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I.
Marrying the King’s lover should either feel like treason or patriotism, Caroline thinks in one of those wild, giddy moments that keep occurring ever since she proposed to Michael Gabriel Fredersdorf. Except it doesn’t. She can’t decide what it is she feels. Just that she doesn’t want to be anywhere else but here, in this salon, because her husband-to-be is so ill right now that he can’t take her to the church, and has to exchange his vows with her from the sickbed. But he smiles at her, that quiet, knowing smile she always associates with him, and she’s sure he will be well again soon.
She is twentythree years old, a woman, not a girl anymore; Caroline is quite insistent on this point. He is twenty two years older, and she has known him for what feels like half her life, though closely only these last few years. And until a year ago, marriage would not have occurred to either of them.
II.
Sometimes, thinking of her childhood makes Caroline feel like an endlessly refolded and rewashed piece of linen. Her father is one of the richest men in Berlin, very determined to stay that way and not allow his children to waste his considerable fortune. Gottfried Daum had founded the Berlin Bank and Trading House Splitgerber & Daum with his partner David Splitgerber, and the bank as well as the gun and arms manufactory he founded later made him wealthier than many of the nobles who looked down on him. Her mother is the daughter of the court apothecary. Both have been determined for as long as Caroline can renember that she and her brother would, despite all of that wealth, not live like what her father referred to as „some idle frenchified nobles.“
They’re dressed in austere, practical grey and black, were taught the bible and not allowed to play until the evening. „Idleness invites the devil,“ her father says on those rare occasions when she sees him.
When Caroline is thirteen, her brother Carl runs away. He kisses her goodbye the night before he leaves, whispering „don’t let them drain the life out of you, sis“. Her father gets so upset that he has a stroke and dies, which ensures her mother won’t ever forgive Carl, who will eventually resurface in Italy, of all places. „Lord help us,“ her mother says. „He will become a Papist. Now I must see to it that you get married as soon as possible, my girl. And with some godly, decent man, too, who can look after the business.“
I could do that, Caroline thinks. As opposed to Carl, she has always been good with numbers. But at thirteen, she’s not yet ready to say such a thing out loud. She just decides she won’t get married until she wants.
III.
Being an heiress means Caroline is never short of admirers as soon as word gets around that whoever marries her will get his hands on one half of Splitgerber & Daum. Some of the men are even quite dashing, and despite the high opinion the nobility has of itself, there are several notoriously short of cash noblemen among them. Without her father’s rants about frenchified idleness, her mother is visibly tempted by the prospect of having a baron or a count as a son-in-law. Meanwhile, Caroline is tempted by the prospect of being her own mistress, and no longer under constant supervision, but two things are deterring her: many of them really do give the impression of just seeking an open purse and combine this with an inability to count, and those who are younger than fifty often come with stern looking mothers, meaning Caroline would simply trade in one strict parent for another, and she can’t see any advantage there. Thankfully, she figures out a way to deterr unwanted admirers quite easily. She simply has to claim her brother Carl will be returning from Italy soon, and it will be he, not she as a mere woman, who will then get possession of her father’s inheritance. If that isn’t enough, or they are regrettably better informed, she can up the ante by insisting they debate the trading papers with her, which since her father’s death she is allowed to read. That cools the ardor of most gentlemen.
IV. Michael Gabriel Fredersdorf has been doing business with Splitgerber & Daum since Caroline was ten years old, for that was when the old King her father had modelled himself after died, and the new King, Fredersdorf’s patron, ascended to the throne. Before that point, Fredersdorf was a valet to the Crown Prince. Since then, it’s easier to say what he’s not, for he seems to have so many tasks; Treasurer, Grand Chamberlain, Secret Councillor, and besides all of this, he also had time to buy shares in trading companies and breweries.
As long as her father is alive, she doesn’t get to meet him, along with most other business partners other than David Splitgerber himself. Afterwards, her mother has concluded that of all the men of her acquaintance, Fredersdorf has to know both the most high ranking and the most wealthy people, and so she keeps inviting him for tea, which means he has to return the favour and escort Caroline and her mother to various social occasions.
It never occurs to her mother to regard Fredersdorf himself as a possible candidate for her daughter’s hand. For one thing, he might be rich and powerful now, but he’s the son of a town piper in Pomerania who used to be a common soldier and then in service. Her mother, whose father was a most respectable apothecary, has an innate distrust of musicians and servants both. And secondly, everyone knows that Fredersdorf is the King’s favourite. Quite what this entails, Caroline is not told as a girl, but once she starts to attend salons, gossip quickly fills her in. It is a peculiar thought. Fredersdorf is a very handsome man, but doesn’t speak a single word of French, and has so many functions to fulfill that Caroline can’t help but wonder when he and the King find the time to do anything else.
V. „My dear girl,“ Ludolf von Katte tells her when she rejects his proposal, „you really should be aware your prospects are fastly declining. You are over twenty years old now, aren’t you? People have to wonder why you are not married already, what, precisely, is wrong with you. More than five years on the shelf are suspicious, and if one counts from the moment your father died, you are nearing a decade.“
Ludolf von Katte is older than the King and Fredersdorf. He has reddish hair, which one can tell because he has it on his hands as well as under his wig, and a neighing laugh. She can’t stand him.
„You are aware I am doing you a favour, aren’t you? My family is one of the oldest in Brandenburg, and you’d be hard pressed to find another the King favours more,“ he adds smugly. She knows what he’s alluding to. In the year of her birth, Ludolf von Katte’s cousin had died for the King, who since his ascension has indeed showered the family with honours. Suddenly Caroline is afraid that if Ludolf von Katte presses his suit even after her discouragements, her mother might say yes, and so will her guardian, David Splitgerber, her father’s old partner. Some spectacular rudeness seems to be called for.
„The King can’t favour you so much that you need to marry a non-noble heiress on the shelf,“ Caroline observes. „Your debts must be considerable.“
Ludolf von Katte doesn’t blink. „Not for much longer“, he replies with a cold smile. „And you really would do well to practice a kinder tone towards me, Demoiselle. Trust me, the King will give me any heiress I want.“
VI.
Music is something Caroline has experienced only in church for the first thirteen years of her life. But in the next ten, this has changed, not least because all the noble and rich people her mother wants to socialize with are forming their taste after the King’s, and the King loves music. So does Fredersdorf. Quite a few of the invitations he has extended to her mother and herself have been to concerts, and once she became officially an adult, he has included the opera as well. Caroline can’t say she loves music with the same passion he seems to have, but she does like to listen at times, and besides, music and math have quite a few things in common. On the day after Ludolf von Katte swanned off confidently declaring the inevitability of their marriage, Caroline discovers another advantage the opera has; when a celebrated castrato singer and the prima donna are fiercely competing in their duet, everyone stares at the stage, and no one, not even her mother, notices when she turns to Fredersdorf and murmurs that she needs to talk to him alone. Not half an hour later, her mother is distracted by a visit from a Countess Bentinck in their box, who seems to urgently want an audience with the King and hence is prepared to do Fredersdorf a favour, while Caroline and Fredersdorf have ended up in the dressing room where the singers currently on stage prepare themselves. There is no time to waste, so Caroline comes to the point immediately.
„Ludolf von Katte claims he and his family can demand anything from the King they want. And he wants me as a bride, by which he means he wants my money. I don’t want to marry him, but I don’t want to make the King angry, either, so – would you marry me instead?“ she blurts out.
In the near decade she’s now known him, Caroline has seen Fredersdorf not just in his social, amiable mood, but also, more recently when he hasn’t been well, exhausted, weary, at times even terse. But never surprised. This changes immediately. He stares at her, blinks, and has a small coughing fit.
„First of all,“‘ he says when he’s calmed down again, „while it is true His Majesty is inclined to favour the Katte family, he would very much resent the implication that they can demand whatever they want, so if you wish it, my dear Caroline, I can, shall we say, discourage Major von Katte by informing him of this in no uncertain terms. And secondly, I have to point out that a marriage on my part might not be conducive to making His Majesty less angry, though I do finden it flattering that you consider me as a groom.“ He smiles at her. „If only to escape the dastardly Ludolf von Katte.“
Caroline is both incredibly relieved, grateful, and, she discovers, somewhat disappointed. She had less than a day and night to think this through, granted, but the more she pondered it, the better a prospect her idea appeared to her. She knows Fredersdorf. She likes Fredersdorf. She enjoys his company. More than the company of any suitor who has darkened her doorstep in a now considerable number of years. It would not be a sacrifice on her part at all to marry him.
Before she can stop herself, she says: „Not just for that reason, Grand Chamberlain, not at all.“ Then, because she doesn’t want him to stop spending time with her due to embarrassment, she hastily adds a joke which isn’t completely one: „After all, my money would be safe with you, wouldn’t it? And I could look after yours as well. I’ve got Herrn Splitgerber to let me learn book keeping, did I tell you?“
He doesn’t laugh, though he keeps smiling. What he does, for the first time, is kiss her hand before he escorts her back to her mother.
VII.
Whatever Fredersdorf said to Ludolf von Katte causes him to delete himself from Caroline’s social circle entirely. Years later, she hears he snatched up another heiress, Catherine du Rosey, and managed to squander most of her money very quickly. In the end, Ludolf von Katte’s main importance in her life turns out to be the difference he made to her relationship with Fredersdorf.
„I knew your mother is trying to use our acquaintance to find a good match for you,“ he says to Caroline the next time they see each other, which is during a stroll through the Tiergarten, „but until now, I didn’t have the impression you were interested in the matter as well.“
„Until now, I wasn’t.“
„What is it that you want from a husband, Demoiselle?“ he asks her, and while he still sounds playful, she doesn’t have the impression he’s mocking her. Caroline has had enough time to wonder about this, so she doesn’t hesitate with her reply.
„Good companionship and freedom, Grand Chamberlain, and purpose. My mother means well, but she still treats me as a child, so does Herr Splitgerber, and if I don’t marry, this will never change. But I don’t want a marriage where I’m just my husband’s purse and we are strangers to each other, either, even if that gives me the opportunity to do what I wish. My husband needs to value my company as well as my money, and I need to do the same.“
„You don’t hold yourself cheaply“, he comments, and doesn’t sound as if he dissapproves. „And purpose?“
Caroline thinks about the other heiresses she’s observed in recent years, those who did get married almost as soon as they were presented. Some have found happiness. Not many, and there is an aura of discontent and boredom around most, regardless of whether or not they now have children of their own.
„A life without purpose is no life,“ she says quietly.
„No,“ Fredersdorf agrees. „No, it isn’t.“
VIII.
Fredersdorf does present her with a list of potential husbands. Some of them are young nobles who need money more than a faultless bloodline, some are good burghers with money of their own, and some haven’t got money yet, but they have talent and would use hers for good purposes. All, he swears, are good company and would value hers. It’s not that Caroline dislikes them when she gets introduced, but she unerringly finds something to complain about regardless.
„Count Lehndorff is a kind young man with an agreeable manner, isn’t he?“
„And if he ever stops bringing up the fact he’s friends with his Majesty’s younger brothers, and how Prince Heinrich is perfection in human form, we might actually find something to talk about.“
„Perhaps young Lessing is more to your liking. He’s a brilliant conversationalist and loves the arts, according to our court composer, Herr Bach. I do think he’s looking for a clever, practical woman to manage his life.“
„He might be, but I’m not her, for he seems to disapprove of the fact much of my money hails from the selling of weapons.“
„This finding of husbands is far more complicated than I assumed,“ Fredersdorf sighs, and before she can protest that she does appreciate his efforts, she catches the twinkle in his eyes and realises he’s teasing her. This emboldens her.
„It is just that knowing you has equipped me with a very high standard to match any candidates against,“ Caroline retorts, which is the kind of flirtatious remark she never used to make towards him. Besides, it happens to be true.
„Unfortunately,“ Fredersdorf says, and looks at her with an intent gaze that carries some sadness in it, „I would not fulfill one of your key criteria, Caroline. I could not possibly be a good companion to you.“
„But I enjoy,“ she begins to protest, and for the first time, he interrupts her.
„I’m glad you enjoy our conversations and meetings. So do I. But that is not the same as sharing a life. I am two decades older than you, my dear, and not in the best of health; if you were living with me, you would have to nurse me quite often, and that is surely not what a young wife should expect. Most important, though, is this: I am already sharing a life. My heart and my loyalty could never be yours above everyone else’s.“
IX.
After this conversation, Caroline doesn’t see Fredersdorf for a while. He wasn’t exaggerating when talking about his health, it seems, for he is travelling to Bad Pyrmont to take the waters there, despite it not being the season for it. She tries to tell herself that she needs to be sensible. And practical. She has always known that the King comes first in his life. And proposing to him had been a measure of desperation to begin with, hadn’t it, caused by the fact that she thought she needed someone even more in favour with the King than the Katte family is, and that need is now not an issue anymore. It is not a matter of being in love with Fredersdorf. Is it?
She waits for letters. She misses him, enough to encourage gossip about the King among her suitors. Unfortunately, all everyone talks about in regards to the King has nothing to do with his Grand Chamberlain and everything with Voltaire, the most famous of French poets who is currently living with the King.
„Arguing with the King is the better description,“ says young Lessing, who had to translate for Voltaire in a lawsuit, and tells her a story involving the secret buying of Saxon war bonds, which is interesting, and the King and Voltaire writing supposedly anonymous pamphlets about each other, which is not. Except that it sounds very stressful indeed for anyone living near them. Maybe Fredersdorf is taking the waters not just because of his bad health.
„It seems to me,“ Caroline writes to Fredersdorf with the recklessness thinking about him brings out increasingly in her, „that you are sharing your life with more than one person already. A wife would provide not distraction, but balance.“
X.
Taking the waters is supposed to restore one’s health, or at least to improve it, but Fredersdorf returns still looking exhausted and pale. Well, he did take his secretary along, and presumably kept conducting business from Bad Pyrmont.
He has brought her a gift. Not flowers or jewels, but the latest reports on trading companies in a paper printed in Hamburg. „If you were to buy shares in any of these,“ he asks her, „which one would it be?“
She’s cajoled and bullied her guardian to send her reports on how Splitgerber & Daum is doing for a few years now, and Fredersdorf knows this. He’s been one of the people who originally explained to her how to read those reports. So the question isn’t an idle one, and yet it feels like he’s looking for more than one answer.
She makes her choice, and he looks relieved.
„Well,“ Fredersdorf says, „then, it seems, I chose the right present. Because that is the very company I bought a share from for you.“
Suddenly, her pulse quickens.
„It is not my birthday, or my nameday,“ Caroline says slowly.
„But it is customary for a proposal to come with a present, I believe,“ Fredersdorf replies. and smiles at her. Caroline can’t help herself. It is not ladylike at all, but she beams back.
„Trust you to come with something more original than a ring, Grand Chamberlain,“ she says lightly, though she does wonder whether he’ll follow custom enough to kiss her hand again. Or her cheek.
„I want you to be very clear on what it is I am proposing,“ Fredersdorf says, and sits down next to her, carefully. „It will not be a marriage in the way you would enjoy it with any of the young men I suggested to you before. My health doesn’t show any signs of getting better, and I am afraid that children will be out of the question for this and other reasons. But it will be true companionship. I would share my business and concerns with you, and would expect you to do the same. You have an excellent head for business, Caroline, and while my nieces and nephews are much loved by me, this can’t be said by any of them. So I would treat you as my future heir, which, even if some medical miracle does occur, you will most likely be, given our respective ages. Is this the kind of purpose that would suit you?“
Instead of crying „yes“ immediately, Caroline tries to do justice to her adult state and praised head for business by silently counting to ten until she replies „It would. May I add some conditions of my own, though?“
He tilts his head and regards her pensively. „By all means.“
„I will gladly share my business and concerns, but you must promise to let me share my joys and delights as well. I – I have understood you in regards to children, do not mistake me. This is not what I mean. But if and when I find something that causes me enjoyment, I would wish to share it with you. As your good friend and companion. Would this suit you…. Michael?“ she ends, and is absurdly glad she’s made sure her mother won’t be at home today. Even though she has won an increasing number of battles against her mother the older she gets, she would not have been able to say anything like this in her mother’s company. There is someting about a mother that has the power to reduce the very adult woman Caroline is into the girl whose fingers were beaten with a ruler when she was caught eating something before dinner.
Her mother won’t be completely happy about Fredersdorf as a son-in-law, due to his low origins, but he’s far too influential and wealthy to reject. This will become real. This will happen. If he doesn’t say no now, if he doesn’t withdraw, she will become Caroline Fredersdorf.
Fredersdorf takes her hand. His fingers are still those of the musician he started out as, firm and flexible at the same time. They are also warmer than she would have expected, as if he’s running a fever. Ruefully, and with a tenderness she hasn’t heard from anyone before, he says:
„It might not be for long. But for however much time we have, Caroline, I think we will suit each other very well indeed.“