole he is. Their lips brush a bit, and to be honest, they're both a second away from going insane.
Eiji closes his eyes and pulls forward, their lips finally touch in a tender kiss. Ash smiles and pulls Eiji closer by the crook of his neck, pressing their lips harder against each other. Usually, their kisses never turn into something filthy. Sure, they can deepen it or start kissing each other's necks, but none of them take it further. Eiji is scared of rushing Ash, scared of making him scared. He wants Ash to know that he'd never do something he doesn't want, he wants to make him feel safe. What he doesn't realize is that Ash is always the first one to take it up a notch. His hands always find a way under Eiji's shirt, pulling him closer by the waist. One time they were making out on the couch, Eiji climbed on Ash's thighs and started grinding, it just felt right. But he got scared of doing too much and immediately ran to the bathroom saying something about having to use it really bad. When he came back he apologized and went to bed, leaving Ash dumbfounded and thinking that it was him who did something wrong. All in all, they are idiots.
But right now they're lying in bed, lips pressed, legs tangled, hands on each other's faces and stupid smiles.
"I feel the same, by the way", Eiji was the first to break the kiss and silence, "If something ever happened to you, i do not know... I would lose my mind, probably."
"Well then the only solution is to just stay like this forever", Aslan whispered and tucked Eiji's hair behind his ear, "let's leave our jobs, get married, and watch soap operas all day, huh? How that sounds?"
"Terrible, actually. I hate soap operas. And you do too." Ash giggled.
"But you like the "get married" part, right?" He teases him and licks his lips, now holding Eiji's ring finger.
"Hmm, maybe a little later I will think about it. Not sure if I could handle being with you every single day..." He pretended to think about it and looked away, trying not to smile.
"Oh yeah, totally. Imagine livin' together. Sounds like a nightmare. Your hair would be everywhere, you'd forget to close the front door constantly, you'd fall asleep without turning the TV off-"
"I do not do that!"
"Baby, you know that you do."
The room filled with laughter. A car drove by outside the window, illuminating the room with the light of its headlights.
"Are you okay?" Eiji asked a few minutes later with a concerned frown, running his eyes all over Aslan's face.
"Yeah," he gigled, "already forgot about it with you right in front of me, to be honest." The palm of his hand found its way under Eiji's shirt, petting his back with an index finger in circles.
"Sooo cheeky," Eiji bit his lower lip, "but I'm happy to be of help."
""Help"? You're literally the light of my life, what are you talkin' about."
"Yeah okay." Eiji rolled his eyes (not in a bad way), got up from the bed and stretched. "The light of your life wants to sleep." Aslan watched him from the bed, smirking to himself. He loves his husband more than anything.
"Go to bed then, acting like I'm in your way or somethin'." Aslan crawled under the blanket and turned to face the wall. He heard a quiet "tsk" behind him that was followed by creaking of the bed. Eiji hugged him from behind, making him the little spoon.
"Sleep well, Aslan."
"You too, baby." he kissed Eiji's knuckles and took them to his chest, falling asleep in this position.
They both couldn't be more grateful for how things turned out for them, for how lucky they are to had been able to escape the horrors of New York and to be together, in safety. They wish Shorter could see all of it, maybe he would move to China with Nadia and open up a restaurant there as well. They miss him, but they prefer to avoid this topic.
Nonetheless, Ash would've never dreamed about such life. He could never imagine loving and caring for someone so deeply and without fear, and receiving it in return.
Sometimes everything feels like he's in a dream, and he will wake up at any moment, surrounded by hell once again.