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everything i can't afford to know is possible now

Summary:

(title from "Stray Italian Greyhound" by Vienna Teng)

With Bam away on a mission for FUG, Aguero is prepared to spend his birthday pretending it doesn't exist. His friends teammates have a different idea.

(another (very late) birthday fic for khun! this is a year-after of last year's)

Notes:

hellooooooo

this one took me a while! i uh meant for there to be a lil more khunbam but endorsi wanted to steal the show. so she is very much there and i love her

hope you enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"Hey asshole, it's time to get up!"

Accompanying Endorsi's words was the sound of pounding at the door, incessant and infuriating. Still, Aguero hadn't heard any alarm from his pocket or lighthouse, so it couldn't be an emergency. He rolled over to face away from the door, reaching to pull Bam closer to him.

Except his hand only landed on empty sheets. Something bitter twisted in his gut, pulling him into wakefulness. Over a month since Bam had left on a mission for FUG with no word of when he'd be back, and Aguero still hadn't gotten used to having the bed to himself.

"Go away," he called, pulling the pillow over his head. There were plenty of things for Aguero to do with Bam away, but without the frantic pace of climbing they took on when they were together, his sense of urgency had plummeted. He could afford to lock himself away in his room until he was ready to face his team without snapping at any of them. If he was lucky, he would even be able to coerce Isu into bringing him his food so he didn't actually have to leave as he worked.

"You have ten seconds to unlock this door before I kick it down," Endorsi said, as if she'd read his mind. "Ten... Nine..."

With a groan, Aguero flicked his wrist and called his lighthouse over. He typed the command into it without raising his head to look, and the door beeped as it unlocked. The sound of it opening quickly followed, then the sound of booted footsteps across the floor.

"You look pathetic," Endorsi drawled. She grabbed his pillow from under his head, yanking it from his grip. When he glared at her, she simply tossed it away to land on his lighthouse. "We all know you're perfectly functional without Bam around, so why don't you act like it?"

"I have been perfectly functional," Aguero groused as he sat up. Clearly, Endorsi wouldn't be letting him wallow. "I've just been taking advantage of the chance to sleep in." He squinted at her, finally processing the leggings and loose tank top she'd chosen to wear. "No. No, you are not dragging me out to spar this early."

"It's eleven," Endorsi said dryly. "And yes, I am. If you aren't ready in thirty minutes, I'll carry you out just like this."

She didn't wait for a response before turning on her heel and marching out of the room. Though Aguero was tempted to flop back down on the bed and go to sleep, he was well aware that Endorsi wouldn't hesitate to follow through on her threat, and he didn't need that embarrassment.

Twenty-eight minutes later, he was freshened up and dressed in clothes suited for sparring. He opened his door to find Endorsi leaning on the wall across from his room and scrolling through her pocket. Her eyes flicked up to him, and she nodded at him before returning to tapping out a message.

He took the opportunity to check his own pocket, heart stuttering a beat when he noticed a notification from Bam.

Happy birthday, Khun! I'm sorry I can't be there, but please try to have some fun today. I miss you!

Aguero's lips pressed together as he checked the date. Sure enough, it was the 29th. Yet again, he'd let it arrive without him, and yet again, Bam had to be the one to remind him. With Bam absent, though, celebrating couldn't be further from his mind.

"Alright, let's go," Endorsi said, and Aguero quickly dismissed his pocket. He'd have to reply to Bam later; Endorsi hated to be kept waiting.

She began at a brisk pace, one that Aguero had to hurry to keep up with. After a few minutes of silence between them, it became clear that she had no plans to start a conversation with him. Normally, Aguero would be more than happy to let that pass, but he had nowhere near enough answers.

"Care to explain why you were in such a hurry to get me out of there?" he asked, making sure to let his irritation seep through the words. "There's nothing happening today, and you can't find that much joy in hammering against my lighthouse shields."

"We have reservations to keep," Endorsi replied shortly. She passed by the path that would take them to the floor's gymnasium, turning the other way, and Aguero ground to a halt as realization made that now-familiar bitterness flare up in his chest.

"I don't need you to pity me," he told her when she turned to look back at him. "Just because Bam's not here doesn't mean you have to..." He wasn't sure exactly what she was trying to do, but she was up to something. "You don't have to do anything for me today. I don't want you to." Not without Bam there to celebrate with them, at least. The idea of being the subject of celebration still sat uncomfortably under his skin, though it was easier to bear when Bam was at his side. Without him there, all Aguero wanted to do was make a tactical retreat.

Endorsi rolled her eyes. "That's what you said last year, and things turned out fine." Her lips pulled into a scowl. "More than fine for you, given how long you hoarded Bam for."

"Jealousy's an ugly look on you," Aguero shot back, more out of habit than anything else. Given that she was right, he didn't have a lot to refute her with, but that didn't settle his unease.

"I don't know why I bother," Endorsi said, impatience snapping at the heels of her words, "but I've already spent too many points today for you to skip out on me. Either you come with willingly or I carry you the rest of the way. Your choice."

"Neither of us want this," Aguero argued. "I know Bam put you up to doing something for me, but he doesn't have to know I skipped out. I can go back, and you and the rest can enjoy the reservations you made. I'll even pay any extra points you had to spend on me."

"No way. We may be able to lie to Bam, but someone's going to crack the second Bam starts asking questions." She paused, her mouth pulling upward in a wicked grin. "Plus, Isu would be happy to tattle on you. I couldn't stop him if I wanted to."

Some days, Aguero hated her. If he hadn't made friends with Bam on the second floor, he never would have gotten stuck with her and all the rest of her insufferable teammates.

Then again, he would never trade meeting Bam for any other path.

"Fine," he gritted out.

She laughed, flicking her hair out of her face triumphantly as she set out again. Aguero followed.

The building she led him to was plain, not even a door visible in the nondescript grey wall in front of them. However, when Endorsi activated her pocket, a panel in the wall slid open.

"Good morning," a receptionist greeted them, voice deadpan. When Endorsi flashed her pocket at him, he waved a lighthouse over to them, paperwork already visible on one of its sides. "We take no liability for anything that happens in the rooms. Once you get your room, you'll have twenty minutes. A warning will sound when you have five minutes left, then when your time is up. If you don't leave, your pocket will automatically be charged after one minute. All of this is also written on the agreement."

"What the hell," Aguero muttered to Endorsi as she took the lighthouse and skimmed briefly over it before signing. "What kind of place did you bring me to?"

"It's called a rage room," Endorsi said, a certain smugness in her voice that made Aguero's irritation flare again. "You'll see when we get in there." With a flick of her wrist, she sent the lighthouse careening toward him, and he shot her a glare as he stopped it and instinctually brought it under his shinsu control.

He took longer to review the document than she had, but could find no egregious loopholes or anything out of place for a standard liability waiver. Reluctantly, he signed it and sent it back much more carefully to the receptionist. He caught the lighthouse without looking, then passed over two bundles of clothing with helmets and boots stacked on top.

"You're in room three," the man said, already more focused on his pocket than either of them. He pointed down the hallway to his left— as if there was anywhere else they could go. "Room'll open when you scan your pocket. You can choose to wear the gear or not, but injuries are on you."

"Thanks," Endorsi threw over her shoulder, already marching down the hallway. She threw a warning look at Aguero, but he'd already resigned himself to his fate and followed, leaving the protective gear on the desk.

The two of them stopped in front of a door labeled with a three, and Endorsi presented her pocket to the scanner to the right of it. With a creak, the door slid open.

Endorsi grabbed his arm as if to keep him from escaping, dragging him into the room as the door shut behind them.

Inside, the walls were covered in soundproof pads, and in one of the corners hung a punching bag. Against one wall was a cabinet, clear doors displaying a variety of weapons. Along another wall was a table with vases, plates, and other fragile objects arranged neatly on top, and several wooden chairs tucked into the side.

Really, there were only so many conclusions one could draw from the information he was presented with. "What makes you think I'm interested in this?" he said flatly.

She didn't grace him with a response, marching to the table and hefting one of the vases.

"Anaak and I found this a few days ago," she said, tossing it back and forth between her hands. Without warning, she lobbed it at him, and he lunged forward to catch it. He shot her a withering glare, but she only shrugged. "You've had a stick up your ass ever since Bam's been gone, and I thought this would help." This time, her grin was challenging. "Throw it on the ground."

And, well, Aguero wasn't one to turn down a challenge, especially not when it came from Endorsi. He raised the vase above his head, reinforcing his body with shinsu in case any loose shards came flying toward him. Then he threw the vase as hard as he could at the ground, watching as it shattered into hundreds of glittering pieces.

Something loosened in his chest, a feeling he couldn't name. He grabbed a wine glass, its crystalline pattern so similar to the glasses his mother stocked in her home, and threw it at the far wall. Its stem snapped on impact, and when it hit the floor, it too broke into shards. His next exhale came out in a shudder, a wave of gratification rolling through him.

"Told you," Endorsi laughed, grabbing Khun's lighthouse to sit on top of it. She floated it toward the ceiling, safely out of the way of any wreckage on the ground. "Just pretend I'm not here; I already had my fun."

This time, when Aguero rolled his eyes, it was more for show than any kind of exasperation; as much as he hated to admit it, the coil of stress that had plagued him throughout Bam's absence had unwound just a bit with each item he'd thrown. Even he wasn't stubborn enough to spite himself just to try to prove her wrong. He made his way over to the cabinet of weapons and got to work.

Twenty minutes later, the two of them were making their way back out onto the street, Aguero's chest thrumming with a kind of satisfaction he'd never expected. It had been a long time since he was able to let that feeling sit, with each victory followed by some kind of crisis for him to handle.

Maybe, if the rest of the day was something like this, he could handle it.

"What's next?" he asked, and when Endorsi looked back at him in surprise, he arched a brow judgmentally. "You said reservations, plural. I've given up, so you might as well just tell me what to expect."

"I could," Endorsi said, "but you could also just see for yourself." She crossed her arms over her chest. "The world won't end if you just let things happen to you sometimes, you know."

Aguero scowled. "All of you would be dead a dozen times over if I made a habit of that."

"On the battlefield," Endorsi stressed. "You're not going to die if you just let me take you places. Bam would be pissed if I led you to your death, anyway."

He heaved a sigh, but couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth. "You'd never be able to lead me into a trap," he told her. "We both know not to trust each other."

"And that's why it's me leading you and not Isu," Endorsi said. "You can't even relax unless you're busy mistrusting someone."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Not my problem." Despite her harsh words, Endorsi's tone remained light. She stopped walking, and with a start, Aguero realized that they'd ended up in front of a spa. His lips pulled down into a frown, tension creeping back into him.

"No, I'm not—"

"I rented it out," Endorsi interrupted. "There aren't going to be any other Regulars there."

"We don't have time for this," Aguero tried instead, though the words felt muffled under the sound of his heartbeat in his ears.

"Khun," Endorsi said, her voice losing its amused lilt. "We have nothing else going on today, and I booked a private bath experience. No one will see us once we're through the door, but you can put up your lighthouse shields, too. The staff will only be around when we're clothed."

"Since when were you capable of being reasonable?" Aguero grumbled, but the reassurance was unfortunately effective. He sighed again, letting the tension seep from him once more. "Alright. Let's do this."

Endorsi smiled briefly. "Good, I knew you weren't completely hopeless." She stepped through the front door of the spa, and Aguero followed.

As she'd promised, there was no one there but the people working there, and after Endorsi proved her identity with her pocket, a group of them ushered her and Aguero into separate rooms before leaving.

Aguero did a swift scan for cameras with his lighthouse, and once it came back clean, stripped out of his clothes and pulled on the provided robe. He opened the opposite door to a cloud of steam, a faint herbal scent accompanying it. In the room beyond was a steaming bath set in the ground, large enough for one person. He crossed the threshold into the room, again using his lighthouse to scan it. Again, there was nothing there, and Aguero set up his lighthouse to alarm him if the door opened before shedding his robe and stepping into the bath.

At first, the water stung against his skin, but he sank into the bath regardless, a groan slipping from his mouth. It had been so long since he last allowed himself to enjoy a hot bath, given how often their team was busy planning for a floor test or frantically escaping the armies of Jahad or an antagonistic branch of FUG. The last time he'd even been to a public bath was with Isu, Hatz, Rak, and Bam— teammates who he knew would have his back in mundane settings as much as they would on the battlefield. Even with other Regulars there, Aguero hadn't found it difficult to let down his guard knowing that none of them would dare to harass him in the face of such an infamous team. He still wasn't sure whether his team was aware of the effect they'd had, but it was the most relaxed he'd been in years.

This experience, with the spa completely cleared out and no one around to witness him, was already promising to prove similar. Aguero leaned back in the water, resting his head back on the tile behind him and letting his eyes fall shut.

His pocket pinged a moment later with a message from Endorsi, and he cracked an eye open to check it.

We've got half an hour to bathe, then I've booked massages and a salon treatment. I'll message you when the thirty minutes is up.

Aguero hesitated, then tapped back a message. Thanks.

No further reply from Endorsi came, and with a huff of laughter, Aguero settled further back into the water. Clearly Endorsi was taking their relaxation seriously, if she wasn't even going to use the time to pester him.

While there was no chance Aguero would let his guard down enough to actually fall asleep in a semi-public place, the security provided by his lighthouse combined with the warmth from the water pulled him into a light doze.

It felt like only a few minutes had passed before his pocket sounded again, though the looseness in his limbs told him exactly how long he'd been drifting half-consciously.

Time to get out, it read. I had them put an outfit for lunch in your room, so don't you dare leave it behind.

Slowly, he roused himself, his mind and body languid as he pulled himself out of the water. He fetched one of the towels sitting nearby and used it to dry himself before putting the robe back on. When he stepped back into the changing room, there was a second set of clothes set beside the first. He tucked them both away in his lighthouse before stepping out in the hallway.

Endorsi was already waiting there in an identical robe to his, one of the staff members standing with her.

"Please follow me," the man said, turning on his heel to lead the way further into the spa.

Rather than follow immediately, Endorsi first turned to Aguero, her lips curled up mischievously. "Have a nice bath?"

Faintly, Aguero felt the stirring of sharp words on his tongue, but the weight of contentment lingering over him was a stronger force. "Yes," he answered simply, brushing past her as she let out a sharp laugh.

"Maybe I should drag you out like this more often, if you're going to be this agreeable," Endorsi said, moving swiftly to walk at his side.

"Don't get used to it," he replied, with none of the usual bite he might have injected into the words. "The Tower won't stop for us forever."

Endorsi made a quiet hum, the sound slightly more sober than before. "Maybe not."

The silence that settled over them as they walked was comfortable, a temporary truce in their usual vicious exchanges. They entered a room with two massage tables and a pair of masseuses, who turned away so that they could disrobe and lie down.

For a moment, Aguero hesitated, but Endorsi shot him a look. There was a threat dancing in her eyes, though not aimed at him. In that moment, he was more than certain that Endorsi wouldn't hesitate to start a fight if anything happened. That, more than anything, was enough to allow him to relax again and get on one of the tables.

The rest of their spa appointment passed in a pleasant blur; by the end of it, Aguero was tempted to never move again, but Endorsi dragged him back toward the changing rooms.

"We're almost running late for lunch," she warned, shoving him toward his door.

"If you gave me the coordinates, I could teleport us there," Aguero said, barely stifling a yawn.

"Teleportation ruins my hair," Endorsi snapped. "And I paid way too much to deal with that, so you'll just have to hurry up and get changed."

"I'll take all the time I want," Aguero muttered, but she was already slipping into her own room.

Despite his words, he wasn't willing to risk a pissed-off Endorsi, so he was quick to change and step back out into the hall. This time, he was faster than she was, but it didn't take more than a minute for her to join him.

"So much for running late," Aguero said with no venom.

"Don't be an ass," Endorsi replied mildly. "Come on."

Luckily for both of them, the restaurant wasn't too far from the spa, and they reached it in only a few minutes without any true rush.

Waiting outside was Isu, who lit up as he saw them coming. "Endorsi! Khun my love! You made it!"

"Of course we did," Endorsi scoffed. "Did you think I wouldn't be able to get this asshole to come along?"

"It's not too late for me to go back," Aguero retorted. "I don't have to put up with any of you."

"I'll send Bam a message right now," Endorsi threatened, calling up her pocket.

"As soon as today's over, you'd better watch your back." Aguero didn't mean it— especially given how much useless work it would be to actually get revenge— but he was hardly going to admit that when Endorsi had already been right about far too much that day. He brushed past the two of them to walk inside.

Once there, it was easy to see which table they'd reserved, given how much Rak stood out even in his compressed form, with Mad Shocker strapped to his back and reaching far above the crowd. He heard Endorsi and Isu entering behind him but ignored them, weaving between tables to reach the rest of his team.

"How the hell did they let you keep that?" he questioned as he took one of the three open seats. "I'm surprised enough that they allowed pets."

"Your great leader will let that slide this time, Blue Turtle," Rak snorted, and Aguero couldn't help his snicker.

"Don't say that," Endorsi said as she sat down. "It'll go straight to his head."

"We definitely don't need Earrings getting any more arrogant," Hatz added, shooting Aguero a flat look.

This, at least, was more comfortable territory. Aguero smirked back at him. "At least in my case, it's deserved," he said. "You've got nothing going for you, stupid swordsman."

"Shut up," Hatz snapped. "Just hearing your voice is making me nauseous."

Aguero could only laugh in response, even as something warm began to swell in his chest. After the celebration last year, Aguero wasn't sure what he had expected, but it wasn't this odd sense of comfort; an unspoken promise that even after the scene he'd made, his friends wouldn't treat him differently.


Even hours after returning back to the rented house, the languorous ease from the spa trip lingered in Aguero's limbs, leaving him pleasantly relaxed through his afternoon work and a dinner shared with his team.

It was when he was alone in his room again, going through his nighttime routine, that he heard one of his lighthouse alarms ping. The sound was not one of emergency, but simply someone known entering his room, so Aguero took the time to spit out his toothpaste and rinse off his toothbrush before making his way out of the bathroom.

"Khun!"

His heart skipped a beat, stopping him short in the threshold between the bathroom and bedroom. "Bam?"

In an instant, Bam was on him, his hands cupping Aguero's cheeks as he pressed their lips together. He broke off a second later, face screwing up in distaste. "Did you just brush your teeth?" he accused, his voice making it clear what an affront he considered that fact.

A giddy laugh bubbled out of Aguero, one that he couldn't keep back. "I do that every night, Bam," he said, moving to kiss him again.

Though Bam made a dissatisfied sound, he didn't pull away from the kiss until Aguero did. Finally, Aguero took him in, frowning slightly at the soot smeared across his face. Despite that, Bam was grinning widely, golden eyes bright.

"I'm so glad I made it," Bam breathed, bumping their foreheads together. After the first impact, he bumped him again, a little harder this time. "I was so worried I'd miss your birthday this year."

"You don't have to," Aguero said automatically, and Bam pouted at him.

"I didn't want to miss it," he emphasized, the pout quickly melting away again. "Did you have fun today? Endorsi showed me the reservations she was making, and I thought it would be something you liked."

"I did," Aguero admitted— under Bam's warm smile, he could hardly do anything else. "Now why don't you go get cleaned up, and I'll tell you about it before we go to bed."

Notes:

thanks for reading!!

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