Chapter Text
Dean was lying on the motel bed eating his funions and jerky from the corner gas, Dr. Sexy on the tv when Sam came back from his research trip to the Library. Apparently small town USA didn’t have the budget to digitize their records so Sammy had to go back to hitting the actual books looking for death records.
Dean did start out helping but Sam told him he was being too distracting and he’d meet him back at the motel. Which for the record Dean was more than fine with, even if he did get kinda bored what with there being no witnesses to interview and the trail on this case being otherwise stone cold. Dean had been fine with it because it gave him some space from Sammy who had been acting particularly little brother bitchy all week. Dean had cracked a joke about it being Samantha’s time of the month and Sam had thrown his snacks out the window of the impala and said ‘how’s that for bitchy’.
So space is good. But Sammy was back now and he didn’t look any happier than when Dean left. He had his laptop and some books Under one arm and was scowling fiercely as he kicked off his boots.
“No luck?”he asked
Sam’s scowl got even worse if that was possible “no thanks to you but we have a few Leads to follow up on we just have to wait till Monday business hours.”
“Hey I was helping. You’re the one who told me to take off.” Dean throws a funion at Sam’s face but it barely makes it over the bed and comes nowhere near Sam who snorts and dumps his books on the motel desk. “ so I guess that means we’re in town for at least the next two days.” Dean throws a piece of jerky at Sam this time which is heavy enough to reach him but Sam just catches it before it reaches his head and throws it in the motel trash. “Hey” Dean protests “don’t wast food!”
Sam rolls his eyes like it’s an Olympic sport. “You’re the one wasting it by throwing it around Dean. And besides, it’s not real food.”
“Not real food” Dean says to himself in disbelief. Before he can retaliate the commercial ends and Dr. Sexy is back. Sam does a double take at the screen.
“Do you still watch that show?” He asked in disbelief.
“No, Of course not. It’s just the only channel the motel gets.” Dean shrugs as he hits the power button turning the tv off. “They don’t even have casa erotica man.”
Sam gives Dean a sceptical look then heads to the bathroom.
While Sam is in the head Dean debates trying to get Sam to tell him what’s eating him but that would probably mean talking about feelings which Dean’s newfound philosophy about which is that in general just don’t, but if you have to do it, do it in Baby while driving so everyone can stare at the road and pretend it’s not happening and then move on quickly. This has not actually worked so far but he lives in hope.
When Sam comes back out of the bathroom it’s in a cloud of steam and a slightly less pissed off air. Deans settled into his bed the tv on but muted and his eyes half closed. But he’s really just waiting for Sam. Seeing what he’ll be up for if anything. See, they don’t talk about what they’ve been doing, what’s there to talk about? They are just getting each other off, no big deal. Dean doesn’t even believe himself when he tries to say that. It’s a fucking huge deal. And every night he wants to do it again but he’d throw up if he had to say the words out loud.
He watches Sammy cross the room towel drying his ridiculous hair and because he can’t think of anything casual to say that doesn’t involve Sam’s dick he doesn’t say anything.
Sam gives him this side eye look as he goes to his duffel rummaging around inside for something. The pinched look comes back on his face, brows furrowing. Dean takes a deep breath closes his eyes for a minute and braces himself as best he can cause, yeah ok I guess they are going to talk about it. Bite the bullet.
“Ok enough. What the hell dude? What is eating you?” Dean sits up against the headboard and pushes the blankets back angrily.
Sam stands up from where he was crouched looking through his stuff, and Dean gets a clear view of his soft warn sleep shirt sticking to the damp planes of his chest and the bare strip of skin where his boxers are slipping off his hips. He jerks his gaze back up to Sam’s face just in time to see the eye roll and Sam throw his hands up in exasperation.
“What’s eating me? Are you serious Dean?”
“Yes I’m serious, you’ve been rolling your eyes and sighing for days Samantha. So out with.”
“As if you don’t know! But fine. Ok. I’ll list it out for you, shall I?” Sam waves his hands in the air flippantly “night before last you sucked my dick so hard I saw stars and then yesterday morning you put salt in my fucking coffee fucking twice. Last night I jerked you off with one hand and finger fucked your mouth with the other and then this morning you tried the god damn itching powder prank again. Two nights ago we jerked each other off and the next day you park where there is dog shit right outside the impala’s passenger door. Or how bout the beginning of the week when I sucked you off with a hand over your mouth to keep you quiet and then three hours later you told the waitress at the diner I was on a ‘make a wish trip’ so you could get extra PIE.” Sam heaved a breath in looking like he was going to say even more and Dean pressed the heals of his hands to his eyes for a minute heart jack hammering in his chest throught tight.
When it was all listed out like that it sounded deranged. What they were doing was deranged. They were deranged. HE was deranged. He rubbed his eyes hard and then made himself drop his hands. “So we won’t do that anymore than. It’s done.”
Sam was starting to get seriously crazy eyes as he stared at Dean. “What are you talking about! Dean I’m asking why you’re being… “ pause “ I’m asking what we are doing, what we are”
Dean could feel all the guilt and self disgust and panic almost immediately turn to anger. “What do you mean ‘what are we?’ We’re brothers Sam. Family.”
Sam chin jutted out and he settled his weight in a way that reminded Dean exactly how stubborn he could get. “The sex, Dean I’m talking about the sex. What are we doing.”
“Sex is Sex! That’s got nothing to do with who we are.” Dean felt a little crazy himself now but this also felt really important like he had to convince Sam of something he wasn’t sure of himself. “We could never do any of that again or we could have so much sex we set a Guinness book world record we’d still be brothers. There’s nothing more important than that.”
Sam’s face sort of softened Then his eyes narrowed even more. “ is that what the pranks have been about? Every time we have sex you have to what? Reestablish a sibling dynamic? No one’s forgetting we’re brothers here Dean.”
“What? No, of course not!” Sam just looked at him and waited. “Maybe? So what if I am. The prank war is a perfectly honorable Winchester tradition.” Dean felt ridiculous as he said it. He sounded ridiculous. He realized he’d crossed his arms over his chest as he was talking and immediately dropped them back down to his sides his face felt hot. He felt a lump in his throat forming making it hard to speak, but he had to get this right. Sam had to understand. He couldn’t lose… “Sammy there’s nothing we can’t comeback from right? I mean I haven’t ruined… “ he coughed trying to make the words come out. “Whatever we do, wherever we’re going it’s just us right? We’re going there together?”
Sam’s face crumpled in on itself his eyes getting big and wet. “Yeah Dean, we’re going there together.”