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Mike Wheeler is a kid that grew up in the 70s and 80s to a family who really subscribed to the idea of a nuclear family, which in and of itself cannot be described as a bad thing. It becomes incorrigible though when the parents do not love each other though, which Nancy has alluded to throughout the show. We also see in season five that Karen Wheeler specifically isn’t happy–she’s drinking too much and fighting with Ted. It seems they cannot get on the same page when it comes to how they want to run their household, and they’re not providing a united front for their children.
It’s also surprising in earlier seasons to see how uninvolved Ted and Karen Wheeler are in their children’s lives. They don’t know their son is friends with El, or that he was keeping her in their basement. I think if they paid closer attention, they would notice what’s going on in their son’s life. Additionally, it’s not apparent if they know Nancy has guns in the house, and I believe this further shows how much their kids are able to get away with due to their lack of attention.
There are a few good moments between Karen Wheeler and her children such as when Nancy comes home after a night out with Steve, and Karen tries to talk to her about what happened. There’s also the moment when Karen tells Nancy that she should make a go of it in journalism, implying that the nuclear family may not be the way for Nancy. But there’s only one moment when Karen notices Mike in this way and it’s immediately after Will leaves for California. Mike comes home from seeing Will and El off, and breaks down in her arms. This is a good moment until you peel back the layers and realize that Karen was there for Nancy in times that wouldn’t obviously be “big moments” but she’s only there for Mike during an obviously “big moment.”
The difference between the two matters because it shows that Karen is more in tune with Nancy and is not in tune with Mike at all. The way Karen is there for Mike is the same as if your distant aunt that you haven’t spoken to in years comes to drop off a casserole for you after your husband of twenty years died. But Karen is there for Nancy at the drop of a hat.
Mike Wheeler doesn’t get the love he needs at home through his family, so he has to feel like he’s worth something to the people around him in order to have any worth at all. El needing him to exist in society to be seen as “normal” gives him the feeling of being needed, and I think it gives him a power trip to be the one to teach her those things, but I digress. This feeling is stripped from him in Season Three when Max comes into the picture and begins teaching El about other social norms.
Will getting super powers only adds to his belief because Will needed Mike to encourage him in order to unlock his powers. This only fuels Mike’s belief that he’s only worth something if the people around him need him to provide emotional comfort or encourage–to be the heart, as Will put it. If Will has super powers, then Will doesn’t really need Mike at all anymore. Except for the fact that Will is in love with Mike or something (/joke), there’s no reason for him to “need” Mike.
The reason Mike and El’s relationship isn’t working in season five is because El doesn’t need Mike anymore. She has Hopper and Joyce helping her to get stronger so she can beat Vecna. When it comes to defeating Vecna, Mike is completely useless to both Will and El unless he’s “being the heart.”
I really do wonder where the Duffer Brothers are going to take Mike Wheeler’s character now that Will and El’s characters have grown into their own. I think the only way for Mike’s arc to be complete is if he is loved without strings attached, without being “needed” to fulfill someone else' s character arc. And I think only Will or El can do that if they lose or give up their powers at the end of the season. If they lose their powers, then they would be on an even playing field with Mike.
Other events could change this, for sure, especially if Mike gets taken by Vecna. For all we know, Mike also has powers and they’re going to be unlocked by Vecna–that would definitely even the playing field. Obviously, more information is definitely needed for this analysis, and I think it will be provided in Season Five Volume Two, but these are my thoughts for now. Weigh in down in the comments.