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“Remind me why we’re here again?” Rodney complained.
John rolled his eyes as he watched Rodney tug his jacket on while simultaneously stuffing the last of his breakfast in his mouth. “We’re here,” he reached out and straightened the hem of Rodney’s blue science shirt, “because Earth is sending someone to assess the Wraith threat level.”
Rodney looked unimpressed. “What? The IOA? Since when do they warrant the red carpet treatment? Didn’t you send the last one of them through the ‘gate on their ass?”
John smirked at the memory. That had been a fun day.
“Not the IOA,” he said. “The Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.”
He watched Rodney mouth the words under his breath, frowning, and saw that moment when it clicked. He grinned as Rodney’s eyes widened and his hands came up to grab at his arm. “S.H.I.E.L.D? I thought they were a myth.”
“Well, you were myth-taken.” John couldn’t resist, enjoying the dots of red that coloured Rodney’s cheeks whenever he showed his geek credentials.
“How’s my hair?” Rodney asked, suddenly taking an interest in the welcome committee.
John made a show of craning his neck and peering at the top of Rodney’s head. “There’s still some there,” he teased, dodging the vicious elbow Rodney poked at him in retaliation.
“Well, at least I don’t look like I stuck my finger in an electrical outlet,” Rodney sniped back.
John grinned at him, noticing the slight upturn of Rodney’s mouth. He suspected that Rodney enjoyed these bickering sessions almost as much as he did and one day he was going to catch the evidence on Rodney’s face.
“Incoming wormhole,” Chuck’s announcement silenced the ‘gate room and John nudged Rodney’s shoulder in anticipation.
The balding, middle-aged man that stepped through the ‘gate wasn’t exactly what John had expected and, for a moment, he thought that this was all an elaborate trick and he really did have the IOA to deal with again. Until his companion stepped through a second later.
“Ok, now that is freaky. Nat is gonna be so pissed off that she missed this.”
John groaned, causing both Rodney and the two newcomers to swivel around and stare at him. Now he knew this wasn’t the IOA. There’s no way in hell anyone would let Clint Barton join the IOA.
“Jesus Christ, Shep?” Clint whooped in delight. “I mean, I saw on the stack of papers that Phil made me read that there was a Lt. Colonel Sheppard from the Air Force in charge but - hell - I never thought you’d make it past Captain.”
Clint hugged him, throwing himself into John’s space with an easy disregard that spoke volumes of their history. At least, that’s how it felt to John. And, from the pinched look on Rodney’s face, he at least had picked up on the “we have serious history, ask us how” vibe that Clint was putting out there.
“Agent Barton,” the man who John assumed to be Phil interrupted their awkward reunion with a soft, chiding voice. John breathed a sigh of relief as Clint broke their hug and snapped to attention.
“Lt Colonel Sheppard, my name is Agent Phil Coulson.” Phil held his hand out to shake. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sir. Thank you for agreeing to our request to visit.”
John shrugged, still uncomfortably aware of Rodney’s accusing eyes on him. “Good to meet you,” he said as he shook Phil’s hand. “Welcome to Atlantis.”
Rodney wasn’t hanging around the control room trying to eavesdrop on the meeting between Sheppard, Carter and the S.H.I.E.L.D agents. He wasn’t.
No, he had very important scientific research things to do - on this computer - the one closest to the meeting room that Sam, John, Agent Suit and Agent Muscles were holed up in.
Who was he kidding? He was spying. He was spying on spies and wasn’t that the kicker?
Actually, the real kicker was that he had finally seen some convincing proof that Sheppard was into guys and it turned out that Rodney couldn’t be farther from John's type if he tried.
How was he supposed to compete with a S.H.I.E.L.D agent; with those muscles; with that hair?
He’d normally try and comfort himself by telling himself that it was his rampant paranoia running wild, but already he’d overheard more than one gossip fuelled conversation about just how exactly John knew the agent and oh my god, wouldn’t they be so hot together, I’d pay to watch that video.
Rodney may have chased that particular group of gossip mongers out of the control room with threats of making them descale the sanitation tanks.
He craned his neck to try and peek around the pillar that was obscuring John from his view and sighed, rapidly coming to the conclusion that it was useless and they could be going at it like bunnies on the desk right now and he would never know. He sighed heavily. Yeah, whichever way he looked at it, he was screwed.
“You must be Dr. McKay.”
Rodney did not jump out of his skin and squeal like a little girl but it was a close thing.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, sneaking around like that?” Rodney yelled. “And aren’t you supposed to be in there?” Rodney pointed towards the meeting room that he thought he’d been watching like a hawk.
The agent, Phil something, smiled at him and gestured at the pot of coffee that he was holding. “There’s plenty time for that,” he said. “Agent Barton and Lt. Colonel Sheppard have it under control for the moment.”
“I bet they do,” Rodney mumbled.
“Rodney - - can I call you Rodney?” Phil positioned himself on the edge of Rodney’s stolen workspace and despite his bland suit and mild mannered appearance, a small part of Rodney felt unsettled. He had the feeling that this man should never be underestimated. He nodded his agreement and shifted his chair a few inches back, suddenly nervous.
“I’m going to offer you a piece of advice, Rodney.” Phil continued. “Tell him how you feel.”
“What?” Rodney spluttered. “Who? What? I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
Phil just smiled, standing up and heading back to the meeting room. “Play it that way if you want, Dr. McKay,” he said. “But it worked wonders for me and Clint.”
Rodney gaped at the agent as he walked away. Him and Clint? That was…unexpected. But, on the plus side, it probably meant that John and Clint weren’t having sex on the table of meeting room . Not unless Phil was a lot kinkier than he looked.
Rodney hummed into his cup of coffee, pleased. The day was looking up.
John had always loved the pier at this time of day – the sun just staring to dip below the horizon, turning the water into a shining dazzle of twinkling lights. The cold beer gave him a gentle buzz at the back of his head and the only thing keeping the entire thing from being perfect was the lack of Canadian snark as a soundtrack.
“So, Shep,” Clint kicked his legs back and forth, his boots long since gone. “What’s going on with you and the science guy?“
John threw his bottle cap at Clint. It missed. He always seemed to miss when he was with Clint. Clint never seemed to miss, it was infuriating. Almost as infuriating as Clint quizzing him about Rodney.
"When did you become so damn observant?” John asked.
“Spy school,” Clint grinned as he tossed a handful of the peanuts into the air, catching every one in his mouth. Show off.
“It’s..complicated.”
“Right,” Clint snorted. “That’s Shep speak for I haven’t told him I like dudes.”
John didn’t reply which was answer enough for Clint who sighed and rolled his eyes. “You know,he probably realises that you’re into guys now, right?”
He did know. Hell, he’d been propositioned three times already today by three different guys. If it had been clear enough for them to work out, Rodney definitely had. He was the smartest man in two galaxies after all. John sighed. “Yeah. Thanks for that by the way.”
Clint ignored the sarcasm and raised his bottle in cheers. “You’re welcome. Just one thing, what are you doing drinking crappy beer with me when you could be tapping that ass?”
John grinned. “He does have a nice ass, right?”
“So?”
“What? You’re serious?” John laughed. “Rodney’s not into dudes. He’s been in love with Sam for years.”
“Uh-huh, then you want to explain why he’s done nothing but glare at me since I stepped through the circle thingy or why Phil caught him spying on our meeting earlier?”
“That’s just Rodney.” John shrugged. "And it might have something to do with you calling it the circle thingy."
“Or why when Phil told him that he and I were together and that he should ask you out, his entire face lit up like a Christmas tree?”
Clint took one look at the shock and hope on John’s face and laughed out loud. He reached over and grabbed John’s beer. “Go and get him, airman. I’m gonna hang out here for a bit.”
John hesitated just long enough to to be polite before taking off and running through the corridors of Atlantis, calling out apologies as he rounded corners too sharply and almost knocked several people off of their feet.
John was breathing heavily by the time he arrived at Rodney’s quarters, and only partly because of the exertion. Was he really doing this? What if Clint was wrong? What if this ruined everything? What if - -
“Are you planning on standing out there all day, Colonel?” Rodney stood in the doorway withhis arms crossed over his chest and his head tilted back - a challenge in his blue eyes. “I’d say we’ve wasted enough time already, don’t you think?”
John frowned, confused. “What?”
“For chrissake,” Rodney swore. “Do I have to do everything myself?”
John was still puzzling out what the hell was going on when Rodney grabbed him and pupil led him in for a - - kiss? Oh my God, he was kissing Rodney. Holy shit, Rodney could kiss.
John pushed forward, walking Rodney backwards into the room, hearing the doors shit behind them. “How did you - -” he muttered in between kisses, some feather soft and gentle, some hard and bruising - all perfect.
“Agent Coulson,” Rodney explained breathily as John latched onto his neck. “He’s kind of terrifying.”
John agreed. Anyone who could deal with Clint on a 24/7 basis was definitely someone not to be toyed with. He also agreed that now was definitely not the time to be talking about Coulson. Actually, now was definitely not the time for talking at all.
He soon found out that Rodney never stopped talking, not even during this. Somehow, John couldn’t find it in himself to mind.
All in all, S.H.I.E.L.D were turning out to be much more preferable to the IOA.