Work Text:
Tuesday 3:12 am
unknown number: undyne
unknown number: undyne
unknown number: undyne
Tuesday 3:20 am
unknown number: undyne
ME: WOH IS THiS ITS 3 AM
unknown number: you said it was gonna be the most exhausting workout ever
ME: What does that MEAN?? HOW DID YOU GET THIS NUMBER????
unknown number: he is still awake
unknown number: you said he’d be so tired he would sleep for a week
unknown number: those were your words
ME: SANS??
unknown number: ye
ME: Ok first of all ITS THREE IN THE FUVJING MORNING WTF
ME: Second how did you get my number???
ME: third WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN PAPYRUS IS STILL AWAKE THERE IS NO WAY
Tuesday 3:30 am
ME: WHERE DID YOU GO
Tuesday 3:40 am
ME: YOU WOKE ME UP DON’T YOU DARE SAY YOU WENT BACK TO SLEEP
RUDE SKELETON: pap asked me for help with his spaghetti im back
ME: Why is he COOKING at 3 AM?? Why are you texting ME?? How is he not EXAUSTED I WORKED HIM TO THE BONE
RUDE SELETON: heh
ME: DON’T
RUDE SKELETON: hes cooking because he can im texting you because you said hed be tired and i havent been able to sleep hes just cooking and talking about how proud you would be
RUDE SKELETON: weve lost 12 pots
RUDE SKELETON: 12 funerals
ME: There is no way he’s not AT LEAST a TINY BIT TIRED
RUDE SKELETON: hes not. hes dancing to mettaton songs
RUDE SKELETON: and singing along
RUDE SKELETON: loudly
RUDE SKELETON: i think he just slaughtered the 13th pot
ME: I DON’T BELIEVE YOU HE DID ONE THOUSAND PUSHUPS
ME: IM COMING OVER THERE AND SEEING THIS
RUDE SKELETON: k
Tuesday 3:47 am
ME: wtf how is he not tired
RUDE SKELETON: thats what I was asking you
RUDE SKELETON: i*
RUDE SKELETON: hes havin a halibut time
RUDE SKELETON: 14 pots
Tuesday 3:55 am
RUDE SKELETON: did he ask you to help too
RUDE SKELETON: he did i can hear more pots dying
RUDE SKELETON: pls spare my ketchup it does not deserve this
Tuesday 4:00 am
ME: I didn’t touch your stupid ketchup
ME: Does he ever sleep??
ME: Why did you correct I to i?????
ME: He wants me to get you up I’m coming to your room
RUDE SKELETON: pls dont
ME: The door is locked, open it!
RUDE SKELETON: k
ME: KEEP IT OPEN ASSFACE
ME: I WANT A BREAK ITS SO FUCKING EARLY PLEASE
RUDE SKELETON: k
Tuesday 4:07 am
RUDE SKELETON: wow rude a kind monster opens his door to you for a much needed break and you insult him
RUDE SKELETON: he thinks im asleep if he thinks im asleep i dont have to get up
RUDE SKELETON: he has super hearing
RUDE SKELETON: he once heard me drop a sock on the floor
RUDE SKELETON: your voice is v loud its too early to speak pls text
ME: Fine but this is STUPID and your room DISGUSTING!!!
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: rude
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: yes he does sleep
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: about once a moth sometimes once every two months
ME:………what the HECK??
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: i know hes so cool right? but i want to sleep and i was hoping your intense workouts would make him also sleep. it did not
ME: Why doesn’t he sleep?????
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: i think its kinda like how i can teleport
ME: ??????????
ME: YOU CAN TELEPORT?????????????????????
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: shit how do you undo texts
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: forget that
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: were not talking about me
ME: Fine. I will leave the conversation about the fact that you can freaking TELEPORT for a later date. Right now I need to know why my AMAZING AWSOME CRUSHING WORKOUT did NOTHING TO HIM
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: i dunno
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: if you want to avoid murdering innocent pots and pans do not answer him pretend you are asleep
ME: I’m not lying on your GROSS ASS FLOOR
ME: ALSO you have TOO MANY POTS HOLY SHIT
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: do you want to stay awake until the sun comes up undyne
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: we have a lot of pots because he is v enthusiastic abt his cooking and murders them
ME: Fine!!! I still feel bad about lying to him though!!!!!!!
ME: I can smell your sweaty socks
ME: You are a skeleton how do you sweat??
Tuesday 4:15 am
ME: Ok he’s gone what now?????
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: I dunno
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: i*
ME: You are no help. I can’t just LEAVE he’ll get SAD
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: sleep?
ME: I AM NOT SLEEPING ON THIS FLOOR
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: he gave you a blanket put it under you
ME: I can’t do that because then I’d be cold because you have a fucking TORNADO in your room???
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: hey it took a lot of work to get that up here im a big fan of it
ME: I hate you
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: burrito
ME: ……what
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: blanket burrito
Tuesday 4:20 am
ME: …… this is actually super comfy
ME: WEED NUMBER
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: heh weed number
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: mourning weed number
ME: Why is it mourning? Who died??
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: 20 pots
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: and my sleep schedule
ME: FUCK
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: you laughed
ME: I did NOT!!
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: there’s a laughing fish taco on my floor
ME: FUCK YOU
ME: IM A FISH BURRITO
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: k
Tuesday 4:40 am
ME: How
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: ?
ME: He’s still awake how
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: I dunno
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: i*
ME: Why do you keep doing that????
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: im texting the same way i talk
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: but autocorrect hates me
ME: ??????????????????????
ME: You can’t SPEAK in all lowercase? It’s SPEAKING
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: u cant hear it? huh
ME: WTF do you mean I cant hear it??? Lowercase speaking????
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: can you at least hear the font?
ME: WHAt DO YOU MEAN HEAR THE FONT?!?!???????
RUDE GROSS SKELETON: weird
ME: ????????????
Tuesday 5:04 am
ME: holy shit do you snore
Tuesday 9:17 am
<3 Alph <3: Undyne where r u?
<3 Alph <3: Ur not in bed are you out running?
Tuesday 9:25 am
<3 Alph <3: Ur not in the house and your running clothes are still here
<3 Alph <3: Pls answer me Undyne im worried :(
ME: FEAR NOT ALPHYS, UNDYNE CAME OVER TO MY, THE GREAT PAPYRUS’ HOUSE LAST NIGHT TO MAKE SURE I WAS KEEPING UP ON MY TRAINING! SHE FELL ASLEEP ON SANS’ FLOOR WHEN I ASKED HER TO GO WAKE HIM UP TO HELP!! SHE IS WRAPPED IN THE BLANKET I GAVE HER LIKE A BURRITO. I THINK SANS’ LAZYNESS IS SPREADING, IT IS VERY WORRYSOME
<3 Alph <3: I’m glad she’s ok!! Thank you for telling me Papyrus
ME: BUT OF COURSE ALPHYS! WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME OVER AND PICK HER UP?
<3 Alph <3: No I think we should let her sleep. But could u maybe send me uh a picture..? Of her sleeping?
Tuesday 9:28 am
<3 Alph <3: Omg im so sorry that sounded creepy didn’t it im so so sorry
ME: [image attached]
ME: DO NOT WORRY YOU DON’T SOUND CREEPY IN THE SLIGHTEST
<3 Alph <3: OMGGGG SHES ADORABLEEE AAAAAA
<3 Alph <3: Why are there so many socks tho???
ME: SANS HAS A SOCK COLLECTION. ALL OVER THE HOUSE.
ME: IT, MUCH LIKE HIS LAZYNESS, SEEMS TO BE SPREADING.