Work Text:
Sunflower Orphanage
Kazuma Kiryu, Akira Nishikiyama, Yumi Sawamura and Yuko Nishikiyama sat huddled around a picture book. A group of kind Americans had donated a pile of books to the orphanage and all four of them had spent all week looking through them. There were western fairy-tales, stories about children going on adventures and simple picture books for the younger children. Yuko, the youngest out of the group, had become rather fixated on a book about Christmas and that was the book they were all reading together. They knew that Christmas was a western celebration that was never observed at the Sunflower, but the colourful pictures had all of them fascinated.
“Nii-chan, do you think they will let us have a Christmas party this year?” Yuko asked her brother, her eyes sparkling with excitement.
Nishiki patted her on the head.
“I doubt it. Those things cost money and….”
They looked around them. The negotiations to restore the roof was an ongoing conversation they were constantly overhearing and the cracks in the ceiling never looked more pronounced.
Yuko's face sank.
“Cheer up Yuko,” Yumi said. “I’m sure we can still have a fun time!”
“I just want to know what it’s like to have a proper Christmas party,” Yuko said sadly. She had always been a sickly child and didn’t get many opportunities to go on the various excursions the other children sometimes had. To make up for it, they often held themed celebrations within the orphanage so Yuko could join in as well.
“What are you reading?” a familiar voice called out.
“Kazama-san!”
Whenever he had a spare moment, Shintaro Kazama often visited the Sunflower orphanage. He was a captain in the Dojima Family and a well-known assassin in his youth, but his guilt followed him through the years. The Sunflower Orphanage was opened to house the children of the people he killed.
It was the least he could do to atone for his previous sins.
“Hello Yuko-chan,” he greeted her pleasantly.
Yuko appeared to be a little intimidated by Kazama, but Kiryu wasn’t.
“Kazama-san, Yuko was wondering if we could have a Christmas party this year,” he asked.
Kazama raised his eyebrows, his interest piqued.
“Oh? A Christmas party? What do you have in mind?” he asked animatedly.
Suddenly finding her courage, Yuko picked up the book and marched over to Kazama.
“We need a Christmas tree,” she said firmly. “And Christmas cake, and crackers with funny hats inside!”
The older man chuckled.
“Is that it? That’s easy,” he replied. “Is there anything else you would like?”
Yuko screwed her face up in concentration, wondering if there was anything she had forgotten.
“Presents.”
Everyone turned to look at Nishiki.
“Christmas is the time everyone exchanges presents,” he answered.
Out of every child that ended up in the orphanage, there were two boys he had his eye on, Kazuma Kiryu and Akira Nishikiyama. Kiryu, especially, had shown incredible leadership and initiative within the orphanage. Nishikiyama was a good kid too, loyal to a fault but there was just something missing within him, a spark that Kiryu had plenty of. In return, Nishiki provided a grounding influence on Kiryu, who was prone to the occasional hot-headed moment.
He hoped that both of them will continue to be a part of each other’s lives for a long time to come.
“I’m glad you’re all learning a lot from the books,” Kazama chuckled. “Alright, I’ll speak to the caretaker about organizing the Christmas party!”
The children cheered.
Over the next few days, many exciting packages were delivered to the orphanage. First up was the Christmas tree. It stood at two metres tall and also came with boxes of ornaments for the children to decorate the tree with. Yuko insisted on being the one to put the angel at the top of the tree, which they were able to accommodate with the help of a ladder. Kiryu and Nishiki wrapped the lights around the tree (after getting hopelessly tangled up in them) and by the evening the entire orphanage had well and truly gotten into the Christmas spirit.
But that wasn’t all. There were mysterious packages that arrived daily, each one addressed to individuals. The first one went to Kiryu, then the next one to Nishiki. Eventually, everyone at the orphanage had a package just for them which they placed under the tree, ready to open on Christmas morning. Kazama himself arrived after dinnertime on Christmas Eve, he was going to stay overnight so he could spend the next day celebrating with the children.
Just before bedtime, Yuko had one more question.
“Nii-chan, do you think Santa will come?”
Nishiki looked at his sister blankly.
“Santa? You mean that fat old guy with a beard?” he asked sharply. “Yuko, he’s not-”
“Santa has already been!” Yumi interrupted, covering Nishiki’s mouth so the rest of the sentence came out in a muffled grunt. “Where did you think those presents came from?”
Nishiki’s honesty was simultaneously his best and worst trait. It meant that it was really easy to figure out when he was lying but it also meant that he was always accidentally hurting the feelings of others. The girls at the orphanage found him rude but Nishiki didn’t seem to care, he often declared that he was happy being friends with just Yumi and Kiryu.
Kazama cleared his throat. He had been standing in the corridor watching that all unfold.
“It’s getting late, time to go to bed!” he announced. “The sooner we go to bed, the sooner Christmas will come!”
*
Yuko was the first one up on Christmas morning. She woke everyone up like a cyclone and soon everyone had their wrapped parcel in their hands. Kiryu and Nishiki opened their gifts at the same time and found identical watches, while Yumi got a makeup case for her ever-expanding collection of lipsticks.
Yuko opened her gift and her eyes lit up.
“Look, Nii-chan! Santa brought me a doll!”
Nishiki smiled; Yuko’s happiness was infectious and he was starting to enjoy himself too. Things got even more exciting later that night when the Christmas feast was set up: there was a huge turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy and an assortment of salads. Crackers were popped and flimsy hats handed around. Yuko scanned the table for cake and Kazama assured her that it would be served right after dinner.
With their bellies stuffed full of turkey and strawberry shortcake, Nishiki and Kiryu left the noisy dining room in the orphanage and found themselves in the front garden. Kiryu had a blue paper crown on his head and Nishiki had a yellow one. It was particularly cold that evening and they had rugged up with two jackets, although Nishiki was still feeling the chill. He folded his arms under his armpits and shivered, trying his best to warm himself up.
“Hey Nishiki,” Kiryu asked. “Is there anything else you'll like for Christmas? I should give you something.”
Nishiki wasn’t one to ask for material things. Now that he was older, toys no longer interested him and his needs have become a little more….physical.
“It would be nice to go somewhere together,” he finally said.
“Just you and I. Kyodai’s trip!”
“Huh?" Kiryu asked, looked taken aback. "What about Yuko and Yumi?”
“They’ll be fine,” Nishiki replied quickly. “C'mon, it'll be great! When have we ever gone somewhere alone together?”
Kiryu realized that he was right.
“Yeah, maybe,” he said thoughtfully. “Where do you want to go?”
“I've always wanted to go to Kamurocho,” Nishiki said excitedly.
Kiryu looked hesitant. He was expecting Nishiki to suggest a more age-appropriate location, like an onsen town in Hakone. Going to a place like Kamurocho was just asking for trouble.
“Kamurocho? Really?” he replied incredulously. “That place is a mess. Besides, we won’t be able to drink while we’re there."
A sly smile suddenly spread over Kiryu's face.
"Hang on, are you thinking of losing your virginity there?”
“No!” Nishiki sputtered, his face turning red. “I…I….I'm not interested in the women there, I just want to hang out with you!”
Kiryu guffawed.
“Geez, I was just kidding. But seriously, there’s nothing wrong with having those sorts of….desires.”
Nishiki didn’t need Kiryu to educate him about that, he had relieved those urges on his own countless times. When they first met as children, Nishiki thought he was the coolest kid he had ever met. But when they were teenagers he started to find himself gazing at Kiryu a little bit more than usual; his jawline was starting to look more rugged and he was starting to notice other physical changes when they showered together. Thoughts of Kiryu’s lean, muscular torso started to occupy his mind more often and his body often reacted strangely to them. Kiryu on the other hand, was starting to spend more time around Yumi. She had blossomed into a beautiful girl and the way Kiryu looked at her was starting to change too.
Nishiki was jealous; he wished Kiryu would look at him the same way as well.
“Oh? It’s snowing!”
Nishiki held his hand out, catching a single snowflake that immediately melted against the heat of his palm. He looked up as he felt fingers in his hair as Kiryu brushed a few more stray snowflakes away.
"Hehe, your hair is so long the snow is getting caught in it," Kiryu observed, a cheerful smile on his face.
Nishiki’s hand hesitated, the fleeting need rising within him to reach out and touch Kiryu’s face…
“Nishiki?”
It was Kazama. He had emerged from the house holding two steaming mugs in his hands and a pink paper crown on his head.
“Can I have a word? In private.”
Kiryu nodded and scooted off to rejoin the party inside. Once Kiryu was out of earshot, Kazama handed one of the mugs to Nishiki.
“Eggnog,” he said. “I found out about it in Yuko’s Christmas book and thought I would make some.”
Nishiki took a sip; it tasted like warm custard, with a hint of cinnamon and a slight kick of heat that warmed the back of his throat. He wasn’t sure what the source of that heat was, but he had a feeling he wasn’t supposed to be drinking that at his age.
“Is something wrong, Kazama-san?”
One thing Nishiki was slightly better than Kiryu at was being able to read the room, or perhaps he was just conditioned to always assume the worst when he’s alone with a person of authority.
“You’re not in trouble,” Kazama assured him. “Although, you really should take a leaf out of Kazuma's book. Sometimes being too honest is a bad thing.”
Nishiki looked confused.
“Kazama-san, I don't understand.”
Kazama sighed. Nishiki didn’t have a bad bone in his body, but his love for his sister often caused him to make unusual decisions.
“Nishiki, Yuko doesn't have much to look forward to in life. Santa only appears once a year, so why not give her this little moment of happiness?”
Nishiki felt like an absolute worm. Yuko was the only family he had and treatment for her illness was going to be ongoing for as long as she was alive. The doctor said she had a weak heart that will one day give out on her without a transplant. It wasn’t a case of if, but when. He knew he should treat her more kindly, but he felt that doing so would remind him about her fragility. It all sounded so ridiculous, why begrudge a child the right to think and act like one? Perhaps that was why he insisted on treating her like an adult, since she probably won’t get a chance to experience that.
“I want Yuko to experience the world as authentically as possible,” Nishiki reasoned. “She’s still so innocent and I’m afraid she’ll miss out on so much since…”
His voice trailed off as the grip around the mug tightened.
“Innocence is a gift,” Kazama replied gently. “Life is infinitely more beautiful when you aren’t aware of the reality of how cruel it can be.”
Nishiki hung his head. Out of everyone, Yuko had been dealt the cruelest hand. Even so, she had retained so much of her positivity and innocence. What sort of monster would try and destroy that?
A goddamn idiot, that’s who.
“I’m sorry, Kazama-san,” he mumbled as he fought back tears. “I’m such an idiot. If only I was like Kiryu, I-”
Kazama laughed. “Nishiki, you should never apologize for who you are. Your honesty is your best trait! Although…”
He placed his hand on Nishiki’s shoulder.
“Always remember, if it can make someone happy, sometimes a little white lie is the best way to go.”
*
Later that night, Nishiki tossed and turned in bed. The Christmas party had been a lot more fun than he expected, but he couldn’t stop thinking about what Kazama-san had said.
That and it was really cold tonight.
He sneezed.
“Hey Nishiki, are you ok?”
Shit, Kiryu was still awake. Yuko’s situation wasn’t the only thing on his mind. The thought of going to Kamurocho with Kiryu was incredibly exciting and he found himself planning all sorts of activities they could do together.
It would be their first trip away together and Nishiki wanted it to be memorable.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he sniffed. “Sorry I woke you up.”
Kiryu moved closer. Their futons were already side by side and Kiryu was basically lying on Nishiki’s side now.
“It’s ok, I wasn’t asleep anyway,” he assured him. “Are you feeling unwell?”
Nishiki shook his head.
“No, I’m just cold.”
Kiryu immediately threw half of his blanket over him.
“Is this better?” he asked.
“A little, yeah,” Nishiki said. He pulled the blanket around him closely, but he soon felt something even warmer press up against him.
“....Kiryu?”
“What about now?” Kiryu whispered in his ear. “I heard that sharing body heat is the easiest way to warm someone up.”
Nishiki knew that too, but this was….
He clenched his legs together as he felt himself react to Kiryu’s heat and voice.
“Wow Nishiki, your hands are really cold,” Kiryu observed, as his fingers grazed his hands.
“Damn it Kiryu, stop blowing into my ear,” Nishiki said through gritted teeth, his skin erupting in goosebumps as Kiryu’s breath tickled his earlobe.
Kiryu shifted his arms.
“If you don’t feel better tomorrow morning you might need to go to the doctor,” he said.
Nishiki didn’t reply, allowing himself to sink into Kiryu’s haphazard embrace as warmth engulfed his furiously-beating heart.
Five years later
It was Christmas Eve. Reina had organized a party at Serena, which was exactly what they needed to take their mind off everything that had happened recently. However they both soon realized that they weren't in the mood to party all night and left very quickly.
Instead, Kiryu and Nishiki both got into a hire car and drove off towards the Sunflower Orphanage. Nishiki was the one who suggested spending Christmas there again although the decision to drive there right after the party was Kiryu's.
They didn't know whose idea was worse, but they were used to making bad decisions together.
Kiryu turned the radio on, settling on a station where an English song was playing.
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart.
But the very next day, you gave it away.
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
He winced.
“Isn’t this supposed to be a Christmas song?” he asked, sounding slightly confused. “Why are the lyrics kind of depressing?”
“I dunno,” Nishiki shrugged. “But then again, there’s not much to be joyful about, is there?”
There really wasn't. Kazama-san wasn’t happy when they joined the Yakuza and rightly so, they have had way too many close shaves with death recently for their liking.
“Remember that Christmas party at Sunflower?” Kiryu asked. “That feels like a long time ago, doesn’t it?”
Nishiki laughed. That night had been a lot more eventful for him and he thought about it more often than he expected.
"Was that the last time we had something to be thankful for?" Nishiki asked, brandishing the watch on his wrist. Kiryu's matching one flashed on his wrist as well, like two peas in a pod.
"Wow, our lives must really suck, huh?"
They both chuckled wryly.
“At least we still ended up coming to Kamurocho together,” Kiryu observed. “Just like how you wanted.”
“Yeah but it wasn't what I was expecting,” Nishiki protested.
“What were you expecting?”
‘Everything else but this’ was what Nishiki wanted to say. It was supposed to be a fun trip filled with booze and karaoke, but instead they ended up embroiled in blackmail and betrayal; Kiryu was framed for murder, Nishiki nearly killed him and they somehow overcame it all.
“I guess we can be thankful that we’re both alive,” Nishiki said quietly instead.
It was crazy how often they took the simple things for granted. When Nishiki had pointed the gun at the back of Kiryu's head it was his way of showing mercy, offering him a quick end instead of the alternative outcome of their patriarch Sohei Dojima getting to him first.
That would have resulted in a much messier outcome.
"Right, that is something,” Kiryu agreed.
“Do you mind if I change the station? This song is really getting me down.”
“Go for it,” Nishiki replied lazily. He didn't want to admit it, but after that party from five years ago he had always felt quite ambivalent towards this time of the year. There was that lecture from Kazama-san, and then Kiryu cuddling him all night like it was the most natural thing in the world.
It brought up a lot of feelings that he was still wrestling with to this day.
“I think Reina likes you!” Kiryu suddenly piped up. “Didn't you see how disappointed she was when you refused to kiss her under the mistletoe at Serena?”
Nishiki rolled his eyes.
“What sort of stupid tradition is that?” he complained “I'm not kissing anyone I'm not into, not even for ‘tradition’.”
“Oh?" Kiryu asked, sounding rather amused. "Are you into someone else instead? Who is it?”
Nishiki paused; it was rare for Kiryu to be this inquisitive, maybe the festive atmosphere was getting to him.
“Nobody. I'm not into anyone,” he revealed.
Kiryu wasn’t convinced, but he laughed softly under his breath.
“Fair enough. Just know that I want to be your best man when you get married, ok?”
Nishiki mumbled in agreement. They had never spoken about the future together, but the thought of himself marrying someone else with Kiryu in attendance wasn’t something that filled him with excitement.
“It’s snowing!”
Sure enough, little white snowflakes were starting to drift down against their window. The last time they saw snow was that night at the Sunflower Orphanage. How poetic that they were heading back to the place where it all began, older but not necessarily wiser.
A jaunty tune started on the radio and the car was soon filled with Kiryu's botched attempts to sing along.
How I hate going out in the storm
(But if you really hold me tight)
Well, all the way home I'll be warm
Nishiki watched the snowflakes outside the window as he suddenly shivered. He was glad to still be here for another year alongside Kiryu, but the last thing he said was weighing heavily upon him. He didn't like lying, but he still remembered Kazama-san telling him that there were exceptions to the rule.
And the fire is slowly dying
And, my dear, we're still goodbying
But as long as you love me so
Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!
“If it can make someone happy, sometimes a little white lie is the best way to go”.
The last few days had been a roller coaster of emotions that had him questioning everything, but he now realized there was one thing in life that he couldn’t live without.
A peculiar feeling welled up in Nishiki’s heart, like his guts had liquified and the mush was eroding him from the inside.
Kazama-san, why didn’t you mention how much that white lie would hurt the one telling it?