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How does one truly understand something they never knew?
How does a deaf person perceive sounds they have never heard, a blind person imagine colours they can’t conceive of? Could they learn how to do such… impossible things…? What does the world look like to them? To see the world through another's eyes…
Could someone who had never known true “love”... ?
The first time Hwei had been allowed outside of Koyehn was when he was very, very little. It was also the first time he had felt something significant… for another. He must have been not even ten years old at that point. There were strict rules in place for him to follow all his life, and never being allowed to venture off the island was just one of many. At least he was allowed to attend that year’s bazaar with the other children, where merchants from across the sea brought all sorts of goods and treasures from their native areas. Hwei was always dazzled by the variety of knick-knacks and pleasantries. He could recall specifically the berries of a settlement named “Raikkon”, which provided a very good quality ink used for tattooing… Not an artform he had knowledge of but it seemed interesting. The day was marked by a sparkling innocence, and Hwei could remember the sweetness before it was marred by bitterness.
It was the idea of one of the other children. They wanted to sneak aboard one of the merchant ships to see if they could explore, maybe even travel off the island. Hwei, eager to be a part of something, followed along with their plot. The memories were foggy and all he could really recall was gazing out at sea from the deck of the ship, where the waves behaved more calmly, reflecting the dappling sunlight with their ripples. The rays danced like bubbles in a glass of water, skipping from the edge of one wave to the next as they continued their routine, neverending.
There were five of them stowed away on the ship. The other children were laughing and excitedly speaking about what the outside world was like, and what wild things they would do when they would set foot on solid dirt. Hwei meanwhile, was fine with gazing out at the sea alongside another student. He preferred the quiet.
He was a soft-spoken one too, and Hwei remembered the kind look in his eyes whenever they would pass by in the halls of the Temple. Thus, Hwei had a lingering fondness for the familiar face that gazed out to sea with him. At that moment, Hwei felt comfortable enough in someone else’s presence and allowed himself to relax despite the worry of disobeying the rules.
Hwei remembered turning to look at him, and seeing how the sunlight shone through his normally black hair, illuminating it to reveal the amber brown tones hidden within. His locks seemed to flutter like the wings of a bird in the breeze, and Hwei could picture them flying in the sky together. Hwei began to speak with him, perhaps a bit more openly than he should have. They began to joke and converse lightly about the escapade they were a part of. How could he know? They were both children, after all.
“The ocean… It’s really pretty, isn’t it?”
The child laughed. “Yeah, I guess so. Normally we don’t get to see the deeper parts of it…” His tone was marked with a touch of uncertainty. Hwei wondered how he could comfort him.
“Are you scared?”
“I heard that there’s sea monsters that eat kids… At least that’s what my parents tell me.” Hwei felt a twinge of fear, and the other student laughed. “What, you believe that?”
“...Monsters seem scary. But… the colour of the dark water… with how deep it is…” Hwei struggled to describe it. There was a feeling inside of him he couldn’t explain, but it wasn’t just about the water. He found himself enjoying the company of a peer for once. He glanced back to the water, trying to think of the words. He didn’t have them yet. “It’s really pretty.”
“Yeah, it really is.”
It was silent for a while. Hwei didn’t want to lose the momentum of the conversation, as he rarely had friends at all. All the time spent training under the masters on his own had really isolated him from the other students. In a moment of desperation, Hwei then said something he shouldn’t have. “They’re like your eyes.”
“Huh?” Confusion. Hwei realised deep in his gut he had done something wrong, but it was too late to correct his faux pas.
Hwei leaned closer to the other child. “Dark… but really pretty. The sunlight makes them look really deep, like the ocean.” He tried to explain, but the child’s expression twisted from confusion to that of disgust. Distress. He pulled away from him, as if Hwei was tainted with something ill.
“Ew. What are you, a -”
The scene in his mind became a blinding white, filled with an emotion he couldn’t explain at the time. Now he knew; it was of embarrassment. Sadness. Fear. Hwei’s mind refused to recall what happened after, and only continued the memory from when the ferry’s skipper had caught all of them and promptly dragged them back to the golden shores of Koyehn by force. He never remembered seeing the other child again, as if he was spirited away after that incident. His existence had become a blur, like a smudge of charcoal on paper. His masters reprimanded Hwei heavily, yet his child mind was fixated with that look his fellow student had given him on the boat. It haunted him. It had been… cruel.
It served to further his ‘othering’, separating himself from others. He didn’t see the world like the others did, after all. For years, Hwei had the company of only himself and his masters, and thus could never be honest to another about his true self. He had no friends, merely acquaintances. Even if he wanted to make friends, what would he say? What would he do? They all saw him as different, either as the heir to the lineage or a freak. Yet, he had no way to prove them wrong. At least he was able to pour himself into his work more fully this way. Others were merely distractions.
Even if he couldn’t understand them, the repression of his emotions was starting to take its toll on him. Paint magic relied fundamentally on the painter to have strict control and precision to the last detail. One slip up and there could be devastating consequences. Even with all of the stringent lessons, he was fascinated with the way he felt when he painted. It was as if his creation was able to entrance even himself, drawing out the repressed emotions he had desperately tried to hide. The loneliness, the desperation, the curiosity and the desire…
His fumbling of the demonstration had netted him a considerable amount of consequences.
The masters were reluctant to exile him, but Hwei understood that any more mistakes, and whatever little freedom he had would be even further stripped back. The weight of the legacy, the responsibilities… The Temple of Koyehn itself was to be his own one day. It truly didn’t matter what he wanted. Thus, he kept working, painting sights that only he could see in his mind’s eye. At night, he would experiment, wanting to feel the way he did when he lost himself in his own creation…
The hues would swirl around him, consuming his being. The skies were stained with gold, streaks of blue and purple and dotted with striking white pearls. The sea, with all of its mystery and wonder, was both frightening and alluring, with the streaks of navy wrapping around him. It made his body feel like it was part of the ocean itself, weightless and warm, only cold when he moved. There was pressure alongside his legs and spine, and the dark foaming whorls of water wrapped around his throat, threatening to cut off his air supply completely. He could barely see the sun, a smudge of brilliant orange muted over the layers and layers of blue. He was sinking deeper and deeper into the mystery, and with a sharp gesture of his brush Hwei painted the water crashing onto himself.
For several seconds, Hwei couldn’t breathe. When the moment of exhilaration had passed, he could remember his physicality once more. Hwei was left exhausted and completely spent. His mind foggy with bliss from the beauty he was able to paint. There was paint… everywhere. He was soaked, and found himself shaking and shivering, laying on the cold floor. Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to be painting in the nude, but at least he was able to wash himself quickly before redressing himself and tucking himself to bed to get some sleep. To push himself so far into such explorations was directly forbidden, he knew. Yet, Hwei’s curiosity was insatiable… no one could understand.
This system of daytime obedience and nighttime exploration continued for many moons. Despite the consistent threat of looming responsibility, it never felt truly real to Hwei. His masters were such a permanent fixture it felt like they would always be there, in some shape or form in his life, instructing and controlling him. The thought of him someday taking their place felt almost ludicrous and out of reach.
Life has its surprises.
“I’m… sorry?” Hwei stammered, unsure if he had heard the words correctly. Unfortunately, he had.
“There is a responsibility to being the heir of a long and illustrious line. To ensure that the sanctity and culture of Koyehn continues, you are to take on a bride.”
“...A… bride.” The words felt like a bitter knob of ginger in his mouth. “Who…?”
The masters introduced her to him. He had been completely underprepared, whereas she was dressed impeccably. She shone like the pearly white petals of lilies, picturesque as the flowers that bloomed in spring. Her outfit was intricate and adorned with embellishments and tassels with shimmering thread. Her hair too, not even a single strand was out of place. For a moment, as Hwei gazed into her eyes, he felt hesitant and perhaps it reflected in his eyes. She smiled at him, and bowed.
A feeling stirred, although he couldn’t describe it. It felt twisted in his chest.
She was the daughter of a rich merchant, one that had been a long-time supplier for the Temple for canvases and pigments. Her name was Yun, and she had a permanent placating smile. They were set on dates, and she behaved in the most pristine manner, as if she had stepped right out from a play where she had the lead role. Hwei found himself having difficulty in fully reciprocating when she would start a conversation or engage in discussions. He had spent too much time in his life cooped up by himself that he was completely and utterly useless at the game of socializing.
Not that she seemed to mind, and Hwei felt indebted to her. Yun showed no judgement, no ill will towards him. It almost felt like she should have… As Hwei sported his own hesitations of their upcoming life together. He simply felt disinterested in the increasing number of leashes being tied onto him, locking him to a place that should have been his home… but it was feeling more and more like a prison. He didn’t want to bear any ill on her, as she… she was merely playing her role. As he was.
They were on one of their dates. It went exactly as scheduled, with everything going perfectly to plan. They were walking by the bazaar where Yun excitedly explored the wares, something Hwei used to love to do but now found less enjoyment in. Every time he did, he found himself filled with an unknowable longing. Once his mind would burst with imagination of faraway lands, but now, such visions served to only taunt him.
After Yun finished a pleasant exchange with a Vastayan seamstress, they continued to a quiet spot to gaze out at the shore at night. Hwei felt mentally exhausted as he kept up the charade, and found himself despairing again. Yun delicately placed her slender fingers on his cheek, and offered him a smile. A knowing, sympathetic one. Her next words were spoken softly, in a tone that felt almost… helpless.
“I know… We just need to keep going.”
Hwei felt his throat close. “Do we have no choice?”
She smiled again, and pulled away. “It’s all I have ever known. What else is there?”
“... I don’t know. The ocean? There must be a world out there…”
Yun covered her mouth as she laughed politely. “Ah… That isn’t an option for me.”
The hollow feeling persisted. Hwei was fighting to keep it down but it was difficult. It wasn’t that he couldn’t see himself standing besides Yun for years to come, leading the Temple of Koeyhn… He just… Whenever he tried to imagine it there was a horrible feeling in his gut and he felt the nausea in his mind.
There were so many expectations. If not Yun, then perhaps another girl would be offered in her place. He hated to put that sort of responsibility onto any more people, and knew it would be no use trying to escape. She was right, in a way.
Hwei found himself in a room, the lights dimmed and screen doors closed. He was sitting on the bedding, and looking at Yun in the glow of candlelight. His nerves were completely shot, and his fingers were clammy and gripping his thighs. Despite being fully clothed, Hwei felt utterly vulnerable. Even Yun’s regular placating smiles and gestures couldn’t calm him. She held him close, and it was obvious to the both of them how frantic both of their hearts felt. At that moment, Hwei realised that he understood Yun more than he had previously thought.
“I… I can’t.” Hwei finally managed to whisper. He was frightened by everything at the moment, but most of all he didn’t want to hurt her. “It’s not you, I… I just…”
She looked sad, and held Hwei’s face in her hands. “I know. I always… knew. Both of us, we are both living our lies, aren’t we?”
“I…” The lump in Hwei’s throat seemed to soften and he took a deep breath. “It seems like it.”
Yun pulled Hwei close in another hug, and Hwei found himself enjoying the embrace, not as lovers as the masters presumably expected, but something else. Comrades, perhaps. “I’ve enjoyed talking to you. I’ve learned a lot about you, but also… a lot about myself.”
“...I can say the same.” Hwei felt Yun pull away, and looked into her eyes. Normally they were so bright, but he could finally see the somber look hidden within… like the ocean.
“I’m sorry…” Hwei tried again, but Yun shook her head.
“I knew you looked at me only as a companion. I… feel similarly.”
“Ah.” Hwei was frozen, and they both sat in awkward silence. At least Hwei didn’t have to continue the act in front of just her, at least…
Finally, she spoke again. “I’ve heard of your works, Hwei. They never let me see your capabilities…” Yun seemed to hesitate for the first time since Hwei had known her. “Could you… show me…?”
This, he could do. Hwei pulled his brush closer to him and stood a ways back from Yun, who sat up, kneeling in front of him. What would he show her? He didn’t want to lose control, especially not in front of her, but… they seemed to share an understanding that Hwei treasured. She trusted him, and he wanted to trust her too.
The paint began to take shape, the strokes taking on amber and golden hues. First, it resembled the golden sand that both of them were so very used to. Then, it took on a different shape, twisting and spreading like the branches of a tree. Pink and magenta blossomed from the branches, spreading all around the room. The splotches of gold spread and curled around the branches, bleeding out to a glorious sunrise. It washed over them, enveloping them in a warmth akin to silk, light and pristine. The soft shimmers danced in front of Yun's eyes, and she stared on, completely entranced by the display.
The vision was threatening to overpower Hwei’s control, and he tried his best to contain it. He knew what he had done to the masters before, and how he had nearly drowned them all. Yet, a streak of pink escaped his grasp and entwined itself around Yun's arm. It wrapped around like a sleeve of ribbon, and she reached out with her other arm to touch the display. The paint threatened to lunge and in a moment of terror, Hwei stopped himself. The paint dissipated, and Hwei slumped to the ground, holding himself and breathing heavily.
They both sat in silence, the candle’s light long gone. The darkness felt heavy, and Hwei was horrified at what he had allowed to happen. The masters were correct, his power was dangerous if not controlled, he needed to-
“That… That was beautiful, Hwei…”
Hwei turned to look at Yun’s face in the darkness. Her eyes carried a strange light to them, as if she was still transfixed on the paint that used to linger in the air. “So… That is what freedom could look like…” Her words were slurred, as if she was intoxicated. Had his paint done this to her?
“...Sorry…?” Hwei was confused and worried.
Yun slowly stood up, as if her body was possessed. “I… You have inspired me, Hwei. I think there is hope left for me after all…” She walked over to the screen door, and slipped out. The door shut, leaving Hwei alone in the darkness.
Instinctively, he knew that he should follow her. Make sure that she was okay, and not irreversibly mentally damaged from the weight of what Hwei had chosen to show her. Yet, Hwei could not bring himself to leave the room. He was frightened, and allowed his cowardice to cement his inaction. The consequences of his actions… surely they would show soon.
True to his fears, Hwei woke to find his chamber empty still, and confused murmurings outside. He stepped on out, and was immediately questioned if he knew where Yun had gone, as she was nowhere to be seen. He lied, insisting he had no idea… And luckily they didn’t push him any further.
“Shame… that girl was the most promising of the lot…”
“We still have time, at least. And some back-up options…”
Hwei was allowed to wander, and he did. Today the merchants of the bazaar were packing up to leave. He gazed out to see many ships already sailing away from Koyehn. He looked closer, wondering if he could possibly see a familiar face amongst the silhouettes, and he wasn’t sure. The sunrise was very blinding.
One of the last merchants packing up was the Vastayan that Yun had spoken to before. She greeted him in a friendly way, and offered him a small silken handkerchief. Hwei was not used to gifts, but accepted. As she turned, her tail seemed to swish with excitement. His eyes followed her path to her small vessel, where Hwei could see a hooded individual whose silhouette was rather familiar… She shone like a crane, finally able to spread its wings in the sunlight after a stormy night.
Even the silk seemed to carry her scent. Hwei watched as the boats sailed away, drifting on the ocean's surface as if they were clouds carried by the wind…
Loneliness came back to claim him once more.
Soon, it was as if Yun had never existed. It was as if she had vanished without a trace, her existence nothing but a few hushed whispers and rumors that flitted around the Temple grounds. Hwei knew that some of them were dangerously close to the truth, and tried to avoid them as much as possible. He didn’t want to confront that responsibility.
In a way, he envied her, how she could simply… leave.
Hwei settled back to his old life, the excitement of another gone again. How pathetic it was, he couldn’t seem to maintain a connection with another for long before something shattered it. Perhaps he was never meant to bond with others, and was doomed to exist in his solitude. Every time he tried to step out, he was quickly reminded why he should never try in the first place…
Several months passed, and Hwei found himself slipping out of the temple at night. He had been doing this more and more often, and instead of experimenting with his paint as usual, he would often stare off into the sea in silence, lost in his turbulent thoughts. He was soon to finalize his training, and seal his destiny that had been designated to him from birth. Once it was done, Hwei would never be able to escape.
Earlier that day, his masters had mentioned something about receiving a special guest. This had happened before, and Hwei knew that he had to be on his best behavior for the visitors. It was always stressful, and often he felt like he could never connect fully with any of the newcomers. There was always a distance between them, even as Hwei tried his best to emulate the ideal socializing behaviours, some he had learned from his time with Yun.
The stress of the newcomers was weighing heavily on him, and he decided to take his usual nighttime walk. Hwei didn’t have an exact goal in mind, and his excuse was “going out for a walk for some night air”. He found his footsteps ascending, and he climbed higher and higher up the rocky outcrops until he was able to gaze out to the sea with a clear view. The wind blew his hair all around, and the ocean watched him with its usual mystique. It seemed to be waiting, the waves resembling teeth and gnashing itself against the cliffside. The spiraling purple hue seemed to be tempting him to take another step.
Escape seemed impossible for him… unless.
The ocean goaded him on. Hwei was tempted to listen, but stepped backwards to safety. He had always been a coward. With a groan of disapproval, the waves settled back to their usual dark blue.
“Quite the view, isn’t it?”
Hwei nearly jumped out of his skin. Had he been any closer to the edge, he would have surely fallen. Then, maybe he would have felt the bliss of nothingness and freedom. Instead, he turned to see who had spoken, and saw a tall man standing by. Hwei didn’t recognize him, and wondered if he was a merchant who had gotten lost, or perhaps a visitor.
“My apologies for startling you.” His voice was polite, yet intriguing. Hwei felt oddly comfortable approaching him.
“It’s fine… Who are you? I don’t seem to recognise you…”
“Just a visiting artist. I’ve come from the mainland to see the works of your Temple.” His eyes didn’t break contact. They were mesmerizing, like the waves Hwei had nearly fallen into. “Ah, I assume you’re an artist… as well?”
“Yes, I… I’m Lukai Hwei. I’m the supposed heir to the temple…” So this was the visitor he was told about. He did always hate having to divulge that bit, but the other artist smiled at him.
“I’m honored to meet you, then. I am Jhin… I was about to make my way to the Temple when I got distracted with the sights. Could you perhaps… guide me there?”
“Of course…” Hwei walked down from the stony path and retraced his steps back. There was something about this stranger that Hwei couldn’t quite pinpoint. It was foolish for him to get his hopes up, but he did wonder… Maybe if nothing else, this person wouldn’t dismiss him like the others. That would make this a bit more painless.
The masters enthusiastically received the guest, and assigned Hwei to show him around Koyehn as usual. Jhin was a charismatic and talented individual, sharing with Hwei stories of his own work and performances. He spoke openly and allowed Hwei to reply freely, and for once in his life, conversation didn’t feel… like a burden.
It was the most picturesque time to visit Koyehn. Hwei could show Jhin the lovely sights all across the island, the scenery, the flora and fauna, and the celebrations and traditions they had during this time of the year. The summers in Koyehn were always marked by the golden hue of the skies, the lights, and the sand sparkling in the light, but Hwei found that Jhin radiated gold as well. And with it, came a warmth…
It was a warmth that he had only mere glimpses of before. A warmth that he imagined on a boat when he was young, and a warmth that he desperately wanted to desire from his fiancé-to-be. A warmth that should have been given to him freely from the ones that raised him, but was always withheld from him. A feeling that seemed so alien, but one that Jhin was so readily able to give him. He held no judgement, and simply embraced Hwei as he was… flaws and all.
It was a delight to be able to share such a connection. Despite their occasional disagreements on certain topics, there was a solid respect between himself and Jhin. He spoke rather highly of himself, but was also able to consider Hwei an equal. Hwei had spoken to egotistical ones before, and usually didn’t care if he was considered lesser. Yet, Hwei did care about Jhin’s opinions… and his perspective.
“What exists beyond the ocean?” Hwei asked him, one night. They had been spending a considerable length of time together, and Hwei was deeply saddened to realise the days until Jhin was to leave were dwindling. He hated to admit it, but it was eating him up on the inside.
“Ah… lots of places. Ionia is filled with many different people, places, and things… Where I am from, we have a place that is similar to Koyehn, on the coast. Although… The seafood tastes much better here, I have to admit. Although, I do miss my favourite dumplings.”
“Dumplings? Do ours not meet your standards?”
“No, it’s not that…” Jhin seemed to consider his words carefully. “There is something nice about home… And food that comes from it.”
Hwei hadn’t known anything outside his life on this island. The concept was out of his reach. “I’d like to try your hometown dumplings someday.”
Jhin laughed. It was a lovely sound, echoing waves of aureate around them. Jhin then reached for Hwei’s hand and interlaced his fingers. “Perhaps that won’t be too far in the future.”
His tone was teasing, and almost like a promise. Unfortunately, Hwei felt his heart sink. “Unfortunately, my place is here. I can’t foresee myself being able to leave…”
“Like a prison, isn’t it?” Over the span of their time together, Jhin had learned of glimpses into Hwei’s troubled thoughts. He feared revealing too much, and completely shattering the façade. Hwei forced himself to smile, like a protective mask.
“It’s not that bad… I have a rather important responsibility and legacy to uphold. It’s simply my birthright.”
Jhin looked at him, his eyes peering at him with a peculiar look in them. They were like the waves, mysterious but commanding of his attention. Hwei felt nervous, as Jhin had still not let go of his hand. It was like Jhin was thinking very, very deeply… Then, he leaned in close.
Despite everything that the masters had tried, Hwei had never been able to even manage to kiss Yun. Jhin was pressing his lips against his own, and his heart seemed to sputter wildly as he tried to understand what he was feeling. Bliss… warmth… and something else. He was being held close, an embrace that wasn’t tainted with dread…
This sort of intimacy was a completely new world for Hwei. Jhin took the lead, and was showing him all sorts of things he never knew. This sort of emotion, it was akin to the euphoria he had felt when gazing into the depths of his own painting masterpieces…
“I want you to be my canvas, Hwei,” Jhin whispered. He loomed over Hwei, his shadow enveloping Hwei’s form completely. Like an eclipse, Hwei couldn’t see the light that lay behind Jhin’s head, and could only focus on his features… He found himself unable to speak a response, and only nodded. He couldn’t help but give in to his curiosity.
Emotion and sensation were their pigments, and Jhin worked delicately on Hwei’s clothless form. He gently caressed his bare chest, gripping his hips, sliding lower and lower until he found Hwei’s erection. He seemed amused, and was gently stroking Hwei in a way that was driving him wild. He had never been touched like this, especially by someone other than himself.
“Jh-Jhin… It feels good…” Hwei managed to stammer out, his eyes swirling in multiple hues. He was overwhelmed by the touch, the stimulation, the intimacy…
“You’re getting worked up just from my touch… It’s very flattering that you enjoy me so.” He smiled and caressed Hwei’s face. “You’re so innocent… so naive…”
Jhin descended down to kiss Hwei again, this time with tongue. The passion that took hold of him was indescribable, and he instinctively knew how to respond. He met Jhin’s tongue with his own, his hips still thrusting into Jhin’s delicate hand. He shuddered, and felt the turbulent feelings and thoughts finally come to a head and burst forth from him in the form of an orgasm.
Through a foggy mind he could hear Jhin’s soft chuckling of amusement. Was it good? Was it bad? Hwei didn’t have a clue, but all he knew was that Jhin had touched him in a way that he couldn’t have imagined. He spent his afterglow thinking of not his usual gloomy thoughts, but rather possibilities of what could now possibly… be.
Hwei spent the rest of that night in Jhin’s embrace, wondering. Considering. Contemplating. Jhin wouldn’t be leaving yet, so he still had time…
He was delirious, but thus was the power of suggestion… and that feeling that burned in his heart.
The next days drifted along like a dream. One into the next, Hwei saw the world bathed in gold and shimmering with a light of hope. Jhin continued to show him deeper acts of connection, merging their beings into one. Even when they parted, Hwei could feel Jhin’s lingering presence in his skin. Even outside of their private time, their discussions and sightseeing around the island continued like an impossible trek on top of clouds, lofty and dreamlike. A big question of ‘what if’ consistently ebbed in Hwei’s mind. He knew deep down he was still a coward and could never really escape in the way he had fantasized ever since he was young, but Jhin had embedded in him an idea that was so strong, it threatened to consume his entirety. Hwei needed to focus on his future, the one that was planned out for him from the beginning…
Hwei was very aware that his time with Jhin was slipping away. Soon, he would have to come to the conclusion that his wild daydreams had no place in his reality. He wasn’t a child anymore, free from responsibilities and consequences. He was an adult, with responsibilities and a legacy to uphold.
Yet… despite that thought, Hwei wondered if he had ever grown up at all. As Jhin would have said, “Ah, you really are naive.”
Eventually, Hwei would have to simply accept there was no possible way he was going to escape his destiny.
How fickle life was.
The last days had been a blur.
Emerging from the pile of rubble and corpses, Hwei had lost control once more. The destruction of the Temple of Koyehn… it was his fault, somehow. He knew it in his gut. He had deeply wished for an escape, and thus the world granted it to him, in a devastating show of power.
Four paintings, shredded and torn. The reminder of a legacy, completely eviscerated. The four masters, the ones Hwei had almost drowned, motionless in puddles of their own blood. As they had descended the tower, the lower four floors had been lit ablaze. The crimson hues threatened to take his life, the smoke rising upwards and filling the rooms and his lungs. Hwei was paralyzed with fear and fascination, despite the pleas of the other students. Despite it all, he was somehow the only survivor.
During the day, he expressed his grief with the others, and many tried to comfort him with vacant words. At night, Hwei found himself painting, reliving the images of the tragedy seared into his mind. It felt sinful, as if he was indulging in a morbid fascination. He fought himself on this, trying to figure out what his emotions and paint were trying to express.
There was another motive to these nighttime painting sessions. While the rest of Koyehn performed burials and mourned the dead, Hwei had found his thoughts fixated on one person in particular: Jhin. Had he been caught in the disaster somehow? He feared what he would find eventually, if he continued to dig around the ruins… They hadn’t found his body as of yet, so there was always-
His foot stepped on something distinctly mechanical. Hwei pulled his foot away and crouched to take a closer look, and realised it was a strange contraption, albeit very damaged… shaped like a lotus flower.
The implication of this…
Emotions flooded his mind, feeling more awake than he had in days. Jhin? His Jhin? It couldn’t be… Could it?
“Like a prison, isn’t it?”
Hwei was certain. The ruins seemed to twist and rise, a dark stage flooded with gold and inky black. He felt his heart thumping wildly, as Jhin’s laughter echoed all around him, twisted and all-consuming. The darkness seemed to embrace him, holding him close before tightening around him… then loosening again. He was transfixed between horror and awe, and felt his knees buckle as he fell on the ground. The darkness washed over him, threatening to drown him but also yearning to become one with his body. Eventually his vision cleared, and his surroundings returned to their ashy and grim state.
Even if he wished to escape Koyehn… Not in his wildest dreams had he considered that this was the way in which he would be granted such an opportunity.
There was a small voice inside of him that spoke. No, he had to stay here, help the others…
But, Jhin had burned away the chains. In fact, his mere presence had silenced the small voice altogether. Hwei slowly rose, and felt a grim humor at the situation laid in front of him.
Hwei did not care what the others thought of his decision. He packed sparsely, only the essentials… and the silken handkerchief. As he walked aboard the boat, he felt almost as if he was following the steps of a phantom, and felt the déjà vu. The captain of the boat looked at him a bit oddly at first, but then nodded silently. Soon enough, it was time to set sail.
The ocean was vast and sparkling with such a wide array of hues. The clouds floated above, adorning the pale blue of the sky. The sun shone down on him, bestowing onto him an undeserved warmth. It was beautiful… but Hwei knew what it could also be.
When I see him again, what will I ask him?
He still couldn’t clearly define the feeling in his heart. Especially after what had happened… the feeling had gotten more complicated. The connection they had shared, it couldn’t be so easily severed. In fact, Hwei could imagine a thin golden strand connecting him to somewhere… across the ocean. Where it would lead, he had no idea.
He couldn’t even bring himself to hate it, as how could he hate something… so beautiful.
Maybe Hwei was never really meant to understand what ‘love’ was.
But maybe… he would finally get to taste Zhyun’s dumplings.