Chapter Text
I fucked up.
I don't know exactly what I did or when or where, but somehow I messed up along the way. There is no other explanation for what is happening right now. Everything was going just fine — or so I thought — until that moment I had been waiting for, but secretly hoping would never come.
It had never happened before, not even once in all that time. For years, centuries — hell, millennia — everything went perfectly as planned. Well... more or less. Things were sometimes easier or more difficult to achieve, but ultimately, the goal was always reached.
ALWAYS.
And now? Now, for the first time ever, things have gone wrong, and I have no idea what to do. You're probably thinking, 'What the hell do you mean?' What did you do?' But before I explain my current situation, there are a couple of things you need to know.
Fact no. 1: I am a vampire.
So don’t act surprised when I say 'centuries', because when I say 'centuries', I actually mean it; I'm not exaggerating. Even though I sound dramatic (I’ve been told so many times before). I’ve been on this earth for a very long time. After I died, I slept for a while and woke up in the Middle Ages to discover that I was not dead. Since then, I have only gone into hibernation when it has been convenient to do so.
I could talk about my non-living life for years – you get it? Years, just because I can. No? Okay. But I would bore you to death. Don't worry, you'll hear about it later.
Fact no. 2: I don’t know anything about being a vampire.
You’d think there would be some kind of rulebook on how to be a vampire, teaching you how to live... well, how to exist. But there isn't.
Sometimes you have a maker who directs you at the beginning, if they care enough. If they don't, though, you're on your own. What happened in my case is a story for another time. Let's just say that you don't receive any guidance; usually, you don't even know what vampires are. Unless, of course, you wake up in the 21st century, in which case you can take the first book you find in the 'fantasy' section and consider yourself an expert. Of course, not everything in there is true, but it's still better than what I knew when I bit a human for the first time. That's certainly not a memory I'd like to recall right now, or anytime soon.
Thinking about my experience, I should probably write a handbook on being a vampire — why haven't I thought of it earlier? Never mind, as I said, pop culture isn't everything, but it's something at least.
I’m certainly not Edward Cullen, running around the forest on drugs and sparkling in the sun like I’m covered in glitter. I’m not a fucking unicorn. Then again, I don’t consider myself a wannabe Dracula, but some vampires actually do like to dress up in medieval gowns and wear a thick layer of make-up. But to each their own, I guess.
Fact no.3: Destiny is real.
Nobody could ever convince me otherwise. It’s closely linked to the story you’re about to hear. You won’t believe it at first, but neither did I. Now, look at me: I'm completely convinced that the concept of destiny works. Um… worked?
This shouldn't be fact no. 3; that shit is apparently not working anymore, and my main problem currently is finding out why. So scratch that — let's try again.
(Better) fact no.3: I am actually fucking old.
As I mentioned earlier, I woke up in the Middle Ages, but I lived my life long before that. Judging by my date of birth, I must be very old. However, I didn’t live for very long – probably only about 25 to 30 years. I was bitten and died on the same day. I didn’t know back then that you didn’t necessarily die immediately after being bitten; that was just what happened to me because my maker had no self-restraint and let me bleed out on the street.
Things could have happened differently: I could have lived through my life, died peacefully, and then got up as a vampire. It's like being a zombie — you have to die to become undead. I was buried, then I woke up and continued living my new life, working not to get myself killed in the meantime.
I survived until today; the 21st century is the century of my downfall.
Enough warnings and explanations — everything will become clearer at some point, I promise. But you must understand that I'm feeling a little panicky, so please excuse me for not being completely honest with you. Also, I just don't think I could ever tell you enough to prepare you.
There are too many facts to mention beforehand. My advice is to keep up.
Now I can finally start with the story itself. As you know, shit is going down, but let's start from the beginning. Let's go back to when I first met them.