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Cold.
Without walking, everything was so cold.
The damp log, the forest floor littered with pine needles and leaves, even the tiny, smoldering fire felt cold.
Ray's clothes were consistently dampened by the day's sweat, now the night's mist, soon the morning dew, never feeling quite dry or warm enough. He'd yet to take off his shoes for fear of them falling apart at the slightest tug. So he sat there, shoulder against Pete McVries as the occasional chill caused him to shiver.
"Your teeth are chattering." Pete noted.
"What?" Ray was dazed, "oh, sorry."
"Nothing to be sorry for. You're cold. Your body's not walking anymore."
Pete shifted, shrugging his jacket from his shoulders to reveal perfectly toned arms, gold bouncing off of them in the firelight. Ray felt something in his stomach twist.
"Here," Pete set his jacket over Ray's shoulders, it was warm, smelled like him. "Think you need this more than me right now."
"Thanks, Pete."
Ray pulled Pete's jacket close, noticing only then that he'd yet to take off his speedometer. 0 MPH. He should've been dead.
"How much longer?" Ray asked.
"Another two hours," Pete answered, gazing over Ray, who'd been doing his best to look small, knees tucked up and back hunched, "you wanna talk about our hopes and dreams? Get your mind outta the cold?"
A smile graced Ray's lips.
"Right now my dream is to take a bath."
"Oh, don't say that, man!" Pete grinned and knocked his shoulder against Ray, "we can’t afford to be thinking about--"
"A nice, hot bath. In a big tub where you could put your feet up. And there'd be a record playing."
"Yeah? What record?"
"I dunno. Something Ella Fitzgerald. Someone who could sing me to sleep."
Pete was utterly endeared.
"You like Ella?"
"Yeah, my, uh, my Dad showed me her music. I never thought I'd get to hear it again, but now I'm thinking maybe I might."
"Well I'm no Ella Fitzgerald, but I'll happily serenade you to sleep any night of the week."
Ray giggled as warmth filled his cheeks. He turned to face Pete, scooting in closer so the length of their arms could touch.
"Would you do it now?"
Pete slipped an arm over Ray's shoulders. "As much as I'd like to, you need to stay awake, my boy. Watch duty. Ask me again in two hours."
"What's the point of keeping watch? We'll be dead if they find us either way." Ray yawned and leaned against Pete, not caring how it may have looked, not caring how he may have felt.
"Not if we move fast enough. We evaded them when they had tanks, it'll be smooth sailing now--hey, eyes open, Ray." Pete's hand found its way to Ray's hair, fingers brushing through the sweaty, greasy strands.
"Pete."
"What?"
"If I tell you something--do you promise not to tell another soul?"
"Depends. How serious is--"
"I want you to kiss me."
Pete was taken aback, he blinked, "what?"
Ray's voice came softer, closer than it had, drenched in longing. One of his hands moved to clutch the fabric of Pete's shirt.
"Please--we, we don't have to tell anyone. We can just forget it ever happened."
Exhaustion had washed a drunkenness over Ray, desperation caused his chest to tighten. His heart hammered against his ribcage as he shifted himself sideways on the log, straddling it to get closer to Pete.
"You feel it, don't you? Please, Pete. I'm cold."
"You're sure? But if you make it home--what about your girl?"
"I don't wanna think about that. I broke up with her, I'm as good as dead." Ray's breaths were ragged as his throat tightened, he'd hardly been in physical contact with Pete, yet his body trembled with pent up desire. His grip on Pete's shirt tightened.
"I wanna be with you."
Pete took a hold of Ray's face then, eliciting a sharp inhale as he did. He ran a thumb along Ray's bottom lip, chapped and cracked, but that didn't matter.
"You're a dear boy, Ray."
Any sounds from the forest stopped then, overshadowed by the thump thump thump of Ray's heart as Pete brought their lips together. This kiss was soft, it was agonizing. Pete moved his lips slow while Ray's hands grasped at any part of Pete they could, clinging to him as if the squads could drag him away right there.
They stayed like that for a couple moments before Pete pulled away for a breath, drawing a whine from Ray's throat as he did. Ray felt abysmal embarrassment at the sound, he almost wanted to speak up about it, attempt to excuse it, but Pete dove back in.
Ray followed along as Pete's mouth opened wider, one of his hands finding Ray's waist as the other still held his face. The hand on Ray's waist squeezed a little and Ray felt himself becoming woozy. Pete's tongue slipped between Ray's lips, hot and wet. Ray whimpered as he allowed Pete in, wishing that tongue could fill up the back of his throat. Fuck. Ray wasn't sure how long he'd been hard, but he throbbed and ached against the seam of his pants.
Pete persisted, deepening the kiss and intermittently biting down on Ray's lip before sliding his tongue back in, practically fucking his mouth with it. Ray's ears rang, his whole body was on fire and his head spun. It'd be mortifying to finish just from this, but that's where things were headed. Ray wondered if Pete was hard too, but wasn't brave or coordinated enough to reach a hand down to check. But Pete's hand reached down, not to Ray's crotch, but his thigh. It squeezed and inched its way up, teasing.
The teasing was more than enough for Ray. A shudder wracked his body and then another as he let out a rather high pitched throaty sound. He pulled away from the kiss, burying his face in Pete's shoulder as he rode out the rest of his untouched orgasm. Warmth spurted into his pants, his nails dug into Pete's shoulders, and he wanted to bury himself alive.
"Ray? Hey," Pete's voice was gentle, breathy.
"D-don't. I'm--fuck!" He shivered again, "don't look at me."
"I won't," Pete's hands worked back into Ray's hair, brushing through it in a soothing fashion. "It's okay."
Ray felt childish. Embarrassed beyond embarrassed and overwhelmed. His jaw clenched as tears stung his eyes while his face remained hidden in Pete's shoulder. A sob escaped him. It was all too much.
"Oh, Ray," Pete soothed, one of his hands held Ray's back, moving up and down. "You're good, you're okay."
"I feel disgusting."
Pete scooted back, lifting Ray's face in his hands, examining him the best he could in the low light. His thumbs wiped Ray's tears.
"I think you're beautiful."
Ray sniffed, pathetic and worn, "how? How could you think so? I'm--I'm fucking embarrassing."
"You're human." Pete leaned in and kissed Ray's forehead, then his cheeks, finally his lips again. "You're flesh and blood, pent up and tired just like the rest of us. And you're the most beautiful thing I've ever set my eyes on. In fact, I never wanna take 'em off you."
"You mean that?"
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't, would I?"
Ray shook his head and fell into Pete's arms.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what's up with me."
"You're all scrambled from the walk. It's alright. You know, I actually feel proud. Getting a pretty boy like you so worked up like that's doing wonders for my confidence!"
Ray chuckled hoarsely, "shut up."
Pete spoke through a wide smile, "you don't mean that, sweetheart."
"No, I guess I don't."