Chapter Text
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Rudeus
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Well. Fuck.
Eris is still gone. Not too sure what I was hoping for after waiting around for so long. Took some time to actually get over myself and remember that I still had to look for Zenith. You know, my actual mother? Jeez. Oh who am I kidding. I am one hell of a fresh mess. Still, the fact remains I got to keep moving. Paul, Aisha, Norn, heck, even Lilia are all counting on me. I promised Paul that I would start looking as soon as my promise to Eris was all done and dusted.
I just...
Did not think things would end that way. Out of every worst case scenario I had ever come up with? That was definitely not on the list of them. Left in the middle of the night… after having sex with someone you thought cared about you… who you wanted to spend your life with…
God, I really got to stop thinking about it. She's gone. I need to accept that. The more I think about it, the more it is going to hurt me. Heartbreak is nothing new. In my last world and this one. I promised myself I would live my life to the fullest.
Pain was part of that promise. Can't give up at the first stumble. Just had to keep moving, keep living, keep searching for Zenith. I had to do something to get out of this funk.
My best guess, and probably the safest guess given what Paul told me about his own search back in Milis, is that the Northern Kingdoms and Begaritt are the two places left to be checked. Given where I am? the north is the best bet. Hopefully Paul figures that out too if the search in Milis turns up dry.
Still... No. No not now. Keep moving Rudeus. Keep your feet moving.
I had some ground to cover before I made it to the Upper Jaw of the Red Wyrm mountain range. Maybe a month or two. Can't really tell.
Just got to take it one day at a time I suppose.
Hard to say for certain how much more ground I’ll have to cover. Just time. It’s new for me. First time I’m truly going solo… kinda sad to think about that. A new experience? Feeling sad? To me? God that’s new… pathetic…
Alright that’s enough of that nonsense.
She’s gone. That’s it. Gotta focus on finding Zenith. Question is where… If she DID end up in the north, where would she be? What would she be doing?
Can see why Paul started to think about the worst case scenarios… I’d like to think that some word would get out by this point. It’s been nearly three years right? Surely some news from Zenith would’ve came out… just something by this point. A hint at the very least!
Yeah.
Makes sense why Paul turned to booze. Probably explains why he got so pissed at me when I came back acting like everything was fine.
Oh well.
Just gotta keep going north. I’m still in the Asuran Kingdom, probably got some more weeks until I reach the mountains.
At least I’m out of Fittoa…
What happened with Eris aside…
It’s just hard to look at. Ruined villages, refugees everywhere. Even the vegetation is all messed up. Some people managed to get some wheat planted but…
It’s just depressing to look at.
Definitely won’t help with my whole situation. Keep moving, keep looking, distract myself with some quests.
Huh.
That actually might work. If I get famous, maybe Zenith could hear about me and come to me, rather than me turning the whole of the Northern Kingdoms upside down.
Yeah.
That can work. I can make that work, definitely, should not be too hard right?
Just got to get myself to the north first. But… forming a plan will help. Can’t hurt right?
Yeah.
The more I think about other things, the less I think about… that.
Gotta find Zenith.
That’s it. That’s all I have to think about.
Keep it together Rudeus… Keep it together…
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More miles down, more miles to go. One step at a time, one day at a time, and repeat.
Nothing to keep me company but my own thoughts. For someone who spent a whole past life like that? I thought I’d be used to it.
Guess not.
I don’t know, I assume it’s because I haven’t been a total loser in this life. Well, up until this point I suppose. I always had someone to talk to, so silence is just… strange.
I should find a party to join soon…
Would rather not be socially isolated or insane by the time I find Zenith. Definitely wouldn’t be a good sight for a mother. Her prodigy son? Losing his marbles? Definitely not a pretty sight.
Still…
I assume that meeting would still be a lot better than my first chat with Paul.
Right?
Damn it Rudeus.
Don’t go there.
Just keep walking.
God I’m pathetic.
Focus… Focus…
Normal stuff. Yeah, I can focus on that. I have a lot of normal stuff to think about right?
Even if the scenery isn’t too pretty. I’m definitely no longer in the Fittoa region by this point, but by the looks of it all, bandits and the like sure took advantage of the chaos the Mass Displacement caused.
Every village I pass by? Is matched by another that was looted, attacked, or otherwise burnt to the ground. My best guess is that the major houses, maybe even the royals as a whole, paid too much attention to the Mass Teleportation, allowing any scumbag to take advantage of the diverted attention.
Either that?
Or the Asura Kingdom just had a bigger bandit problem than I had expected. Maybe Buena Village was just the one peaceful village out of the whole bunch.
Maybe I’ll ask Paul one day. Once we find Zenith.
Though… the raises a whole different kind of problem. Buena village was gone. So was my childhood home, Paul and Zeniths home. What happens after Zenith is found? From what Paul said, he dropped basically any and all funds he had into the search team.
Asking the Notos house for help was definitely a no go. So what? Does Paul go back to adventuring? He’s still relatively young. I’ve made a decent chunk of change myself.
But then where do we live?
Asura? Milis? So many questions.
Plus there’s also the issue of actual communication. If I find Zenith, I’ll probably go to Paul. I know he’s in Milis, and I know he’s in contact with Zeniths side of the family.
But if Paul finds her?
He would have no clue where to find me. The Northern Kingdoms are rather big—
My thoughts were swiftly interrupted by a cry. Not the cry of an animal or a monster, but… a cry of something smaller.
I looked around for a moment, I’ve been lost in my own head for a good hour or so. After a moment, I realized that I was in one of the many burnt out and raided villages I’ve noticed from before. But it seemed that whatever raid caused this damage was recent.
Rather recent.
Couldn’t have happened more than a day or two ago. After figuring that much out, I started to search for the source of the crying.
I probably looked like a mad man. One second I thought I was getting closer, only to notice that the crying was getting further away.
But…
I kept moving.
Wasn’t lost in my thoughts or anything.
It was odd. Felt like I had some kind of tangible goal in front of me.
Even if the situation was more than just a little morbid. Pretty sure at one point I was smiling? Thank whatever god this place had, minus that pixel-faced prick who decided to stop giving me advice at the worst possible moment, I was alone, else I really would appear insane.
But it all came to a stop when it happened.
I peeled off a layer of rubble and found the source of the noise. Or rather, the source of the crying.
A little girl.
She was human, really young too, probably not even three years old. Maybe two and a half? She kinda looked like Zenith actually. Blonde hair and blue eyes. I guess that comparison doesn’t really work aside from the surface level comparisons.
Can’t really blame myself, not like I had much to work on.
“Hey there…”
Honestly I had no clue how to approach this situation. Best guess is that I am currently holding an orphaned girl.
Sure, way back when I was like seven or eight I could comfort Norn and Aisha, but I managed that by mimicking what I did in my past life with my other siblings, this is totally different.
The kid fussed a little, and honestly I couldn’t blame her, who knew how long she’s been in this mess. I used my magic to cobble together a cup and filled it with water.
“Easy now… This’ll help”
I got myself comfortable.
What was the rule again? Ah right, Dead End never leaves a kid behind. Even if that party is basically dead now…
Focus!
Kid! She needs help!
Hmmmm…
What DO I do with her?
I’m not exactly father material.
What am I? Thirteen? Probably the only metric I can work off of. The other thirty-four from my past life didn’t exactly give me much respect for responsibility. If anything my past life was the exact opposite.
But…
Orphanages in this world are… few and far between. Plus, child slavery seems way too common in this world for me to be comfortable leaving this one at an orphanage… or in the care of anyone else.
Well. Shoot.
“Guess… Guess you’re gonna be hitching a ride with me kid… Let’s home we can find your extended family… or something…”
My hopes weren’t exactly high for that.
Honestly hope as a whole for me wasn’t exactly high in the first place.
But…
Guess I’m not gonna be wandering around alone anymore. Least she won’t starve here, or be forced into slavery if some less reputable person was the one whom would’ve found her.
“Hmmm… Well it’s not like you have a name tag on you… What do I call you…”
I sat back, keeping the kid in my arms as I thought… oh jeez… walking definitely isn’t in the cards for her… and I’m gonna need my arms free just in case we run into trouble…
Alright.
May as well set up camp here while I figure… all of that shit out.
Starting a fire and making a small, makeshift tent wasn’t the hardest thing in the world, the real issue was the questions that came after. How the heck was I gonna keep going with this kid with me.
I wasn’t gonna abandon her, or trust anyone else with her… unless I bumped into Ruijerd, but I doubted that would happen.
And I still needed a name for her.
She was thankfully asleep now.
The water seemed to have helped her, problem would be when she woke up. Was she still feeding from breast milk? Would I need to find a wet nurse? Did this world have formula?
So many questions.
So little answers.
I just dug myself one hell of a metaphorical grave. At least I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself over Eris at least. Well… maybe a little bit. But not as badly at least.
Hmmm…
Oh. I need I got something for the girl at least!
“Let’s go with… Louise. I’ll call you Lou for short”
Maybe it was just my imagination…
But I think she smiled at that in her sleep.
Huh.
Odd.
I found myself smiling too
Heh. Guess I have to apologize to Paul for smiling like a moron back when I was a kid. I kind of get it now. It’s nice.
Sure some things still hurt but…
Something about her smile was… nice to see. Made me feel… good.
Alright alright.
Calm it down.
It’s gonna be a hard road. But i suppose little moments like this are nice to have every now and then. Especially when things get rough.
“Rest up Lou… We got a long road ahead of us…”
Maybe I should…
Make some sort of baby carrier thing?
Something to keep her close to my chest.
Could bundle her up in my cloak once we make it to the north. It’ll get cold… wouldn’t want her getting sick or anything…
Just hope nothing goes wrong.
I’ll just keep it at that. Hopefully I can find a merchant caravan or something. That’ll keep things in check for the both of us.
Yeah.
A merchant caravan sounds nice right about now.
It would be nice…
Would be comfortable for me and Lou…
Could keep her warm that way…
Yeah.
She deserves that.
She deserves to be warm at the very least…
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