Chapter Text
“And? Are you excited yet?” Gentle, long fingers ran through his shoulder-long hair, pulling the upper half of it into a ponytail, clean and proper. Plastic flowers were placed onto his head, pinks, reds and golds, in an almost crown-like configuration.
It hurt a little, his hair getting pulled and twisted into all kinds of directions to the liking of whatever his supervisor saw fit, but he suppressed the urge to grimace and instead forced a smile onto his lips.
“Of course. It’s the most important day of my life, isn’t it?”
Looking into the mirror, the way his mouth twisted into a friendlier, charismatic shape looked off, too placid, too plastic, unreal.
Just unnatural, despite years of rigorous practice in front of isolated mirrors at night in yellow light or the rare moments of full peace he truly had.
Esperanza, the priestess of the divine temple in Cielo Santo, didn’t seem to notice its imperfection though, for she continued her work without a hint of irritation.
“It is, it is.” She agreed, slightly nodding, somehow trying to tie some of the shorter, looser strands of hair back into the ponytail, yet failing as they kept slipping out and falling into his face again. “Everyone is so proud of you, Lael. You will bring honor to the whole village.”
Everyone puts their faith in you. Don’t disappoint us.
“I know.” Lael acknowledged. It felt hollow. He had this conversation a thousand times already. Everyone expected greatness from him. He wasn’t allowed to fail. “I will try my best.”
“I’m sure Arki will reward your efforts.” She cupped his cheeks with her hands, tilting it to the side, inspecting Lael’s skin for any acne or impurities. “They’re a generous god, especially to the one they love. You will be treated like a king, I’m sure.”
Don’t you do that already?
“I know.” He repeated. Had Esperanza forgotten Lael too had spent years of his life preparing for this day? Reading mountains of scripture, historical documents, treatises on his duties, training his mind, his body in a plethora of weapons and martial arts? He had sacrificed his teenage years for this. That reward would better be good or-
Well, Arki was a god and Lael was human.
If there was no reward, he still would have to serve his god. It wasn’t his choice to be made.
“It’s just…” Lael had to be careful with his choice of words. His supervisor wouldn’t be happy if he spoke disrespectfully of his god again. “I guess I’m just nervous. My life will be fully theirs by tomorrow. It’s an… overwhelming feeling.”
Esperanza, about to pick up a concealer brush, stilled for a moment.
First tense, then gradual relaxation.
In the mirror, Lael could observe how her smile never wavered.
“Arki is not one to abandon their soulmate. They’ve been loyal to you for thousands of years. They love you, don’t you see? They will care for you. I’m sure of it.”
I’m not. What if I don’t suffice as a lover? What then?
“Perhaps, it’s just stage fright…” Lael sighed dismissively. He doubted Esperanza would take him seriously. She would probably just repeat the same old phrases again. They love you, they care for you, no need to worry. Everything will be fine.
“Probably.” She agreed with a nod and continued her work of covering up the blemishes on Lael’s skin. Polishing him up like some kind of Greek statue, all smooth, idealized body and personality. A perfect offering. “But there’s no need to worry. They love you. Remember that.”
“I’ll try.” He promised her, almost robotically. It was such an old worry of his, so disgustingly familiar and pressing.
Yet, despite years of assurances, of rewards and fairy tales about their divine love story, nothing managed to quell his doubts.
Their assurances sounded hollow to him.
They love you.
It seemed so easy and yet felt so complex.
They love you. Everything will be fine.
As if love was the solution in itself.
Maybe it was.
Lael wouldn’t know.
He had never fallen in love before.
Maybe his heart did not have the space for someone other than his god.
Maybe that was the reason he couldn’t relate to those teenage boys and girls who poured their hearts into letters, text messages, flower bouquets and so much just to give them away to that one person they liked.
There was nothing to give away.
His heart already belonged to someone.
And maybe, when he finally got united with that someone, everything would turn out fine.
But what if it doesn’t? What then?
Nobody had an answer.
The rest of the session went by in a haze. Esperanza talked of ordinary matters, reprimanding young children to not touch the hand-crafted statues, organizing the next solar equinox ceremony in September, how Horacio, one of her fellow priests kept meddling with her duties, that fool-
Lael listened passively, nodding in agreement when needed, feigning offense when required, while Esperanza finished her job of smoothing out his skin.
The results didn’t look bad.
Pretty good actually.
No blemishes or flaws on his skin, his hair or the brilliant white suit he wore. Flowers decorating his head and the edges of his suit in artful patterns.
It was pretty, no need to lie.
But Lael had never liked the way makeup felt on his face, a strange heaviness to the product applied. He didn’t like that he couldn’t see the small mole under his right eye which he had inherited from his mother.
He got it from his mother, why should it be hidden?
He didn’t like how the collar of his shirt cut in his neck just a little too tight, how he knew he’d have to be mindful of not dirtying his shoes or crinkling the smooth fabric of the expensive suit when walking around outside.
Performance was exhausting.
So, so exhausting.
It wasn’t in his place to complain about it though.
After all, he was aware of why he had to alter his appearance for ceremonial events. It was a show of respect, of effort into becoming the best version of yourself for those above you. They were gods, they didn’t deserve anything less than their best.
“I’ll tell Eligio you’re ready, Lael, ok?” Adjusting the collar of his shirt one last time, Esperanza almost looked a tad worried for him. Careful when speaking his supervisor’s name. As if the mention of him would scare Lael.
It did. A little.
However, after seven years of dealing with that man, Lael knew how to cope with the eccentricities or his mentor. Don’t complain, don’t make him wait, never give off the impression of slacking off or exhaustion and bear every burden on your shoulder with gritted teeth.
Easy.
Hopefully, having a god’s authority on your side would shut him up at least.
“Ok.” Lael acknowledged, bracing himself for the certainly reasonable criticism.
Esperanza nodded and let go of him to get Eligio for one last check-over while Lael shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.
Again, he pulled his mouth up into a smile, hoping it would give off the confident impression he was supposed to radiate.
No, too many teeth.
Try again.
Too hesitant.
Try again.
Nothing inherently wrong with this attempt, but the fear in Lael’s eyes still shone through too easily.
Could he do better?
Maybe?
“We’re late on schedule. I hope you weren’t sloppy in your work, señora Flores, because we cannot plan for even more delays-” Eligio Reyes marched into the backroom of the temple, chalkboard in hand, clacking a pen against it to draw attention to the supposed urgency of his problems.
“I am aware.” Following, Esperanza bit back, seemingly already irritated. Ha, Lael’s supervisor certainly had a talent heightening everyone’s blood pressure with his constant, perfectionist nagging.
“I hope so.” The man didn’t grant the priestess much attention and instead focused on Lael.
No greetings, no “How are you feeling on this monumental day for you, my student I love and appreciate?”, just a quick order barked at him.
“Turn around, Lael.”
Lael obliged without complaint, standing up from his seat in front of the mirror and turning towards his mentor.
Eligio eyed him critically, first from afar, then he went in close, fussing with Lael’s collar and the pink rose pinned to the left side of his chest, right over his heart.
“And? Are you satisfied with my work, señor Reyes?” Esperanza asked from behind, arms crossed and eyebrows raised in annoyance.
“It is sufficient.” Eligio hummed as he adjusted the flowers on Lael’s head.
He took a step back again, thoughtfully stroking the well-groomed, black beard he was growing and examining Lael’s whole get-up like a particularly challenging art piece he had found in a museum.
“Could we change the hairstyle? It doesn’t look too good in my opinion. A bit too messy.”
Lael had picked that hairstyle himself. He often wore the upper half in a ponytail to prevent most of it falling into his face while studying or doing chores around the house. He liked it. And Esperanza had seen no problem in styling it that way, so what was Eligio’s problem even?
“Only if you want to lose even more time by making me redo it.” Gods, was Lael thankful for Esperanza sometimes. He didn’t have to sit there even longer because of some minor complaint from an overly demanding prick.
“Tsk, guess we’ll have to do this then.” Eligio sighed in resignation, allowing one of his hands to run through the dark brown strands of the boy’s hair. “We should have cut it short a long time ago. He looks like a girl."
Lael shivered innerly, the instinct to swat Eligio’s hand away from his head and yell at him to fuck off sparking up in his fingers.
It had taken almost a year to grow it out this long, a whole year of “accidentally missing” his hair appointments and getting flack from Eligio for it. He wouldn’t give up now, not when he was so close to finally being free from supervisors and everyone judging every single one of his steps all the time.
“I think it’s quite befitting of a champion.” Esperanza mused, a slight flick of her head to the side. “Divinity isn’t gendered. So why should its servants be?”
Well played, Esperanza. Beating him with a theological argument and nobody wanted to contest the gods’ will.
Begrudgingly, with gritted teeth, Eligio admitted to defeat. Or at least, the closest thing to admitting defeat. Lael’s mentor rarely ever admitted defeat towards anyone. “I just worried he wouldn’t know how to take care of it.”
“I taught him how to, so no worries.” Esperanza retorded with a soft, vicious smile.
Indeed, she had taught him what to buy at the store for his hair, when to wash it, not to cut the front ends of it when nervous or bored, to let a professional take care of it.
Lael was thankful for her advice and encouragement, even if she probably just allowed the change because it actually was befitting of someone like him, a god’s favorite, a champion.
After all, the priestess was just fulfilling her duties, guiding him to where he was supposed to be.
With his god.
“Good.” Eligio conceded with no eagerness or contentment behind it.
Moving on as fast as possible from getting verbally outmatched, Lael’s mentor pulled a paper out of his leather briefcase and handed it to his student.
“I’ve polished up your thank you speech. Read it over and then we’ll go. The people are waiting.”
Lael nodded and skimmed the paper handed to him.
Red squiggles everywhere, notes at the side urging him to add certain phrases, to thank this and this and this person for helping him come so far. Not one sentence had been left untouched, everything scrutinized and torn apart.
Even now, after all of his hard work, about to be chosen fully, he was considered faulty, imperfect.
Was he?
Maybe the dread in his stomach wouldn’t be as pronounced if he weren’t.
Lael read the speech over once more and then he looked up to Eligio.
“I’m ready.”
"Excellent."
One hand on his shoulder, a reminder to stay composed, to not mess it up, Eligio led his subordinate out of the dressing room following Esperanza in front, hands folded behind her back, a lightness in the priestess’ step Lael could neither understand nor replicate.
To be fair, she definitely represented the gods in front of the people far more often than Lael did. She was used to it, he was not.
Golden sunlight hit his eyes as they stepped out of the outer temple into the inner courtyard. The clean, white color of the tiles underneath his feet and the walls surrounding him, only broken up by the occasional drops of bright reds, greens, yellows and blues of decorative color, reflected the sun like a magnifying glass, encasing those who entered in blinding light.
An imposing feat of architecture.
Unlike any other building Lael had ever stepped into.
Pristine, grand, ancient, holy, beautiful, inhuman, divine.
A place where the mortal met the immortal.
Instinctively, Lael wanted to cover his eyes, turn away from the overwhelming brightness, but that would be a bad look on him.
And the people, his family, his village were looking.
There they stood, crowded around the bottom of a circular pyramid, waving, cheering him on.
They had been waiting for him.
Tomorrow was the big day, after all.
He smiled for them, pretended everything was ok for them.
As much as he was a servant of the gods, he also was a servant of his people.
If it weren’t for them, he wouldn’t walk into the unknown so readily.
The steps up to the top of the pyramid were steep, small. One wrong step, one moment of lost balance and you’d fall, bones breaking on the hard floor, red blood splattering across the off-white surface.
Lael shivered.
That couldn’t happen.
Not in front of all the people.
He needed to pay attention to where he stepped.
From up above, on top, one could look over the whole temple courtyard, the reflective, white stone floor, the artistic, colorful flourishes cutting patterns into the flawless surface and the people gathering in it, of course.
The walls of the outer temple encased them; Lael saw dry mountain tops peeking out behind them, it was a different world inside here, a safer one.
One he was supposed to protect.
He couldn’t fail.
The temple leader, an older man called Ignacio, stepped forward, opening his arms to greet his fellow brothers and sisters in belief.
“Today is a joyous day for us all, brothers and sisters! Twenty years ago, the god of fate blessed our home, our community of loyal believers, with a gift they only hand out rarely: Arki’s champion.”
The masses cheered.
Lael swore he could make out his father between the loudest of the cacophony of voices echoing between the temple walls.
They were proud of him. So proud of him.
But what had Lael done to deserve their pride?
After all, their blessing was the fact that he had been born here, right here, in Cielo Santo.
Nothing he had done himself. Unlike other divine champions, he hadn’t earned the gods’ blessing through hard work, through his dedication to the cause.
All he had done was getting born right here and nowhere else.
So, arguably, his mother should have gotten the credit for the town’s blessing.
She had birthed him, brought him to them.
They should cheer for her, not him.
Not that they would agree with his sentiment.
“I’m sure you all heard the story as children.
Once upon a time, in the ancient lands between the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, the god Arki fell in love with a simple farmer’s man by the name Dinili and in turn, the fields bloomed like they never had before.
The god bestowed Dinili with many gifts, magic and fertile land to tend to and in turn, Dinili preached their will to the people around him.
It was the beginning of a relationship between humans and gods never seen before.
A love that lasted for thousands of years, through many lives and deaths, a union we are lucky to witness tomorrow.
Lael, step forward. Share your blessing with all of us.”
That was his cue.
Lael stepped forward and the temple leader handed him a microphone. Usually, a priest didn’t need a microphone to be heard inside of the temple, but Lael always struggled with raising his voice and much to Eligio’s chagrin, this had been the compromise.
The young man cleared his throat one last time, reminded himself to stand straight, smile, look directly towards his audience and then he started.
“First and foremost, thanks to all of you, the people I am honored to have grown up around.
I cannot imagine a better place to live and serve in. You are truly some of the gods’ most diligent devotees.
Thank you, to all of you.
The priests in the temple, my teachers in school, my friends, my family.
Without all of you, I wouldn’t stand here today.
Without all of you, none of this would have been possible.
I am eternally grateful and I wish, I hope that I will do right by you.
I thank the gods, I thank Arki, for this blessing of mine and I swear to put it to good use only.
May the ceremony begin now!”
These words left a strange taste in Lael’s mouth as he handed the microphone back to Esperanza who put it aside for him, somewhere where the people couldn’t see it.
In his original speech, he had gone more into detail which people he had been the most thankful for, had thanked his mother and father, Esperanza and the people who aided him while studying. Perhaps, he had gotten overboard with the descriptions again and that was why those sections had been crossed out.
Yet, still, Lael wished he had been allowed to truly show for whom he was doing this for.
Why he was working so hard, why he dealt with Eligio’s nagging for seven years without complaint.
For them, not for the promise of love or success or fame, but for those around him who believed in him.
Not anybody else.
“Now, we all shall collect our requests for the gods! Come forth, brothers and sisters, and write them down and put them into this basket!” Esperanza had stepped forwards again, holding out said basket as people started lining up to climb up the stairs to the altar and bring forth their requests and wishes to Lael who would deliver them to the gods in hopes they’d be granted.
It was an old ritual, one he had witnessed and partaken in many times before as most graduates of temple school would offer themselves as servants to the gods at the solar equinox ceremony, the Day of Transformation.
Those rare, blessed few who actually received the favor of a god were obligated to share their gifts with their community, with humanity. After all, where would they be without one another in such an often wretched, dangerous world?
Solidarity had held the Gurdiánes de Almas Inmortales together for thousands of years, around the whole globe.
Lael, despite being unique even amongst the chosen ones, despite having his ceremony at twenty instead of eighteen, just continued a centuries-old tradition. As all champions had done before him and would continue to do so in the future.
They looked at him, the villagers, men and women, young and old, with a strange hopefulness and respect when dropping their small pieces of paper into the basket.
His father smiled at him encouragingly with a faith that was not only meant for the gods but also for his son. Fear lingered more in his mother’s eyes, it always did.
Lael returned their smiles regardless.
Everything would be fine. Arki loved him.
That was what he had to believe in.
Slowly, the ceremony crept forward.
Lael’s feet hurt. These shoes were so uncomfortable.
He subtly shifted his weight around, alleviating some of the pain, but when Eligio’s hand gripped his shoulders, urging him to be still, statuesque, he stopped, settling to quietly bear it with gritted teeth.
Tomorrow, tomorrow. Tomorrow, he wouldn’t have to take orders from Eligio anymore, but from someone else.
Hopefully, said someone would be more forgiving if Lael didn’t meet their standards.
Hopefully.
Someone pushed the handle of the basket into his hands. The ceremony was over.
Slowly, the priesthood descended down the holy stairs again, Lael in tow.
They walked through the mass of the people who watched with glimmers of awe in their eyes before they disappeared into the ring of the outer temple building again.
There, they gathered in front of the changing room and spoke a last, finishing prayer. A short chant to praise the God of Fate for allowing them to be here today and to have mercy on their followers.
Sincerely, Lael hoped they’d have mercy on him. He could use some mercy for tomorrow.
He repeated the same sentence in his head when his hand closed around the little Arki statuette in the pocket of his pants.
Please, Arki, have mercy on me tomorrow.
Then, he walked out of the temple, the last day of his life as he knew it now, entering the streets of his hometown.
Others accompanied him, people flooding out of the four doors on the side of the outer temple ring.
Some nodded at him as a greeting, wishing him luck for tomorrow. Lael returned the favor and wished them good luck too.
“Your speech was quite nice.” Isabel, one of his classmates from temple school, approached him. The green dress of the black-haired girl swayed in the air as she moved towards Lael with a lightness in her step he would have loved to be able to replicate. “It’s always good to remember what we should strive towards: To be kind to each other and make the world just a little better for those around us.”
Lael nodded in agreement, relieved his words had been received well by at least someone. “I wanna do right by my people, use the blessings I’ve received for good.”
“That’s the honorable path. The path of a true divine champion.” Isabel affirmed, her gaze wandering over the streets and the people inhabiting them. “Your family must be proud of you. I’d be, at least. I’ve seen you work towards this day ever since you were thirteen. You’ve earned Arki’s favor.”
“Thank you.” Lael tilted his head down just a little, recognizing the girl’s compliment. “I’m sure you’ll make a fine priestess too.”
Isabel looked at him, a strange glimmer in her eyes.
“You think so?”
It was always the same. Lael recognized that hopeful look from his sister, from his classmates, from anyone who feared the gods even just a little.
They thought he had the answers they were searching for, that he could understand the gods’ will.
Ha! Nothing could be farther from the truth.
He didn’t even understand Arki, the one he was supposed to love.
Yet, he nodded at Isabel with a serene, calm smile.
“I’m sure.”
And he was sure of it. Lael wasn’t lying to her. Isabel had worked hard and he had overheard Esperanza sing her praises about her before. The temple would take her in as another priestess, he was sure of that.
But he couldn’t give her what she thought he could provide.
He wasn’t able to read the gods’ will.
He too, was only human after all.
“Do you know where my family is?” Seeing Isabel smile at him with faith that should only be reserved for a god made Lael sick to his stomach. He never asked for believers he could disappoint, trick or lie to. He didn’t want to steal faith that was meant for someone else, someone more worthy.
He didn’t ask to become a false prophet.
Yet here he was.
“I think they went to the marketplace down the street.” Isabel informed him.
Good. Lael needed to go. Quickly. He hated playing false god.
“Thank you, I’ll go look for them.” Lael hastily said his goodbyes and then ran. As fast as he could without looking like he was scared, like he was running away from Isabel.
He didn’t want to insult her.
She was quite a lovely person, kind, a calming presence, studious and faithful.
In the fourteen years they had gone to school together, Lael couldn’t remember one instance where Isabel had spoken badly of him like so many others had.
She had never treated the quiet, little boy in the corner of the room who saw things others couldn’t any differently than her peers.
She had never spread nasty rumors about Arki’s favorite behind his back, and had always lectured those who did.
He and her had studied together often.
They were something akin to friends, Lael would say, although he never had much experience with friendship.
He didn’t want to insult or disappoint her.
So he avoided her questions instead.
Cielo Santo’s marketplace was a small circular plaza, built from simple stone and surrounded by the storefronts of a few shops selling food, medicine and clothing.
His mother ran a store for out-of-town goods, his father and some other workers supplied for it.
If Lael had been a normal person, he would have started working there years ago, continuing the family business.
It would have been an insignificant life, but a calmer one too.
What would it have been like?
Hm…
No point in pondering what ifs.
The present was the thing that mattered now.
“Lael, Lael, over here, over here!” He heard his little sister call out to him.
The little, ten-year-old girl waved at him, jumping up and down, full of amazement in her brown eyes. She was practically vibrating.
Man, she was adorable.
“I’m coming, Xochi, I’m coming!” His pace quickened, running towards the family store where she stood.
Seemingly unwilling to wait, Xochítl ran forwards and practically jumped him. Only thanks to practice and good reflexes, Lael caught her and spun the girl in a circle, yellow dress and dark brown curls flaring in the wind, instead of stumbling and falling down.
Once finished, he adjusted his hold on his sister, propping the girl up on his arm and facing Xochítl with a smile.
She returned it, joyfully, unaware of how her hair stuck up in all directions, carefully done hairdo ruined by the wind. A shame, really. Their mother must have spent a lot of time on it.
“Your hair’s all messed up, Xochi.” Lael therefore pointed out, raising a hand to put a decorative, plastic flower back into its place. “You need to be more mindful of your actions.”
His little sister pouted, crossing her arms. “You’ve spun me around and messed it up. I did nothing.”
He laughed. Touché.
“You’re right. Forgive me for my error. I’ll be more careful in the future.” He bowed his head a little in front of her which made the girl giggle about the silliness of the gesture. Arki’s champion bowing before anything lesser than a god.
Happened more often than an outsider might guess.
“Where are the others?” Lael asked once Xochítl stopped giggling.
“Bronte is with her friends” His sister tilted her to the side thoughtfully. “And Amá and Apá are at the back of the store, checking on some shipments.”
“Ok, ok…” Lael nodded along, mentally noting everyone’s location. He should help out. Some normality before everything would change. “And who’s at the register?”
“The intern, um… What was his name again?” Xochítl responded.
“Santiago.” Lael said. That was ok. Santiago did his job well. Helped yesterday when his family decorated the storefront with flower ornaments to celebrate the summer solstice and Lael’s champion ceremony tomorrow.
“Right!” His sister exclaimed, joyful to remember the employee’s name correctly. Lael was glad that at least someone was in a good mood today.
Gently, he set the girl down again.
“Good, I’m going to check up on Amá and Apá. Are you going to come with me or go to Luana for a while?”
Xochítl looked at him for a moment, thinking, processing the question.
“Luana.” She concluded and without further notice, his sister sprinted to her friend’s house just down the street.
“Don’t be late for dinner!” Lael reminded her as her small silhouette got drowned in-between the larger adults walking across the marketplace.
“I won’t!” The girl yelled back, already out of sight, and cracking a small grin, Lael turned around to enter the store.
In passing, he greeted Santiago and then entered the warehouse through a back door.
His parents were already removing big cartons of supplies from his father’s old, beaten up pick-up truck, still in their ceremonial clothing, a flower-printed dress with a black blouse overtop and a simple, dark green suit.
Upon seeing Lael, their eyes lit up and they put down the boxes they were holding to walk up to their son.
“Come here, mijo.” His mother cradled her son’s face with her hands and pressed an affectionate kiss onto his cheek. “You did so well today.”
Slightly embarrassed, Lael tilted his head away from her affection. The ceremony had been far from perfect. His mother was exaggerating matters again.
“I still had to use the microphone.”
“As planned by everyone.” His father said, his hand on Lael’s shoulder, a reassuring grin on his lips. “You did well. Don’t convince yourself otherwise.”
Then, Lael got pulled into a tight hug and it made him laugh, because wow, his parents surely wouldn’t back down on this.
Once able to pull himself out of his father’s embrace, he regained control of his composure, re-adjusting his white suit that had become slightly crumpled in the embrace.
“I just hope everything will turn out ok tomorrow.” He mused, half to himself, half to his parents.
His mother took his hands into hers, small holding the large, pressing them with such love that Lael felt obligated to believe her.
“It will.” She said, a determined glimmer in her brown eyes. “You will make us all so proud.”
“I hope so.” Yet, despite the force she was gripping his hands with, Lael couldn’t quite return her faith in him. The future was still unknown and something about the smile his mother displayed seemed too shaky to be true. At least, a little.
“It will.” His father repeated, more firmly than his mother. He had always been more faithful than her. “Everything will turn out great.”
There was no point in fighting with a true believer. You might argue with a wall instead. Their belief always would override logic or doubt. Why couldn’t Lael be like them, facing life with endless hope, endless belief in human and divine goodwill?
Perhaps something was wrong with him.
Not that anyone could be allowed to find out.
“Everything will be ok.” Obediently, he repeated. Everything would be ok. Even if Lael could not believe in this moment.
Arki loved him. They wouldn’t leave him hanging now.
“Exactly.” His mother praised him, another kiss placed on his forehead. She was being extraordinarily affectionate today. Perhaps, he wasn’t the only one dreading tomorrow, cherishing the hours they had left of their normal lives. “How about you go look at everyone’s wishes, Laelito? Señor Reyes just delivered them a few minutes ago.”
Lael looked around the warehouse. His father was already off-loading another box of supplies again.
“Don’t you need help with all this stuff?”
“Ay, it’ll be just fine. Your suit will get dirty and we paid so much for the thing.” His mother waved him off, slightly adjusting his collar again. It was unnecessary, there was nothing wrong with it, but he let her continue anyway. She seemed to need it.
“But your dress will get dirty too.” Lael argued. Was it really that wrong to desire to spend time with his family? What if these were the last hours they’d have together? Sometimes, champions left home for months, years. Arki could whisk him away to wherever they wanted with no visits allowed ever.
What if these were the last moments they’d have together?
“I am not the star of the show tomorrow.” She replied, dusting off her black and green flowery dress, gently smiling, yet her eyes seemed a little too shimmery to be completely dry. “Go get some rest, please.”
Lael wanted to protest. He really wanted to. His mother understood the severity of their situation. She always had a better understanding of his struggles than his father.
What it meant to have doubts in the gods.
Why would she throw away this opportunity now?
But he also didn’t want the memory of their last evening together to be tarnished by something as insignificant as an argument.
“Ok.” So, he conceded. “See you at dinner.”
“See you too.” His mother slightly bowed to him, a gesture he returned, and then she turned around to help her husband off-load more boxes.
Meanwhile, Lael headed upstairs into their apartment. It was quiet up here, only the chatter from the streets and noise from the warehouse reaching the lonely rooms.
Almost eerie.
The silence.
These days, Lael was so occupied with training and studying, Eligio dragging him all across town for after-school lessons, daily prayer, ritual washing and so on that he barely had any time at home left, especially not all alone at all.
Strange to think about, Lael mused internally as he let his hand drag across a wooden shelf, taking in its smoothed out texture. He couldn’t remember a time when it hadn’t stood exactly there.
Tomorrow, he might have to leave this place behind. All he had ever known.
Could anyone blame him for being scared?
Well.
Perhaps, he should be more faithful than that.
The basket with the wishes stood directly at the door. Lael picked it up and carried it into his own room, sitting down on his bed and sighing.
He felt tired, down to his bones. Not even physically, his body didn’t ache, it didn’t feel heavy. No, his mind was the problem, that stupid thing.
Because although he was so close to achieving all he had worked towards for the last seven years, he couldn’t find any joy in reaching the goals set for him.
It was so ridiculous.
Shouldn’t he relish in the possibility of being allowed a break?
Shouldn’t he relish in the fact of finally, finally escaping Eligio’s strict management? Shouldn’t he relish in the fact of having the privilege of being a god’s lover, one of the rare, rare, chosen few who could get ahold of an immortal being’s heart even just a moment, a year? And Lael had earned it centuries, millenials already.
Shouldn’t he be happy about tomorrow approaching, feel some kind of excitement?
It was so stupid.
He should get to work, fulfill his duties. The less he thought about it, the less it would hurt.
Carefully, he picked up the small piece of paper, unfolded it and read it.
Ask for rain, please.
Some farmer, probably. This spring had been quite dry. This wasn’t the first time Lael had heard people complain about the security of food up here. Technically, the citizens of Cielo Santo having to import more food from outside the mountains would be good for his parents’ business, they could make loads of money from this shortage. Emphasis on could.
Lael knew that neither he nor his parents would feel comfortable taking advantage of the desperation of the people that had taken in his family with open arms and had granted them shelter with no strings attached.
Solidarity was what held the Guardiánes de Almas Immortales together.
If a drought were to become reality, the Solano family store would lower its prices. It was that simple.
Selfishness had no place in this sacred town.
So that was why seemingly everyone wished for rain. It was a selfless wish. It helped everyone.
Of course, other wishes were present as well. Everything from children wishing for their grandparents to live longer to grandparents wishing success for their grandchildren, good health, love, luck.
Maybe he should write a list. To remember every single request. He’d hide under his mattress, so that nobody else could get a peek on matters that should stay between gods and the people’s chosen messenger.
“Oh.”
This quiet sound caused Lael’s head to shoot up.
A girl in a yellow and black dress stood in the doorframe, black curls bellowing out over her shoulders like clouds, brown glasses a little lopsided on her nose.
“I didn’t think you’d be here.”
“Well, where else should I be?” He put his current small piece of paper back into the basket, focussing his attention on his sister, Bronte.
“I don’t know.” She shrugged, feigning disinterest. He knew she cared. She always asked about things like this. “Isn’t Eligio sending you on some kind of mission on this day? Preparations or such?”
He held up the basket full of wishes, letting it speak for itself. “Delivered it just a few moments after we excited the temple. I guess I’m free for the evening.”
Bronte snorted. Amused, seemingly, for no discernible reason.
“Care if I join?” Then, she asked. A sudden shift in mood. More softly, more tentatively. As if she expected rejection, almost.
“Suit yourself.” He smiled, putting the basket down to create space on his side for her and gesturing towards it.
She sat down next to him, prim and proper, as you’d expect of a prodigal student, smoothing out any wrinkles she could have in her festival dress. Lael had totally forgotten that he should do the same with his suit, probably. Already, he could hear Eligio reprimanding him for not conducting himself properly.
Maybe, his sister would have been a better fit for the champion role than him. What Eligio had taught him personally and excruciatingly over the seven years of tutelage, she had learned by herself. Any god would be lucky to have her as their servant.
Alas, fate seemingly had other plans.
“You’re back early.” Lael noted, eyes lingering on the empty air in front of them because he had nothing else to say. “Where are Lea and Rocío?”
“Rocío’s hanging out with her boyfriend again and Lea has family stuff to attend.” Bronte replied, seemingly a bit disgruntled. Understandable. She probably would have rather spent time with her best friends than to sit here with her boring, older brother.
“Ah.” Lael simply said. He knew that something about her friend’s new boyfriend bothered his sister, but he could not put it into words if he tried. Jealousy seemed too strong of a word.
“Mhm.” Bronte nodded in agreement, with nothing to add either. Unfortunately, both of them had inherited their father’s quiet streak.
So, they sat there, in silence, next to each other, not a word uttered.
There was a breeze in the air, fresh, rainy, smelling like freshly blooming spring flowers. Quite the nice smell.
But strange, wasn’t it?
It was June and Lael wasn’t anywhere near the trees and bushes outside of Cielo Santo.
He shouldn’t be able to enjoy the smell of spring flowers.
It’s nothing. He lied to himself as he picked another piece of paper from the basket standing next to his feet. Probably just my imagination.
“What are they all wishing for?” Bronte leaned in as he opened the folded paper to read the request. How noisy of her. She should know that you didn’t spy on other people’s wishes for the gods. At least, he thought you shouldn’t. Nobody had explained the rules of this to him.
Still, he closed the paper again and sent her a reprimanding glare. “Rain, mostly, and good health for everyone. This isn’t your place to pry, though.”
Swiftly, Bronte’s gaze turned away from the wishes onto the floor, her cheeks darkening with an embarrassed flush.
“Right. My bad. I should have respected everyone’s privacy.”
A pang of guilt cut into Lael’s heart. He didn’t intend on making her feel bad. He didn’t want to be cruel. It was a minor mistake in a game she didn’t even know the rules to. He didn’t even know the rules either.
And he was lying to his sister again.
Why was he always lying to everyone?
“It’ll be ok.” In an attempt to comfort Bronte, he put one of his fingers in front of his lips, a mischievous glint sparkling in his eyes. “Nobody gets hurt if I don’t tell.”
His sister’s face lit up, a small giggle escaping the girl.
“Right, right… Nobody needs to know.” She returned the gesture, a finger raised to her lips like they were co-conspirators in some grand, devious scheme.
Not that either of them was truly devious.
They were amongst the most dedicated believers of the gods, after all, blessed by them even, in Lael’s case.
Something brushed his hair.
Long, spindly leaves, probably from the plants standing on his window sill, gently touching the back of his neck.
Lael froze.
He cared well for his plants, watered them regularly and made sure they got enough sunlight. The leaves only reached so far when they had dried out.
At least, they should.
But the leaves were not crispy, but soft and healthy as always.
Lael swashed them away. He couldn’t deal with this distraction right now.
Tomorrow, he’d be all Arki’s. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, though.
This evening, however, he’d be dedicated to his family.
Why shouldn’t he be allowed to say his goodbyes? If it might be his last day back home. Why act so cruelly?
“Lael, are you ok?” Immediately, the boy’s head snapped towards a concerned-looking Bronte.
“Why would I not be ok?” With a nervous chuckle, he redirected the question. Why concern his sister with silly, paranoid fantasies? Just some leaves hanging down when they shouldn't, just the air smelling like freshly blooming flowers. It was nothing. Nothing was wrong. This was natural. This was natural.
“You froze, like you saw something.” Bronte explained calmly, factually. No judgement in her voice, just an observation. She leaned slightly towards him, eyebrows furrowed inquisitively. “Did you see something?”
“I…” Should he confide in her? Would she think of him badly if he did? Tomorrow, he might be gone. Never too late to be honest now, right? Would he be content with knowing that he never shared the truth with them when he would be gone?
“I- I think I might have felt Arki’s presence here for a second. I’m not sure though.”
“Oh.” Bronte’s brown eyes widened in surprise and immediately, then the girl fell down from Lael’s bed onto her knees, hands folded in prayer, head bowed.
“What are you doing there?” Lael raised his eyebrows in confusion. Why would she pray now? They weren’t at the temple or doing their morning and evening prayers at the home altar.
“Praying.” Bronte responded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, her gaze fixated on the floor beneath her.
“Yes, but why?” That didn’t answer his question. Why would she pray right now? There was no reason for it.
Now, she turned around, facing her brother with an optimistic, yet shy glean in her face. “If Arki’s present right now, then they’ll hear my requests, won’t they?”
It was a question just as much as an explanation. Bronte asked her brother, the one who could communicate with the gods, for advice.
Some things never changed, he supposed. Even if they weren’t those children anymore, the quiet boy who heard the butterflies talk and the little girl who hung off every single one of his words.
Some things never changed.
“Yes… I guess so.” Lael mused, tilting his head to the side in contemplation. “What do you wanna ask for? I can ask for you.”
He wasn’t sure if Arki would listen to her begging. Gods often tended to be apathetic towards human cries for help. Although you didn’t need to be a supposed prophet to know that. Not without reason, parents taught their children to pray frequently and loudly.
How else would the gods notice someone so small and insignificant?
“You’d do that for me?” Full of child-like wonder, Bronte’s eyes lit up as they always did. He could almost see her six-year-old self looking up to him, the same expression on her face. Even now, she still believed that her brother could move the world if he wanted to. Felt like a throwback to the past. He’d miss her. Lael hoped she would be proud of him. “Is that even allowed?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. He was pretty sure Arki wouldn’t care. Especially if Lael was the one asking. They were generous to the ones they loved. “But asking won’t hurt, will it?”
“Ok, ok…” Nervously, Bronte started fiddling with one of the curls of her hair, seemingly a tad embarrassed about her request. “I know this sounds selfish, but really, I just wanna do good in this world…” She started and a dreadful part in Lael could already guess where this was going. “…Can you ask them if they’d find a god who would let me serve as their champion? It doesn’t need to be a major one, just… I’d really like to be a champion, like you, Lael.”
His sister’s wish to be a champion was no news to him. He had known the moment she had signed up for studies of old Guardiánes documents, signed up for classes in martial arts and weapon handling.
It was an honorable thing to pursue. Serving your community, serving humanity.
Hard work, but a celebrated one.
So far, Lael had always found security in the fact that most people who trained to be champions rarely got chosen by gods.
The fact that his sister most likely would never be special, would never be obligated to leave her home and serve under something incomprehensibly powerful, something with intentions beyond human understanding, comforted him.
And now, she asked him to hand her over to something inhuman, incomprehensible, something that might not care for her at all, that would be content to just use his sister as a pawn.
Yet he could not bear the thought of disappointing her either.
“I’ll ask.” He affirmed her dangerous dreams, fingers crossed behind his back. Like a filthy, filthy liar, like the false prophet he was. “But don’t get your hopes up too high. I’m not sure if Arki is going to convince anyone.”
For a moment, disappointment flickered across her face, an expression that pained Lael like a punch in his stomach. Disappointment was a reminder of everything he couldn’t be, of all the ways he fell short, of how he was deeply unworthy, but had the audacity to lie about it, to fool everyone around him.
Fortunately, she bounced back quickly, wrapping her older brother in a grateful hug.
“Thank you, Lael, really. Thank you.”
Guilt pooling in his belly, he returned the hug, murmuring “You’re welcome” so easily. Like breathing. With every breath taken, he kept on perpetuating a lie.
And nobody noticed.
Everyone was just content to ignore all the cracks in his façade.
Nobody noticed.
The soft, thin leaves of his houseplant gently stroked his back.
Again, Lael swatted them away.