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There's nothing like it. Staring at Jongseong in his most vulnerable state.
Asleep? Yes. But unguarded. Peaceful. And serene.
Heeseung thinks he's beautiful.
His arm reaches out towards Jongseong before he fully realizes he's doing so. Momentarily, he pauses the action. The one hand and fingers stay stretched out in the air.
And in the moment, he wonders... Does he do this so often that it's now considered second nature? For it to be so deeply ingrained into the core of his soul? Embedded beneath his skull, far within the abscesses of his mind? The thought makes the blood in his veins run warmer and ignites his body aflame like colourful fireworks bursting across the dark night sky.
He smiles fondly and continues his movement a few seconds later. Brushes away the hair strands carelessly flung across Jongseong's forehead and closed eyes. The gesture is gentle. Loving. He tucks small groups of Jongseong's hair behind his earlobe. One by one. Counts each single eyelash fanned across Jongseong's cheekbones. One by one.
Then, he stares. To watch his lover rest. Intensely. Unsure of how much time passes. Could be minutes. Could be hours. He doesn't know. But it's long enough to witness the minuscule moments as Jongseong is regaining consciousness.
Jongseong's lips purse. Bottom lip smacks against its top several times in a row. Each little movement makes a tiny, cute sound. And it's so heartwarming to watch. Adorable, really. His eyebrows furrow, and his eyes scrunch up. He inhales deeply and exhales softly. After he finally opens his eyes, slowly and adorably, he blinks a couple of times.
Heeseung is staring directly at him. Smiles greatly when Jongseong's eyes narrow.
"Were you—” He interrupts himself with a long yawn. “—watching me sleep?" Jongseong's voice is hoarse, gritty and groggy from no usage in the past seven or eight hours.
With a full-blown grin on his face now, Heeseung nods loosely.
"Freak," Jongseong replies. He whispers it, but there's nothing but fondness colouring his tone.
"As ethereal as you looked, how could I not stare?"
The compliment sends Jongseong's ears, face, neck, and chest into orbit. He reddens. Quickly. One of his arms reaches out, and a palm meets the flesh of Heeseung's arm closest to him. It's a soft hit. "Stop it," Jongseong replies with a pout on his lips.
Heeseung giggles. "I couldn't help it, baby. You're so cute."
Unexpectedly, Jongseong begins to roll over on the bed. He only stops once he is on top of Heeseung. He lies face-first into the crook of Heeseung's neck and shoulder, and makes a new home there. "I'm not cute," he mumbles, muffled against the skin of Heeseung's shoulder.
Heeseung laughs out loud this time. "I beg to differ with the defendant, your honour." He wraps his arms around Jongseong's waist and maneuvers their bodies into a more comfortable position with Jongseong still on top of him. "Don't get too comfortable now. We have to get up soon. The sun is up. Rise and shine, baby."
Jongseong doesn't respond, so Heeseung chuckles, thinking he's gone back to sleep. It isn't until a couple of minutes later, when Jongseong speaks, that he realizes Jongseong must have gone quiet because he was thinking.
"I had a dream," Jongseong starts.
"So did M-L-K."
Jongseong bites down on Heeseung's shoulder. Enough to leave a brief sting.
"Ow!" Heeseung cries out between laughs and a jolt in surprise.
"I had a dream," Jongseong repeats, raising his voice to emphasize not to interrupt him, "and you were the sun. I was the moon."
"I was the sun?"
"Mhm."
"Why?"
"Dunno. That's what was in my dream."
"Hm. Okay. Were we happy?"
"You were."
"I was?"
"Yeah."
"But what about you?"
Jongseong hesitates. "Yeah. I was happy," he finally replies after a while. "But…not at first."
"Oh?” Heeseung holds Jongseong tighter. Begins to caress one of Jongseong's hips soothingly. "Why? What happened?"
"...Have you ever heard the story of the sun and the moon?"
"No. I didn't know Shakespeare wrote about that, too."
Jongseong snorts and rolls his eyes. "It wasn't by Shakespeare, you idiot."
Heeseung grins. "Could have fooled me."
Jongseong sighs and shakes his head. "No one really knows where the story originated from. But it's become sort of a mythological love tale. There are a ton of different variations now, but my favourite starts off, 'My favourite love story is how the Sun loved the Moon so much, he died every night to let her breathe.'"
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"...Is that—your dream—was that story...? Your dream was the story?”
Jongseong nods, his head knocking gently against Heeseung's chin with each nod. "You were some type of God. And your light was so powerful that it fed your people. Every day, they would worship you for it. But me—the moon—I was seen as darkness. A darkness that puts a damper on your people's happiness. So, every night, they would hide in their homes from me.
“I craved to be seen—to be loved—while you were admired. But you—you admired me. And there were parts of me that I hid that you knew the world would embrace. You sensed my dilemma, too, and somehow still fell for me. We were opposite souls, so we rarely met. Always missed one another. Yet, you always waited patiently for the day when we could coexist peacefully.
“You wanted to make me happy—wanted to show the world what I had to offer. So, you thought for centuries about how to give me the breath of fresh air I desired. In the end, you chose to sacrifice your light every night so that I could be seen in all my beauty. You—you gave up something you were admired for. To let me shine."
Jongseong finishes his spiel, and the room enters a soft quietness. Birds chirp happily as the sun continues to rise. The low hum of the heat from the air conditioner settles into a rhythmic lullaby.
And then, suddenly, Heeseung flips them over. Switches their positions so that Jongseong is lying on the mattress and Heeseung is hovering above him. He looks directly into Jongseong's widened eyes with furrowed eyebrows.
"Seong-ah... Are you still worrying about the restaurant?" Heeseung asks.
Jongseong fidgets beneath Heeseung. He doesn't reply. His eyes flickering off to the side serves enough as an answer.
"Baby. I told you, didn't I? I wanted to do that. I wanted that. I wanted it." Heeseung presses one of his palms against the left side of Jay's face. "I wanted us."
Jongseong sniffs. He's already begun to cry. "I know, but I can't—Heeseung, it was everything to you. You gave up a lifetime of a prospering music career for a—a dingy hole-in-the-wall restaurant. I don't..." He trails off, not knowing how to finish his thought.
Heeseung leans down until their foreheads meet. "If that's called a sacrifice, then I would sacrifice everything and more. And then, I would gain it all back just to give it all up again. For you. Because I fucking love you. Your dream was absolutely right about us. Because even when we're not looking at the same sky, we do stay together like the sun and the moon. Without hearing what's in your heart, we sing the same song. Because I know you. I love you, Jongseong. I'm in so much fucking love with you, and there is nothing I wouldn't do for you."
"Heeseung—"
"And it's not like I completely gave up my passion for music either, darling. I'll still be creating and releasing stuff. But it'll be on my own time. So I can dedicate a lot more to performing for myself. And dedicate everything else to you and your restaurant." Heeseung pecks the tip of Jongseong's nose and flashes a toothy grin at him. "Just like we always planned to."
It's quiet for a moment before Jongseong speaks up. His voice is quiet as well, but also carrying a weight of sadness. "But it's not going to be that easy, Heeseung. With the wildfire taking out the restaurant, I still—I have to start from scratch again. And I don't know if I have enough funds for that. I don't know if I'll be able to get back up on my feet again."
Heeseung frowns. "Baby. Did you really think I would have left you to deal with that all on your own?"
Jongseong frowns next. "What—what do you mean? I mean—of course. It's not like—"
"Jongseong," Heeseung interrupts him sternly. "Jongseong, what did you think I meant when I said that I would be dedicating everything to you and your restaurant?"
"I—I—" Jongseong stutters, rendered speechless.
"I have the money to help you rebuild. I have the connections to help you reach your audience and foster a bigger one. I have everything you need, Jongseong. And if there is something that you don't have, you can guarantee that I'll fight to get it for you." Heeseung takes Jongseong's face into both of his palms now. "My wealth is your wealth, Seong-ah. It's yours. Everything I have is yours." Then, he kisses Jongseong on the lips. When he pulls away, he whispers, “I am yours."
Jongseong chokes on a sob that makes it out of his throat involuntarily. “Heeseung,” he cries as he reaches out and puts his hands over Heeseung's hands that are on his face. “Heeseung.” Tears, fat and warm, bubble down his face.
“Aigooo~” Heeseung coos and begins wiping the tears from Jay's face with his thumbs, but doesn't remove his hands from where they're placed. “You're such a mess. My mess. My beautiful, beautiful, mess.”
“Thank you,” Jongseong cries out. “Thank you, Heeseung. Thank you—for caring. Thank you—for being so loving—and thoughtful. Thank you so much. I can't—I’ll never—oh, my God.” Jongseong squeezes Heeseung’s hands between his and cries harder. But he still tries to speak through his devastating sobs. “I don't know—I don't. I don't know what I did to—to deserve this—to deserve you. But thank you. I'm—fuck You're—you’re unreal. You mean so much to me. I'll never stop loving you.”
Heeseung smiles and finally pulls his hands away from Jongseong’s face to gather the smaller, emotional man into his arms instead. He fully pulls Jongseong into a tight embrace as they lie on the bed with one hand on the back of Jongseong's head, one arm wrapped around Jongseong's waist, his chin resting on one of Jongseong's shoulders, and Jongseong's face pressed firmly against his chest. They finally settle when Jongseong wraps both of his arms around Heeseung's waist in return.
"I want everything you want, Seong-ah,” Heeseung whispers. “So walk with me 'til the end, baby. We'll be okay. I promise, with the rising sun, I won't leave you. And when the moon sets, I promise I won't forget and leave you either."
“I love you,” Jongseong states, voice sounding wet because of his nostrils and the back of his throat coated with mucous from the amount of crying he's doing. “I love you so fucking much. And don't you ever fucking dare doubt it. You hear me? I'll kill you myself.”
A laugh from Heeseung resounds loud and lively throughout their bedroom. “I love you, too, baby. I would never doubt you,” he replies heartily and places a soft kiss on Jongseong's neck lovingly. "Like the sun and moon, we are one."
“God damn it,” Jongseong laughs out softly when Heeseung pulls away from his skin. “I didn't expect to be starting my day in tears.”
“Hey. My dream has already come true,” Heeseung says as he removes his face from the crook between Jongseong's neck and shoulder, and leans back enough to look into Jongseong's eyes. “I just wanted to make sure you knew I would help make sure yours comes true, too.”
And when Jongseong opens his eyes, red, pink, and watery, he looks at Heeseung like Heeseung is his last first love. Eyes big, sparkling, and full of curiousity. Just like the twinkling sky with countless stories. Heeseung would be lying if he said it didn't make his heart skip a beat.
“What was your dream, hyung?” Jongseong asks quietly, cutely blinking his tears away.
Heeseung smiles fondly and brings one hand to Jongseong's face to wipe the remaining tears and snot on his face away with the sleeve of his pyjama shirt. When he finishes, he leans down and kisses Jongseong on the lips. He pulls away after seven seconds and lets the two of them flourish in the blush they both share. And then, he finally answers.
“My dream is you, Jongseong. You were my dream when I was fifteen. And you're my dream now. You were and always will be my dream.”
Jongseong pouts and softly hits Heeseung's chest with a fist. “Be for real, hyung!”
Heeseung's mouth gapes, and then he laughs. “I am! This is one hundred percent true! I fell in love with you at first sight, Jongseong! When you were up there on stage for our high school’s talent show and were singing Can I Be Him like you'd been through several heartbreaking divorces in a row. I knew immediately then that if I was never able to call you mine, I'd never be complete.”
“What the fuck? You—you knew me even before we met!?” Jongseong exclaims. “Before that—uh—that economics class? Where we had to raise a flour baby together for a duo project?”
“Yeah. I mean—I didn't want to weird you out by saying I knew who you were, even though we never formally met. Sooo… I pretended like I didn't know you.”
“Oh, Lee Heeseung. You're so fucking dumb. I love you.”
“Hey!?”