Chapter Text
Kili’s heart stopped beating as he stared at the papers taped to his door. He ripped them off as he stumbled into the small and rundown apartment, panicking as the words “Notice of Petition” stood out in bold, glaring letters.
Shit, shit, shit.
His landlord had filed an eviction case against him. Fuck. He knew he was a bit behind on the rent, but his landlord had agreed to give him more time. Of course, that was more than a week ago, and this was the third month in a row that it had happened. It also probably didn’t help that he had only been there for three months. But still…
What the fuck was he supposed to do?
He dropped down on the second-hand daybed, his only piece of furniture other than the shaky card table and folding chair that served as his desk.
He was doing all that he could do. He was working two jobs while desperately trying to keep up with his schoolwork, but there were only so many hours in a day. All he had had to do was hold out until January, when he could apply for student loans and get back on his feet. It was December and he was so close, but it looked like his time had run out.
Kili choked on a sob as his eyes blurred with tears. Where was he supposed to go if he were evicted?
His parents had completely cut him off, which is what led to him living in this shithole of an apartment in the first place. He had been too ashamed to tell his friends what had happened, and was honestly a little afraid that they wouldn’t want to help him anyway.
He felt guilty even thinking as much. Fili had been his best friend ever since they had been paired together in that stupid three-legged race during orientation their freshman year, and Legolas, Fili’s elven roommate from freshman year onward, had slowly warmed up to both of them, his girlfriend Tauriel bringing their trio up to a quartet sophomore year.
But he had barely seen them since the beginning of the semester, before he was disowned and forced to move. He had no cell phone anymore, and didn’t share any classes with any of them, so it was hard for them to get in touch with him, and when they did manage to run into him, he was usually running to class or work. They probably just thought he had blown them off for the past few months.
Kili couldn’t hold back the tears as he realized he was going to be homeless in a week or so. All because he had fell in love and hadn’t wanted to hide it from his parents.
A hysterical laugh ripped from his throat as he realized he hadn’t even seen Fili since he had come out to his parents. Not that it mattered. Though they had never really discussed it, he was fairly positive that Fili was straight. Fuck, how pathetic was he? He had thrown his life away with both hands and had absolutely nothing to show for it.
He balled the papers up and threw them across the room before flopping facedown onto his pillow and resolving to not worry about it. It’s not like he could do anything about it. He owed over five hundred dollars on his rent, and he had absolutely no way of getting it before he was evicted. If this was going to be one of his last nights in an actual bed, he was going to at least sleep in it while he could.
#
“Kili!” a voice called him as he hunched over his textbook in the courtyard about a week later. It was such a nice day, he had decided to catch up on his studying outside. When he spotted Fili rushing over to him, a determined look on his face, he regretted not hiding in the library as he usually did.
“Fili,” he said hesitantly, fidgeting under the intense blue gaze fixed on him. “Hi. It’s been a while.”
He had almost forgotten how handsome the other dwarf was. Losing Fili had probably been the worst part of this entire ordeal, and that was including the fact that he was pretty sure the locks on his apartment would be changed when he got home. He had been expecting that shoe to drop all week, which is why his backpack was stuffed with as many clothes as it could fit.
“Where have you been? You missed the DSA’s pre-finals movie night!” he demanded.
Kili winced at that. He had followed Fili to the Dwarven Student Association freshman year, at first leery of being accepted by his fellow dwarves. Kili had never really been a typical dwarf. He was too lanky, his features to angular, his beard not full enough. To make matters even worse, he had been raised by his adoptive human parents. But he had still gone to the DSA when Fili had asked. And while he always had a good time at the DSA’s get-togethers, he was sure they only accepted him for Fili’s sake.
No one could shun Fili Durin’s best friend after all. The dwarven monarchy may have ended a hundred years ago, but anyone with the Durin name was still treated like royalty.
Why did he have to fall in love with someone he never stood a chance with in a million years?
“I’ve had a lot of studying to do,” Kili mumbled, gesturing a little helplessly at his books scattered over the table.
“Kili, I’ve been worried about you,” Fili told him earnestly, taking a seat next to him and grabbing his hand. “You’ve hardly been around this semester, and you always look so tired…”
“Sorry, I’ve just been… busy…” he finished lamely. “This semester has been hard. Next semester will be better.”
He had already submitted his applications for student loans and for campus housing. With luck, he would have a crappy dorm room and a meal plan next semester, with absolutely no need to worry about where he was going to sleep or what he was going to eat. It sounded like heaven.
He just had to figure out how to survive until then. It was only about a month. Surely he could survive without a place to live for a month.
“I’ve missed you,” Fili told him softly, squeezing his hand slightly before letting go.
Kili forced himself not to tear up at that. “I’ve missed you, too,” he admitted, feeling guilty that he could ever think that Fili would give up on him just because he hadn’t been around. He wasn’t ready to tell the blond the full story, not when he wasn’t sure how to tell it without his feelings for Fili coming out, but at least he hadn’t lost the other dwarf completely yet. “I promise I’ll be around more next semester.”
Fili didn’t look entirely convinced, but a glance at his watch had him sighing. “Look, I can’t miss my next class, but will you be around for a while?” he asked hopefully.
He shook his head sadly. “I’ve got class,” he lied. In reality, he had work, but he couldn’t tell Fili that. It would definitely tip the blond off that he was having money issues, and he’d rather not lie to Fili anymore than he already had.
Because there was no way he could tell him the truth.
Fili’s lips pressed together, but he didn’t let the offer deter him. “Come by the apartment for dinner later. Tauriel is cooking so I promise you won’t be poisoned.”
He worried then inside of his lip. He had the afternoon shift at the toy store he worked in, but he got off at 7:30. Besides, a meal that wasn’t Ramen sounded nice. “I can come around 8?”
“Perfect,” he said, beaming at Kili as he stood. “I’ll see you then.”
Work was as hectic as he expected it to be. It was getting closer to Christmas, and parents were scrambling to buy presents for their kids. The crowd was only made worse by the North Pole set up in the back, with a line of kids eagerly waiting to have their picture taken with Santa. It made Kili thoroughly miserable, despite the fact that Christmas was his favorite time of year.
He figured the thought of sleeping on a park bench on Christmas Eve, though, would put a damper on anyone’s Christmas spirit.
Kili was absolutely exhausted by the time he got off of work, but was still happy to be going to the apartment Fili shared with Legolas instead of his own apartment, if he even still had an apartment.
“Kili!” Tauriel exclaimed in excitement as she opened the door, pulling him into the apartment and giving him a fierce hug. “I’m so glad you came!”
He gave the redheaded elf a small smile as he shrugged off his heavy coat, thicker than what he really needed as a dwarf but his parents had gotten it for him last Christmas, and they had never really been good a judging his different needs as a dwarf.
“Hello, Kili,” Legolas greeted him from where he was setting the table, giving him a warm smile. The blond elf was much more sedate than his fiery girlfriend, but they both had that solemn look in their eyes that came with the long-lives of the elven people. Though considered young among their people, Kili knew they were both in their fifties. Elves tended to keep their children sheltered in their own communities until they reached fifty.
Dwarves were similar. Their children didn’t leave home until their mid-twenties. Fili had been twenty four when he started at Eregion University, and would be turning twenty eight this coming February.
Which meant that Kili, as the only one raised by humans, was the youngest at only twenty one.
Fili grinned at him as he exited the kitchen with a pitcher of water. “Kili! You came!” he cried happily.
Kili flushed with shame as he realized the blond dwarf was so surprised because Kili had been so absent lately. “I said that I would,” he told him, trying to sound upbeat.
There must have been a defensive edge to his voice because Fili winced, but Tauriel was quick to cut in before he could reply. “Well, we’re glad you did. Grab a plate and get some pasta.”
She all but pushed Kili into the kitchen and towards the stove, where the noodles were drained and the sauce had just been taken off the simmer. He took a modest portion to start with, but Fili sidled up next to him and shot him a look. He rolled his eyes but took another scoop of noodles before dousing it all with sauce.
Fili had always thought he didn’t eat enough. It had amused Kili before, and he had dutifully eaten more whenever the blond frowned at his small portions. It hadn’t been a chore to eat until he was truly sated instead of being satisfied with the amount of food he was supposed to have. Unfortunately, he had grown used to it, and now that he had to ration his food more stringently than ever before, he felt the hunger even more keenly because of it.
“So Kili, where have you been all semester?” Tauriel asked curiously, eyes sparkling mischievously. “Last year it was almost as if you lived here with us.”
“You realize that you don’t live here, right?” Fili reminded her with a smirk. Though Tauriel spent most of her nights in the bed she shared with Legolas, she did technically still have a room in the athlete dorms with the rest of the track and field team.
She waved off the words as if they meant nothing. “So?” she prompted.
Kili shrugged, not really knowing what that eager gleam in her eye meant. “I’ve just been really busy with school. I’ve got some big projects I’m working on,” he lied.
Tauriel deflated at that and pouted. “I thought maybe you had found your One and were spending on your time with them.”
Fili glared at her while Legolas gave her a disapproving look. “It’s very rude to ask about a dwarf’s One,” her boyfriend told her with reproach.
“What! We’re friends!” she protested, looking to Kili for support. “Surely we’ve got the right to be a little curious! Right, Kili?”
Kili was suddenly regretting never taking the Dwarven Studies course that Fili and other members of the DSA had taken freshman year for an easy A. He hadn’t wanted his shameful lack of knowledge of his own people to be on his transcript for anyone to see.
“You don’t have to answer that, Kili,” Fili said, coming to his defense immediately.
“I wouldn’t be able to even if I wanted to,” he muttered bitterly as he twirled his fork in his pasta and took a big bite, nearly moaning at the taste as it hit his tongue. He probably wouldn’t have made the admission if his mind hadn’t been so bogged down with other worries.
Legolas blinked at him in confusion as Tauriel frowned. It took Kili a moment to realize that he had never really talked about his family with anyone but Fili.
“What do you mean?” the blond elf asked, cocking his head in puzzlement.
“I was adopted by humans when I was a baby,” Kili answered, trying to make it sound like it was no big deal. He shoveled more pasta into his mouth as his stomach grumbled at him for more, impatient now that it was actually being properly fed.
“How did that happen?” Tauriel asked in a scandalized tone.
He shrugged. “My family were the only Dwarves for hundreds of miles when my parents died in a car accident. There was no one really else to take me in.”
Legolas shook his head with a deep furrow between his brows. “Still, a elven family would have been better than human,” he said darkly.
Kili didn’t respond as he took a large bite of garlic bread. He knew that humans were looked at with suspicious by the other races. Considering that humans outnumbered them three to one and tended to envy the elves and dwarves their long lives, they were probably right to be suspicious.
Up until a few months ago, he may have defended his parents’ race. He didn’t feel as charitable right then, though, no matter how unfair it might be to project his negative feelings towards his parents onto the entire race of humans.
“I turned out alright,” he mumbled just to say something.
“Of course you did!” Fili agreed quickly. “And if you don’t know something, all you have to do is ask.”
Thankfully, Fili’s glare at Tauriel and Legolas caused the topic to be dropped, and the conversation quickly turned to the general complaining about finals and studying that typically dominated student conversations at this time of the semester.
Kili let it wash over him as he savored his food, grabbing another piece of garlic bread from the basket in the middle of the table to sop up the sauce on his plate. He poured himself some more water as he tried to ignore the way his stomach somehow felt both hungry for more and a little queasy at the same time.
He was torn between getting more or sitting quietly as he watched his friends finish their own meals, but the decision was taken away from him as Fili grabbed both their plates and disappeared into the kitchen, returning moments later with their plates loaded once more with pasta.
“Thanks,” he said shyly, eating his plate a bit more carefully as his stomach rolled a bit. This might be his last good meal until next semester. He didn’t want to get sick and throw it all up.
“Well, Legolas and I have a group project meeting at 10 so we better get going,” Tauriel announced as she pushed her plate away. “Since Legolas and I did the cooking, I trust you can handle clean-up duty, Fili?”
“You two go ahead,” he said, waving them off and beginning to clear the table. “I’ve got this.”
“I’ll help,” Kili offered, standing up as well. It was the least he could do after they had set him so well.
“Nope,” Fili said brightly, snatching the plate in front of Kili away before he could pick it up. “You’re the guest. You go find us something to watch on Netflix,” he ordered playfully, nodding towards the couch in the living room.
Kili would have protested, but he was honestly too tired. His full belly on top of his hectic day catching up with him as he collapsed on the couch, groaning as he sinked into the cushions.
How was it that Fili and Legolas’ couch was more comfortable than his bed?
He found a mindless comedy that they had both seen a thousand times but still enjoyed and pulled it up, waiting for Fili to be done cleaning before he played it. He had almost dozed off by the time Fili dropped down next to him and gazed at him in concern.
“If you’re tired, you can take my bed and sleep,” he suggested. “I’ll take the couch.”
Kili shook his head, forcing his eyes open and smiling at him. “No, I want to spend time with you,” he told him honestly, even if he was a bit groggy.
Fili smiled and took the remote from him to press play. “Alright then.”
They weren’t half an hour into the movie when Kili finally built up enough nerve to ask what had been on his mind all night. “What’s a One?”
The blond frowned thoughtfully, as if deciding how to phrase his answer. “Dwarves only fall in love once,” he explained after a moment. He gave Kili a smile. “Once we give our hearts away, that’s it. We call the person we give it to our One.”
“Oh,” he said as he processed that. Did that make Fili his One? “What if they’re not the right person though?” he asked in consternation. “What if they’re a different race? Or the same gender? Or what if… they don’t love you back?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Fili replied with a sad shake of his head. “The heart chooses, and that’s it. That’s one of the reasons we dwarves tend to come across as a bit standoffish sometimes around other races. We guard our hearts so that they aren’t given to the wrong people.”
“What if they are given to the wrong person?” he pressed, fearful that he had broken some unspoken dwarven rule by falling for Fili.
“Then we make the best of it,” he answered, a pained look in his eyes behind his smile. “We be whatever our One needs us to be for them.”
“Oh,” Kili said again, feeling like a horrible person. His One obviously needed him to be a friend to him, and he had all but abandoned him for nearly the entire semester.
He desperately wanted to ask Fili if he had found his One yet, but from Legolas’s reprimand of Tauriel earlier, he figured it wasn’t a polite question to ask.
“Why doesn’t anyone talk about them?” he asked instead. He had been going to the DSA for three years and had never heard anyone mention anything about Ones.
Fili shrugged. “It’s a pretty private thing. Besides, if two dwarves are each other’s One, it’s fairly obvious to spot. You’ll rarely see one without the other. And the more traditional ones sometimes where each other’s braids, but not always.”
Kili was relieved to realize that if Fili had a One, he would know about them. And since Fili didn’t spend all his time with any one person, he figured it was a safe bet that he didn’t.
Unless he had gotten one this semester without Kili’s knowledge.
“I feel kinda stupid for not knowing any of this,” he muttered bitterly. Maybe he would have guarded his heart more closely and not lost it so quickly to Fili. Maybe not, though. Fili was pretty amazing. He couldn’t see how everyone he met didn’t fall in love with him.
“It’s not being stupid if no one ever taught you,” Fili said reassuringly, slinging an arm over Kili’s shoulders comfortingly. “And I’m here if you ever want to know anything. No judgment.”
Kili smiled, allowing himself to lean into Fili’s warmth. “Thanks,” he muttered.
They settled back into the couch to finish the movie, Fili’s arm still around his shoulders. Kili didn’t even realize he had fallen asleep until Fili shifting his arm jarred him awake.
“Shh,” the blond murmured, standing up and pulling Kili up as well. The brunet staggered to his feet, still half-asleep as Fili wrapped an arm around his waist and led him to his bedroom. Fili maneuvered him until he was lying on the bed before reaching down and pulling his shoes off.
“I can’t take your bed,” he mumbled uselessly, already mostly asleep once more as Fili pulled the duvet over him.
“Yes, you can,” the blond murmured, brushing back Kili’s hair. He hummed at the touch, trying to lean into it as it was taken away. “Goodnight, âzyungâl.”
He frowned at the unfamiliar word, but sleep drug him back under before he could ask Fili what it meant.
#
Kili woke up in a panic, sure that he was meant to be somewhere, whether it was at the store or the bowling alley or class. It took him a moment to remember that his class that usually met that morning was an optional review class, and he didn’t have work until that afternoon. He sighed and settled back down onto the bed as his racing heart slowed, only to frown as he realized the bed beneath him was way too comfortable to be his lumpy daybed.
He flushed in shame as he remembered Fili tucking him into his own bed. He hadn’t wanted to put the other dwarf out. He didn’t want to be a bother. That was half the reason why he had kept his parents disowning him a secret.
Well, that, and he didn’t want to admit it was because he had fallen in love with his blond best friend.
He slid out of the bed and quickly slipped on his shoes he spied on the floor. He crept out of the bedroom hesitantly, not really knowing what to say after last night. He didn’t even know why he was making such a big deal out of it. He had stayed the night at Fili’s quite a few times over the past few years. Hell, it wasn’t even the first time the other dwarf had given him his bed.
He didn’t know why it mattered so much now, but it did.
Kili frowned as he saw the empty living room before he heard sounds coming from the kitchen. Fili beamed at him when he poked his head through the door, effortlessly flipping a pancake without even looking.
“Sleep well?” he asked cheerfully, acting as if Kili’s staying over were perfectly normal.
Because it was perfectly normal, he told himself harshly. He couldn’t act weird about it. If he did, Fili would know something was wrong.
“Yeah, thanks,” he answered, walking furthering into the kitchen and leaning back against the counter, peering curiously at what Fili was cooking.
A moment later, Fili was thrusting a plate piled high with pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon. The blond piled his own plate with food and waved Kili to the dining room.
“You didn’t have to cook me breakfast,” Kili told him as Fili came to the table with a carton of orange juice and a couple of glasses.
“Someone has to make sure you eat a proper dwarven portion of food,” he retorted playfully.
He smiled shyly as he poured syrup over his pancakes before tucking in with gusto. “Are you going home for winter break?” he asked.
Fili shrugged. “We haven’t decided yet,” he answered around a mouthful of pancakes. “Uncle Thorin has been talking about maybe us all spending the holidays at his house, so my mom and Uncle Frerin might be coming here instead, along with all my cousins from all over,” he added with a roll of his eyes.
The Durin family was very large, but his Uncle Thorin was the head of the family. Since neither of his uncles had any kids, though, Fili would be inheriting that title at some point. Not that it really meant anything, but it did come with the rather large Durin estate, not that Fili seemed to care about that one way or the other.
“How about you?” the blond questioned.
Kili stuffed his mouth with bacon to buy him time to answer. If he said he wasn’t going home, Fili might invite him around if he ended up not going home as well. With no schoolwork as an excuse, he would have to explain that he had to work. Which would mean he would have to explain why he had gotten a job and why he had kept it a secret from him.
He couldn’t do that.
“I don’t know yet,” he said, figuring a half-lie was better than a full lie.
Fili frowned at that but didn’t question it. “Well, if you do stick around, you know you’re welcome to join us for Christmas and New Years.”
Kili had been surprised at first to learn that Fili and his family celebrated Christmas. Fili had laughed when he told him as much freshman year, stating that dwarves celebrated for the sake of celebrating, even if it was a predominantly human holiday.
To be honest, the thought of curling up with Fili next to a Christmas tree and a roaring fire sounded like a dream to him, but he was pretty sure it’d only break his heart more to spend the holiday with the blond as just as friend.
“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind,” he mumbled into his eggs, even if he had absolutely no intention of following through.
“Are you ready for finals next week?” Fili asked, changing the subject.
“Um, kinda?” he replied uncertainly with a sheepish smile. He wasn’t nearly as prepared as he wanted to be, but he had saved up some of his easier classes for his senior year so that he could cut lose a bit. He had never thought he would be so grateful for that for an entirely different reason.
The blond laughed. “Yeah, I get that,” he said with an unrepentant grin. “I haven’t been as dedicated to studying lately as I should have been.”
Kili wanted to ask what had made the normally responsible Fili neglect his studies, but he didn’t want the question turned around on him. Especially since he had been using his schoolwork as an excuse for his absence all semester.
“What time is it?” he asked instead, not sure how long he had let himself sleep. It had been the first good night’s rest he had gotten in a while.
“Almost noon,” Fili answered with a shrug. “Guess we both had some sleep to catch up on.”
Kili winced at that. His shift at the bowling alley started at one. He quickly shoveled his food into his mouth. “I’ve got to go,” he explained at Fili’s curious look. “Got a school thing at one.”
He finished off his food quickly before standing. “Thanks for everything,” he told him earnestly.
Fili rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to thank me, Kee. It’s nothing.”
Kili didn’t tell him that it most certainly was nothing, not when he actually had nothing and knew exactly what it entailed. With that depressing thought, he grabbed his bag and all but ran from the apartment. His own place was on the way, so he ran up the rusty stairs to the third floor with plans to change clothes. He nearly cried when he stuck his key in the lock and it wouldn’t turn.
His landlord had finally changed the locks.
He was officially homeless.
Kili resolutely swallowed back his tears. He shouldn’t be upset. He knew this was coming. It had been coming for a while. It was fine. He’d be fine. It was only a few weeks. He could do this.
He marched down the stairs and towards the bowling alley. The next week would be easy. It was finals week, which meant the library was open 24 hours a day. Finding a student sleeping with his head pillowed on his textbooks was far from out of the ordinary. And there were showers in the rec center that he could use.
He would be fine.
“Kili?” his manager called out to him as soon as he walked into the bowling alley, an apologetic look on his face. His heart sank. He knew what that look meant.
It was probably for the best, he told himself as his manager explained that business over winter break would die down so that only the full time employees were being kept on. He was assured that he’d have a job waiting for him if he wanted to start back once school started up again.
This way, he wouldn’t have to worry about anyone figuring out he had nowhere to go. He was sure he was going to lose his job at the toy store after the Christmas rush died down. But with the paycheck his manager just handed him and the money he’d make in the next two weeks from the store, he’d have about three hundred dollars to his name.
He blanched as he realized that meant less than ten bucks for his food budget every day, but he’d make it work.
He would be fine.
#
Kili wasn’t sure if he believed he would be fine anymore. He had made it through finals week okay, managing to dodge everyone he knew by hiding in dark, seldom used corner of the stacks in the library, leaving only to go to his job at the toy store, which his boss had already told him would end on Christmas Eve next week.
He had been so busy with work and studying and trying to hide the fact that he was sleeping in the library, that he hadn’t even considered what would happen now that finals had ended.
The library closed at five the last day of finals, and Kili knew that it would close at five every weekday that school was out of session, and it wouldn’t even be open on the weekends.
Which meant he had absolutely nowhere to go.
He walked aimlessly around the mostly deserted campus. It was getting darker and colder by the minute, and he was sure the temperature would probably dip below freezing that night. Could he even survive sleeping outside when it was that cold?
“Kili!” a loud voice called out to him from across the quad. He looked up to see two dwarves from the DSA, Bofur and Nori, stumbling his way, clearly more than a little tipsy.
“Why aren’t you celebrating?” Bofur slurred out, grinning at the younger dwarf. “Finals are over! It is time to drink and be merry!”
He forced a smile. “I think you’re merry enough for the both of us,” he told him.
Nori snorted, obviously a bit more sober than his companion. “That is an understatement. Care to join us, lad?” he asked. “We’re headed to the DSA. Some of us are having an informal get-together of sorts.”
“Lots of food and booze!” Bofur declared. “You should definitely join us!”
“Is Fili going to be there?” he asked before he could stop himself. He nearly kicked himself at the question. Could he be more obvious?
Nori smirked at him. “He had a family dinner he had to go to. I’m surprised you aren’t with him, actually.”
Before Kili could ask why he would be at Fili’s family dinner, Bofur was grabbing his arm and leading him towards the DSA. “‘Sides, you’ve left Fili alone with us all semester. ’S about time you spent some time with us on your lonesome too.”
Despite his misgivings, he let Bofur and Nori lead him to the DSA, a bit surprised by the warm welcome he received when he got there. It was a party like only dwarves could throw. Rowdy but homey, with plenty of food and drink to go around. And since it was in full-swing when they arrived, he was able to slip away with a plate of food to a comfy armchair in a corner.
He quickly wolfed down the food before letting his exhaustion from the past week catch up with him. No one would blame him for falling asleep. They may tease him later for being a lightweight, assuming he had passed out from too much alcohol, but they would leave him be.
With that in mind, he curled up in the warmth of the DSA, surrounded by dwarves celebrating the end of finals, and fell fast asleep.
He was prodded awake early the next morning and greeted by the apologetic face of Bombur, but DSA faculty advisor. “Sorry, Kili, but I’ve got to lock up the building for the break.”
He blinked up blearily at him but nodded, covering a yawn as he stood. “Thanks for letting me sleep as long as you did, Bombur.”
The rotund dwarf snorted. “It’s not like you were the only one. At least you woke up nicer than the other drunken fools.”
Kili smiled and grabbed his bag, giving him a half-hearted wave as he left.
He had an all-day shift at the store he had to get to anyway.
It was dark when he got off, and the hopelessness of his situation suddenly hit him like a freight train.
It was freezing outside, he was exhausted, and he had absolutely nowhere to go. Mahal, there was a good chance he was going to die that night. And if not that night, then a night in the near future.
He considered the hundred bucks he had currently tucked into his backpack. It’d probably buy him a night or two in a crappy motel room, but then he’d have no money for food in the upcoming weeks. Were his choices really freeze to death or starve to death?
A dark thought entered his head, reminding him that there were other ways to make money fast if he were desperate.
He froze in horror. How could that even cross his mind? He couldn’t… do that. He shuddered in revolution at the very thought.
Kili worried his bottom lip as he continued walking. His first night actually on the street and that was the first idea that popped into his head. That probably wasn’t a good sign. What would he be willing to do after a week of being homeless with no place to go?
He was being stupid. He knew that. Was his fear of rejection by Fili really so insurmountable that he would rather live on the street than crash on his One’s couch? Fili probably wouldn’t even question him if Kili refused to talk about it.
Feeling a bit more hopeful, Kili walked to Fili’s apartment, wrapping his heavy coat around him in an attempt to stay warm. To his utter dismay, there didn’t appear to be any lights on in the apartment Fili shared with Legolas. His heart sank completely when, after a full two minutes of knocking, no one came to the door.
He sank down on Fili’s stoop with a sob, curling into a ball against the doorjamb and huddling into his coat.
Of course, Fili wasn’t home. Nori had told him that Fili was with his family last night. Even the other dwarf had stayed in town, he would be staying at his uncle’s house. Kili had no idea where Thorin Durin lived, and wouldn’t dare go to the house even if he did.
He had to get up. He had to move. With as cold as it was, if he fell asleep, he didn’t think he’d wake up. It would be a horrible sight for Fili to come home to, Kili dead in front of his door. He didn’t want his One to see that.
Maybe he was just being melodramatic. He shivered as he hunched further into his coat. Surely he’d be fine if he just closed his eyes for a little bit?
It really didn’t matter what he wanted. In the end, he couldn’t have kept his eyes open even if he wanted to.
tbc...