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As New York was going to shit at an alarming rate, I fled the scene. Like many other civilians.
Of course, I wasn’t a civilian, but no one could know that.
So, I ran. Past robot-aliens. Dodging purple crossfire that smelled like burnt coffee beans (oops, no wait that’s just my shirt). Sliding over cars like it wasn’t my first rodeo, ducking under flying debris, and then– bam! a green guy fucked up the pavement and knocked me over. Damn, no time to cuss him out. I scrambled to my feet and ran again.
That’s when three of them jumped me. They smelled disgusting. Weird, metal-limbed, zombie-looking alien types. My fists acted quicker than my brain. Limbs were flying, heads spun, and one by one, they were gone. Muscle memory? Yup. Pure instinct? Absolutely. No remorse? Definitely. And then I was running again, because well… keeping all limbs comes first.
Running, dodging, running, gasping– bumping into someone, with a shield, who looked (and smelled,) like he was hurt (of blood.).
“Oh, sorry,” I said, disheveled, but ready to move on.
“Those were quite some moves for a civilian, kid. But the evacuation zone is that way.” Cue a finger toward the direction I was headed. “This is no place for a civilian to be,” said none other than Captain America.
“Funny you should say that I was actually–” something in between a scream and a surprised yelp tore from my lungs (embarrassing), as I was lifted off the ground by a flying alien. Abducted. Great.
“Kid!” a shield was thrown my direction but it hit the bottom of the alien vehicle with a sharp clang.
—
“Hold on, let me get this right. You were attacked by three Chitauri, managed to fight your way out of it, and then bumped into Captain America, and then you were abducted by a Chitauri on a chariot?” asked Nick Fury, tapping a pen on the side of his coffee mug ‘Best Boss Ever’. He sat in front of me, the table between us.
Chitauri, huh? So that’s what they’re called.
“Did you buy yourself that mug?” I said, earning a smile from Captain.
“Answer. The question.”
“Uh- yeeeah, basically,” I respond at command, and lean back into my chair. I look to Captain America, who stands against the wall with crossed arms, while I sit here with my hands cuffed to the cold table (I say this even though the cold of it doesn’t bother me) in a room with mirrors (double-sided, probably) and a buzzing lamp (Damn you electrician’s, it’s hard enough to tell stories as it is without some stupid lamp distracting me). He isn’t suited up, and I have to admit, he is, unfortunately, very handsome. A shame I’m ‘too young’.
“What were you doing before the attack happened?” Captain asked.
“Well...”
—
The barista called my name loudly, and there was my second coffee of the day awaiting my pick-up. Black, otherwise, I might throw up.
"Thanks," I said and smiled warmly at him. Must suck being stuck here all day, especially on such a nice spring day. "No reason," he answered, and then I noticed him staring aggressively at me, then the tip cup and then at me again. The nerve of him. I chuckled awkwardly, tilted my head, and walked out of the store. Only the worthy get my money. The little I have, anyways.
Enjoying my coffee, I followed my usual path to the bus station. The sun was shining, and a cool breeze brushed my cheeks. "Hey... what’s that?" I turned to look at a couple. Gorgeous black girl, white lanky dude. He was pointing at the sky, which had a floating big-blue-and-purple-weird oval, with black in the middle. Small figures were descending from the blackness and to the city (The fuck?). "Uhh, good question babe. Are you sure your brother’s chocolate wasn’t filled with something weird?"
I didn’t get to hear the answer, because in that moment someone bumped into me and not only did he not apologize, but he also made me spill my coffee. All. Over. Myself.
"Dude!" I yelled but he seemed to be in a hurry. And then I heard screams behind me, and what I turned around to look at was something I never in my 303 years have ever seen.
Cue dramatic music.
There were the Chitauri attacking people, with weapons that shot purple laser. And they were also flying on their chariots.
Up at Stark Tower, could see Ironman almost crashing after being shot away from a blue orb or something. And then everybody had begun running. And my clothes had begun to turn coldly wet.
The people of Manhattan were definitely panicking, and they weren't being very thoughtful about anybody but themselves in the process of running. I should know, because people seemed not to notice me at all, so yeah, it felt like every single Manhattanite in my vicinity was set on bumping into me.
Ugh, they were like hunted cattle. Humans really needed to live up to their own ego. And to escape them I jumped up into a tree. Better survey and avoid losing foothold.
—
“And then the tree was cut down by the aliens. Really weird thing to set your mind to. Like imagine, you’ve just arrived–”
“We get it. Continue.” said Fury.
“Rude.”
—
Back in the sky, I was still being abducted by a Chitauri. So, in one, clean, move, I tore its head off its socket, and pushed it off the flying vehicle. What remained was its dark purple blood (or oil? whatever) covering me. And it also got on my face and on my tongue, which was horrible. It had a metallic, gasoline-like taste, and was just plain disgusting. Gagging, I sat down on the vehicle, desperately trying to wipe it off my face and tongue. Especially tongue.
Of course, I belatedly recalled that I was literally still flying, and as a punishment of sorts my vehicle collided with another chariot. I watched as my chariot crashed to the ground (R.I.P. alien bike. Will be missed.) while I landed harshly on my back, on the back of the other bike right behind some dude in a green cloak with golden accents. He had weird golden horns, a staff with a blue shiny rock, and black greasy hair. And a stupid smug grin was decorating his face, like he had some god-complex or something (spoiler, he did).
“What the hell?” I muttered, more a statement than a question.
“Shh,, shh,,” he said, a finger to his lips, shushing me. Not calming.
“You are in the presence of a god, mortal! Loki of Asgard, god of mischief, and soon… the ruler of this, pitiful, planet!” and his smirk widened, turning into something more unhinged (suiting his greasy hair), and his voice dropped an octave. “Revel in it.”
Oh, yeah. He was definitely nuts.
And of course he was in a position to look down at me, literally, which just made the whole scene even more stupid.
“Shut up,” I said, returning his gaze with an annoyed look, while I got up. I was not having the whole ‘I have the high ground’ moment with some god wannabe.
“Your parents must have forgotten to wash that filthy mouth of yours...” He said with a lighthearted yet sinister tone. While he took a pause for dramatic value, I came to realize that the blue rock – the one on the end of his spear – reminded me of something. It had the exact same color and the wavelength it emitted was also identical to the blue orb on the Stark Tower (yeah, I can tell the difference between that, super hearing, big deal). Which could only mean.. Noo, probably not. Right? It couldn’t be connected– it shouldn’t! But the stone is evidence for the fact that I probably (and sadly) am right (yet again).
Sadly, because that meant I would have to do something about it. Vampires have morals too, you know (Might just be me though.).
—
“How did you know that the stone and the Tesseract were connected?” Fury asked. Questions, questions, questions. Let me finish my story time, dammit.
And how am I supposed to even respond? “Yeah, well that would be because I got bitten by a vampire in 1722 which gave me enhanced senses, strength and blood thirst. Yeahh! That was a while ago, now that you mention it! Sure, you can conduct experiments on me, I definitely won’t mind!”
Not happening.
“Don’t really know. Call it an instinct, call it intuition, call it whatever you want. Doesn’t change the fact that I could just feel it. I mean, who knows, maybe it talked to me, or something. The stone did have the power of mind control after all, right?”
—
“Tell me, why do you think humans insist on being so unruly? Like sheep escaping the shepherd instead of the wolf? You were created for gods to rule over you! And yet, when I come to reshape your world for the better– you reject me. It’s truly puzzling,” he finishes.
“Dunno. Maybe they– we– don’t like the shepherd. Humans already believe in a lot of different gods, and they already clash over those, violently so. Don’t think it’d unite them, having you rule over them. Or maybe it would. Hate and oppression do make a wonderful bonding tool,” I finish, and snort.
And then I put my master plan to work. Operation: Pretty rock.
Left hook, snatch the spear. Push him overboard.
I manage my left hook.. I get my hand on the prize.. I push him overboard.. Wait scratch that. My hand goes right through him. Yet my left hand remains on the spear.
He laughs right in my face. “Did you really think I,, the god of mischief himself, would fall for such an obvious move?”
“Yeah.”
And then he catches an arrow. Both our heads dart at it, yet my eyes move further, and they lock with the culprit’s. And then the arrow explodes.
We crash onto the Stark Penthouse Pad (huh, didn’t know we had reached it already), and sounds of shattering glass and a loud clank, clank comes from Loki’s horned head piece and also from the tip of the spear which I had gained in the fall. I groan in pain and get up just in time to watch something green coming hurtling from below the tower, crashing into Loki, preventing him from stealing the spear back, and they crash through the glass behind us, cue more noise.
Loki crashes into the wall and collapses into the floor. Standing up, he is greeted by the sight of the green beast getting ready to rock his shit. “Enough!” he yells, and I think I see a vein about to pop in his temple. “You are- ALL OF YOU ARE BENEATH ME! I AM A GOD, you dull creature– and I, WILL NOT BE BULLIED-” he probably wanted to continue, but couldn’t. The green guy had gotten him by the legs. And he lifted him, very fast, and crash! into the floor, and again, and.. oh shit, that’s gotta hurt. He’s smashing Loki into the floor repeatedly. Apparently, it had become boring, because he then threw Loki away like an old toy, leaving him to process the pain and humiliation in a dent in the floor.
“Puny god” said the green guy. His voice was so weird. It was like two voices intermingled, one lighter, one deeper.
A small sound comes from Loki, but if im being honest, I might have been about to shit my pants, so I didn’t really notice. The green guy was looking straight at me. Like, straight at me. He wasn’t not blinking, just staring. Am I about to get my shit rocked too?..
“You.. smell.”
No. Fucking. Way?!
I just stand there, mouth agape, for a couple of minutes. Because like… what? An eight ft something green beast just fucking destroyed— and I mean DESTROYED a ‘god’, and now he’s telling me, that I… smell?
Let me clarify: I don’t smell. I have good hygiene. I have better hygiene than the average human, and I smell better because I can’t sweat. Yet it thinks I smell. Wow, I am deeply offended. Like wow. This’ll keep me up at night. Was it maybe because I’m not really human? God, I hope not.
And then he just walked off. And I just watched, mouth wide. And Loki was still lying there... wait, is he unconscious? His heartbeat was slower, and so was his breath-… yup, he was out.
Then the reflective surface of the spear caught my eye and reminded me of what was upstairs.
So, I jump a great deal of the way up, and climb the small rest. To the top of the Stark Tower.
And then I was face to face with a redhead.
She looked over at an old man, and he shaked his head and shoulders in response. “Who are you?” she asked, head nodding upward at the question while she eyed the spear.
“Are you.. with the green guy?” If they were, they had to be with the team defending New York. Would make deducting what comes next so much easier.
“Yeah, Hulk. Listen, we need that spear to turn off that,” she pointed to behind her. “And we really need to do so. It’s the only way to stop this battle, and stop the non-stop incoming waves of aliens. So, if you wouldn’t mind handing it over..” she said, now looking me in the eyes.
I stood there thinking for a minute, weighing my options. On one hand, they didn’t seem like bad guys, and she did say they were with the green guy, and even called him Hulk which I now was assuming to be his name. On the other hand, it would probably be devastating for Manhattan and New York if I was wrong and they weren’t here to do any good. But hey, when’s the last time I was wrong?
“Yeah. Yeah, sure, of course,” I said, placing it in her awaiting hand. She gave me a grateful nod and a smile, and that was when I began thinking of plans of escape. Like c’mon, they are gonna be after me, after so many of them have seen me doing not-human things. It won’t be good if these guys reveal my secret.
Yeah. I have to go.
Therefore, I quietly slipped off of the roof. Down, and down and down, ooo a coffee machine. Yeah I deserve a coffee after this shit show. Definitely.
—
“That’s about it. I’m impressed with your patience, I had expected a few more interruptions, but I'm here for it," I said to Fury, and then I looked to Captain America again. He hadn't moved a muscle the entire time I had been sitting in the room. I went to scratch my nose and the cuffs rattled. Right the cuffs. "Are these really necessary? I mean, haven't I proved I'm on your side already?"
Captain looked at me, and then at Fury. He seemed to be in deep thought. "She's onto something Fury. Why is she being treated like a criminal? She's just a kid after all."
A ‘kid’ that could keep up to their speed in battle. While holding back.
"Because I needed to know I could trust her. I'm aware you could break those handcuffs if you really wanted to. But you haven't," he said, and the reign of the tapping on the cup finally ended.
"How would you like to become an Avenger?"
“Does that come with health insurance?”