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It’s a cheap kind of drama that Shen Yuan finds himself in the middle of. Teenage angst mixed with bad coming-of-age movie plot. It’s smoking-on-the-balcony-in-the-rain kind of cheap.
Because nothing is really wrong.
Nothing is wrong so he has no reason to sit on his bathroom floor, vindictively enjoying the way his feet tingle with cold from the tiles. What’s his vengeance even about? Who’s gonna suffer from him making himself slightly uncomfortable?
Yet, he sits there, on an annoyingly wet floor long enough to skip dinner, even though no one is going to ask him if he ate tonight.
Because Luo Binghe is on a date. Which is not why Shen Yuan is doing all that, of course. He is mad at his best friend for a completely unrelated reason.
***
“But Yuan-ge,” Luo Binghe whines, which is maybe kind of adorable. “Do you have to go?”
“No.” Shen Yuan snorts. “Binghe knows meeting with friends is not an obligation, right? People actually find it enjoyable.”
“I’m your friend.” Luo Binghe says. “Spend the evening with me and enjoy it.”
“Binghe.” Shen Yuan chides, taking off his glasses to put on contacts. “I spent the whole day with you. I want to go see Liu Qingge now.”
“But why. He’s an oaf.”
“Stop that.”
“No.”
“Binghe.”
“Am I not a better company than him? I’ll make you a nice dinner and we can-”
“Binghe!”
“-watch that show with-”
“Enough.” Shen Yuan snaps. “We are friends. Stop acting like my boyfriend or something.”
Luo Binghe’s face drains of all the blood and emotion. Shen Yuan wants to cringe at the reaction and his own words.
“Right.” Luo Binghe nods. “Because it clearly would be so wrong for me to be your boyfriend.”
“Clearly.” Shen Yuan hears himself saying. He has no idea why what he said is so wrong, but he knows that it is.
“Wouldn’t it be easier if I was someone else’s boyfriend, huh?”
The question almost sounds bitter. Shen Yuan can barely arrange three consecutive words in his mess of a mind, but he finds it surprisingly easy to get properly mad.
“Maybe Binghe should go find himself a girlfriend, then.”
“And get out of your hair.”
Shen Yuan is too angry to protest.
Luo Binghe looks at him for a long, tense moment and then walks right out of his apartment.
Shen Yuan spends two mostly silent hours with Liu Qingge. He posts a picture of their drinks on WeChat. Just because.
Half an hour later Luo Binghe posts a photo of a finely manicured hand gripping his thigh.
Shen Yuan makes his excuses and goes home.
He doesn’t remember exactly how he ends up on the bathroom floor.
***
It’s probably late enough even for him to be asleep when someone knocks on his door. Shen Yuan tells himself he’s not going to answer.
His legs cramp up when he slowly stands up. He wobbles to the door and opens it without asking who’s there.
Luo Binghe is looking at him with burning, angry eyes.
Shen Yuan steps instinctively away to let him in, and then wants to shut the door when Luo Binghe doesn’t move.
“Your date didn’t let you stay over, then?” He asks. It’s a mean thing to say. It makes his stomach hurt.
“Yuan-ge wanted me to?” Luo Binghe asks lowly.
“Why would it matter what I want?” Shen Yuan looks away.
“Humor me. Yes or no?”
Shen Yuan doesn’t know yes or no. He hates the idea of Luo Binghe spending the night with that faceless, nameless girl. He hates himself for sending him away and right into her arms. He hates that he hates it.
All the fight leaves him as suddenly as it appeared.
“I want you to be happy.” He says quietly.
Luo Binghe takes a step towards him. He has long legs. One step is enough to bring him close enough for Shen Yuan to feel his body heat.
“Then make me.” Luo Binghe growls.
“What?” Shen Yuan frowns. He gets a little lost in Luo Binghe’s stormy eyes.
“Make me happy.” It’s either an order or a plea. Shen Yuan would oblige both if he only knew how.
And then Luo Binghe makes a noise, as if someone has hit him, and kisses Shen Yuan.
It’s a biting kind of kiss. Shen Yuan lets his hands tangle in messy curls and hold Binghe close, because there’s a hitch in his breath that indicates crying and because while Binghe is kissing him he is not kissing anyone else and somehow that’s enough.
“Please.” Luo Binghe gasps against his lips.
I’m already kissing you, Shen Yuan thinks, what else are you asking for?
And then he thinks:
I’ll give it to you. Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you.