Chapter Text
The weather wasn’t good today.
It wasn’t raining, not yet, but he knew it would be soon. The salt was stronger in the air, murkier. The clouds above were storm clouds. The seagulls were circling overhead and not bothering people as much, barely dive-bombing today.
He walked down the boardwalk, going to close up one of his carts and get it tented when he first heard it. “Billy!” A voice, eager and loud. He didn’t turn. It wasn’t his name. But it came again, louder this time. “Billy! Jesus, Billy!” And by the time he heard footsteps pounding on the wooden planks, it was too late. He started to turn but in an instant his arm was grabbed, thrown back by someones hand.
The touch, the grab, it felt…electric. Like a storm. Like lightening.
But instinct took over and he shoved the guy away quickly. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He snarled. “Your mother never taught you not to grab people, you son of a-” but the words died on his throat when he looked at the young man standing in front of him. He looked like he’d seen a ghost. He looked ill. “Hey, you alright…?” He asked, anger fading, voice softer.
Whatever was going on, he was worried. Something was off. He could feel it in the air, in the breeze.
At his temperament changing it was like that did it for the guy. He snapped out of his shock, eyes blinking away unshed tears fast. “You’re not him.” He said, and the guy sounded sad. “It’s not you.” Which didn’t make sense. He didn’t know who this guy was, but he quickly got clued in on what was happening here.
“Ah, shit, yeah. I get it. I’ve got a twin.” He says easily, sticking out his hand. “I’m Ben. I’m assuming that’s what this is about?”
The guy just stares at him, and looks down at his hand. Ben’s never seen a guy tremble before, but that’s what’s happening. Even his eyes look like they’re trembling, or maybe it’s just how fast their moving. They’re looking him over, every little part of him, but frantic. His shoes, pants, waist, chest, arms, hair - then their eyes meet and he seems to stop, almost frozen.
“What dumb shit did he do, huh?” Ben asks, assuming his twin brother must have done something to upset this guy, to have him reacting so off. He’d never met someone from his brothers life before, never had a run in like this, but he always kind pictured it. Maybe not as dramatic as this encounter, but no less strange.
The guy still wasn’t moving. He looked like a frightened deer. His skin was so smooth, eyes so brown. Littered with moles, like little pieces of art collecting across broad plains of olive colored skin - kissed by the sun, so either he’s been here a while or he recently got a lot of light lately. Definitely wasn’t a self tan, this was natural.
He was attractive in a teen heartthrob way, Ben thinks. The kind that would be on the cover of TigerBeat or hanging on a poster in some girls wall. His hair alone was cause of envy. He looked so boy next door, so wholesome, it made him wonder if this was the type of guy his brother was friends with. Someone so…nice and cookie cutter clean.
Ben sighed, putting his hand away awkwardly. “Look, whatever he did-”
“He’s dead.”
There’s a long pause. The seagulls squawk overhead.
It happens fast. Ben’s eyes flicker to darkness for a second. black dots just covering his vision. He hears a crack of lightening almost like a whip and suddenly he’s not on the pier anymore - he’s somewhere else. Somewhere dark and cold and otherworldly. Somewhere he’s never been before. It’s like he’s seeing out of his eyes but they aren’t his own…
But in a blink it’s like nothing happened and he’s back standing in front of this guy, his words repeating in his head.
His twin is dead. His twin is dead, and he didn’t even know. He didn’t even feel it or sense it. He had no idea.
He takes a step back but stops. Thunder rolls up above. A storm was coming, he knew it was.
“He died?” Ben manages to ask, voice tense and thick.
Then the guy reaches a hand out again, grabs his arm. “You’re not him?” He asks again, and Ben shakes his head. “You’re…you’re not…”
and then, much to Ben’s dismay, the guy collapses.
___________________
“Did you miss me, Harrington?”
Steve awakes with a jolt, sweat dripping down his forehead, lungs struggling for air.
“Woa, hey, hey you’re okay, man. You’re alright.”
And Steve turns and see’s Billy and his stomach lurches. The guy is Billy but not Billy. His hair, the wild curls he was used to, were cut and shorter. He didn’t look as buff, as impossibly strong - and he wasn’t sporting that ridiculous smirk. The confidence that seemed to surround Billy’s ever move wasn’t present.
It wasn’t Billy.
“You passed out. I brought you up to my place.” The guy says. He’s standing next to the bed that Steve is on. It’s…red checkered flannel comforter and sheets. It didn’t even feel like something Billy would have. “Do you, uh, remember? You thought I was my brother?”
Steve looks at him again. It’s clearer now how much he isn’t Billy. “Right. Which is impossible. Because he’s dead.” Steve says more to himself, sitting back with a thwump against the headboard, face in his hands. “God, I’m an idiot. He’s dead. I know he’s dead. I watched him die. But I saw you and I just…”
“Yeah, uh, it’s alright.” The guy says, and Steve tries to remember his name.
“Benny?” He asks, looking up at the guy, and the guy looks a little uncomfortable.
“Ben. But. Sure, you can call me Benny I guess if you’d rather.” He says with a light humorous smile and, God, it’s so wrong. His smile is soft and genuine. It’s nothing like Billy’s. It’s like it’s him and it isn’t and it’s making Steve’s head throb. “Here, drink that.” He says, pointing to the gatorade next to the bed. Steve does, nearly chugging it.
He came to California kind of on a whim. He’d been working a lot lately and Dustin and Robin both were nagging him about taking a break. He’d never seen the ocean before and, well, Max talked about it so fondly Steve just figured why not?
He never really stopped thinking of Billy. Once everything finished, his death kind of haunted him. It was too much. Losing him like that. The struggle Billy went through. The grotesque way it all ended. It felt wrong. Too much.
So maybe part of the reason he came here was some weird sense of closure. A way to expel the grief he himself didn’t understand. It wasn’t like Billy was his friend. He was the opposite. Yet, he couldn’t get what happened to him off of his mind.
He wanted to try surfing. He’d been renting a board but felt himself too prideful to hire a teacher. He was athletic his whole life, he was pretty sure he could figure out standing on water.
Except he sucked. He sucked so bad. He was never aware of just how bad his balance was.
He had woken up to try again this morning but there was no one on the beach as if they all knew something he didn’t. Yeah it was cloudy but there was nothing in the weather report about rain so he figured he’d still go.
And that was when he saw Billy.
Well, not Billy.
Benny.
Ben. Crap. He was just adding the y because it was closer to Billy’s name, wasn’t he?
“Sorry. I’m sorry.” Steve mumbled, shaking his head. “I didn’t mean to like, stir up drama. I didn’t mean to pass out. I’m not someone who just faints.” He says, annoyed at himself like he’s some damsel in distress.
Ben doesn’t say anything, just kind of observes. He has the quiet watchful thing Billy had down, that’s for sure. Steve wants to stop analyzing and looking for similarities but he can’t help himself. “Can I ask how he died?”
Steve looks up at him. “You didn’t know?”
“No.” Ben says, and Steve remembers how surprised he seemed back on the pier. How he talked about him like he was still alive, asking what he did in the present tense.
He watches as Ben knocks some clothes off a chair and drags it closer to the bed. “Look, we weren’t close. I don’t even know if he knew he had a brother. I don’t even really know what happened, if it was some sort of parent trap shit or what.” Ben huffs. “I was a foster kid for as long as I could remember then one day this woman shows up, claiming to be my mom, telling me she had two sons and just left an abusive husband and, Jesus, yeah. I don’t know. I don’t know.”
“That’s….that’s a lot.” Steve says quietly. “So, your mom came back for you out of the blue…?”
“No. Not really.” He shrugs, hunched over, looking more like Billy now. “She got some test results. Had cancer. Kind of changed her outlook on life.” He explains. “Just like that she left her shitty life and went looking for me to set things right before she, ya know, died.”
“She left Billy alone with him.” Steve says bluntly, not sure why he’s telling him this. “With your dad. He was an asshole. You’re lucky you didn’t have to live with him.” But then he feels like a dick, because this guy apparently grew up in the foster system and maybe he was being out of line, but Ben just laughs.
“Yeah, I’ve heard stories. It was kind of….weirdly nice to have answers. Why she left. Why she didn’t take me with her. Apparently they couldn’t afford two kids and I was soft.” He offers a pained smile. “So. Neil decided on keeping the son that he saw more of himself in.”
“That’s insane.” Steve says. “Seriously. That’s some made for tv movie shit.”
And Ben laughs again, and Steve likes it. It’s so weird. Is this what it would have been like to hear Billy laugh? To see him smile? To see him fucking soft and kind and not raised by a monster?
“How did he die, Steve?” Ben asks again, cutting through the bullshit.
So Steve tells him.
He doesn’t tell the whole story. How can he? He just gives the short of it. The fire. But he edits it. Instead of Billy sacrificing himself and trying to stop a monster, he says a beam was collapsing and he pushed the kids out of the way. Ben’s eyes seem to glisten as he listens, his knuckles to his chin, posed like ‘the thinker’.
“Seems like my dad did make the right choice then. I would’ve never been able to do that, to save people. Billy was stronger.” He says almost wistfully. “Bummed I never got to meet him.”
Steve doesn’t know what to say. He could go into more detail about what Billy really was like, but he realizes he doesn’t actually know. Yeah, when Billy was alive he was a complete psychopath, but was that what he really was? Steve thinks back to what El told him, what Max told him. He thinks back to how Billy tried to warn them before the monster made him drive straight into them.
“There’s different types of strong.” Steve decides on. “Billy was…different. But he wasn’t always easy.” He sighs, leaning back again. “None of this matters now. I’m sorry I freaked you out and acted all weird. I’ll get out of your hair.” Steve stands, legs a little wobbly but not wanting this guy to see him struggle or think he’s weak. Maybe he still subconsciously remembers how Billy made him feel.
“It’s really no trouble. You knew my brother, it was cool hearing about him. And, uh, I guess good to know he…passed.”
Steve nods, looks around awkwardly because Ben is toward the door to leave and he’ll have to squeeze by him in the small room and he was hoping maybe he’d move on his own without Steve having to like, push past. “You didn’t feel anything? I know sometimes they say twins have like, a connection.” Steve says, trying to make a light joke.
“I think that’s if they’re actually close.” Ben laughs. “But, no. I didn’t feel anything.” He moves, letting Steve brush by him. “If you’re from Indiana what are you doing up here anyway?”
“Oh, on a vacation.” Steve shrugs. “Change of scenery. Trying to get down with your cali lifestyle. Got a motel near the beach and I’m trying to surf and whatever.” He says, putting his hand on the back of his neck.
“Hey, I grew up surfing.” Ben grins. “If you need help I could teach you. You renting a board? I’ve got some you can use while you’re here, save you some money.”
“Really?” Steve asks, not sure if it were weird to do that. “You don’t have to. You hardly know me.”
“Yeah, I got a thing about people. Can tell whose a good one and whose not. Like my superpower.” Ben says. “You seem like a good one, Steve. Hell, tell you what. You ever want a hotdog I got you there, too. I own two carts on the pier. Just tell em Ben sent you and they’ll hook you up.”
“You own two hot dog carts?” Steve quirks his head, surprised. “That’s what you do for a living?”
And at this, Ben laughs. Loud and boisterous and for a second, Steve swears he can see Billy there.
“I own two hot dog carts and the arcade on the pier. This world is kind of my playground. Always has been.”
“No shit?”
“No shit.” Ben says. “Look, it’s going to storm real bad soon so maybe skip out on the beach today and the water because everything will be closed and it’s not safe anyway, yeah?” He opens the door for him, and they walk into a living room that’s oddly more spacious than Steve would expect. Colorfully painted surfboards are on the wall along with a lime green bike and some skateboards. He thinks of Max, but is quickly distracted when he sees the ocean from the window and walks over before realizing that they’re quite literally above the pier.
He lives on the pier. This location is amazing.
“Holy shit what a view.”
“Better at night when the ferris wheel is lit up, but yeah, I ain’t complaining.”
Steve turns suddenly. “I mean, hey, if you’re not doing anything would you want to maybe show me the arcade? I don’t have anything to do now anyway. I was going to attempt to surf but that’s out the window.”
And Ben stares at him idly, almost certain that he’s going to blow Steve off, but for a quick second his tongue pokes out the same exact way Billy’s would. “Fuck it. Sure. Let’s go.”