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Sam sighed, it had already been a long day and they were only one hour in. Sure, Veronica did her best to try to make it go quicker but the more the time passed, the more they could only think about the place that themself and so many others just decided to leave at the word of its creators.
Sam buried their face within a cave made from their hands as they groaned, "I can't focus, Veronica. I don't know what's wrong with me, I...Mghhhh..."
Veronica sighed and took a seat beside them at the kitchen table. She tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come out right, how could they? Sure, it had been a little over a decade since they were forced to leave behind what were some of the handlers' first jobs and not to mention the toons within the facility...but it was hard to not think about everything. Veronica would be lying if she claimed that she didn't miss her own toon, Vee, or if she said that she never saw Vee as a daughter of sorts.
In fact, sometimes it clouded her judgement, it was almost as if Vee were dead, almost. While some would consider it a cruel thought, at the very least those who had lost someone to death had the certainty of knowing where they were, what was going on in their life.
Instead of speaking any of her privation, though, Veronica just stared at the wedding band on her finger, and spoke with a shaky breath, "I...I know what you mean." her voice became louder, more frantic as she spoke, "But what can we do, Sam? I...We're not allowed there, legally! I miss them...I miss her so much, but what can we do?"
Sam didn't have the answers to their shared problems. Oh God, they wished they had the answers, they wished it every waking moment, but they didn't and that terrified them more than they could describe.
Instead of trying to fix everything, Sam just collapsed into Veronica, hugging her as the two of them both sobbed into each other, wishing they could go back to before Gardenview closed, and prevent any of this from ever happening.
Veronica sniffled and choked down her remaining sobs, "I feel so pathetic right now. I'm supposed to be the strong one, the one who doesn't cave under pressure, yet here I am, crying over something that happened over ten years ago, over toons that probably don't even think about us, but why would they? They probably think that we abandoned them. I mean, I guess we did abandon them, but it's not like any of us actually wanted to."
"I know, I know. And knowing those toons, it scares me to death every day. The last time we were there, Sprout and Cosmo would always freeze up and get petrified whenever they almost burned down the place with their baking. I mean, Gardenview hasn't been on the news for it having been burned down by now, so I guess they must have learned a thing or two, at the very least."
Veronica laughed, it was sharp and bitter, but genuine, "I'm sure that Vee's keeping those boys in check. She always had a way of taking charge of things."
Sam burst into a fit of laughter, "And I'm sure Sprout probably found some way of teasing her to the point of wanting to send him away, never to be seen again, but of course he'd have some way of counteracting that movement!"
Over the years, this kind of thing had been common between the two, when things would get rough, they would imagine little things about their toons, scenarios if one would like to address it as such, always imagining the best for them, because if they didn't imagine the best then what was the point of imagining it? In a weird way, it was how they coped with the entire ordeal. It was the only way that they knew how to deal with it.
Veronica wiped the remaining tears away as she looked up at her legal paramour, "You know, there's a reason that I married you, Sam."
Sam smirked, wiping away the remaining of their own tears, "Is it because I'm overly gorgeous, hilariously funny, or some other reason?"
Veronica buried her face into their chest, hugging them, "You make me smile on my worst days."
Sam's smirk faded, but the genuine smile within it didn't, "You do too, Veronica. You do, too."
They stayed like that for longer than they realistically needed to, than anyone would ever think to, but the presence of each other was like a comfort sent from above, specifically made for each other, and a light that would never fade, even after the sun died and the world was ending.
Sam loosened their grip first, followed by Veronica letting go and leaving their warm arms, "Well," Sam started to say.
Veronica laughed, "Go leave for work, make that dollar!" she practically shooed them out of the door, giggling as she did.
"Hey!" her laughter was contagious to them, "I don't even have my shoes on! Are you trying to get me sent home early?"
"What if I am?"
"Then you're insane!"
"Well, I suppose that I'm insane, then. Aren't I, Sam?"
"I suppose that you are, Veronica."
Sam gave her a quick, meaningful kiss that spoke every word they had ever meant in less than a second, before making their way to the living room to finish preparing for the oncoming day.
Before exiting the room, the group photo with all the handlers and their mains got Sam's eye, before deciding to leave it alone for now. They had to focus on the life they had now, after all.
____________________________________________________________________________
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Austin crushed the pre-crumpled photograph for what was at the very least the second hundredth time in the last ten years. It invoked more emotions than he could care to describe to anybody, not like anyone would understand anyway.
For one thing, he hated the sight of it. Delilah stood proud with that smug smile of hers, right there with the rest of them, her arm wrapped around himself and Arthur like she owned them, and in a way, she kind of did.
On the other hand, it was the only photo he had of his toon, online or physical. Sure, he was positive he could easily find videos of Astro, but those would only be 2-D, and not the version of Astro that he knew. Austin, quite possibly, had done his job too well, making sure nobody got any photos of him. Then, when he thought about it, the photo angered him more. Delilah was the one who set the rule of no photos of Astro herself, then she had the audacity to force him to be in a photo with herself, all of the other handlers, and the main-class toons? Not to mention it was still on the online-page of Gardenview's website.
Austin huffed with frustration de-crumpling the already ruined photo and attempting to straighten it out.
Austin was a mess, his hair hadn't been washed in almost a week, and his depression was hitting him like a truck. It was probably about the time that Shannon would pop in for an unannounced visit as well, since he hadn't been answering her calls or replying to her texts, but functioning was getting harder again.
He couldn't bring himself to reply to anyone.
Every ounce of his energy was being used on getting up in the morning and doing the bare minimum to get by. In fact, his schedule was usually get up, chug more coffee than what was probably safe, do some online work meeting or answer some emails, and dissociate in his bed until he either fell asleep or Shannon dragged him out of bed to do something–anything with her and distract him, although he was hardly ever distracted by anything other than the thought of getting back home and into his bed.
And of course, he would also have these random, unexplained bursts of anger, that he could never explain, and it was because he didn't know where they came from, it was because nobody would believe him.
He felt like a monster, and the only way to deal with one was to trap it.
He glanced over at the article from over a decade ago, dated sometime before June 29, 2002, about Gardenview shutting down for safety regulations or whatever. He'd been meaning to study it, look for answers between the words, but he never had the energy.
Austin sat on his bed, then leaned down, his back sinking into the half-made mattress while his legs drooped as if they were being drowned in quicksand.
He couldn't even be bothered to turn off the lights, despite the fact he knew his electricity bill was already starting to get higher, but that didn't matter.
Nothing did anymore.
Not since he lost everything.
. . . .
How much time had passed?
Without a warning, Shannon opened Austin's bedroom door with the most cheerful grin on her face, a tray of freshly baked cookies in one hand, and a fresh bouquet of flowers in the other, "You really need to lock that door, Austin. Someone might notice and break in and take everything."
She phrased it like a joke, regular teasing, but it was a genuine concern of hers.
When Austin didn't reply she set the cookies on the table and replaced wilted roses with the fresh gardenias in the glass vase she'd brought over once.
With a defeated sigh, she plopped down on the bed, right beside her former co-worker, "You know you worry me, right Austin?"
She was scared for him.
He was a monster, he didn't deserve this kind of treatment from her or anyone.
And yet, here she was, treating him like he was normal, treating him like he deserved any of this, and he could never bring himself to understand the answer.
"You look frail," it wasn't a question, it wasn't a suggestion, "you should eat something."
Austin didn't sit up, he didn't look at her, but he gave her his attention, "I'm fine."
Shannon said, "I brought cookies," she sounded optimistic, like the sweet treat could change his mind, like the fresh-baked goods could fix everything, make it just like things were before Gardenview shut down, before he lost the one thing he let himself adore, before having that ripped away, too, "it would mean a lot if you tried them. Also, they taste best warm, so you better get some while they are!"
Austin glanced her way, he couldn't see her face, but he could see her eager, hopeful demeanor facing him, not away like he was some creature that didn't even deserve a passing keek, but also, wasn't that exactly what he was doing to her?
With a sigh, which was already worth more energy than he cared to give, he sat up and looked at her for the first time within what was probably the last month. He didn't think, he simply spoke, "How do you function, Shannon? You loved Shelly so much, so how do you go on? How do you know that there's no way that you could ever see your toon again, and be okay just living on with that knowledge? Never being to know if she's okay, or what's going on in her life?"
Shannon's smile didn't waiver, "Well, I know her! I trust Shelly has ALL the friends in Gardenview, and that she's happy and safe! Don't you think maybe Astro's happier after everything? I mean, he did hate all of the attention from the kids and parents, after all," she giggled, "and even if he is an introvert, like we all know that he is, he's bound to have some great friends, too! I mean he has Dandy, the other mains, and I'm sure even he's made friends with some of the other cast members, too!"
"Hm," Austin looked at the dirt-stained floorboard beneath the bed's legs as if it had all the answers, "I suppose."
"That's the spirit! Well, not exactly, but we're getting there, aren't we?" While she was making progress with him, she reached over to the bedside table which had visible dust on it, grabbed the tray of cookies, and practically shoved it in Austin's direction, "Now you should eat some of these! They're not exactly the best for you, but they're better than nothing! Also, I read online that if you don't really eat much, you probably shouldn't go and eat an entire meal. It messes with your body, or something like that, I don't remember the specifics, but it was informative enough!"
Austin hesitated but she was putting in so much effort, just for him. It didn't make sense, but he knew more than anyone that energy was precious, and he'd hate to be the reason she drained all of hers, so he grabbed a cookie and took a small bite from it.
Shannon lit up as if she were just told that she won a million dollars. Her eyes shone about as bright as the stars in the night sky and she looked as free as a bird.
Before he could even swallow his bite, Shannon dragged him into a warm bear hug, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" you would think based on her voice she was about to cry, but she was merely excited, glad that her friend decided to eat even something.
With the realization she was keeping Austin from eating, she let go, but she stared at him with the intensity of a cheetah locking onto its prey, just a lot more wholesome since she was trying to make sure Austin didn't kill himself, even accidentally, instead of trying to turn his dead corpse into her dinner, how the real wild feline would do in actuality.
Austin chewed slowly, but it was enough.
His effort was enough.
Austin didn't plan to finish eating the cookie, maybe just one or two bites if that, but the way Shannon looked at him and smiled made him eat the whole thing. The sweet dough of it made him feel bitter, he didn't deserve this, he didn't deserve anything good,
But Shannon did, and if this made her happy, then who was he to deny her of that?
"Do you want another one?" She was hopeful, as Shannon didn't even think that she'd get this far with him, but she knew that she was probably testing her luck at this point.
"No thank you," in fear of disappointing her, he quickly added, "not right now, anyway. I'm not all that hungry at the moment."
"That's okay!" she was cheerful, even with news she probably didn't want to hear, it was beyond Austin how, "How about we do something fun together? We could play a boardgame, watch a movie, or even get out of this place and go on a walk or something!"
Austin looked down at himself and mumbled, "I definitely shouldn't go out like this..."
"Then it's settled!" Austin perked up, he had no idea what she'd decided that they had settled together, "You'll go get ready, take a shower or what have you, and we'll go out on the town for a walk! It might help you to see the sun, anyway!"
Austin blinked once, then twice. He supposed he could understand where she got the idea that he wanted to go out, but in honesty he didn't, he was merely trying to come up with a reason why he couldn't go outside and face the world, but here she was, with her stupidly energetic face, and he couldn't bring himself to say no.
With a sigh, Austin stood up and brushed himself off, "I guess so,"
For the first time in what felt like, and most probably was years, he smiled genuinely at Shannon before grabbing everything he would need for a warm shower.
. . . .
Austin exited the small apartment's bathroom feeling better than he had in years, his hair was soaked as he hadn't bothered to dry it, but other than that, he actually looked okay for the first time in forever.
Shannon's already large smile grew once she saw him, "Austin, you look amazing!"
Austin wanted to sink away like so many times before, but instead, not because he felt he had to but because he meant it.
"You think so?" he shook his head rapidly before immediately realizing how awkward that sounded, "I mean thanks, thank you."
He felt a lot better physically, but although he wanted to be happy he also felt terrible about it. He was supposed to be there for his toon, and yet here he was, enjoying his life with someone else, with someone from the past nonetheless.
Yet, Shannon made him think, even just for a moment, that it was fine to be selfish, every once in a while, and not in a bad way, either.
Shannon took his hand, "Now come on, silly," she tugged him toward the door, "The outdoors isn't going to bring itself in!"
Austin happily followed her, the world was brighter than his room, but the air was fresh and much warmer than the chilly apartment room. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, as if he were taking all of it in for the first time. Sure, he'd been outside, but that only every once in a while to get groceries that he barely used, maybe once or twice a month at most, so considering it was toward the end of the month, it really had been a while, hadn't it?
The two scouted out a path that led downtown and decided to follow it. Shannon didn't really have a destination in mind, she just wanted to get him out of his house so he couldn't force himself to be a shut-in.
They walked in silence for about two miles, before Shannon asked, "Are you feeling hungry at all? Because I feel half-starved and could go for something right now!"
It was an obvious and pitiful attempt to get him to try to eat something more than just a small cookie, but despite himself, Austin couldn't bring himself to say no.
"I mean, if you are, we could take a break and get something to eat."
Shannon's smile didn't falter, it wasn't a no.
It wasn't a yes or an eager declaration, but it wasn't a no.
"Great! There's this awesome place over on the next block we should totally check out together!"
After what felt like a turn and a leap, the two arrived at the place Shannon mentioned. It was upscale but casual. It was the kind of place that had music playing and friends went to, but you usually wouldn't go unless it were a special occasion.
The waiter took the two to a table and they sat down and ordered drinks.
Shannon hummed, "What sounds good? Who am I kidding, all of it does! I just don't know what to get!" she looked up at Austin, "What are you thinking?"
Austin said, "Oh, I dunno, I didn't bring my wallet, I didn't expect to-"
"Nuh-uh! You're not pulling that one on me, Austin! I brought my wallet because this is my treat, don't worry about it!"
"But-"
"No buts! And don't you dare think about paying me back, either. As I'm saying right now, whatever you order's on me, okay?"
"Alright, thank you, Shannon. I really don't deserve you."
"Sure ya do! Just because you don't see your worth doesn't mean that other people can't!"
"I...huh."
The waiter came back with their drinks and took their orders.
Austin ordered some sort of seasonal squash soup and Shannon got a sandwich with more unique items on it than the amount of dog breeds that existed on Earth, which last he checked was about 175 fully recognized ones. With that amount, he wondered how many would be recognised in the '20s. Probably a lot, that's for sure.
Shannon took a sip of her soda and asked, "If it's not a question you're uncomfortable with, what's really going on, Austin? You've been like this since Gardenview shut down. When we worked together–and maybe it's my perception because all we were was coworkers–but you always seemed so confident in yourself, and weirdly happy? Was it all because of Gardenview, or is there something else going on that I don't know about?"
"It's...It's not going to change anything if I tell you. Then again, can it really make things worse?"
He buried his face in his hands, trying to block out all the light before his fists slammed on the table with much more force than he meant to use. He looked at Shannon, expecting resentment in fear, but all he saw was compassion, "Go on?"
"It's...All of it's about Gardenview, but not necessarily about the end, you know? In reality, it's a lot of things, more than I could ever begin to describe."
But it wasn't a series of unexplainable occurrences, but it wasn't the end, either. Yet, he still couldn't explain. Nobody, not even Shannon, listened to him back then, why should anyone, even her, now?
The day was dreary, clouds threatened to spill from overhead as Delilah closed the doors of Gardenview. The last of the parents had left with their children, and all of the workers should have gone home by now, too.
But one of them stayed, Austin.
Bitterly, she made her way over to him, an impromptu meeting was the last thing she wanted to do right then, but she had no choice, after all, he said that it was 'urgent' but she simply didn't have the time during work hours, and neither did he.
"So, you wanted to meet with me, is that correct?"
"Yeah," he was confident, much like Delilah herself, but that made him the most untrustworthy guy she could think of, "I just had a couple of concerns. Don't you think having the machines out on the toon-themed floors is kind of dangerous? Kids like to grab and turn things and-"
She cut him off, "Look, the machines have a very clear 'employees only' label on them. It's the parents' job to keep their children from touching that stuff. We need that machinery on every floor, and you wouldn't deny the toons of something that they need, would you?"
"No, of course not, but perhaps even just blocking off the machines during operational hours-"
Delilah grabbed his arm, her nails dug into his skin as she gripped his arm like a vice, "I suggest that you stop asking questions if you know what's best for you, Austin. I know my place, maybe you need to reevaluate yours."
It took everything in Austin not to cry right then, it was a simple maneuver but it was painful, excruciatingly so. He bit down on his lip, to the point of tasting blood before she loosened her grip and smiled, "Is that understood?"
Immediately as she let go, he pulled his arm back, "I...Yes, I understand, but-"
Austin didn't even blink, he didn't have the time. In a smooth, swift motion, Delilah grabbed his arm and snapped it.
CRAAAACKKKKKKKK
He screamed out in agony, it hurt like nothing he'd ever felt before. The pain dropped him to his knees as tears welled up and began streaming down, so when he looked up at Delilah, his vision was blurry, but his vision was sharp.
"You should probably get that checked out," he could only imagine her grinning a sickeningly gleeful smile, as if she'd lost herself long ago, "A broken arm can start to get infected within twenty-four to seventy-two hours if not properly treated."
"You..." Austin's voice failed him as he sobbed from the excruciating pain, "...Because I was concerned? I knew...but I never thought that you would stoop to something so low. Why?"
"If you're questioning me now, what's stopping you from questioning me to the public, the press, the police? This is the only way to make sure that you stay silent, Austin."
"What, fear? Even after...Even after this I'm...I'm not scared of you."
Delilah's form blurred as more tears continued to flow like a neverending waterfall, it sure was hard to seem confident in such a compromising state.
Delilah almost laughed, Austin wished that she did, maybe then he could find a reason to find anything in this situation even modestly humoring, "You don't have to be scared of me, not for yourself, anyway. But think of it like this," she kneeled down to look him in the eyes, so he could undeniably see her face, "If I'm willing to do this to a human over something like this, what am I capable of for something I view as less than? Astro's pretty uncompliant, you know...It would be a shame if he started reaping the consequences of his actions."
Austin tightened his jaw and grumbled, "You wouldn't..."
And yet, she would do this, and she wasn't even scared of the consequences because what would happen if he reported her? Sure, she would be taken into custody for assault, but what about Gardenview? Delilah and Arthur were a team...He couldn't risk Arthur giving up on Gardenview if Delilah because that would mean...
Regardless of how much he despised her, he couldn't...no...
"Agh!" When Shannon reached out, Austin flinched, it was as though he were back in the Gardenview parking lot, Delilah reaching out to break his arm, he looked at Shannon teary-eyed, "I'm...I'm sorry."
He wiped away his tears, and Shannon gave him that look he'd come to loathe more than resentment, pity.
"You don't have anything to apologize for, Austin. I'm sorry for pushing you, clearly that memory, whatever it is, is much too painful to talk about. I shouldn't have pressured you to talk about it, you're already out of your comfort zone by being here. So, I'm sorry, really."
Austin looked at the table before meeting Shannon's eyes, "It's not your fault, Shannon. All that you wanted to do was help."
Shannon sighed, "If you say so," but she didn't believe it.
Austin reached out his hand across the table to Shannon, "If it's any condolence, it's not you that I'm scared of, alright? Just..."
"Scared of what I made you remember, right? That was still caused by me, though."
"I could never be scared of you, I'm not scared of the memory either. I was just scared at that moment, and...Yeah."
Shannon smiled, "Do you promise you're not lying to me?"
"I promise," and the best part of this whole conversation was, Austin wasn't lying.
Delilah wasn't here, she wasn't able to hurt him. He had no reason to be scared, not of Shannon, not of the memory, nothing.
Sure, whenever his mind forced him to relive it, of course he was scared, but he wasn't scared of the memory itself. It was the kind of thing that was impossible to explain if you had never been through it yourself.
The waiter decided to arrive at the moment, to bring out their food, which neither of them was complaining about it, though. It was better than him walking into a panic attack or an awkward conversation between the two.
"Thank you so much," Austin said.
"Thank youuuu!" Shannon cooed giddily.
The waiter left them to talk out their much calmer conversation while they ate. They spoke about nothing and everything at the same time, it was almost serene even. They laughed about the good aspects of the old days and where exactly they were career-wise now that chapter was over.
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The Circus Troupe finished their final act, bowing to the clapping crowd as everyone amidst it cheered. Since Vee was kind enough to lend them the stage in her themed room, they'd been starting to put on more acts for the toons. It definitely beats constantly bumping into that old tree in the center, anyway.
Not to mention Book Club often met there to read or whatever a club about books did. While it wasn't the most peaceful place in all of Gardenview, the Troupe understood why they met there, so they figured it was best to find a new place to perform, though Yatta felt it was kind of pointless since Razzle and Dazzle always came to their shows anyway, so what was the point of swapping spaces? The lobby may have been smaller, but it was higher traffic, yet again she wasn't exactly complaining, either.
The buzzing group of toons dispersed from the stage, happily talking about the show and Looey grinned, "We did great today, guys!"
Blot signed happily as he spoke, [Genuinely! I think it was the best show we've put on in years! It looks like all of that extra practice paid off, hm?]
Yatta jumped, trying to calm down from the excitement she felt, but despite having the lowest amount of stamina in the trio, she acted like it was unlimited.
In a way, it sort of was, since she could just eat a stamina candy or a box of chocolates, so it never became an issue during performance, other than the fact she had to hide the fact she was eating anything mid-performance.
Razzle turned his head to Dazzle, "Wasn't that awesome? The Circus Troupe are amazing!"
Dazzle nodded, "Agreed! Say, what time is it? Weren't we supposed to meet with Brightney and Astro for Book Club right about now?"
Razzle looked around for any clock but none gave away the time, "Lets..let's just hope we're not late-"
"Yeah, I'd feel awful, I can't believe that we forgot."
. . . .
The lobby was completely empty save for Brightney leaning against the tree, smiling as she looked down at a book, but the twins were skeptical that she was actually reading, or simply looking at the pages to distract herself.
Brightney noticed the twins approaching her and she looked up and grinned, but it felt hollow, her smile didn't quite reach her eyes.
The two noticed but didn't want to say anything. If she were trying to hide it, she simply didn't want it pointed out, that's just who she was.
Razzle whispered to Dazzle, "Astro's not here, did we completely abandon her-?"
Dazzle whispered, "Unless the meeting's already over, I think so."
Brightney said, "Oh, by the way, if you're here for book club, the session's done today! I'm just here doing some solo reading!"
Razzle hesitated, Oh, okay! Well, we'll see you, Brightney!"
"Yeah," Brightney said dejectedly, "I'll see the two of you later, then."
The siamese twins left, leaving her alone. She at the very least hoped she would get to hear a story of wher
e they were, what they did, or so much as an apology for missing the meeting.
At the very least they showed up, though. Astro on the other hand, didn't give so much as a moment to pass at all. Maybe he was busy, or more probably asleep, but a girl could hope, couldn't she?
Brightney sighed, leaning against the tree and balancing her book about light with her knees so she could prop it up, and stare at the page's contents once again before sighing as she waited for what felt like an eternity until eventually she decided to give up on waiting on go to her toon room, it was getting dark and she doubted that Astro would be coming anytime soon. She may as well take the time to rest instead of waiting all night for a toon that would never come, especially not that late after their scheduled meeting time for the day.
She laid down in her bed before drifting to sleep, and a restless dream.