Chapter Text
It was a normal round like always, wake up, eat, talk with the other survivors. Repeat. Shedletsky had become used to the numbing feeling of running and feeling the pain of being stabbed, scratched or even hallucinating. Today was no different, at least as different as Shedletsky could call it. Today Shedletsky was burdened with starting his morning learning over the toilet for possibly the tenth time total. Shedletsky felt everything spin around him as he gripped the toilet seat like it was the only thing keeping him grounded. Shedletsky forced himself to close his eyes as he pushed down the burning sensation threating to come up from his throat. He knew he would have to come out the bathroom sooner or later before Builderman or someone else would come looking for him.
Ignoring the dizziness, Shedletsky forced himself to stand up and walked over to the bathroom sink. Looking at the mirror, Shedletsky took a moment to look at himself. He looked like he felt, his hair had found itself unkempt again and he looked like he hadn't got enough sleep. Shedletsky let out a deep breath before turning on the faucet. Sooner or later, someone would ask and sooner or later someone would find out till then he and the other admits just had to figure a way to get out before then. A soft knock on the bathroom door pulled Shedletsky out of his thoughts and Shedletsky decided to turn off the sink. Not like he was really going to use it anyway.
“I’ll be out in a minute”
There a pause for a moment before the voice behind the door spoke.
"Is everything okay in there Shed?"
It was Builderman. Did he hear him dry heaving?
Shedletsky stood still in silence for a beat before deciding to open the bathroom door.
Builderman was greeted by a tired looking Shedletsky which was normal in occasional circumstances and today was not one of those day. Builderman knew it was inappropriate to intrude on someone using the bathroom, but the sounds of groan and gaging had forced him awake. He didn't want to barge in and demand an answer from the other admin, so he waited till the sound stopped. Builderman felt a bit stupid for asking his question now. Shedletsky clearly wasn't in good health, the man had dark bags under his eyes clearly showing he didn't sleep well and his hair and wings seemed unkempt. It took Builderman a moment to realize he had been staring too long because when he refocused on Shedletsky face, the man was now looking at him confused.
"Is everything okay there Buildy?"
Builderman blinked quickly before nodding "Yes- wait shouldn't I be asking you that question?"
Shedletsky’s smiled a little before his expression became unreadable before it quickly reverted to its previous look.
"I’m fine" Shedletsky replied quickly
Builderman frowned, he didn't want to push Shedletsky to answer his questions if he didn't want to tell him but he was worried. The shared room was silent again then Builderman felt a hand on his shoulder. Shedletsky gave Builderman a soft smile, it wasn't reassuring as Shedletsky hoped it would be but it would do for now.
"If you say so"
"I mean it!”
"Sure, you do, don't take too long or the other survivors are gonna start thinking you finally kicked the bucket"
Shedletsky let out a dramatic gasp noise. Builderman simply shook his head and left the room. It wasn't a lot, but it would do.
Things flowed like they normally did. Everyone was up and about. Elliot in the kitchen cooking as usual, Noob and Chance were occupying the couch clearly talking about something while Builderman and Dusekkar were at the table talking as well. Spotting the two admins, Shedletsky decided to immediately make a beeline to them. The other two men noticed Shedletsky and greeted him immediately. The morning ended up passing by faster than Shedletsky had expected it to, once he entered the main cabin everyone else seemed to follow suit. Breakfast was as energetic as ever, everyone was talking about something, planning something. And Shedletsky still felt sick.
He thought by later in the day, the terrible feeling he felt that morning would have disappeared by now but it hasn't and now the man finds himself staring at plate of pancakes and fried chicken feeling sick. Maybe it was the sickness or maybe it was his own paranoia but Shedletsky felt every fiber in his body tingling and every pair of eyes on him. The admin stared at chicken as if it had personal ruined his day, deciding to not want be questioned, Shedletsky picked up the chicken and bit into it. The rejection was immediate. Shedletsky felt something akin to acid threaten to exit his mouth and immediately a vocal gag causing everyone around him to look to turn. Shedletsky quickly put his hand over his mouth and left the table, quickly rushing to the cabin’s bathroom. By the time Shedletsky was done vomiting whatever was even left in his stomach, he felt drained. Blinking away tears forming, it took a moment for Shedletsky to realize that some of items floating around in the toilet weren’t just food.. It was something unnatural. It was black and had almost the strangest texture to it... it looked like oil.
"Hey..is everything okay?" said a voice from behind.
Immediately Shedletsky jumped at sound of a voice and flushed the toilet. Taking a second to wipe off his mouth, Shedletsky turned around. In the door frame was a nervous Elliot. Shedletsky felt a pang of guilt, he assumed the poor pizza worker felt as if he messed up due to Shedletsky throwing up. Shedletsky cleared his throat before speaking
"M’ fine, I just might have gotten a little sick recently. But it's nothing you caused! I just don’t think I can eat right now..."
Elliot's face read concern but whatever he had to say, he didn't mention it. "Do you want me to save your food for you?"
"Yeah, if you can."
After Elliot left, Shedletsky decided sitting on the floor probably wouldn't be good for his knees but before he could grab the toilet to get off the floor, his hands where meet with soft material instead. Grass. Looking around Shedletsky realized that he was no longer at the cabin but instead in a round, guessing from the surrounding probably Yorick’s Resting Place. Getting up quickly, Shedletsky brushed off his pants and began to think about what to do. He can worry about his own health later, right now he needed to either find a generator or meet up with another survivor.
Luck seemed to be on Shedletsky side because as he spotted a generator, he also noticed someone by it.
"Hey chance"
The gambler in question turned to Shedletsky and gave smile "Hey. Good to see..l..uh heard you in cabin bathroom... you good?"
Shedletsky didn't answer for beat, instead deciding on wanting to fix the generator as fast as possible. Blue with the blue.. the red with the red.. the green with...
"Yeah I’m fine. Just feeling a little sick"
Chance didn't say anything. Both worked in silence till the sound of the generator running filled the area. Shedletsky was about to leave when he noticed Chance looked nervous.
"Something wrong?" asked Shedletsky
Chance seemed to biting their lip before they spook. "Listen it's none of business but if you’re ever feeling bad about yourself like...physically, feel free to talk to me. Okay? Okbye!"
And with that the gambler was gone, taking the sound of the coin being flipped with them. Shedletsky could only stare blankly while watching chance run off to who knows where.
Did they think he was anorexic?
The rest round went pretty normal, Shedletsky eventually ran into everyone else in due time. Turns out this round the killer was 1x (to no one’s surprise, just annoyance), which left Shedletsky, Dusekkar and Guest to strategize what do during the round.
"So we know that 1x is the killer this round so we'll have to do our best to keep them at the farthest part of the map majority of the time."
Everyone knew what was going to end up being the best option, 1x had good reach and their attacks made it easy to eliminate multiple people so might as well keep them far away from people. "Shedletsky, you said you ran into Chance, where did he go?" Asked Guest
Shedletsky gave shrug "Hell, if I know, He ran off in the opposite direction of me after we finished a generator"
Dusekkar let out a sigh “I’ll go find them, knowing Chance they’ll somehow find themselves in trouble"
Guest and Shedletsky shared an expression "Are you sure?"
If offense could be seen on Dusekkar s face, it would be all over his face right now. “I’ll be fine. You know I’ll last longer than Chance” And just like the pumpkin headed man was off leaving just Guest and Shedletsky.
"Listen... I know this might sound mean to ask but-"
“Yes. I’ll distract 1x.”
Guest looked surprised by Shedletsky’s answer. "I hope you know this isn't me just running away"
Shedletsky rolled his eyes and smiled a bit "I know, now go find some poor survivor to protect Guest" Guest gave slightly smile before running off leaving Shedletsky by himself again.
It was easier to say 1x than find 1x sometimes and today was that day. Shedletsky walked around the map and looked almost everywhere but couldn't find 1x. At some point Shedletsky wondered if they died or maybe someone has guessed the wrong killer, but before Shedletsky could even think any other joke he heard the sound of chains. Shedletsky froze and stood still listening as the sound got closer and closer, making his hair practically stand up out of anticipation. As expected, he met face to face with 1x. Shedletsky studied as their facial changed from a intense focusing face to pure rage. "You!" shouted 1x
“Me!” yelled Shedletsky, as he started to run the opposite direction.
And chase began immediately.
It almost felt like muscle memory at this point for Shedletsky, the sound of an attack charging to the sound of chains giving away which side 1x was about to attack from. Things were going great for Shedletsky, he was dodging almost every attack and parrying the ones that were too close to his body. 1x was about to attack and Shedletsky noticed an opening. The admin was about to strike when a sharp pain ran through his body, making him drop his sword and instinctively wrap his arm around his torso.
No…not now..
1x noticed and took the opportunity to slash Shedletsky’s shoulder. Shedletsky’s eyes opened wide at feeling of a blade in his shoulder. There was immediate silence between unlike their normal encounters, no laugh, no screaming, no snarky comebacks. Just silence. For a moment Shedletsky wondered why 1x wasn't talking till he noticed they were looking at Shedletsky shoulder. Shedletsky followed where 1x eyes were at and he immediately felt like he was going to throw up again. Flowing from his shoulder, instead of blood was dark liquid. It looked like blood from a major artery, but it looked dark...too black. Immediately using his own hand, Shedletsky pulled the blade out of his shoulder.1x didn't even stop him, instead they laughed. They laughed and laughed.. "It is wonderful to see how the mighty have fallen."
"Shut up.." Shedletsky mumbled out
"You've done everything to get rid of me and yet here you are right back at the beginning." There was a hint of mockery in 1x’s voice.
"Shut. up." Shedletsky felt as if he was gritting his teeth as point.
"Tell me creator, what was it this time? Was it the fear of being useless or the hatred of being hunted like rat"
“I SAID SHUT UP” And with speed neither of them knew Shedletsky possessed, the man lunged at 1x.
―
"Are you sure their down here" asked Elliot
"I’m sure, I heard the sound of 1x chains followed by some footsteps..." Elliot looked over at Guest before continuing to follow him.
Elliot didn't doubt Guest, what Elliot doubted was Shedletsky and his survival skills. The man wasn't exactly what you would call best option when it came to the Sentinels, he isn't bad per say but rather... clumsy with the way he swings his sword or how carelessly he loses health. In Elliot's opinion he would be the last person to pick to distract 1x, yet Guest told him that the man willingly agreed. After walking for a bit, Guest stopped Elliot. Elliot looked over at Gest before realizing why they stopped. There was that strange sound of chains again and a sound that Elliot has unfortunately memorized as stabbing. Without thinking Elliot ran past Guest to the noise.
"Shedletsky we—" What Elliot expected was not what he was meet with.
"Elliot what's wrong-" Guest eyes followed to what Elliot was looking at. The sight in front of both men looked so bad, you could have mistaken it for a murder. 1x was pinned to ground with own sword going through their hand while Shedletsky was on top of them, stabbing them again, and again and—
Elliot couldn't look anymore and quickly walked away while making a gagging sound. Guest on the other hand felt like he was looking at a nightmare. Shedletsky’s entire body was covered in blood?could that even be called blood?from I x. From his torso to his face and hands, but what was the most jarring thing was Shedletsky’s expression. Guest has lived long enough to see various expressions across people's faces and has gotten used to reading people's expression and yet- right now Guest couldn't read Shedletsky’s expression- no scratch that- Guest just couldn't believe he was seeing. Shedletsky expression was nothing but pure anger, joy, excitement?
Guest didn't know how long he was staring but at some point, some else came from behind him and shouted. "Shedletsky!"
Both Guest and Shedletsky turned to the voice. It was Builderman, who looked exhausted. was he running to get here?
"Shed.. what are you doing..?"
Shedletsky stared at Builderman, Guest then 1 x. Shedletsky immediately backed away 1 x, stumbling in the process. Shedletsky stared in shock, panting, trying to gasp what he was seeing.
"Shedletsky. What did you do?" Asked Builderman again
Shedletsky looked over at Builderman but found himself at a loss of words. He knew one minute he was distracting 1x then the next minute... he was... he was... Shedletsky felt Builderman shake his shoulder and give a deep look of concern. The bird admin took a deep breath before speaking again. "I was fighting 1x then..."
Shedletsky’s eye wondered to 1x1x1x1 who was still laying the dirt, breathing but shallow. The admin immediately looked away. Builderman must of been watching him because he let out a deep breath before moving Infront of Shedletsky’s sight. "You need to go.."
"What?"
"The others are gonna probably come, they probably saw me running down here and you... need to clean yourself up." Builderman gestured slightly to Shedletsky’s current state.
The other didn't say anything and began to walk in the opposite direction of everyone. The walk was uncomfortably quiet for Shedletsky’s liking and every step seemed to remind him of the deep cut in his shoulder. Shedletsky put a hand where the cut was then promptly let out hiss when the touch burned. Shedletsky had no idea how long he was walking but eventually he decided that he was far enough and slumped against the wall behind him. Things weren't going as they were supposed too..it was meant to be a normal day just like any other. Get up, eat, do a round, sleep, repeat. Instead Shedletsky found himself wiping off 1x own blood off his face and hands as best as you could to avoid looking like a murderer.
As if he wasn't one already.
The admin no longer felt the nausea or sharp pain he was feeling before. Maybe it was because the pain in his shoulder was causing all of nerves to be overactive. Or maybe it was because 1x- no. Shedletsky refused to give into whatever seed of doubt 1x planted. Shedletsky knew it was impossible, he should know. He longer felt fear or hatred when 1x1x1x1 was created and he still doesn't feel any sort of those emotions now, just similar emotions...anger, worry, regret, disappointment. Shedletsky closed his eyes as he took deeps breaths, trying to recompose himself. When the round ends he'll rush to his cabin, take a shower then try again tomorrow. That could work...that would work for Shedletsky. There was the slights sound from the corner which immediately made Shedletsky snap his open. Shedletsky didn't expect to see Elliot again. Not after- Shedletsky looked away, unseen what to say in his state. He didn't blame Elliot if he came here to yell at him, Elliot was a kind man and strangely sympathetic even to some of the killers.
Would he even be sympathetic to me?
Elliot was quiet as he slowly walked over to Shedletsky. Much to Shedletsky’s surprise, Elliot pulled out a med kit and began to tend to his wound. Neither man said anything, the only was the sound of supplies being opened and applied. Shedletsky only let out a noise when Elliot was covering the wound on his shoulder and Shedletsky did his best to prevent his wings from twitching in pain. When Elliot was done, he didn't say anything to Shedletsky, he just simply got up and left. Thankfully by the time his shoulder had stopped hurting, Shedletsky had checked the time. There were only 10 seconds left. Shedletsky began to prepare himself mentally, he would make a immediate attempt to his cabin. He wouldn't care what questions he would be asked, he would answer them later. All he needed right was the comfort of his bed and a nice shower...
Getting to the cabin was easy… Far too easy for Shedletsky liking. When he was teleported back to the main cabin, no one made an attempt to stop or question. or maybe they did and Shedletsky just didn’t hear it. Once in the cabin, Shedletsky locked himself in the bathroom. He didn't pay any attention to his reflection at all. He knew who he would see, and he didn’t care.
Shedletsky immediately jumped in the shower not caring for the temperature, only caring for getting the blood of 1x off him. Soon the tub was stained with a mixture of water and dark liquid. For a minute Shedletsky tried to figure out why it would go away then remembered that some of that blood is his own. Shedletsky felt sick again once the realization really set in on what he did. He almost killed his own creation...his own child. He did it without hesitation..without any fear only pure rage fueling him. Shedletsky felt stupid. There were so many emotions he was feeling at the moment and yet the only thing he could think about was himself. Shedletsky let a weak laugh at the thought which quickly turned into a coughing fit and then—
The shower was coated in the unnatural liquid again...his fear and hatred. Shedletsky quickly cleaned up the shower before turning it off and getting out. He wasn't going to make it at this point. He was either going to die by coughing up his insides or die by become- Shedletsky stopped panicking when he heard the sound of the cabin door open. It was most likely Builderman. Shedletsky exited the bathroom when he was dry and dressed again in clothes that weren't covered in blood. Builderman seemed surprised at the speed Shedletsky had cleaned up. "Wow. You were fast" Builderman’s tone wasn’t surprise or excitement rather it was bordering on a mocking tone.
Shedletsky didn't answer for a minute while he put his bloody clothes with the rest of matching dirty clothes. "Not fan of being covered in blood"
"Really now?”
Shedletsky turned around to face Builderman and for a moment he opened his mouth and immediately shut it. He wouldn't be angry over this…not this.
"Shedletsky you gotta tell me what's going on" pleaded Builderman
Shedletsky honestly wanted but he didn't know how to start. "It's nothing serious.."
"Nothing serious? Shed you just almost killed 1x out! Shed your kid-"
"I know!"
"Then why won't you tell me-"
"What am I supposed to tell you! That for the past months we've been, I feel like my very being slowly slip away from me! That every night and morning I wake up and I see him. That I’m afraid I’m gonna wake up one day and be Telamon again!" The room fell silent after Shedletsky was done yelling, he didn't realize he was yelling till the silence felt normal and he could hear crickets outside.
"You've changed Shed-"
"A small name change doesn't change a person Builderman."
Builderman frowned, he clearly wanted to say more. Say something to tell Shedletsky he was wrong, but this information was all too new for him. Shedletsky knew this would happen, people often treat him and Telamon as two separate people. It made life easy; it made it easy for people to forgive Shedletsky while spitting on Telamon's name. It made it easy for people to look at Shedletsky and not see a monster instead.
"You should sleep in someone else's cabin tonight. I’m sure anyone would gladly let you in."
"Shed-"
"Please...BuiIder.. just this once."
Builderman didn't argue. Shedletsky was glad because that night wasn't any better. Shedletsky spent the night in and out of bed, either due to horrible back-to-back nightmares or feeling the urge to throw up. By the time Shedletsky finally got some sleep he was pretty sure it was almost 4 in the morning. When Shedletsky was finally able to relax, he felt his eye lids become heavy and slowly sank into the bed below, letting sleep take him away and hoping for a normal dream.