Chapter Text
“I don’t really get what’s the big fuss about, though…” Haru hears his classmate, Tsukade, mumbling.
“Seriously? Kissing is awesome, man!” Izawa exclaims, slapping his friend on the back.
Haru sighs, a soft huff of annoyance that escapes his mouth as he stares out of the window, eyes drawn to the bird soaring freely in the air, wings spread wide. It’s good that he has had years of practice, as he mostly succeeds at tuning out the inane chattering in the classroom, until—
“Right, Tachibana?”
In spite of himself, Haru glances at Makoto, curiosity overwhelming his distaste for this frivolous line of conversation.
Surprise flits on Makoto’s face for a moment as he finds himself the subject of their classmates’ attention.
“Uh, what?” He asks, hands stilling as he drops the cat-shaped eraser he’d been playing with absentmindedly.
“Kissing is awesome, right?” Izawa repeats, leaning forward expectantly. Haru finds himself doing the same, shifting slightly closer towards Makoto, unconsciously holding his breath.
Makoto kissing someone? The idea strikes Haru abruptly as a sudden feeling of uncertainty curls in his stomach. Makoto has never mentioned anything about him kissing anyone.
An image, unbidden, pops up in his mind— Makoto hovering above someone, leaning downwards to reach them because he’s way too tall, hands gently cradling their face. Haru doesn't know why, but the thought of Makoto doing that with someone is unsettling.
Makoto twists his fingers together, visibly uncomfortable.
“Uh, I'm— I’ve never.…” He trails off, and Haru releases the breath he’d been holding.
So Makoto hasn’t…? The sick feeling in his stomach dissipates, and he feels oddly relieved.
“What, you’ve never kissed anybody? But you're so popular with girls!” Tsukade seems genuinely shocked as he stares at Makoto, and Haru feels a sudden rush of annoyance. It’s fine to not have kissed anyone. Why are they pestering Makoto?
“Are you waiting for someone, or what?” Amusement laces Izawa’s tone as he directs a teasing smirk at Makoto.
A moment passes as Makoto hesitates a beat too long, eyes wide and looking oddly caught out.
“No way. So there is someone you like!” Izawa’s expression is a mix of incredulity and glee, and—
Haru finds himself staring at Makoto, too.
He stares at the unmistakable pinking of his cheeks, the way he’s unconsciously biting the inside of his lower lip, and Haru feels like a fish that had just been flung out of the water.
Makoto likes someone?
Izawa is grinning now, delighted to have found out something about Makoto, something even Haru didn’t know. “Who’s the lucky one, Tachibana?”
“Sorry I’m late, class!”
Miss Ama-chan rushes in at this moment, effectively cutting Izawa and Tsukade off from harassing Makoto.
Haru catches the pure relief that flashes across Makoto’s face at the interruption when the two boys turn back to their seats.
He turns back to look out of the window. The bird is gone, now.
He frowns.
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Haru notes distantly, that Makoto is talking.
Haru doesn’t pay attention to his words, but he listens to the lull and cadence of Makoto’s voice as they walk home together from school, along their usual route.
By now, he's used to Makoto's chattering. It's even somewhat soothing, filling in the silence pleasantly. He talks about everything, from the twins to their classmates and teachers, to the cats he meets at different places.
Almost everything, because Makoto never mentioned to Haru that he liked someone, or that he found anyone cute.
He’s pretty sure he’d remember if Makoto told him something like that.
Is it because he thinks that Haru wouldn’t understand? Haru finds himself slightly offended at the thought until he admits that well, that’s true—he probably wouldn’t.
But that doesn’t mean Makoto can’t talk to him about that type of things.
“And then…” Makoto trails off, pausing in the middle of his sentence. “Haru?”
Green eyes peer at him and Haru becomes conscious of the fact that his head is turned towards Makoto, and he feels caught out, somehow.
“You…”
You never told me that you like someone.
Haru finds the words stuck in his throat, lodged like a fish caught in a net, struggling to break free.
“Hmm?” Makoto’s expression is open, and it turns quizzical when Haru tries to think of a way to rearrange the words so that it comes out more disinterested, and less…like he cared.
“What’s wrong, Haru?” Makoto asks, head tilted towards Haru, his bangs falling across his forehead.
His eyes are soft and very, very green, like the colour of the freshly cut grass in the morning, and he’s looking at Haru in a way that’s gentle, and it makes him wonder—
Is this the same expression he shows to his… someone?
Maybe he looks at them differently; eyes fonder, expression even softer, and he might stand just a little bit closer to them, hands brushing…
Something twists in the area around his stomach, a feeling he can’t quite pinpoint, something close to irritation. He isn’t even sure why he feels like this, but all he knows is that he doesn’t want to look at Makoto right now.
“Nothing.” Haru practically snaps, turning his head back in the direction of the ocean.
He resolutely ignores the way he can feel Makoto’s confused stare, as his heart thuds in his chest. He hadn’t meant to snap at Makoto, but it’s annoying how he acts exactly the same as before, like he isn’t hiding something from Haru.
Which means he has probably liked the person for a long time, long enough that Haru hasn’t noticed any perceptible change in Makoto from whenever he started to fall for them.
Haru digs his shoes into the sand harder than he has to.
The walk home is quiet after that.
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“Do you know…if Makoto likes someone?”
The question slips out his mouth without Haru meaning for it to. In his defence, Makoto and Rei have already changed and are out of earshot, and it’s probably the only time he gets Nagisa alone before they all head home together.
It's not often that Haru can render Nagisa speechless, but there’s a long silence in which he stares at Haru, expression uncomprehending.
“…What?” Nagisa finally asks, looking at him like he just sprouted another head.
“I asked, do you know if…Makoto likes anyone.” The words are silted and unnatural on his tongue as Haru forces them out.
“You’re asking me if our Mako-chan has fallen for anyone?” Something seems to click in Nagisa’s head, a slow smile curving on his face. It’s the same look he gets when he thinks of a ridiculous idea, or when he’s in on a secret— mischievous and knowing.
So Nagisa already knew, Haru thinks. He tries to ignore the sting of betrayal at the realisation. “He told you?”
“He doesn’t have to tell me, silly.”
The statement feels like a slap in the face. Is Makoto that obvious? Or is he just a terrible friend, for not noticing something so important about Makoto?
It’s probably the latter. Haru didn't think that his heart could sink any lower in his chest, but he's proven wrong.
Something must’ve shown on his face, because the amusement drops from Nagisa’s face, replaced by what looks like sympathy. And Haru doesn’t like it; doesn’t want to be looked at like that.
“Haru-chan—” He starts, but pauses when he hears footsteps and Makoto pokes his head into the locker room.
“Are you two ready to go?” He asks.
“Yep!” Nagisa says, but the look on his face tells Haru that the conversation isn’t over yet.
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It’s been three days, and Haru still has no idea who Makoto’s someone is.
It’s not like he’s blind—he notices the appreciative looks that girls give Makoto, he notices how they blush when Makoto smiles at them when he catches their gaze, how their voice sometimes turn an octave higher when they talk to him.
And it doesn’t just happen in school. Haru thinks of the last time when they were at the supermarket; the cashier took one look at Makoto and quickly dropped her gaze back to the mackerel they were buying, but Haru doesn’t miss the furtive glances she sneaked at Makoto beneath her fringe.
He definitely noticed the way she fumbled and almost dropped their change when Makoto smiled and thanked her.
And that’s precisely the problem. Makoto is nice to everyone. It’s difficult to tell when he’s just being friendly or he actually has… romantic feelings for them. For all Haru knows, he could be in love with anyone.
But Nagisa knows that Makoto likes someone; even knows who it is.
The thought doesn’t sit well with Haru, and he stamps down the inexplicable feeling of resentment prickling in his stomach. There’s no reason to be annoyed with Nagisa for knowing something that he should have noticed sooner.
But he isn’t even sure how to tell if Makoto likes someone.
This realisation frustrates him— he’d never thought that his general lack of interest towards such things would turn into a problem.
Despite his reluctance, Haru has no choice but to admit that he needs someone’s help; someone knowledgable about these type of things.
A girl, preferably.
It’s not that he doesn’t talk to girls—he does—, but there are only a few that he feels comfortable with, much less consider them a friend.
At this point, there’s only one person he can think of who can possibly help him.
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“You want to ask me about what?”
Gou looks at Haru like he’d just told her he hates swimming, and Haru wonders, briefly, if this is a mistake.
“Romance.” He spits the word out. “Stuff about…dating. Relationships.”
Gou is still staring at him, wide-eyed, and Haru feels a slow crawl of irritation along his skin. He doesn’t understand why people act so surprised that he’s not completely disinterested in this kind of thing. Granted, he has never shown an interest, but that was before.
“It’s about Makoto.”
Understanding dawns on Gou’s features, her blank stare instantly vanishing.
“Oh, Haruka-senpai.” Her eyes soften imperceptibly, then they brighten as she exclaims, “You came to the right person! So, what’s the problem?”
She leans in with what seems like excitement, a little too close for comfort, forcing Haru to take a small step back.
“I…” Haru changes his question, deciding to be as vague as possible— he doesn’t want Gou to react like how Nagisa did. “How do you tell if… someone likes another person?”
“You’re in luck, Haruka-senpai!” Gou lowers her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “I have just the book for you.”
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When the next swim practice ends, Gou calls him out to stay behind, and Haru finds a book shoved unceremoniously into his hands.
“There you go.” Gou says proudly.
Love and Romance, the book declares, red and pink hearts filling the cover.
Haru tries to hide the way his nose automatically scrunches in distaste, and he quickly puts the book in his bag before Makoto sees.
“Good luck!” Gou gives him a wink, grinning mischievously.
“Thanks.” He mutters.
He doesn’t take the book out until he says goodbye to Makoto, when he reaches home.
A post-it sticks out of one of the pages, and Haru flips open the page.
This is the page that you need, Haruka-senpai!
Haru carefully removes the post-it note, eyes falling onto the title of the page underneath.
7 ways to tell if you are in love.