Chapter Text
Ever since she was a kid, Uzi had felt unsure about soulmarks.
Soulmarks decided who you were going to fall in love with, romantically or platonically. They typically showed up a few months after you turned 13–Though it could take years after that for the mark to come—and represented something you loved and something else the other person loved just as equally. It led to some weird combinations but they still were special.
Already this made her uncomfortable. If there was one thing that drove Uzi crazy, it was not being able to make her choices. So having a predetermined person out there for her felt weird. She was her own person, no one could control her life except for her.
But apparently, the universe could.
Secretly, she wished that when she met her soulmate, it would be before she got the mark because then it would feel like she had some choice in the matter.
Uzi’s mark showed up while she was editing the blue prints for her railgun.
It started out as a normal simple Saturday. Khan left early to make sure the installation of a new door in his office went well. Nori made plans to lounge on the couch and watch movies with the dog. And Uzi woke up with the need for a distraction since her sister had moved out to the dorms a week prior and there was a nagging feeling of missing her. Her thirteenth birthday had been a year and two months ago so she knew the mark was coming very soon and she had been dreading it. For whatever reason that too had been on her mind when she woke up.
No one had told her that when the soulmark appeared it felt like a mosquito bite–her sister had gotten hers when she was asleep and her parents only ever talked about meeting each other rather than receiving their marks–so she hadn’t paid any mind at first. She only mindlessly scratched her left wrist a couple of times, too focused on her modifications to notice.
Then the itching stopped completely and her wrist felt normal. Again, Uzi paid it no mind, must have been a weird thing that happened like itchy palms.
It wasn’t until she paused her modifications to take a sip of her water did she notice something was off about her left wrist. Just barely peaking out from under her sleeve was the outline of something. It looked like a tail.
A lump formed in her throat, hoping that this was part of a forgotten doodle from the night before. But deep down inside she knew what it was, that it was inescapable. Carefully, she pulled up her sleeve to see what strange abomination laid underneath. Soulmarks had a habit of being strange, there were more weird ones than cool ones. Off the top of her head she could only think of one cool soulmark and that was Lizzy’s. Hers was of a knife sewing a dress. Uzi thought it looked badass. Maybe hers would be something like that. She hoped it would.
She was being very slow when it came to pulling up her sleeve. The longer it took, the less real it was. But she knew she couldn’t take forever and soon her soulmark was fully visible. Her stomach dropped when it was.
A golden retriever with her railgun in its mouth.
That was her freaking soulmark.
Was this some kind of joke? Yeah, it was good that whoever her soulmate was liked dogs–specifially golden retrievers- because she herself had a dog and people liking dogs is usually a green flag, but to have their love of dogs be paired with her love of guns? This person was going to be a goody two shoes, she just knew it. Her soulmate probably volunteered at a dog shelter and got good grades.
Uzi was a self proclaimed heathen, the only way she would be caught volunteering at a dog shelter was through community service. And while her grades were good, that was only because her parents said they would take away her blueprints and blueprint backups if she let her grades slip.
This was going to be hell. So Uzi decided to go to the one person in the house who would have something sort of helpful to say. She stood up from her desk and went into the living room where her mom was watching Jennifer’s Body with their multipoo, Kie. It was one of the rare days where Nori’s fibro wasn’t acting up, so she was in a good mood and making commentary about the movie to the dog.
“Kie, what we are witnessing right now is the horror movie hot girl murderer walk. It’s crucial to time the walk just right otherwise it doesn’t hit the same. And that’s not even getting into the way crowd parts, the lighting, and who is watching the hot girl murderer walk down the hall. Though with this movie I fear the hall lights are a bit too br- Oh hi Uzi, what’s up.” Nori cut herself off when she saw Uzi standing in the doorway to the living room.
“I got my soulmark.” Uzi announced, marching in front of the tv. Nori gasped, startling Kie from his spot against Nori’s side. She snatched up the remote and paused the movie. “Oh my god, Uzi! That’s incredible! How do you feel?” She asked excitedly. At Uzi’s blank stare, she winced.
“Weird one, huh? Well that makes sense, most of them are anyway.” Nori assured her. “Can I see it?”
Wordlessly, Uzi took a few steps forward and held her wrist towards her mom. Nori grabbed her wrist and lifted up her sleeve. When she saw the mark, Uzi knew she was holding back laughter.
“It’s…Cute Zi.” Nori said, a smirk on her face as she held her daughter’s wrist. Uzi rolled her eyes and pulled her wrist away. It wasn’t like Nori had a good soulmark either, hers was of an open door with a computer in the doorway. It was to symbolize Nori’s love of hacking and Khan’s love of doors.
“Bite me, I wish it was cooler.” Uzi grumbled, laying down on the couch. Kie glared at her for disturbing his resting spot and climbed onto Nori’s lap.
Nori grinned, “They’re not meant to be cool, Uzi. They’re meant to represent your passions and how they work together in a weird way.” She said, for what felt like the 1000th time. Everyone was always going on about this, like it was supposed to mean something other than a way you got a messed up tattoo.
“Well their passion for dogs meets mine for guns, so how similar can we be?” She snapped, pulling her sleeve over her mark.
“At least you got one less unhinged than mine and your sister’s. Remember how confused she was when got it?” Nori reminded her, lifting Kie off her lap and handing him to Uzi. She mindlessly petted the dog–who immediately melted into her–as she thought about the mark on her sister’s right shoulder. It was of a sentient joker card breaking into an abandoned building, symbolizing a love of pranks on the soulmate’s part and Pomni’s love of urban exploration. It was one of the more elaborate soul marks and to this day, Pomni has no idea who this person is.
“I guess.” Uzi said, squeezing Kie close to her. The dog grunted in response. “You’re lucky you don’t have to think about soul marks, Kie.” She said quietly. Nori gave her daughter a concerned look, the gears turning in her head.
“We can find a bracelet to cover it up if you want.” She said, putting her arm around Uzi.
“Yes please.” Uzi hated how small her voice sounded.
“We’ll start looking for something after dinner. You wanna finish the movie with me?”
“Yeah.”
On Monday, she told Thad that she had gotten her mark and he asked to see it. She showed it to him at lunch.
“It’s not that bad.” He said, examining the mark. “Kind of cute actually.”
Uzi frowned at Thad as she pulled away her wrist. “Bite me, that’s easy for you to say. Yours is an axe cutting a football in half with flowers and cooking supplies coming out of it.” She said, gesturing to his left calf where the mark was. He had gotten it a month ago.
Thad had one of the rarer soulmarks where both parties had two or more passions each that they loved equally. So rather than two passions coming together in the form of an unholy-got-while-drunk-tattoo, Thad had four passions for his unholy tattoo on his left calf. Cooking and football for him and flowers and axes for whoever his soulmate was.
“I dunno, I sort of like it. Mine I mean. But I like yours too.” Thad said, taking a bite of his sandwich and wiggling his leg a bit. Uzi said nothing and put the bracelet Pomni found for her that weekend—she had been visiting on Sunday and she had found it at the flea market Uzi liked to go to for tools—back on. It covered the mark perfectly even though Pomni hadn’t been sure it would work.
“I get it, not liking your soulmark.” Pomni had said, rubbing her own shoulder. “sometimes it just bugs you and you need to hide it.”
“At least they love dogs, that means they’ll love Kie.” Thad said, trying to be helpful and snapping her back into reality.
Uzi snorted, “Yeah but will Kie like them is the question.” The dog was infamous for only adoring the people in her family and just simply putting up with everyone else. Though if you gave him lots of pets, Kie would love you until you left the house. Then it was like you didn’t exist at all.
“What’s happening over here?” Lizzy asked, appearing from the salad bar and putting down her lunch tray.
“Uzi got her soulmark.” Thad said cheerfully as he took one last bite of his sandwich. Lizzy nodded in approval as Uzi kicked Thad under the table.
“Don’t go telling everyone!” She hissed, glaring at him.
“I’m not just anyone though, I’m one of your oldest friends.” Lizzy said, rolling her eyes as she took a bite of her salad.
“Hardly. Thad was my friend first and somehow along the way I got stuck with you.” Uzi grumbled, but there was a hint of affection in her voice. Despite the fact that Lizzy pissed her off at least once a week, she was still one of the few people Uzi trusted in this world.
“Aw love you too, girly pop.” Lizzy said, grinning at the way the other girl’s face contorted into disgust.
“Bite me! Stop calling me that!”
“Never, the face you make is hilarious.”
“I hate you.”
“Uh huh. What’s your soulmark?”
Uzi blinked, caught off guard by Lizzy’s bluntness. “I’m not taking my bracelet off, I just put it back on.” She said quickly. Lizzy shrugged.
“You can just tell me what it is then.” She suggested. Thad, who had been silent while watching the two of them bicker, coughed.
“Liz, you can wait for her to show you.” He said, giving his sister a pointed look. Both twins knew how Uzi felt about soulmarks. They knew when to push her on it and now was probably not the time to do that.
“Right, right. Sorry Uzi.” Lizzy looked genuinely apologetic so Uzi nodded in acknowledgement and left at that. Their lunch table was silent for a few minutes, the three of them just quietly eating lunch and enjoying each other's company. Uzi chewed her sandwich, deep in thought.
She remembered when Lizzy got her soulmark at the beginning of the year and how she excitedly called Uzi to tell her the news. She remembered the photos Lizzy bombarded her with. It bugged her at the time but she had been happy for her friend in a weird way. Lizzy loved the idea of soulmates so the fact that she was happy with her mark was a really good thing. Thad had seen her mark, so maybe Lizzy should at least know what it was. It wouldn’t hurt to just tell her what it was, would it? At the very least, she’d probably stop asking her about it.”
“A golden retriever with my railgun in its mouth.” Uzi said, putting down her sandwich.
Lizzy swallowed her food and cocked her head. “Excuse me?” She asked.
“That’s my soulmark.” Uzi said, looking down. She didn’t want to look her in the eyes.
“She thinks it’s weird, but I think it’s cute.” Thad said cheerfully.
“That does sound cute.” Lizzy agreed.
“Bite me. It’s not.” Uzi deadpanned.
“Well if you want to hide it, that’s your business. I doubt people are gonna complain. Most of them hide theirs anyway. It gives them the thrill of a mystery.” Lizzy said, causing some gears to turn in Uzi’s head. If she kept her mark hidden for the next how many years, she could probably find her soulmate her own way. If her soulmate was enough like her, they would also be hiding their mark. She could meet her soulmate her own way. Even if it was planned ahead of time, it still felt like a little control over her life.
“You know what Lizzy, I think I will do that.”
And so life went on.
Freshman year turned into sophomore year. Thad joined the football team, Lizzy joined the cheer squad, and Uzi joined the multi media program. But that never stopped them from hanging out together at lunch and after school. Her parents remained happy together and her dad continued to obsess over doors while her mom came up with ways to hack the government for the umpteenth time. Pomni visited and called regularly, and she was always more than willing to talk to Uzi about feeling weird with soulmarks.
She hadn’t found her soulmate and was perfectly fine with that. The bracelet still remained around her wrist, as if daring anyone to take it off.
Uh what else was there? Kie continued to be picky about who he liked, with Nori forever being his favorite. Huh, she really couldn’t think of anything else…Oh wait! There was something!Her parents made her volunteer at the library because they said she had to do something during the school year.
At first Uzi had been upset because that meant something was going to cut into her valuable work time. She didn’t get much of it, especially since a lot of it was spent editing and filming now for school. But her parents made it very clear that they wanted her to do something that got her out of the house. So volunteering at the library it was.
It wasn’t fun, at least in the beginning. The library was way too quiet without her music blasting in her ear. Every time she was done with a shift there would be a random scratch on her hand. And the way the graphic novel and manga section was organized was a crime against god. So the first month of working shifts was hell. At least until her supervisor said she could wear one earbud while working and that she could reorganize the teen graphic novel/comic and manga section.
After that things got a whole better for her sanity. So she kept doing it and found that she liked it enough to keep doing it for another year. It was peaceful in a way, sorting through graphic novels, comics, and manga to put it in the correct order. There was a strange rush that she got when she finished alphabetizing a letter section properly.
That did not mean she was a nerd, no matter what Lizzy said. She just liked this power she had over the section.
Anyway, right now Uzi was in the middle of reorganizing the A’s of the manga section. Whoever organized this section originally must have run out of steam by the F’s because this was mostly just putting the manga in number order. But for the sake of the thrill she was pulling the books off the shelf to organize them. The sun was setting outside and nightcore was blasting in her ears, basically she was in heaven.
As she put the manga in order, there was a tap on her shoulder. Uzi schooled her face so she wouldn’t show her annoyance to the person. She pulled out her ear bud and turned around. And stupidly, her breath caught in her throat.
In front of her stood a tall boy around her age. He had fluffy blonde hair and deep golden brown eyes that looked more golden than brown. Uzi stupidly checked to see if she could see his left wrist. She couldn’t but then she was quickly distracted by the way he was looking at her. His smile was lopsided and a little dazed as he stared at her.
“Hi, how can I help you?” Uzi asked, thanking whatever high being there was that her voice didn’t sound awkward. The boy blinked, snapping out of his daze.
“Oh uh, hi! I was just wondering where you guys keep the Harley Quinn comics.” He said, scratching the back of his neck. Uzi put the manga she was holding down, and pointed to the comics section. She set it up last week since the comic anthologies were crowding up the graphic novel section while they still had room for all of them on a separate shelf. Supervisor hadn’t even complained, they just looked relieved that the place was looking more organized.
“Should be over there. Unless you were looking for some of the more adult comics. Those should be with the adult graphic novels.” She said, watching as the boy followed her gaze. He looked sheepish.
“I’m not looking for the mature ones, it’s for my little sister. But I checked over there and I couldn’t find any.” He admitted. That made Uzi raise an eyebrow. She nodded at him to follow her as she walked towards the comics. Stopping at the h’s, Uzi was surprised to find that he was right, there was no Harley Quinn comics. Which was weird because she remembered some being in the back room earlier when she started her shift. Tian, a fellow volunteer, even shelved them earlier.
Oh wait, she knew what happened.
“Fucking christ, Tian. You helped me reorganize this.” She muttered under her breath. Tian was a good acquaintance but sometimes she wondered what went on in his head. She stomped a few steps over to the graphic novel section and pulled out the anthologies.
“Here. Sorry about that. One of the volunteers put them in the wrong place.” She said, shaking her head tiredly as she handed him the books. He took them gratefully and as he did, she realized she could see his wrist. She tried not to search for a matching on it but her eyes betrayed her. Both of wrists were blank and for some reason that left her with a weird feeling.
“Oh it’s okay! Thank you for finding them.” He said cheerfully.
“Well it’s my job so…” Uzi trailed off, shuffling her feet awkwardly.
The boy blushed, “Right, sorry. Obviously it’s your job! I mean why would you wanna talk to me outside of that.” He waved his hand slightly as he spoke. Uzi wasn’t sure how to react to that, the way he said the words made it seem like he actually believed it.
“Maybe I want to talk to you a little bit more. Outside of this context.” The words poured out from Uzi's mouth before she could stop them.
The boy’s face brightened. “Really, you mean it?” He asked excitedly. Uzi’s heart fluttered at his excitement.
“Y-Yeah. We could meet here on Saturday after lunch and mess around town.”
“Sounds incredible! I’m N by the way.” He stuck out his hand for her to shake it.
“I’m Uzi.” Sparks shot up her arm as she took his hand. That was not normal.
“Nice to meet you, Uzi! I already can’t wait for Saturday!” N was practically vibrating with energy as he spoke. He was like a golden retriever and for whatever reason that made her like him a bit more.
“You too.” She said before there was a buzzing sound. N winced and pulled out his phone.
“It’s my sister. I gotta check these out. I’ll see you on Saturday then?” He said, looking a bit anxious. Like he was worried she was gonna reject him.
“Yeah, on Saturday.” She confirmed, making him smile at her one last time before he went to go check out his books.
As Uzi watched him go, a realization hit her like a truck. N didn’t have her soulmark. He wasn’t her soulmate. And yet she liked him. She wanted to get to know him, to be a person he trusted. She wanted to choose him and wanted him to choose her. He seemed like he wanted to choose her too, at least a little bit.
Fuck soulmarks, this was going to be a relationship of her own making. Romantic or otherwise.