Chapter Text
Uli was drumming her fingers on the desk to a melody only she knew, a habit Rusl usually found endearing, but right now it put him on edge more than he already was.
Link had agreed to meet them at high noon, mumbling about fixing up something and checking on the goats. Now it was way past noon, they had been sitting here for a combined two hours now, and Link had yet to show hide or hair.
Rusl heaved a sigh, snapping Uli out of the trance that rhythmically tapping the table had put her in, and direct his worried eyes onto her.
“Do ya think he’ll show?” She worried her lip, resulting in the question being mumbled, continuing to tap her fingers. Rusl watched the door again and shook his head. “He ain't one to break his promises, and he certainly ain't a liar neither.” His tone of voice was everything but motivational, and Uli stood up with less energy than usual.
“I’ll get started on supper” her cadence was off just so that Rusl furrowed his brow in worry at her, “No use wastin’ the day.” She mumbled, spared him a small, trying-to-be reassuring smile, and turned to walk towards the kitchen.
Rusl leaned back in his seat, watching the door, praying that his boy would burst through the door any moment, sheepish smile on his face and a rushed apology leaving his lips. He closed his eyes in exhaustion.
Link was stressed, seldom had something caused him this much panic, especially when he was in his home village. Yet he saw it clear as day, once he had transformed back into a Hylian, just finishing a stroll and washing his face in a nearby stream, it glared back at him.
Dark marks had formed under his eyes and across his forehead, he recognised them immediately, the dark streaks resembled the musterings on the wolf resting deep within his soul.
He had scrubbed on his face until it was flushed red and the water cooled the burning areas, but the marks didn't budge. He could feel his blood rushing in his ears, his heartbeat echoed in his mind and all he could feel was the metaphorical rug being pulled from under his feet. He staggered way from the water in rushed steps.
Link admittedly had made use of the twilight shard a lot, using it to travel, patrol and even herd his goats when he knew Fado wouldn't check in on him.
Sometimes it felt like a calling, an urge he couldn't suppress. He would steal himself away under the pretense of restlessness and just stroll through the forest, taking in all its sounds, sights and smells through heightened senses. It felt right, it felt like home but the way the shadow clung to him in his hylian form was now undeniable.
They had never truly left, but the crystal around his neck had sufficiently contained it, now he paid the price for not getting rid of the artefact, a physical manifestation of the shadows that would never leave him alone. A visual reminder of what he’d lost. I guess this is farewell, huh?
Now it was well into the afternoon and he was hours late to his meeting with Uli and Rusl.
Link was used to sneaking around Ordon Village, whether it be because he had snatched Colin’s brush to tease or was trying to avoid chores as a young boy, so to sneak into his house without being spotted was a manageable task.
Now he was freaking out trying to find ways to hide his face inconspicuously.
He tried anything but his hair was too short to hide the marks completely without him very suspiciously bowing his head, the cap in his drawer was fine, but why would he ever wear the hero's garb now? His adventure was over. Light and Shadow can’t mix.
Link groaned in frustration and rubbed across his face, eyebrows furrowed and nose scrunched.
He spotted a wolf's pelt in his wardrobe, it felt a bit grotesque, the pelt was made up of a hood donning the animal's ears and went along its back into its tail. It was a gift from Hanch, when he and Rusl killed it in defense of Ordon Ranch quite a few years ago.
It was warm, the pelt had kept him cozy some harsh winter nights. He hadn't felt right using it since he got back home.
He put it on, the ears drooped and a tingle washed down his spine as he realised it fit him a little too well, the tail aligned almost exactly with his tailbone. The dark fur was a scaringly good match to his own when the shadows took over his body.
He took the pelt off in a haste. It was way too warm to wear it anyways.
…
But he couldn't make Rusl and Uli worry even more. Link’s eyes darted around for any other way to cover his face, biting his lower lip in thought.
Rusl almost jumped from his seat when the door to their home was pushed open, a tall young man stumbling into the hut.
Link kept his head low, bangs covering up his face, refusing to look up. Rusl drew his brows together in worry as Uli rushed over to his side.
“Oh darlin’ you’re here!” She said, a worried smile on her lips as she glanced over to Rusl. Link nodded once and turned to close the door, still keeping his face hidden, turning around very slowly so his shorter hair wouldn't swoosh too much.
“You had us worried, son.” Rusl said, trying to catch the young ranchers eyes as he stood in front of the door, shifting his weight and not looking up. “Tought ya ditched us.” Rusl forced a chuckle out, but it did little to alleviate the tension that was building.
“You a’right Hon’?” Uli took a step towards Link, who tensed visibly, which made Uli stop in her tracks, face twisted with deep worry, unsure if she should touch the ranch hand.
“Son? What's troublin’ ya?” Rusl stood next to Uli, and watched as Link slowly showed his face, resigned to his fate.
Link felt his heart pounding all the way from his ears to his fingertips, an echoing thump thump, as his caregivers faces slowly came into view.
It felt as if the whole world got put on hold, like the river stopped flowing and the sun stopped inching westward.
Uli’s eyes were wide in shock, hand drawn to her mouth at the markings on the young man's face, dark and stark contrast to his tanned skin. Rusl held onto his wife’s arm, stabilising himself as he looked at his protege.
Link had counted every groove and line in the floor planks, marked out the way they swirled around knots in the wood. After the shocked gasp came silence. It felt like it was squeezing his heart, put weight on his lungs and suffocated him.
They looked horrified, in his frenzied mind they looked afraid. His thoughts were slowly working themselves into a worse and worse state, and he tried to focus on his breathing so he wouldn't run straight out the door again.
He felt a hand curl around his shoulder, and then the warm embrace of Uli, who pushed his head into her.
Link knew she was a worried woman, but he had never thought he’d be the reason for a shaking embrace that poured out every ounce of maternal worry she could muster - that privilege usually went to Colin and Rusl.
It made him feel all the more guilty. Guilty for making them wait on him, guilty for making hands tremble as she soothed over his shaggy blonde hair, guilty for that look in their eyes as their eyes jumped around his face, guilty, guilty, guilty. It pooled in his gut like hot coals and weighed twice as much.
He stood still, rigid, shoulders tense and every muscle taut, peeking out from under his hair at Rusl who stood by his side now. A thoughtful but worried expression painted his features.
“Link..” Uli let go of him, both of her hands cupped his face and her thumb traced the mark under his left eye. “You…”
Rusl put a hand on her shoulder, cutting off the sentence that was never going to get finished, the usually comforting gesture turned heavy. “Link, what did you do?”
Link couldn't stand their looks, he could guarantee that they knew. He could see that they knew. If his heightened senses translated to his hylian form he could've probably smelled the fear off them.
He had told them about the crystal, that it was made of the magic that invaded their world. That it was made to change whom it touched. That it had changed him.
He also remembered he told them he’d get rid of it.
“I’m sorry”, he choked out, “But I can’t–I can’t give her up!” Link refused to let the tears that clouded his vision fall. Rusl shook his head and Uli ushered them to the table with a tight grip on his shoulders.
“Link, look what it’s done to ya!” Rusl gestured at his face, “Son, that’s some evil thing.” Link wince was minuscule, a twitch of his finger and a clench of his jaw. “Ya need to let the past rest.” Rusl pleaded, voice an exasperation Link was familiar with when he’d hide from cleaning chores.
Link shook his head.
“It’s all I've got left,” of her was left hanging in the air unsaid, stuck in his troat. His mind procured a faint image of a shadow, her eyes, her hair, the shattering noise as the mirror broke. Never forget that there’s another world bound to this one.
He could never forget, he felt a faint touch and it drove him mad.
“It’s part o’ me” He mumbled, eyes locked onto the table. “I can’t get rid of it.” It felt too real, all of a sudden, that it was gone, she was gone.
As long as that mirror is around…
Uli took his hands, which had balled up, nails digging into his palms, and he looked at her through his lashes.
It hurt to see her so worried about him, but somehow it hurt more that they couldn't just say it was okay and let him go on his merry way.
Dread pooled in his gut, an inferno lighting deep within him, threatening to swallow him whole as his thoughts screamed louder and louder.
We could meet again…
“We could go to th’ Castle…” she said slowly, “Surely the Princess could, I dunno, purge it or somethin’?” She looked hopefully at the young man, it almost felt like there was a deep darkness lurking over him, as if the artefact around his neck had transformed into something more, something even worse, threatening to take him with it.
Her hands tightened around his.
Link withdrew his hands regardless, surprising her, “No,” he shook his head with vigor, a fire lit within his eyes all of a sudden, a passion so unlike how he had been acting these past months. It frightened her.
“She can't do nothin’ either.” To Rusl, it sounded unconvincing, the postman hadn't been in Ordon for a few weeks now, had Link truly corresponded with the princess about this? Why wouldn't he have said anything? Doubt plagued his mind.
“I told you, this here magic it's part of me, I aint like y’all.” The admission felt wrong, like poison dripping from his fangs, like claws ripping out his throat, it felt like his mind wanted to wring itself out and rip itself into pieces. A heart there, a lower intestine there, blood covered his hands — he needed to get out, out, out of here.
“I ain't a creature of light.”
Uli shook her head furiously, standing up slowly, chair scratching lightly over the old wooden planks where lines curled around a knot in the wood, “Link we can—”
“No,” Link stood abruptly, his chair clattering on the floor. He felt the walls closing in, the muscles around his bones tensing and untensing rapidly, his breath was leaving him. Prey, Predator, Man, Beast.
Fear.
“I gotta go.” He rushed out, syllables slurred together in a breathless sound.
Before Rusl and Uli could react, he was out the door, the heavy wood swinging into its lock behind him as he practically ran towards his home.
Uli sagged into herself, Rusl watched the closed door again. The shadows had pulled from the quaint little home.
Link ignored the whinny Epona let loose as he rapidly clambered up the ladder to his home – truth be told he hardly even noticed it, focus zeroed onto one goal, to get away.
His muscles were tense, breath heavy and eyes squinted as he practically broke into the room of his house. Every instinct in him was wired high, in the back of his mind he knew he was being irrational, that he had nothing to fear but at the forefront? The fight or flight was shifting heavily to the latter part of the spectrum.
Flight like prey, prey his fangs would dig into, prey like the people of Ordon if he lost control.
His breaths became ragged.
Uli and Rusl were the people who had loved him like he was their own, yet they had regarded him with that look of mild terror at his harshness, like he was a wild animal prowling, growling, pacing, calculating its victim and waiting for the right moment to attack. A predator ensnared under his own skin, a beast disguised as a man.
In his frenzy a single thought manifested in his mind, underlined twice and in bold – he needed to leave, Link was no longer welcome in Ordon Village, his family was terrified of him. He wasn't meant to be here, he was a monster.
Link… I…
The thought squeezed his heart as he hastily grabbed a bag, latches and straps for equipment hanging loose, and stuffed it full of things he knew he’d eventually need.
Bow, arrows, clawshots, food, potion, rupees, maps. He stuffed it all into the bag, little regard of tearing anything, panic filled his senses.
What if they were coming for him? Link faltered a second, people were irrational when they were struck by fear, it wouldn't matter to them that he was Link if he was also a beast, disguised among them, stalking their woods, hurting their children.
He pulled the latch close with some force and strapped his oil lantern onto the side.
He’d take Epona with him if she was willing but he had no clue where they’d go. Hyrule field seemed to be the obvious choice, perhaps he’d travel to Castle Town and get some advice from Thelma & Shad. Rent a room in the Tavern from his meagre earnings and go from there.
All he knew was that he had to get as far away from Ordon Village as possible, as fast as he could.
As Link filtered through his clothes, fingers brushed against the cold metal of his chainmail which he pulled free, links tugging on the green fabric, the small whisper in his mind, older than anything he knew, urged him to seek out Hyrule Castle.
He and Zelda had occasional meetings over tea, an insistence to get to know one another, perhaps she’d be able to help him somehow? Find some way to get to the realm of shadows with the help of the extensive Hyrule Castle library?
Link pulled the chainmail over his head and adjusted it, eyes landing on the green tunic. The material was much more suited for an impromptu adventure than any of the linen shirts he owned. He sighed and pulled it over. The material felt heavy, the weight of many a hero’s courage coursing through its threads.
It felt wrong, he wasn't worthy to wear it, he couldn't even save her.
See you later.
He pushed the hood of the wolf’s pelt off his head, adjusting it so it wouldn't fall, he wasn't ready to head straight for Hyrule Castle and it was nearing the end of summer, if he truly was gone for good it was the only piece that would keep him suitably warm. It was a nice memory, a painful reminder of what he was protecting.
He had been accused of his impulsive nature, of his desire to do right by everyone even at the expense of himself, but he would always roll his eyes and get that look. He knew community meant sacrifice and he was more than willing to give up his being if it meant that he’d never had to watch Rusl get that flicker of distrust in his eyes, to see Ulis trembling hands as he moved in fits of rage.
Like an animal, wild, harsh and dangerous to its surroundings. A beast.
With heavy hands Link tied his sash over the pelt and tunic, a colorful contrast to the washed green of his dress, a reminder of what he’d lost that day the shadows pulled him in and left him wanting.
He pulled his boots on, mud caked and worn. He’d gone on one world altering adventure, he’d survive a second one, the sword strapped to his back was heavy, heavier than he remembered when he wielded it the first time.
The echo of rushed strides ricocheted off the walls.
And then silence.
The beast had stopped prowling.