Chapter Text
There was a nice hole in the wall Cafae run by the fae which is where our story takes place.
“Hello welcome to Cafae latte. What can I get you?” The fairy women said by the counter.
“Finally I’ve been waiting in line forever can you move any slower?” The customer asked
“Sure but I doubt that’s what you actually want what are you ordering?” The fairy worker said
“I want a soy latte, Soy with caramel and chocolate and I want something to eat.”
“We don't serve food here.”
“Your a Café what kinda stupidity led you to make that decision?”
“Because if mortals eat our food they stop being hungry for earth made food and this starve to death. Doesn’t seem to apply to liquids though.”
The dumb bitch was stunned into silence.
“Also if we were in the fairy realm and you are our food you’d be trapped there forever, and none of us want that.”
“What kinda policy is that I demand to-!”
“Speak to the manager? Your speaking your her and that’s just the laws of the Fae that have been around sense Time immumorimonium, there’s no changing them we just have to work with them.” The fairy said before getting a cunning grin showing all sharp razor teeth.
“Now Soy latte with Caramel and chocolate may I have your name?” the women said
“It’s Karen…wait?”
“Shut up.” The fairy said
The women tried to speak but nothing came out.
“How the tradition punishment for this would be 7 years of physical lameness. Essentially chronic fatigue and pain. But i don’t think that’s enough for you and a Domain holder I have the right to make it harsher and or weaker to my whilms. Up to or including death…” the women said as she slowly drew a knife and set it on the counter.
The women’s eyes shot up on fear.
“You have insulted me and thus I’m qualified for my pound of flesh. However I will let you off light with the lack of $4.50 for the latte and just the traditional punishment if you move and allow the next customer now. NEXT!”
the Karen did as was told as the drink was ordered
The next customer came up.
“Welcome to Cafae latte what are we ordering?” The fairy asked
“Hi I’ve got finals and a double shift happening in 24 hours so can I just get whatever has the most concentration of caffeine in your biggest size?”
“One extra large eldric smash coming up, don’t let the name fool you it’s just an Americana latte with a drop of Eldritch blood, you won’t sleep for 3 days.” The fairy said
“Oh that is absolutely perfect, where's the tip jar?”
The fairy stopped her. “This is a fae run establishment so everything here is about fair exchange. I work for well above minimum wage and tips are by definition extra. Or gifts which. We don’t feel comfortable as a fae. As that technically means a debt.”
“Oh shit I’m sorry I didn’t mean to insult you.”
“It’s not an insult for asking only if you get insistent. There is a tip jar but it’s magic and only appears in the right circumstances depending on if extra compensation is required By rules of fae. Or of how nasty of a Karen we are dealing with.” The fairy manager said
“Damn…are you hiring?”
“No, we're fully staffed. Here’s your smash that will be $5.70.”
“Excellent thank you…wait?”
The tip jar appeared in the fae managers hand
“Oh cool…can you break a 20?”
The customer left, allowing the Fae to relax.
“Hold on I thought you said you were fully staffed but your the only one working.”
“My other employee has the time off. Can I get anything for you?” The fae manager asked
“Um no…I was just wondering.”
“Very well $1.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You have actively waisted a dollar of my free time asking a senseless and needless question to me. So I do ask for the one dollar toll.” The fae said
Another customer came up.
“Welcome to Cafae latte would you like to try some of our new specials today?”
“Um yeah actually… I thought the unicorn Frappuccino was just a Starbucks thing.”
“They have there version, we have ours.”
“What does your come with the blood of actual unicorns?”
“Yes.” The fae said
“Wait seriously you kill unicorns?”
“Yes that are legally considered to be pests and vile bastards that don’t deserve anything other than death. Every one of them.”
“But unicorns are enchanting creatures who are about virtue and being nice and they hang around virgin girl.”
“They do like virgin girls apparently they taste better after they scream.”
“Wait…wait what?”
“You ever wonder what the unicorn actually uses it horn for? And why is shaped the way it is if it’s basically just a smooth surface of calcium that isn’t sharp enough to break skin smoothly but rip and tear into anything like a fist?”
The man was silent.
“Unicorns are worse the Pooka. And pooka are the equivalent of your dolphin’s unicorns have worked very hard the last century to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes with that PR image you just spewed out makes it a lot easier to find and trap victims.”
“Victims?”
“Once again WORSE. THAN. POOKA and Pooka just outright kill you!” The fae said
The customer felt his blood drain from his face
“Also you remember that mass grave they found a few cities over which the police believe is probably a serial killer?”
“Its…it’s not?”
“Look closely and you’ll see the teeth marks on the bones.”
The customer looked a little green behind the ears at that.
“So do you want that in a medium or a large?”
“I think I just want a tea…nice soothing green tea.”
“I’ll get if for you as payment for traumatizing you.” The fae said as she got the drink for them. Before eventually closing the shop.”
The next day the manager opened the door and one of the first people in was a person wearing a jean jacket.”
“Hello welcome to Cafae latte it’s werewolf awareness week. So for every purchase we donate a dollar to the lycanthropy foundation to help those in need.”
“Cool Um…actually I’m here for something else I heard you had like legit fae powers.” The customer said
“Oh is this about the Karen incident? look fae laws are different than mortal ones as well as the fact that upon our interaction with humanity you’ve gotten a separate set of Laws of Fae domain laws. It was apart of the Fae rights act in the 1960’s but that’s for another time. Essentially nothing that I did was illegal and even if it was you have no power over me to stop it.” The fae said
The human raised his? Hand trying to calm the fae down so they wouldn’t get smote on the spot.
“No no no! I’m not with law enforcement! I’m non binary so I was wondering what would happen if I gave you my deadname?”
“Oh oh well…there isn’t much I can actually do with it… by definition it’s a dead name and thus holds no attachment to anything like a Rock is just a rock but not this specific rock. So…there isn’t much I can really do with it. So even if I wanted to curse or control you permanently it wouldn’t work. Now as your in my domain there are other options but not by the use of your name.”
“Could you…like erase it? Some of my relatives keep purposely deadnaming me and the legal process to get it changed is driving me up the wall.”
“I can do that…but it’s powerful magic and I will demand a fair price.” The fae said
“Such as?” The human faltered.
“One of my employees is dipping back into the fae realm for a wedding and will be gone for 3 days. And I need someone to cover them.”
“J-just 3 days…of labor…and we’re talking human days not one of those ‘I spent a week in the fae realm and came back centuries later Kinda thing?’”
“You will not once leave the mortal realm it is only 3 human days 1 8 hour shift per day… it might go up to 9 if cleanup gets bad and if you come in the day before we can do some training ahead of time to make it easier.”
“Deal so you can call me JC it’s short for Jennifer Charles but my deadname is [redacted].”
Okay then [Redacted] let me go and preform and spell and I’ll see you here tomorrow?”
“I can start now if you want?” JC said
“Sure it’s a perfect time for it too.” The fae said as they performed the spell. Before coming back over to speak to the human
“So Cafae latte is pretty standard Cafae by mortal standards. If you ever worked at a Starbucks or a Caribou coffee we’ve got a very similar setup.”
“Oh I use to work at the coffee shop across the street from my college campus.”
“Perfect, then you pretty much know how this works.”
“We don’t sell food because of someone eats food made by the fae they stop hungering for anything else and starve doesn’t seem to work with drinks and smoothies are just asking for trouble but we do allow people to bring outside food there’s a bakery just down the street that pretty popular.” The fae said
“Why not hire a mortal chief or buy preprepared food?” JC asked
No space and for a while no money And we’ve had to let go of our last human cook during the 08 financial crisis and we’ve just gotten back on our feet for a while it was just me and another fairy here who came here for our own reasons.” The fae said
“Everything is dancing all night. Music stealing shiny stuff and Sex…SOOO much sex it’s obsurd. And is just exhausting.”
“And food service isn’t?” JC asked grinning
“I don’t have to deal with a court of pissy fairy nobles in food service. And I get to vent my rage out at Karen’s who insult me.” The fae manager said
“Speaking of Karen’s the number one rule of Cafae latte is to be polite so if a customer is acting like an ass let me know.”
And as a the term goes speak of the devil she will appear a Karen walked up to the counter
“Um excuse me hi I was wondering what the password was for the wifi?”
“Nothing in this Cafae is free so you either have to order something or pay a $1 toll or something of Equal compensation.” The fae Manager said
“Oh that is bullshit!”
“That is the law of Fae if you don’t like it there’s the door.” The fae said
“Well you just lost a customer.”
“And you just lost the ability of a stable wifi connection for the next month.” The fae said
The human looked stunned
“Rule number 1?”
“Noted… wait can you actually do that they didn’t give you there name?”
“Again Names are good for controlling people like if I wanted to puppet that person around then yeah I’ll need a name or if I wanted to make the curse permanent but for something as small as that no. They don’t even need to be in the store it’s easier if I’m in my domaine but not a requirement. Such as my home or workplace.” The fae said
“Oh. Oh cool so what are your most popular drinks I want to make a few now so there easier for me to remember later.”
A few hours later it was opening time as The fae went into the back to do…whatever it was she did as JC was up front.
“And here’s your drink?”
“Than- that is much appreciated.” The human customer saved at the last minute.
“Oh don’t worry I’m a human employee not the fae… I don’t think the tip jar appears to me however?”
“Oh i don’t mind the magic tip hat i kinda that I just like how blorps in and out of existence… the problem is I can’t afford to tip today. Like this is my indulgence for the week and it pisses me off.” The customer said
“Oh yeah I get that. Like you want to tip the person because there working minimum wage in food service on there feet all day and they deserve the tip but you can’t because you also work minimum wage and you the rest for like Gas money.” JC said
“Exactly and then you feel bad and embarrassed and also low key don’t want them to get angry at you for not tipping because they might think that your just one of those assholes who don’t tip on principle because “I’m not responsible for paying them.”
“Right.” -JC said
The fae manager looked between JC and the other customers and sighed
“You humans need to get your act together.”
“We know!” Both of the humans said
It was the end of the day and the fae manager was reading a book
“Hi welcome to Cafae latte we close in 5 minutes and the expresso machine has been shut down but we have other options, tea, chai, water.”
The human male smiled “a little advice madam you should smile at your customers you’d be so much prettier and might get a bigger tip.” He suggested.”
“I admit it’s rare for people to ask for sex in this Cafae and when they do it’s as they pay for there food.” The fae manager said
“Woah I don’t want sex I’m paying in cash.”
“Hmmm pity. I’m at the end of a 10 hour shift. We close in 5 minutes and it’s taking all my energy not to curse you. Your children and grandchildren now what are you ordering?”
“I’m just being honest and helpful.” The customer said
“I’m a fae if I want sex I can easily get it however to other human you’d be sexist and creepy.”
“Creepy?! Listen lady Ive flirted with several women who worked as baristas or waitresses or whatever and they’ve always smiled, enjoyed it.”
“Oh so you’ve litteraly trapped employees And forced then to flirt.”
“Well they started to flirt first?”
“I assume they were all human.”
“Of course.” The customer said “why?”
“Because if they were fae we would have dealt with the issue quiet easily.”
“Well they were enjoying it!”
“Just because a women Is polite doesn’t mean she’s flirting with you. Especially if she works food service where being polite is her litteral job.”
Well they started flirting first.”
“You know what fine… your cursed for the next seven years no pleasurable sex.” She said
“Wait what?”
“Any sex you do have will either be akin to rape, it will be either when you least want it, least expect it, or at the most inopportune time. And you will never enjoy it once. Maybe that will give you some empathy.”
“Hey you can’t!”
Suddenly the door opened and another customers came in.
“Ohh hey suger!”
The second customer ripped off the mans clothes and tackled him to the ground while he screamed kicked and thrashed while the fae just went back to reading only bothering to look over the counter
“If you’re going to continue this. Do it in the back.” She said impassively
Soon after it was time to close as as The fae walked in the back to see if anything happened.
The people were gone but there was a pile of cum on the ground. The women shrugged and picked it up before tossing it in the trash.
The next day JC came into work with bob and went behind the counter again.
“Hello welcome to Cafae latte just a heads up you caught the newbie so I’ll do my best. But if it’s a complicated order I’m gonna have to get my manager.”
Only for the women to throw a crufix
“Ha! Now you can’t trick me into selling my soul over a coffee.”
JC blinked stunned before snorting. “Okay First of all we have no interest in your soul. Just the $3-$4 that coffee costs depending on size. If you can’t pay sex is an option too. I’ve seen my manager take people over the counter before.”
“W-what?! T-that’s barbaric.”
“She’s a fae. And secondly if we did want your soul…that’s probably not gonna help you, Third I’m human not fae.”
“Oh my god are you enslaved?” The customer asked
“No but I am working off a debt today is the last day of it but I’m hoping I can talk my manager into taking me on at least part time or like buy some baked goods that I can make at home.” JC said
“W-why would you ever work with these demons?”
“Ohh excuse you?” The fae manager said coming out from the back hearing the commotion
“You need to act more like Jesus.”
“Oh I try I question authority, I volunteer to help those in need, I’ve made firends with a bunch of hookers and beggars. I haven’t managed to turn water into wine but I can make a handful of fish and crackers last way longer than they should thanks to chronic poverty.” JC listed off their fingers.”
“Don’t forget flipping tables and whipping those who desecrate your temple.” The fae added
“Is that where I’m Going wrong?”
“That’s not what Jesus stood for!” The customer argued
“Lady I’ve met Jesus that is exactly what he stood for…he was a good fuck too.”
“Your lying.”
“Fairies don’t lie.” The fae said.
“But not can’t?” JC asked
“No we suck at lying we have tells that are like neon signs.”
“…so how old are you?” JC asked
“Are we talking fae or human years? Because time works different across the realms I believe i that by human standard I’m 5,000 years old give it take a few centuries But by fairy years I’m only 1200. Anyway are you done trying to insult my working as your holding up the line.”
“I can help whoever’s next while this situation is being handled.” JC said
“Oh vinilla latte please, am um I’m not actually going to lose my soul for this am I?”
“Honestly probably not.”
“Eh it would be worth it. I mean the entertainment alone.” The second customer said
“Call me a demon enjoy being one for the week.”
The Karen froze and felt the horns appearing on her head as she touched them and screamed in horror The fae giving a smile as they turned to look at JC
“Now what was that about selling baked goods?”
“So I know you said your already fully staffed and I was just working this weekend to pay off my debt for erasing my deadname from existence. And if w human eats fairy food we get stuck here forever and when you arrived at this location you did not have the money or resources to purchase hunan made food or the space to store and display them, However! I noticed that something’s have changed and I’ve got an idea.” JC said
The fae blinked but nodded “go on.”
“So there are a lot of smaller baked goods that I can make that can be stored in the back all you need is a couple of them out here on the counter for display, or even just a picture of them. Things like chocolate truffles or little bags of cookies things that would not require you to provide and cleanup any dishs and would go really well with your beverages you wouldn’t have to buy any of the ingredients your just purchasing them already made from me and packaged from me.”
“And what would be your price for these desserts?” The fae asked
“Well the good news is the ingredients are really cheap. Chronic poverty, remember? The truffles are just 3 to four ingredients and I can get multiple batches out of a single shopping trip so it’s mostly my labor were haggling over so…what’s your hourly rate?”
“How decent are your deserts?”
“I’ll bring some samples by tomorrow?” JC said
The next day JC came in and found another fairy tall blue hat on backwards abd numerous amount of pins on his cap.
“Hi your new?” The other fairy said
“Hi I’m JC.”
“Nice.”
“Hinel open the door for Jennifer Charles.” -the fae manager said
“Got it boss.” The fae worker said
As soon as they got inside Jennifer charlers put the snacks in the back as the fae worker eyed them.
“Ohhh what’s that?” He asked
“Oh just a few treats I’m eventually hoping to sell.” -JC
“…and the boss allowed that?” He asked
“Yeah sure want to try one?”
“Hmm sure why not.” He took a bite of one and basically had a foodgasm right there.”
“Holy shit this is so good!” He said
“Hinel save some for the customers.”
“I will but you need to try this!”
The fae manager took one and a bite and JC could see her eyes light up before she tamped it down for a more mild reaction.
“This is really good. I’m impressed.” She walked away.
“I honestly thought she’d react better to that.”
“Believe me that is her giving it a 10/10.” The fae worker said
“Well alright let us get to opening.”
Once they opened the treats flew off the shelf to the point that by Midday they were nearly gone.
“Hi welcome to Cafae latte you $1 off your order if you participate in a survey.”
“What survey?” The customer asked
“Have a chocolate brigadiro and tell me your honest opinion of it.”
The customer took one and looked at it.
“This is human made?”
“Yes it is.” The fairy confirmed
“Just checking.” Before biting into it.
“Hmmm that’s good, but crunchyer than I’m use to but good.”
In the back out of sight JC pumped there fist. “Yes that is 30 positive to 4 negative.”
“We are almost out of those things.” The manager said
“Actually boss…we are all out I kinda helped myself to a couple.”
The fairy lady looked at her employee with a death glare.
“There really good.” He defended himself.”
“I know… I was hoping to have a few for myself.”
“Well…probably should have snagged a few earlier then.”
If the women’s glare could get harder it did.
“I’ll make more I swear.” JC said
“Can’t blame him…” the customer said licking there fingers
“Can I get an ice tea please.”
“I’ll make it boss and take out the trash for wiping out the truffles.”
“Yes you will $2 for the tea sir-AH GREAT MOTHER!” The fae hissed as her skin crackled
JC looked up “oh my god are you okay?”
“W-what happened?” The employee Asked
“I only handed her cash!” The customer said
The fae sucked on there thumb.
“Your ring is made of iron isn’t it?” She asked
The customer blinked “Is it?”
JC went in back to try to find an ice pack.
How’s your hand boss?” The fae employee said
“It’s fine just gonna blister.”
“Well we got a $20 tip out of it.”
“Hmm Good to know my pain has such a high price.” The fae women said
“Here I got an ice pack. Oh welcome to Cafae latte we’ll be with you in just a moment.”
“Oh take your time. I’m enjoying the view.” The customer said
The fae manager sighed “of all the times now is not the best.” Holding an ice pack to there hand
“I wasn’t talking to you.” Before looking to the other Fae
The fae pointed to himself.
“Mmmm hello handsome.”
“Blargh!” The fae groaned
“Your one of those fae romance readers aren’t you? I’m guessing Sarah j Maas?”
“Oh you’ve read her book’s?”
“Only when I want to taste bile in the back of my throat.”
“Oh come on I’ve read there books there good.” JC said
“You are not apart of the species she is grossly misrepresenting with her toxic romance tropes.”
“Ohh ohhh yeah fair point.” JC said
“I’m not intrested. I’ll make your drink but I have no desire to be anyone’s “mate.” The fae employee said
“Oh boys are so cute when they play hard to get but don’t prentend you don’t want it.” The customer replied
“No pretending I’m ace.” He said
“Ace? Fae can’t be ace your hypersexual!” The customer said
“Oh so you do know a bit about fae culture,” the fae manager said “well let me tell you while most faries are hypersexual that doesn’t exclude other labels such as Ace, Demi, trans or Bi. My ward here is infact ace. So while also being a hypersexual, has a more… human rate libido.”
“That’s not a real thing.” The lady said
“Lady…he said no. Keep talking like that and you’ll end up cursed and or punched.” JC said
“Harrasment? Men can’t be the victims of harassment.”
“Yes they can as you’ve so eloquently proven.” The fae manager said
“And to punish you for harassing my charge under my roof Enjoy the next seven years of hypersexuality with no outlet.”
“Oh come on that’s…ohhh!” the lady brought a hand to her crotch
“That also extends to masturbation now get out.”
JC looked at the women horrified as they walked away.
“That never gets old thanks boss.” The fae said
The rest of the day went by smoothly as JC went home to prepare for Tomorrow’s batch of goods.
The next day JC approched from the back door. And went to knock only to find the door wouldn’t open no matter what. As JC curses and moved around the front of the store to knock.
The fae manager looked up to see JC holding a cardboard box in there hand as they let them in.”
“I come with chocolate! Also your back door is busted.”
“Yeah I know I’ve got someone to come in to fix it later today. Come in. -ah not you.” As a customer tried to follow JC in
“What your opening the door open?”
“We do not open for another 15 minutes.” The fae manger said
“JC here is an independent contractor selling us some mortal food so that way we can sell proper snacks to you without cursing you so you don’t starve to death.”
“Oh really I’ll take five of those little truffle things and also a large cappuccino with a shot of eldritch blood.”
“You can have them in 15 minutes when we open.”
“But I’m here now and you have to serve me.”
JC snorted
The fae manager looked at the wannabe customer with distain. “No we don’t…now luckily for you your just on the otherside of that door meaning you are outside of my domain meaning I don’t have the legality to curse you for your rudeness at the moment.
“But if you come in that’s a different story.” The fae manager said
“Wow the customer service here is deplorable your going to lose so many customers with that attitude.”
“I’ve had this attitude for centuries. And the whole setting boundaries part of that attitude has served me very well.”
“I’m not leaving without my food and drink.”
The fae blinked
“May I have your name for the order ” she said
“Finally you see sense it’s Stephen with a ph…shit!”
“Oohhh rookie mistake!.” JC said wincing uncaringly
“But you said you couldn't curse me!”
“Not of your outside my domain and I don’t know your name… but I do know your name so please step inside.”
Stephen’s feet willingly crossed into the store.
“Seeing as you seem to be in such a rush let’s make it chronic lateness for one year you will always be 30 minutes late to wherever you want to go. Longer if it’s a particularly important event.”
“Hey that’s not fair!”
“No it’s not I think she should go harder.”
“That would take more effort and magic than I’m willing to expend in the morning…we’ll have your cappuccino and truffles… in 15 minutes.”
15 minutes later the customer left with there goods. As the next customer’s came in
“Welcome to Cafae latte we are finally Selling snacks human made don’t worry. And our special drink today is the apple dryad mocha the apples were pulled and gifted from Dryads trees so there is a much more hightned sense of freshness Flavor
“Why are you trying to sell me a women’s drink I’m a man.” The customer said wearing a leather jacket.
“…we’re gendering drinks now? Admittedly even after centuries of interacting with humanity you lot still find ways to confused as I’ve learned your humans tend to very weird about a lot of things… but this seems bazar even for you.”
“No because I’m a man. Men drink coffee only girls drinks Fruity sweet stuff like that.” The customer said
“Yeah no I’m gonna stop you right there as someone who exists outside of the gender binary that is a load of bullshit.” Jennifer Charles said
“That’s also not mentioning the other Races that exists like the fae folk.” The fae manager said
The customer ingnored The fae argument and confront JC shouting loudly at them
“It is not Men are tougher and suited to stronger drinks”
The fae noticed that JC flinched back at the yelling as her hands turned into Talons under the counter but turned them back afterwards.
JC took a breath and spoke again although the fae noticed they spoke more meekly despite trying to hide it.
“No men are told they need to be tougher or at least act like it. This prevents you from seeking out sweeter softer thing, activities, careers, hobbies, and even food that personally you might enjoy better or be good at but socoity will mock you for because there all “Girly.”
“And yet calling a girl manly doesn’t seem to have nearly as much sting why is that?”
“Patriarchy.”
“Ah…”
“The patriarchy does not exist. It’s just something women came up with to complain about how they're not successful in life rather than putting in the effort. The customer said
Both JC and the fairy manager were stunned at the idiocy of the situation they found themselves in
“See you know I’m right. Now I would like a strong dark coffee.”
“Y-you know i know it’s rude to tell a fae how to do there job but…”
“Oh I’m definitely cursing his ass.” The fae growled before calming down as to not scare there contractor.
“I’m just trying to work out how hard. Would it be transphobic if I turned his body to that of a women? For the next 7 years”
“I don’t think so?” Jennifer Charles said
“Hmmm I mean i don’t really care fae morality is different but it’s more for you,” -the fae manager said
“Oh look it’s your domain do what you want.” JC said
“ I mean I could do Mel gibbons hearing women’s thoughts all day but that I think has more of a tendancy to backfire.”
“Oh and creepy too.” JC said
“Oh I don’t give a shit.” The fae scoffed that off.
“Okay then…” JC looked away
“You can’t curse me for speaking facts.”
“Your not speaking facts your speak in your opinions and calling them facts. And I can curse you for speaking false information. Or any information really. I have the ability to do quiet on a whilm.” The fae said
“But it’s more of a matter if I should. Ideally it would be a way to show you the crushing weight of Sexism that women and non binary people go through every day. So it’s a way for you to learn and grow from the experience.” The fae said
“Oh my god everyone’s life is hard get over it. You don’t get to blame your gender for others hardships.” The customer huffed
“Yes everyone’s life is hard is a variety of ways but some people’s lives are harder simply because of the socal groups they were born into that’s the definition of social privilege and oppression yoyr life maybe difficult yes but it’s not made more difficult by the fact that your a women or a person of color or possibly I can’t tell by just looking at you queer disabled or anything else.” Jennifer Charles said
“And that’s not even getting into the para argument either.” The fae quipped still thinking
“All I’m here is excuses for you not even trying to succeed.”
The fae snapped her fingers
“I got it you’ll be terrible at traditionally masculine skills but naturally gifted at feminine ones for… let’s go with a year.” The fae said “mostly because I’m too tired to make it any longer.”
“Wait wait what?”
“I hope the external pressure of your peers will be enough to nudge you along there as well as hopefully some guinune enjoyment out of those feminine skills.”
“Wait what happens if he really likes one of those fem skills after the curse of liftdd?”
“Well then he will have a year to build up his knowledge and experience the curse Id just,,, magical assistance. Like training wheels on a bike by that point it won’t be needed.” The fae explained
“Ohhh.”
“That is bullshit I am a man!”
“Yes you are but you get to decide what that looks like nobody else gets to decide how you experience manhood just like no one gets to tell her how she experiences womenhood it can be scary navigating gender once you Realize all the rules are dumb and arbitrary and don’t mean anything. But it’s so freeing and you become so much happier for it
“What but that…”
The customer was silence
“So what size did you want your coffee?”
It was early the next day JC had put there baked goods in the back and looked around to see if there way anything they could do, the other fae employee was in the back working on inventory when the door opened as JC looked to see who it was only for their heart to stop.
“Hi welcome to Cafae latte, the food is made by a mortal so it will not curse you and it is also very delicious.” The fae manager said as the customer big and soft like a teddy bear wearing a plaid flannel shirt with dark Locs stepped in holding a laptop bag.
The customer waved
“Hi…would it be rude to ask some questions about the fae?” The customer said putting their laptop bag on the ground by there feet.
“It would largely depend on the question." The fae manager said
“Theyre mostly about changelings.”
JC noticed the boss didn’t say anything but there was a very subtle wince in her posture.
“…ask away…”
“Well…sorry this was a bit of a hyperfocus for a while.”
The customer got and read off there phone as they said
“There are a variety of myths and legends surrounding them it seems some were used to explain the high rates of infant mortality back then but other changelings were said to have such traits as physical or mental disabilities or simply the inability to grasp social cues periods of non verbalism and other autistic traits so… which is true?”
The fae nodded expecting this question.
“The infant mortality one. No one is going to search for someone they think is Dead after all, back in the day it was “fashionable for fairies to have human servants… slaves. And it was best to have them grow up in the fairy court so they knew our customs but it turns out humans don’t like to be enslaved go figure so it mostly didn’t stick.” The fae said
“So there’s no chance that those changelings would grow up?” The customer asked
“No they weren’t even people they were just carved pieces of wood to look like a baby… did you think you were a changeling?”
The thought did cross my mind.” The women said as JC squeezed there own arm whether it was for comfort or something else they didn’t know.
“…especially since fairies are now a real thing in this community I was diagnosed with Autism when I was a kid and I had a hard time fitting in anywhere. It sounds ridiculous now but I thought I would ask.”
The fae women sighed “your autism doesn’t make you less human, it just makes you different. Anyway who says otherwise is the one lacking in humanity.”
“Yeah I know it took me a while to internalize it but I know.”
At that point JC slid out of the back to take a better look at the black goddess.
“So no chance of cool magic Fairy powers?”
“Well let’s not go too far Humans and fairies have been known to take lovers from time to time but it depends on where the children is born that’s the important thing. So you have any iron allergies?”
“I’m not sure but I’ve got this iron ring before it was a pretty stone but I can’t wear it anymore because I always get a rash when I wear it.” The women said as the women held up her hand and the rash The fae looked at it. Humed
“Well that’s a clear sign if I have ever seen one.”
The women began to stim pressing the pads of her fingers together. Going from pinky to pointer finger and back down.
“So it’s not normal to get that kind of rash from touching iron?” The women asked
“No if you were at least half fae it would burn see this rash here? be glad your mostly human because this hurts.” The fae women said
“You mentioned it depended on where the child was born?” JC asked from the back.
“Yes. If the child is born on earth it will be a mortal child but if the child is born in the fae realm it will become a fae with all the magic that’s in the air there.” The fae said before looking at the door.
“Hi welcome to Cafae latte.” The fae said as the other employee stepped out.
“Yeah hi…just a thought you shouldn’t talk about personal things in the workplace.”
“That is an absolutely ridiculous rule especially in this kind of workplace where talking about personal things with the customers can make there experience much more enjoyable.” The fae said shaking her head.
“Well it’s incredibly unprofessional.”
“Professionalism is just a set of arbitrary rules to allow people to discriminate against neurodivergent people disabled people and people of color.” The plaided customer said still stimming
“What are you talking about it does not. Professorialism just let’s people know who your able to work with. And who knows what there doing.”
“No it doesn’t take what I’m doing with my hand here this is called stimming now stimming helps people like me with autism do a viarity of things like manage under or over stimulation or focus on the task at hand or regulate our emotions. Now would this be considered professional behavior?”
The other customer scoffed “of course it’s not it’s very distracting you should learn to control yourself better.”
“This is me controlling myself.” The heard the hot goddess say.
“Whatever I was going to buy something but I can see none of you are professional enough to handle my order Goodby miss…whatever your name is.” As the women left.
The other customers blinked as they left
“Did I cross a line?”
“No if you didn’t say anything I would have.” The fae said
“Or I would have.” The fae employee said having snuck out a snack from under JC’s gaze.
“Oh sprinkles. We’ve been getting a lot of Assholes lately.”
The fae manager sighed “yeah yeah we have, but it is entertaining I mean who would want us to have to deal with regular customers anyway? Right Jennifer charlers?” She said.
JC looked over the two fae…
“I just realized i don’t know any of your names.”
“Of course not we’re faries.” The fae employee said
“Well yeah but not even a nickname?”
The customer stimming looked over JC and said
“You can call me Nicole.”
“…I’ll keep that under advisement.” The fae manager said
“I feel like i just made a big mistake.”
“You did. Fairies don’t need the full name they just need a name that you use.” The employee said
“Oh…” Nicole said before stimming harder
“It’s okay I told her my full name too so if we get puppit we’d probably get controlled together. It’s JC short for Jennifer Charles they/them pronouns
Nicole was silent as JC silently cringed but The fae manager did notice it.
“I’m gonna call the boss lady Bob.” JC said trying to break the tension.
The other employee snorted.” As the fae weighed it in her head.
“I’m not good at reading people at all but I feel like she deserves something more… regal.” Nicole said
“No no. I will accept bob.” The fae now named Bob said
“Ooh I want to be Cyrus that flower song slaps.”
JC took there cap off there pen and did a dramatic knighting ceremony. “I now dub thee… Cyrus.”
“Yay woop woop!”
“I think that woman might have had been almost right about professionalism.” Bob said
Nicole looked at Bob questioningly before Bob spoke up.
“Now a warning an amoral fairy would probably curse you to not be able to speak about changelings again seeing as whike the practice is in its dying days it’s not over and they like to keep a lid on that.” Bob said to Nicole as she gulped having fear in her eyes for being cursed.
Bob let the words hang in the air for a while before saying to Nicole “you are free to leave.”
Nicole pivoted picked up her bag and walked out the door without ordering anything. As Bob noticed JC hide a sigh before sitting down to wait for the bus
Cyrus looked at Bob who was pensive about what just occurred.