Chapter Text
Seungkwan
Mingyu was avoiding him.
Seungkwan hadn’t been entirely sure that was the case, but he had been extra squirrely after their concert that night, only heart reacting to his message telling him thanks for the night before, both of which were pretty explainable - Mingyu got nervous the night before a flight, and he was extra careful with Seungkwan always, so the heart reaction was probably his way of not wanting to overstep.
Sometimes Seungkwan wished he would overstep.
He wanted it so bad at times, but at the same time, he was incredibly thankful that he knew Mingyu never would do that. It was why he wanted him in the first place. Seungkwan knew things would only ever go at the pace he set because of who Mingyu was as a person, as an alpha. He didn’t know what to call that duality of frustration and relief. He wasn’t sure there was a name for it.
Mingyu avoiding him was confirmed when Hansol sat down next to him on their flight, taking the seat Seungkwan was positive was supposed to be Mingyu’s.
“Hao wanted to show Mingyu some stuff he’s been working on.” Hansol explained as he sat down, pulling out his iPad and headphones from the new black Balenciaga backpack he’d been carrying recently.
Seungkwan hummed, acknowledging Hansol’s explanation, but at the shy, almost guilty look Mingyu gave him as he glanced back from a few rows diagonally in front of them, he knew what was happening.
He had a good hunch as to why it was happening, too.
Mingyu had tried to feed him. From his hand. On stage.
Seungkwan had panicked a little bit, in the moment, and regretted it as soon as he shook his head and watched Mingyu’s face fall too quickly to be caught on camera, but noticeable to him.
It was so instinctual for Mingyu to offer and he knew it hadn’t been like he was offering like that, Mingyu might be clumsy, but he would never do something like that on stage if those intentions had been behind it. It was completely innocent. But the fact that in that moment, given how they had spent the night before, how Seungkwan had allowed him to do something else equally as intimate and traditional in regards to their secondary gender roles, the fact was that both of them felt like Mingyu offering him food in that way was indeed exactly that second thing it could have been. Could be. If Seungkwan ever let himself get there.
He slumped over onto Hansol’s bony shoulder, watching the blurry red and yellow shapes of The Incredibles flash by on the iPad screen as he fell asleep, breathing in clean laundry and imagining it was sandalwood and cardamom instead.
It’s a fast turnaround with only a day for a quick meeting about his and Seokmin’s upcoming album release before they’re packing up again and heading to Tokyo this time. This tour has been hard on all of them so far. More concerts in Japan than all of the United States, which was a little out of the ordinary, and the three concerts for nearly every stop definitely wasn’t easy on any of their bodies or voices. He didn’t have it as bad as Joshua or Minghao who have both been sick, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t exhausted. Even Junhui, king of stamina, their very own Energizer Bunny, was showing signs of exhaustion. Everyone was always prepared to skip and delay their heats and ruts with the use of their suppressants, but that, too, took its toll on their bodies. Seungkwan’s was already overdue but he would continue to delay it until their break between Tokyo and Fukuoka. He probably should wait until the tour was over entirely, but he knew from experience that if he got too exhausted, he could have a breakthrough heat even with the suppressants and he didn’t want to risk that happening. Plus, it would be so close to Christmas then and he always needed a few days to recover afterwards and then after Christmas he would have unit promotions with Seokmin before their album dropped.
He had been considering asking Mingyu to help him through his heat this time. Maybe not with everything, but every time he’s thought about it recently, it’s like his omega practically purrs with the thought. Part of him hated those more basal instincts that he felt he had no control over. He hated how a lot of people treated omegas, how they were portrayed in most media, and the limitations that were put onto him because of his secondary gender. He had hated alphas for a long time after what had happened to him. And it was a very tough pill to swallow to accept that there was a part of him that wanted to be taken care of by one. As he learned to love himself more and more, he was starting to be less afraid of that fact. Mingyu being, well, Mingyu, made it easier to accept.
But they still hadn’t talked about Osaka.
He knew Mingyu was probably waiting for him to reach out and after he spent the entire concert with his eyes trailing after the man, then found himself pouting on his bed, scrolling endlessly through Twitter, not even able to cheer himself up with Wonder Girls as he wallowed in his self-imposed misery, he decided to stop being a baby and put an end to it. Well, his stomach growled so loudly that Joshua texted from their shared wall and asked if he was good, so maybe he had more than one intention by texting Mingyu.
Boo 🐻
have you eaten yet?
joshua hyung just heard my stomach growl through the wall
mingoo-hyung
Hahahaha
Room service?
Boo 🐻
yes pls
come to my room?
He was pacing around his bed as he texted and hadn’t realized he had started building a nest subconsciously.
“Oh, Boo. You dummy.” He chastised himself, hands on his hips as he stared at the pile of clothes around the border of the bed. He considered tearing it apart, but there was a knock on the door, so he hastily tossed the blanket he (always) brought with him on top of it and hoped Mingyu would spare him and just ignore it.
He opened the door and stopped himself from pulling Mingyu into a hug as soon as the first hint of sandalwood hit his nose.
“Hi, hyung.” He breathed, swallowing a giggle as he watched Mingyu run a hand through his fluffy, freshly dried hair, pink dusting the top of his tan cheeks. He was gaping at Seungkwan a little and it took him a second to figure out why, exactly.
“Hey, Kwan-ah.” Mingyu’s voice rasped, “Um, nice sweatshirt.” His lisp always got more pronounced when he was nervous or tired, one of the many charming things about the man, so Seungkwan thought.
Seungkwan glanced down and sure enough, he was wearing not his Nana Tour sweatshirt, but Mingyu’s. He must have packed it by accident.
“Oh. Um.” He reached down to unzip it, “Here, sorry, you can have-”
“No!” Mingyu reached out to stop him, hands pausing before touching Seungkwan’s own, “No, you’re fine. Wear it, please.”
Silly, possessive alphas, Seungkwan thought to himself as he shook his head, completely amused. He plopped himself down onto the couch in the little living room area of the hotel room, patting the cushion next to him. Mingyu sat delicately, making himself appear much smaller than he was in reality.
“Pizza, hyung?” Seungkwan asked, handing him the cordless hotel phone and a room service menu. “I know we’re in Japan but…”
“Sounds good.” Mingyu smiled at him, taking the phone, seemingly happy to have a task to do.
He ordered as Seungkwan found a movie to watch, choosing a cheesy romance he’d seen a thousand times, or at least enough to understand it despite it being dubbed in Japanese.
“Myungho’s project came together really well.” He started making (a very poorly veiled attempt at) small talk as they waited on their food.
“It did, he should be really proud.” Mingyu nodded, agreeing.
“That’s what he was showing you on the plane home the other day, right?” Seungkwan was maybe being a little petty. Sue him.
“Hm? Oh. Yeah, he had a fully edited clip they sent him that he wanted my opinion on.” Mingyu was still not fully committed to making eye contact.
Seungkwan sat still, waiting for the other man to crack, which he knew would happen soon. He just wanted Mingyu to admit he was acting weird. He deserved that at least. Probably. Maybe he was just a bit of a bitch sometimes, he didn’t really know.
Mingyu sighed, then fixed Seungkwan with big puppy eyes and he felt his resolve crack before Mingyu could even speak. “Hyung, it’s okay.”
“I’m sorry.” Mingyu admitted, “I didn’t mean to avoid you. Or let it go on this long. I was really just trying to give you some space after I… after I overstepped like that.”
Seungkwan shook his head, “You weren’t overstepping, hyung. I know you didn’t mean it like that. I felt bad for shutting you down, it just surprised me.”
“I’m sorry.” Mingyu said again, laying his hand on the cushion beside them, offering for Seungkwan to take if he wanted to.
Seungkwan took his hand, letting their fingers intertwine loosely. It was completely chaste, hand holding being something all of them did regularly, something not even the most territorial alpha (Seungcheol) could raise an eyebrow about. “No more apologizing, Gyu.”
“Thank you.” Mingyu smiled at him sweetly before they both directed their attention back to the TV.
The pizza arrived soon and Seungkwan was glad they had cleared the air before it got there so he could properly enjoy it. They were on their second piece when Seungkwan could practically see a thought brewing behind Mingyu’s eyes, despite the easy, lighthearted nature of their conversation.
“You’re too easy to read, hyung.” Seungkwan shoved his arm lightly, “What’s on your mind?”
Mingyu pouted, “Maybe you’re just too good at reading.” He whined around a mouthful of pizza, swallowing before continuing in a less petulant tone, “Earlier you said it wasn’t overstepping.” He waited for Seungkwan to nod before continuing, “What did you… mean by that?”
Seungkwan took another bite and chewed it slowly while he decided how to answer, “I really despise a lot about being an omega sometimes.” He admitted, following up quickly as he saw Mingyu frown, “I’m trying to learn to accept myself more and it’s impossible to ignore that some things do just naturally appeal to me. I spent so much time after, y’know, um, just trying to make this part of myself go away. To ignore it. I never built nests, not even when in heat. And I always spent those alone, as I’m sure everyone knows. But I started therapy a while back and it’s helping. I’m starting to let myself just be. So, yeah. I don’t hate the idea of being taken care of in that way.” He took a drink of his water, studying the label rather than looking at Mingyu, “I maybe, um. Want it. Just not in front of the members and thousands of Carat.”
“I’m so proud of you, Seungkwan. You’re so brave.” Mingyu squeezed his shoulder briefly, “I can’t imagine what it’s like, trying to build back your self esteem after what happened to you. Feeling like you’re at war with your secondary gender, with yourself. You’re doing such a good job, loving yourself like you are. I hope you’re able to see that.”
Seungkwan blinked back the tears stinging his eyes. This was exactly why he could let himself be vulnerable with Mingyu. “Thank you, hyung.” He mustered up the courage and nearly blurted it out before he could stop himself, “Would you want to?”
Mingyu’s face lit up in surprise and barely contained excitement, “Would I want to feed you?”
Seungkwan nodded, “I knew I could trust you to scent me and you did so well. I know I can trust you with this, too.”
“I would love to, Boo.” He reached for a piece of pizza from the box.
Seungkwan’s heart rate picked up in excitement and something else, something deeper within seemed to rear its head, its ears pricking with interest.
Mingyu’s eyes were heavy, pupils were blown a little wide as he brought the piece to Seungkwan’s mouth. Seungkwan didn’t pull back and shake his head this time. This time, he opened his mouth and took a bite. His eyelids fluttered close and he felt Mingyu’s other hand come up to his cheek and wipe away a tear he didn’t realize had fallen.
“There we go, you’re okay.” Mingyu whispered, thumb still stroking his cheek as he swallowed and opened his eyes again.
“More?” He asked, not sure if he was really asking for more pizza or more soft touches and praise from the alpha beside him, but he knew the former was likely to bring the latter, so he let himself ask.
“Of course.” Mingyu obliged happily, taking his time as he let Seungkwan process after each bite until he’d finished the entire piece.
“Thank you, hyung.” Seungkwan had thankfully stopped crying, but was still feeling pretty raw after the whole experience, “I- I never thought I’d be able to let myself experience that.”
“You did so well, Seungkwan-ah. Thank you for letting me.” Mingyu’s hand was still on his cheek and he felt himself lean into its warmth. “That good, huh? You gonna invite me into that nest next?”
Seungkwan gasped at the jab, “Yah! You dick! You were supposed to ignore that, I didn’t even mean to build it.” He slapped Mingyu’s arm.
“Mhm, sure, it’s like the start of every bad porno, ‘Oh, alpha can you please feed me-’ Argh! Ah! Okay, okay!” Mingyu was on the floor, arms above his head to protect himself from Seungkwan’s pillow attack.
“I hate you.” Seungkwan pouted, “See if I ever ask anything from you again, you oaf.”
“Noooo, Seungkwannie, I’m sorry!” Mingyu wrapped him in a big back hug, begging for forgiveness, “Please don’t, I’m sorry, I love doing these things for you, please don’t stop asking. It was a bad joke, it won’t happen again.”
Seungkwan gave a long, dramatic sigh, “You’re on thin ice, Kim Mingyu.”
“Thin ice is better than drowning in icy water, I’ll take what I can get.” Mingyu squeezed him again before letting go.
They sat back down to finish their pizza and Seungkwan would never admit it, but he was grateful to Mingyu for breaking the tension earlier. He would have been embarrassed about crying otherwise and the mood would have been weird, but now instead it was back to being comfortable and easy between them.
They talked long past when the pizza was gone and the table was cleaned up, finding themselves back on the couch, music playing quietly on Mingyu’s phone as they talked until they were both fighting through yawns in every other sentence.
“I should go, let you get some rest.” Mingyu unfurled his legs out from underneath himself.
“You- um. You can stay. If you want.” Seungkwan offered.
“I was joking earlier, you don’t have to invite me into your nest just because I fed you, Seungkwan-ah.” Mingyu’s brow furrowed like he was surprised Seungkwan was under such an impression.
“No, that’s not- I know I don’t have to. And you don’t have to if you don’t want to, it’s okay, really, I just thought it would be. Um. Nice. That’s all.” Seungkwan rushed through that admission like if he fast-forwarded through the moment, maybe he could avoid feeling embarrassed about it.
“Oh!” Mingyu seemed genuinely shocked that he was serious about the offer, course correcting quickly, “Oh, okay, yes, of course. I’d be happy to. I’d love to.”
“Okay.” Seungkwan said quietly. “I’m gonna brush my teeth, there’s a spare toothbrush in here, I think.” He offered it like Mingyu’s room wasn’t literally across the hall from his, but he got the feeling that neither of them wanted to part from each other any time soon.
“Thank you.” Mingyu smiled as he followed Seungkwan into the bathroom.
More and more, things felt different between them. Before Seungkwan had started working on himself and through some of his trauma, he would have run away from these tendencies to gravitate towards Mingyu like they were an avalanche that he could easily get crushed underneath if he didn’t get away fast enough. But recently it felt more like he was standing outside on a quiet night, waiting on the first snow of the season. Sure, it was cold and the flakes might sting his cheeks when they landed, but they would melt and they wouldn’t take away from the beauty of the sight as he watched the world around him turn white.
He invited Mingyu into his nest and the avalanche didn’t fall. He didn’t even get frostbite from the cold. No, he had a warm body underneath him that smelled of minty toothpaste and underneath that, a warm, pleasant, almost smoky sandalwood, cardamom, and the barest hint of vanilla. The last of which, Seungkwan was starting to think was a note to Mingyu’s scent that he could safely start associating with contentment in relation to his proximity.
That knowledge gave him the last burst of courage of the night, hiding his face in Mingyu’s neck in lieu of making eye contact as he admitted, “I’ve been thinking maybe I don’t want to spend my heat alone this time.”
The vanilla undertone grew slightly stronger before Mingyu replied, “Oh, wow, Seungkwan, that’s a big deal.”
“I don’t know if I’d want you to like fuck me or anything. But maybe having you there would be nice. I know even just having an alpha around can make them easier and this next one is bound to be bad since I’ve had to suppress it longer than normal for this tour.” He felt himself rambling but couldn’t stop it.
“You- you’d want me?” Mingyu stammered.
Seungkwan couldn’t help but laugh fondly, “Who else, Mingyu-yah?”
“I don’t know.” He whined and Seungkwan could almost hear the pout on his face, “Be nice, my alpha brain is trying really hard not to run haywire right now.”
“You poor baby.” Seungkwan mocked lightheartedly, “Think about it, okay? I’m timing it for when we get back to Seoul, before Fukuoka.”
“Don’t need to think about it, Seungkwan-ah.” Mingyu answered immediately, stroking Seungkwan’s back softly, an action he had no idea how much Seungkwan had grown to love and find comfort in. “Of course I’ll be there for you. I’ll help any way you ask me to.”
“Think you can keep your grubby little paws off of me if that’s what I need?” Seungkwan teased.
Mingyu scoffed, a little offended, “I would never touch you without permission, especially not in that state. Don’t even joke about that, Boo.”
“I know,” Seungkwan reassured him, “I know you wouldn’t, Mingyu. That’s why I’m asking you and not someone else. No one else.”
Mingyu’s scent grew stronger very briefly before he reeled it back in. Seungkwan thought he probably was under the impression that he couldn’t tell when he did that, which was cute. He liked the little tells, and he liked even more how it evidenced just how skilled Mingyu had gotten at controlling himself, all for Seungkwan’s sake. It was something he wasn’t sure he could ever properly show him appreciation for. But part of him knew that letting him in, being vulnerable and open with him, to experience these firsts with him, was a reward in and of itself for Mingyu.
“Thank you.” Mingyu sighed, body going slack again under Seungkwan’s weight.
“Goodnight, Gyu.” Seungkwan yawned, curling into the alpha’s pleasant warmth and pulling him closer, looking forward to the solid rest he was fully expecting to get.
“G’night, Boo.” Mingyu mumbled sleepily in reply.
What he didn’t expect was to wake up the next morning running hotter than normal, with a low, burning ache in his abdomen.
Something else, besides exhaustion or stress, that can trigger an earlier heat than normal is extended time with an alpha.
His suppressants weren’t strong enough.
He was in pre-heat.
Mingyu
“Emergency suppressants.” Seungkwan groaned as he directed Mingyu to search through his bathroom bag, “And the pain killers, please.”
“Um.” Mingyu popped his head out from around the corner of the bathroom doorway, “I’ve got the Ibuprofen, but the packet in the suppressants box is empty, Kwan-ah.”
“What?” Mingyu watched his face fall as a realization hit him, “Fuck. Yeah. I forgot I took it. Can you text Minghao and Joshua and ask if they have any, please?”
Mingyu assumed he meant back in Osaka. Sleeping next to an alpha for the first time probably threatened him entering pre-heat like it was now, except this was definitely more aggressive. He tried his best to be quick and efficient, smart enough to ask Joshua (who thankfully was always reliably over-prepared and happy to share) to bring him the pill rather than going to get it himself and leave Seungkwan alone, even if it would be brief.
Mingyu was also smart enough to keep his scent close, very aware of how easily he could fully trigger Seungkwan’s heat if he disturbed the peace any more than he already had just by being there.
The pills both seemed to kick in after a half an hour or so, and after a cold shower and a concerningly large iced americano that Mingyu convinced one of their managers to bring up, Seungkwan said he felt almost back to normal, at least for the time being. Mingyu knew he was in for a long day, but they weren’t in danger of him having to sit out the concert, which was good.
Mingyu was honestly probably a little too clingy throughout the day. He hovered around Seungkwan, making sure he was hydrated and fed, and kept a couple little blister packs of pain killers in his pants pocket just in case. He traded hair and makeup call times with Chan, who was in a foul mood but ultimately agreed after griping about it a little, so that he could go at the same time as Seungkwan and they could get ready together.
Seungkwan was a lot less talkative than he was made out to be on camera. He could really turn that side of himself on for appearances, but when it was “off”, he was far more contemplative and much preferred to listen. Mingyu caught himself yapping somewhat endlessly at one point and apologized, but Seungkwan shook his head (earning a frown and disapproving noise from the makeup noona who was trying to fill in his eyebrows), “I like hearing you talk, it’s a good distraction.”
Mingyu beamed (earning a frown and disapproving noise from his makeup noona who was trying to dab on some lip tint), “Okay then let me tell you about how Ferrari has failed both drivers all season.”
Seungkwan chuckled, “I love how you say you’re a Ferrari fan but all I hear is you criticizing them.”
Mingyu laughed, “Yeah, that’s like the textbook definition of what being their fan is like. It’s very frustrating, Seungkwan. If I ever get you into F1 please choose a different team, it’s really not worth the heartache.”
“When they add a ball sport element into F1, then we’ll talk.” Seungkwan bargained.
Mingyu opened his mouth to retort, but was cut off by an outburst in the dressing room next door.
“I said leave me alone!” Chan shouted, his voice was rough, clearly distressed. He appeared around the corner a few seconds later, sweat dotting his brow, which was creased in frustration.
Seokmin followed him, “Chan-ah, I know what I’m talking about, please just listen.”
Joshua looked up from his phone where he was sitting on the couch and assessed the situation before speaking, “Kyeom, can you go grab us something to drink please?” He waited for Seokmin to take a deep breath and nod before looking at Chan, whose head was hanging like he was ready for a scolding, “Channie, c’mere.” Joshua patted the couch beside him. “He’s right, you know. I know it’s frustrating, and I’m sure he could have gone about it in a better way, but you are going into pre-rut, sweetheart. We can all tell.”
Chan let out a high whine as he slouched back onto the couch, “I don’t want to, though. It sucks. I hate it, why can’t the suppressants just fucking work?”
“Sometimes biology is stronger than medicine. It does suck.” Joshua soothed, pulling Chan into a hug. Soon, the smell of cashmere and amber filled the room. Chan had the wherewithal to not reciprocate Joshua scenting him. The members didn’t exactly know the extent as to why Seungkwan needed the alphas to be more cognizant and careful of themselves, but they did their best to be respectful about it, which Mingyu was thankful for, and he knew Seungkwan was, too. He was glad the group trusted one another enough to not need the whole story in order to take Seungkwan’s sensitivity seriously.
Mingyu noticed Jun, who had been doing a poor job acting like he wasn’t invested in the goings-on of the room, stiffen in his seat, stand up, and walk out of the room.
Whatever that was about.
The hair and makeup noonas finally released them and Mingyu glanced over at Seungkwan, finding him seemingly deep in thought.
“Wanna go get some fresh air?” He asked quietly as they stood to let Seungcheol and Minghao take their seats.
Seungkwan nodded and they made their promises to the hair and makeup noonas that they wouldn’t mess up their hard work before exiting out the back door to a little partially hidden balcony.
“I hate shouting.” Seungkwan said after taking a shuddering deep breath of the chill, fresh air. “I mean, I know I can be loud and it’s okay when we’re all having fun, but I don’t know, it’s just-”
Mingyu reached up to stroke Seungkwan’s back, “You don’t have to explain, I know what you mean.”
“I know Chan is still learning, I mean he presented kinda late, and I think he and Soonyoung were… something.”
“They were definitely something.” Mingyu agreed with a huff of laughter, “At the very least they were spending heats and ruts together.”
“Aish, no wonder Chan is in such a foul mood. This will be his first without Soonyoung, huh?” Seungkwan realized at the same time as Mingyu.
“Our poor baby. That won’t be any fun for him.” Mingyu lamented.
“Do you think he’ll have to spend it alone?” Seungkwan asked, peering up at Mingyu with a furrowed brow.
“Unless Minghao or… Oh.”
“Joshua.” Seungkwan finished.
“That’s why Jun was weird.” Mingyu filled in the gaps for himself.
Seungkwan laughed, “Our group could not get messier if it tried.”
Mingyu shook his head, “Ah, well. At least it’s entertaining sometimes.”
“‘Entertaining’ is being extremely generous.” Seungkwan scoffed. He fiddled with the hem of his shirt for a second, before looking back up at Mingyu, “Have you- um. I mean what’s it like- nevermind.”
“No, ask me.” Mingyu prompted.
“Have you spent your rut with an omega before?” Seungkwan all but blurted out.
Mingyu felt his ears and cheeks go red, “Oh. Um. No. I mainly ride them out alone or sometimes with Wonwoo but it’s not like he can take a knot anyways, but it did still help, don’t get me wrong. It definitely made them shorter. But uh, no. I had a really bad one once, and Wonwoo called Jeonghan but I didn’t end up taking him up on it. He just uh… talked me through some of it on the phone. I couldn’t look him or Seungcheol in the eye for like a whole month afterwards.”
Seungkwan covered his mouth as he giggled, a habit of his that Mingyu found endlessly endearing. “Oh god, I can’t imagine.”
“Yeah, I won’t be recommending that one to Chan. He’s in much better hands with Shua-hyung.” Mingyu concluded.
Seungkwan looked like he wanted to ask more but they were interrupted by a somewhat frantic looking staff member who informed them that soundcheck would be starting in five minutes, so they left it at that for now.
Mingyu tampered down the flames that had been reignited by the question, willing himself to chill the fuck out. There was no way Seungkwan would actually want to spend his next rut with him. Asking Mingyu to be there for his heat was one thing. He could be of help in lots of ways for that. But an alpha in rut was a completely different story. If someone else was in the room, it would be for sex. No other way around it.
They all managed to survive the concert. It wouldn’t be obvious to anyone in the audience because they were professionals and all wore scent blockers and knew how to smile through a whole world of discomfort, but the truth was, all of their hormones were way out of wack, and they really needed to get home.
Mingyu and Seungkwan spent a restless night apart, too wary of fully triggering Seungkwan’s heat while they were still in Tokyo to be willing to risk sleeping in the same bed again.
Instead, Mingyu texted Minghao and Jun and asked for advice (apologizing before asking the very invasive questions) on how to help an omega through their heat, emphasizing that sex very well may not be on the table. The men were very kind about it, which he wouldn’t expect otherwise, but was still grateful nonetheless, and gave him a list of supplies and groceries to get beforehand, which Mingyu took diligent notes on.
He packed his bags after his shower and changed into what he would wear to the airport in far fewer hours than he would like to think about and then finally managed to get a few hours of sleep, beyond exhausted, but slightly less worried about what lay ahead of him when they returned to Seoul.