Chapter Text
Max was pretty sure the washed up truck driver he fetched a ride from was a serial killer, or a pedophile.
Maybe both, he looked up to the side as he contemplated. Either way, it wasn't good. Max watched the giant head of an unrecognizable superhero figurine bobble up and down from where it was hanging from the rearview mirror.
"That's Space-man you're glaring at, I've had 'im with me for about 10 years now."
Max thought of a certain space obsessed moron who would've loved Space-man, then he shoved that thought deep into a dark crevice in his mind because it was useless and stupid. He had more pressing things to think about right now, like how to not get molested in a greasy cargo truck by an equally greasy middle-aged dude.
He directed his 'glare' to the man beside him, now paired with the start of a mean smirk on his face. He would school his expression into something more reminiscent of an innocent eleven year old if it weren't for the hawk-eyed look the man was giving the road. But before he could start spitting out venom in the form of a back-handed compliment, the man said,
"You wanna know what he does? He snatches bad kids and whips 'em up in space. And when he's done with them, they're all good." Serial Killer spared a brief glance towards Space-man, or maybe it was the rearview mirror, "You a bad kid, Eric?"
One hour into the ride, and Max has stopped being weirded out/baffled at the bad slasher movie lines. Serial Killer liked springing them up at random. Suddenly he'd say something along the lines of, "Y'wanna know what the cargo in the back is? I'll tell ya if you stick around." Or "I got loads of those sour patches candy at home, you wanna stop by and take some?"
Max knew very well that beggers can't be choosers, but he couldn't help but wish the creep trying to assault him was a little less cartoonishly evil. He felt like he was in a fucking child predator PSA.
Anyway, Eric was the fake name Max gave him, not that Serial Killer had asked, Max just did it for the for the sake of it. He also wanted to excercise some level of control over the guy, however superficial it was. He steeled himself and spoke in the most guileless tone he could muster,
"I don't know, mister, are you Space-man by any chance?" Answer their question with a question, the oldest trick in the book.
The highway road stretched out for miles, but Max could see the outline of the city and its twinkling lights start to take form. They would be out of Nowhere and into civilisation soon.
The man chortled, a wet and frankly disgusting sound, and said with a glimmer in his grey eyes not unlike the city lights, "Ha! I wish, he's my favourite superhero. He's not the most famous, but he's down to earth, sincere, y'know?"
Max did not know, as he was certain Space-man did not exist outside of this sun damaged figurine and the deranged old sack's bald head. He nodded slowly like it made perfect sense, "Well, my favourite is Batman, 'cus he's filthy rich."
They were getting way closer to the city that its previously speckled lights turned into blinding street lamps on either side of the road, Max could hear the rumble of other cars starting to appear around them. The man turned off the headlights as it got brighter.
"Always good to have some money, I wouldn't spend it fighting crime though. I'm not the selfless type."
Max begrudgingly agreed.
They stopped at a red light. Residential buildings, but not enough cars.
"Yeah? what would you use it for, then?"
"Gee I don't know kid, Space-man merch, maybe." He picked his ear as he finally took his eyes off the road and placed them onto Max. He looked amused.
Max smiled up at him, hugging his backpack to his chest. David had bought him a new one - out of his own savings - after he noticed Max kept showing up at camp with the same torn-up duffel bag every year. It was dark green and stain-free. Max didn't think that was a good investment. But hey, Space-man merch was probably worse.
The red light turned yellow, then green, and they drove off in silence.
Silence.
Another red light, this time with plenty of stores and apartments on either side. Pedestrians walking up and down the sidewalk despite the current time. Chatter and car honks.
"That's my stop, i think i can see my parents over there." Max pointed at a random brown couple sitting in a starbucks patio. They didn't look up. Good.
"Alright, kid. One sec." Max scooted as far away as he could when Serial Killer twisted himself to face him, heart yammering in his chest in spite of himself. He hugged his bag tight, Blue hoodies and Mr. Honeynuts and all.
Serial Killer Pedophile Rapist then turned back, sliding open the cargo access door that Max hadn't noticed was there. There was some rustling as Max was wondering whether it would be too embarassing to scream.
He wouldn't be bold enough to attack here, in the middle of civilisation, right?
Before he could make his decision, His future murderer had already taken out his weapon of choice - wait.
It was a pack of sour patch kids?
Except if sour patch kids was space themed and the ugly mascot was replaced by an even uglier blue colored superman knock-off - Oh, that was Space-man.
"Here," Weirdo grinned, he was missing one of his front teeth. "Sour patches candy." He said.
What the fuck, "Awesome," Max said as he snatched the rip-off pack of candy and hopped out.
The night air was cool, and all of the noise he was hearing from inside the truck amplified unpleasantly in his ears. The traffic was still at a red light.
"Later." Max said, before slamming the door shut. The guy saluted.
Red light turned yellow, then green, and the truck drove off.
Okay, not the weirdest interaction Max has ever suffered, but still pretty weird.
He stared down at the 'Sour patches candy', Space-man stared back, face distorted in a permanent wink.
'First they're sour, then they're sweet', the packaging said. Under an entirely different context this time. Max wrinkled his nose in distaste.
He tore open the plastic and emptied the contents in a nearby bin. Pocketing the packaging, he redirected his attention to figuring out where he was.