Work Text:
Please say you're haunting me, ghost
I'm begging your fire to burn us both
Of the thousand things I've lost in life
You should know it's you I miss the most
That hat of yours lies now in state
No one to wear it so it's worn by your grave
I suppose you chose the beads as homage
Now a memorial is all that remains
Sometimes I'm scared the fire I aspire to will burn brighter than you
I know you (knew you) well enough to guess you'd never get why your legacy is something I'd choose
But I couldn't stand erasing you like that, displacing and defacing the memory of what you were to me
Overwriting what little I have left of you is the worst thing I could ever do
I have to remember you
There's so few left who really do
I almost didn't. I can't forgive it. I don't deserve this but please
Give me this piece of you to hold on to
Fire used to scare me, did you know? I had to let that go for this
It burned me, you see, to nothing; a ghost, a spectre, a will o' the wisp
Does that make your death my resurrection? Would you think my revival worth the price of its inception?
Maybe you would. I don't. If your life was the price for mine, there's no trade on this earth I'd want less
Dauntlessness was always your mask
You never ran from anything no matter who asked
I wish you had
Maybe then I'd have you as more than just another lost part of the past
Past the what-ifs and would-haves, here is where we stand:
A grave upon which rests a beaded necklace and cowboy hat
Your blood in my mouth in the form of the half-eaten fruit in my hand
Three sakazuki cups for the two of us left
Me missing you, and you gone and dead