Chapter Text
Lux dragged their feet through the familiar hall of the closet, following the worn out route to breaker box. The one place they felt they could get help. The light internally begged that Volt and Eddie weren't busy, even if they can't help them they just wanted them there.
There was a blackout. Must be a bad one or something, Lux never focused on what Volt and Eddie discussed during blackouts or thunderstorms. Lux never listened anyway but they wished they'd at least give them the benefit of the doubt and not just assume that they didn't care, they just couldn't focus on anything during blackouts and the brain fog freaked them out so they distracted themself and - who are they explaining this to?
With what little strength they had they opened the breaker box doors, Tony, the human, Volt, and Eddie stood in the middle of the club discussing something, Lux couldn't hear shit through the constant ringing in their ears.
No one looked to their direction, weird, through the darkness of the club Lux should be shining like an oncoming train, they couldn't be ignoring them, they're their family. Maybe not the human and their weird tendency to flirt with everyone. Volt always had beautiful hair that shined like Lux’s. Today it seemed dimmer, but still held the same comfort, like a nightlight…is this what bugs think when they fly towards a zapper?
When they finally came close enough for their parents to notice their presence, they can see their concerned looks, ones that filled the light with nostalgia.
“Lux, are you okay?” Eddie spoke first.
“Light wire, you look sick- Lux!” Volt instinctively caught Lux when they trustingly fell forward.
“This is a little embarrassing but I think I'm gonna pass out.” Lux slurred, all the energy they had in their body traveled to their hands to clutch Volts jacket- speaking of Volt his cologne was nice he smelled citrusy, Lux could sleep like this, yeah.
Next thing Lux felt they were being carried, it wasn't Volt; his arms didn't feel like this. It wasn't Eddie; He wasn't strong enough to carry Lux anymore. The human wouldn't do Lux a favor like this. It was Tony.
Tony was like an uncle to Lux, yeah he was basically their uncle, cringy like one and seemed so cool when Lux was a little light and a total loser when Lux grew up. Lux didn't like it when he called them “shortcake” like, they're not that short. The nickname was cute but insulting, not that Tony was the tallest object anyway.
Who's the tallest object? Probably Wallace.
Who's the shortest?
Is this really the time to think about this?
Volt and Eddie would be mad at them for not focusing.
Where's Volt and Eddie?
They missed them.
Did they leave again?
Is Volt on stage?
Is Eddie behind the bar? Is he polishing a glass? Replacing a burnt out light bulb?
Where's Tony? Lux is no longer in his arms.
The ringing is still loud. But maybe just maybe they could hear Eddie talking. Or it's their mind filling space.
When the ringing stopped, there were no noises. So no one was talking after all.
Consciousness slowly overcame Lux. Something wet wiped their face, it was gentle but thorough, there was a dip next to them in the mattress they were laid on, the citrusy smell came back, so did the voice.
“They're waking up.” Eddie said, with the excitement in his voice you'd think Frankenstein was waking up. Even that shouldn't be new to him.
Lux opened their eyes, their mind was foggy and it ran a million thoughts per hour.
The more conscious their body became, the less conscious their brain was.
They looked to their side to see…a familiar white haired man laid next to them, they should probably know him, they're pretty sure they knew him just a second ago but…no nothing. But he seemed happy, definitely tired judging by the dark circles under his eyes, but happy. He also had a lot of hair like wow- Lux almost wanted to reach in and touch it, it was glowing faintly…like a nightlight.
“Hey, Light wire.” The man said.
“Hi.” Lux answered curtly, they looked to their other side and saw a…less well kept man sitting on a chair, an identical smile on his face.
“Farya said you'd be delirious, are you okay?” He said, like he was amused.
“I dunno.” Lux shrugged. They looked back to the white haired one. “Who are you?...and who is this homeless looking dude?” The white haired one laughed, it was comforting. Lux knew their question was stupid but they couldn't help but ask, they felt like the answer was tucked in deep in their mind and needed someone to reach in and grab it.
“I'm your father. Volt.” Makes sense. “And the homeless looking object is your other father. Eddie.” Obviously.
“That can't be true…Volt is on stage, he has to be, and Eddie is changing a light bulb he's…he's always changing a fuckin lightbulb.” Anger and sadness seeped through Lux's voice, what they said didn't make sense and they knew it but they felt like it made sense, no? Then why did this man - who is not Volt. - look at them like they're fucking crazy!? And why aren't Volt and Eddie here? Breaker box can't be operating during a blackout.
Lux was staring daggers into the ceiling, they couldn't glare at both Volt and Eddie at the same time so they glared at the ceiling, they felt tears falling from the corner of their eyes and down their temples. Calloused hands wiped them, there was another dip on the other side of the bed.
“Lux, you're not thinking clearly, we're right here.” The man who was apparently Eddie looked down at them, his furrowed brows were in worry instead of anger, that felt wrong.
Lux looked between Volt and Eddie, “For once.” They said, their gaze returning to the ceiling to stare blankly at it.
When the ceiling got boring, they stared at Volt, who stared back, he was smiling but it was a guilty smile. Which was weird because Lux wasn't mad.
“Your hair's nice.” Lux said, the guilt leaving Volt's features.
“Thank you, yours is nicer.” He reached forward and ran his hand through Lux's hair, and removed a strand of hair they didn't notice was in their eyes.
“Shouldn't it be glowing brighter?” Just a feeling.
“Yes, but the power is out right now, dear. We're all tired.” Lux nodded.
They looked towards Eddie who was still looking down at them, “You have wires in your hair.”
“I know.” He answered neutrally. Lux reached up to touch the wires, Eddie raised an eyebrow but let them regardless.
Nothing special, just wires and copper.
Lux took a moment to look around the room they were in, it wasn't their room but they've definitely been here before.
“Where are we?”
“Me and Volt's room.”
Ah. Makes sense.
Lux didn't have anything else to ask about. The silence of the room wasn't awkward, there was no urgency to talk. Lux was tired, God, they were tired. But they couldn't sleep, too tired to sleep, is that a thing? Oh fuck their leg.
The light must've winced because both Eddie and Volt asked what's wrong in unison.
“My leg…my knee…I want to sleep.”
“Okay, buddy.” Eddie got off the bed and covered Lux and Volt with the blanket.
Eddie had a smile on his face while looking at Lux, there was nothing to smile about at the moment, but Lux didn't feel like asking. His hand lingered as it adjusted the covers, tenderly rubbing their shoulder before leaning down and placing a kiss to their forehead, his stubble scratched their face irritatingly.
“Your sorry excuse for a beard is prickly.” Lux complained.
“My sorry excuse for a- go to sleep, Lux.” Eddie half-yelled, it was funny to Lux, to Volt too because he let out a tired laugh.
Lux turned over and closed their eyes, an arm was wrapped around them, and they fell asleep before they knew it; looking at Volt's glowing hair made them sleep faster, with even just the presence of it with their eyes closed had an effect.
Lux ran warm, it was just something they were born with, constantly warm and often gave their parents fever scares. Summer is a nightmare and winter is bliss. Naturally - Lux was never cold. So when they woke up feeling their limbs freezing and their lips chapped, they were sure they're sick.
Despite the unnatural chill, Lux couldn't move a limb or open their eyes, they were stuck in a limbo of being awake and dreaming, scenes with their parents played in their mind. Mundane and boring, yawn inducing and pointless, and it felt terrible when a scene ended but quickly relaxed when it dragged on the next one. They never thought they'd describe boredom as “warm” but that's what it felt like, and that's what they chased.
They knew it was a dream, their body is still cold, but maybe, just maybe if they focus really hard on their dreams they'd fall completely into subconsciousness.
Maybe if they focus on the tasks Eddie gave them they'd stay, they'd earn something for once instead of it being handed to them on a silver platter.
It was a warm bar, Lux was mixing drinks, Eddie was giving them instructions, before they could comprehend the syllables of their father's words, they're knocked into another dream.
A warm stage, no fright, just Volt standing in front of them, they're behind the curtains. Volt was demonstrating something to them, even with incomprehensible words their father was undeniably charming the audience.
A warm living room, they're sitting between their parents, whatever was on TV wasn't worth focusing on. Their task was important, whatever it was they clearly failed to do it because they're no longer with Volt and Eddie.
A warm cafe must be RoofBucks. Phoenicia, their friend of a few years- scratch that, their best friend was sitting in front of them talking about something, but of course they didn't understand.
A warm…Street? Apartment? Eternal darkness? It doesn't matter, there was a piece of paper in their hand and their childhood friend Skips was there, this time he's waiting for them to say something. When Lux looked at the paper in their hands they recognized the drawing of a game of hangman. The internal celebration was cut short.
A warm workshop with Uncle Tony. Just listening to him talk and give terrible advice, understanding the words didn't matter.
A warm office with Mayor Celia and Ms. Florence. They gave up on understanding words, they only understood the look the women gave each other.
Muffled noises reached Lux's ears, the sound of their name knocked Lux into complete consciousness, where they'd have to face their cold limbs.
They opened their eyes slowly, they faced a sleeping Volt, his hair was back to it's normal brightness. There was no one in the room talking, the voices came from behind the bedroom door, they recognized Eddie's voice immediately, a soft voice with it…
“-I know, doctor. But they'll be okay right?”
Farya. He was talking to Farya, probably about them and Volt.
“They'll certainly be back to normal, but I can't tell you how long that will take. This is more of an electricity issue than a medical one.”
That's odd…Volt looked fine, exhausted sure but not terribly so. And they felt fine, they're just cold.
“It was a mass blackout, it'll take a while for things to go back to normal.”
That was the human talking.
“I'm afraid I did all I could, just…keep the kid under close inspection.”
Uncle Tony said, they never heard him sound this serious before.
“You don't gotta tell me.” Eddie affirmed.
Their voices kept getting lower and lower, the sound of their footsteps indicated that they walked away.
Without something distracting the light, the chill in their limbs made them shudder, Volt still had an arm around them, and it was warm like he was a living heater. They shuffled closed into Volt, tucking their head under his chin, it's been years since they cuddled their dad but the cold was too irritating for them to feel embarrassed.
Arms wrapped around Lux, surrounding them with warmth, they felt like they could fall asleep again although they had just woken up. A kiss was planted on the top of their head. Those two were very affectionate recently. Remind them to get sick more often. Lux shook their head at the horrible thought.
“For how long was I asleep?” Lux asked, their voice was croaky.
“13 hours give or take.” Volt answered, Lux could hear the smile in his voice.
“Why am I still tired?”
“The power outage affected you more than us this time…it'll be okay however. I promise.” Volt reassured, Lux wasn't even worried but reassurance flowed out of Volt's mouth no matter what. Maybe he was reassuring himself more than Lux, more than he was reassuring others.
“Are you okay?” Lux asked, Volt was still in bed too for some reason.
“I am now.” Their father hugged them tighter.
“That's very corny, BTW. What show did you steal that from?”
Volt chuckled through his nose, “Stranger Things.”
“They do not say that in Stranger Things.” The light meekly raised their voice.
“Did you watch Stranger Things?” Volt sassed.
“No.” “Then I guess we'll never know.”
Lux rolled their eyes, they couldn't help the stupid grin that was glued to their face.
Lux didn't want to fall asleep again but Volt's hair made them feel sleepy…that was weird with a capital “W”.
“What time is it?” “I don't know.” Volt answered but didn't make any effort to let go, Lux was kinda glad he didn't. Another hour or two wouldn't hurt.
The door opened and Eddie walked in, upon seeing both Lux and Volt awake his dull expression changed to something more lively.
“You guys are awake.” He stood at Lux's side of the bed.
“About to fall asleep actually.” Lux waved their hand dismissively.
Eddie's lips curved to a sinister smile, “Oh, great, I can take a couple more pictures.”
Lux's eyes widened and they got themself up and out of Volt's arms with an impressive speed. “You did not.”
“Won't admit or deny anything.” Eddie teased.
Something like that would ruin Lux's reputation…well, would it? Clingy adults are kinda cringe but is it really that serious if they cuddle their dad while they are on the brink of death? No one would even see the picture. Lux's internal monologue was louder than normal, one thought dragged another.
“Light wire?” Volt - who also sat up - waved his hand in front of Lux's face.
“Oh, hi.” Lux snapped out of their thoughts.
“Hey.” Eddie's playful tone was gone. Lux didn't miss the worried look the two exchanged.
“Stop, I'm fine.”
“We're sure you are.” No point in arguing with Eddie.
Eddie's attention turned to his husband, a sickeningly sweet smile danced on their faces. “Glad to see you're alright too.” “I'd never leave you alone for long, spark.” Volt paid no mind to Lux and leaned forward to pull Eddie's shoulder and meet him halfway in a chaste kiss.
“Can you guys not do that with me right between you?” Lux scoffed.
They broke the kiss, “Don't be a child.” said Eddie, he must be in a really good mood if he keeps trying to get a rise out of his kid.
Lux pushed them both in opposite directions with no resistance from either of them and elicited a laugh from Volt. They got off the bed.
They lost balance for a second- their legs shaking like a newborn fawn. Eddie reached to catch Lux but they held out their hand to stop him, they just stood up too quickly.
Lux wordlessly walked out of their parents room and headed to their own.
Whoever was in the mirror was not Lux. The light's dim eyes traveled from one point of their reflection to another, they’d look like normal eyes if it wasn't for lack of pupils. Their hair lost its brightness and saturation, leaving it this greyish yellow color. They no longer had their ring light halo.
Their face was bare from make-up, they remembered someone wiping their face in their sleep. Their real face had blonde lashes and luminous freckles dusting their nose and cheeks, devoid of their light they were just white dots, it made them look sick, more than their dark eye bags and paler skin did.
When their eyes shifted away from their face they met the reflection of a different pair of eyes. Lux spun around - a little too quickly - to face Eddie, standing in the doorway with an unreadable expression.
“Can't you knock?! Who opens the door on someone like that.” Lux scowled.
“I didn't open anything, you left the door wide open, Lux.”
The door was in fact wide open flat against the wall, they couldn't confirm that they remembered closing the door. Their walk to their room was a blur.
“Well are you just here to stare at me?” They crossed their arms.
“I just.” He sighed. “Got worried and came here to find you looking at yourself, you stood there for like - what? Five minutes?”
“It has not been that long.”
There was a pause between the two, Eddie gave them an all-too-familiar look that meant he wasn't playing around.
“...Okay, maybe it was, but like whatevs there aren't any laws against looking in the mirror. I'm pretty sure.”
“This isn't about being vain Lux.” His expression softened but his voice was just as firm. He took a step into the room.
Lux tilted their head, signaling him to continue.
“Look, I know you look and feel different but this is temporary, and because I know you're just as stubborn as your dad, we'll have to keep an eye on you.”
Focusing on Eddie's words made Lux physically exhausted, latching on to every word and comprehending them slowly. It took a moment after Eddie stopped talking for Lux to realize he's waiting for them to say something.
They understood the words, but all they could muster up was “Which dad?”
Eddie was unamused “Either of us.”
Something else was meant to be said, the words hung silent around Lux, waiting to be released, all Lux had to do was choose. Eddie always spoke his mind, sometimes that caused him to slip up and come off as rude, so he'd settle for avoidance and silence, Lux saw it in the reflected light bouncing off of his glass of whiskey after Breaker Box closes for the day.
Lux knew they were spacing out again, Eddie was waiting.
“OMG, why do I keep zoning out!?” Lux pinched their nose bridge.
“Blackou-” “Blackout yes! I know!” Lux lashed out. Eddie didn't look offended by their yelling, although if Lux got yelled at like that they wouldn't let anyone hear the end of it. Eddie isn't a pushover either, he shouldn't let Lux yell like that but he let Lux do anything ever.
“I don't know why I'm yelling, I'm sorry.” Lux apologized in an uncharacteristically somber tone, Eddie looked at them with a dumbfounded look like they just spoke in a foreign language.
“It's…fine.”
Another awkward staring contest with the man that raised them. Lux got sick of the
repetitiveness and Moved passed him to their wardrobe. “Okayyyy I'd love to stand here and do nothing but I've slept for more than half a day and I have to shower. I've never felt this gross.”
While they were pulling out clothes they didn't hear the sound of Eddie's footsteps leaving. “Are you sure you'll be okay?”
“I am not having you in the bathroom while I shower.”
“That's not what I said or meant. I'm telling you to be careful and not fall and crack your head open.”
Lux clutched the piece of clothing in their hands. “Oh my god, why would you say that!?”
“You know why.” The bedroom door closed.
They should ask Farya if hyperfocusing on words was one of their symptoms. They hated when Eddie was right. The hot water coursed down their cold body, relaxing their muscles and subsiding the pain in their legs, the pain and tension were replaced with fatigue, their legs could no longer hold them up. Frankly, they were scared of standing up. “-not fall and crack your head open.”
Paying no mind to how long they've been sitting in the shower, Lux watched the water as it hit the blue tiles, with both valves turned all the way to drown out the murmurs outside.
They couldn't stay in there forever, they knew it, they were also not asking for help, Eddie and Volt would get all in their head and actually keep an eye on them 24/7. And also, it was embarrassing.
Having no other choice, Lux got out of the shower at a painfully slow pace, dried themself and got dressed.
Lux opened the bathroom door to be greeted with the cold chill of outside air, and Phoenicia. They seemed to have caught her mid-pace, her expression was all kinds of worried, like she was waiting for her in-labor spouse, Lux laughed at the thought.
“Lux!” She exclaimed, sprinting over and collecting them in a quick tight hug and giving them a once-over.
“Hey Phoenicia.” Their voice lacked its usual sass, but it was genuine.
She cupped their hand in hers, her hands almost burned to touch.
“Were you taking a cold shower?” “Are you overheating again?” they both asked in unison.
Phoenicia answered first. “No! no no. I've been resting and taking care of myself and all that jazz- and stop deflecting I'm asking about you. I saw Tony and Farya and the human all walk out and Eddie was being all cryptic and Volt doesn't know how to lie and- gosh Lux you scared me.”
The squeak in Phoenicia's voice before she deflected (hypocrite) betrayed her poorly concealed lie (hypocrite again). Her caring about them filled Lux's chest with warmth, coming all the way to their apartment to check on them, Lux couldn't name anyone else that would do that.
“Please, this isn't my first rodeo or whatever they say, I'm like a teensy bit tired and I zone out like a little more often…And FYI, you don't know how to lie either.”
Phoenicia's hold of Lux's hand didn't waver, neither did her troubled fixation on their face, “I might have overworked myself after the power came back on…” Her voice trailed off. “You're different, Lux.”
“Of course I am.” They confidently flicked their damp hair.
“That's not- You know what, nevermind.” Her infectious smile returned to her. “Is there something you want to ask me about?”
Lux pursed their lips, “Something liiiike?”
“You know…a thing…a lot of things related to the thing and another physical thing?” She leaned in in anticipation.
There was a vacant space in Lux's mind, it seemed important, or maybe it was Lux that gave it that importance.
“Nope.”
Phoenicia gaped at them, she beamed like someone turned up her brightness. “Are you gonna tell me what it is or…?”
“Oh!...I don't remember either!” She kissed their cheek and let them go. “Rest well, Luxyboo!” The phone walked away, waving to them as she left their sight.
Lux stood still, wracking their brain on what they could possibly be forgetting, and why Phoenicia would be so happy about it…their brain answered with “whatevs.”