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English
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Published:
2026-01-20
Updated:
2026-02-14
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13,898
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3/?
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But I want to live(and not just survive)

Summary:

Merlin came to Camelot harboring a life-threatening secret and throughout his years living in Camelot serving and protecting Arthur, he never thought that the prince might be harboring a life-altering secret of his own and that prince arthur was not all that he presents himself as.

Or,

A retelling of Merlin with abo dynamics.

Chapter 1: Prologue

Summary:

The king suddenly moved towards Gaius, grasping his shoulders. “Please Gaius, this is for the safety of the kingdom. If the other kings find out about Arthur’s omega status, they will no doubt try to invade Camelot as the agreement between all the kings throughout Albion was that only an alpha or beta can rule their respective kingdom or risk an invasion on their kingdom.”

Gaius sighed softly, feeling trapped under the king’s hands and pleading gaze. “I can tell you for certain that there is no spell in all of Albion that can permanently supress pheromones, but there are a variety of potions that can suppress his scent and lull his omegan instincts for weeks at a time.

Uther, desperate for any solution to this disaster, quickly nodded, relieved. “Thank you, Gaius. Make sure to be discreet.”

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Three months and one week after Arthur’s twelfth birthday, he woke up with a heat below his stomach threatening to cook him alive internally. It was as if he was boiling from the inside with no reprieve.

As he laid writhing in bed, he found the strength to yell for the guards who then alerted the king of his illness.

As soon as king Uther bursts through his son’s room, he was hit with the smoky scent of burning wood and the sweet scent of basil and hibiscus.

Uther froze in place, eyes wide in pure disbelief.

He was so sure.

He was so sure that his son would become an alpha. What with his strong determination and will, his stubbornness, playful nature, and arrogance. He had all the traits of a well-bred alpha. It was just a matter of him presenting as one to seal the deal.

But now, as Uther inhaled the Omega scent of his newly presented son, he felt nothing but horror, disappointment, and… disgust.

He sharply turned away from the whimpering twelve-year-old and slammed the door behind him, muffling Arthur’s cries, and pleas. He clenched his trembling fists. “Call for the court physician immediately. It is urgent.” He ordered one of his guards who nodded once and turned away to do as told.

Uther pressed his back to the door and breathed in deeply, trying not to think too much about what Arthur’s presentation means now and for the future. He tried not to panic because he is the king and will never allow his emotions to get the best of him.

A while passed before Gaius came walking in fast strides, clad in his sleeping robes. He stopped in front of Uther and bowed. “Greetings Sire, how may I help you?"

Uther inhaled and opened the door to Arthur’s room, trusting Gaius to follow him in. He shuts the door behind the guards.

Once in the room, Gaius inhaled Arthur’s scent once and seemed to understand what was going on before walking towards the boy. “What is it that you need me to do Sire?” he asks, standing in front of Arthur’s bed and staring down at him with furrowed brows, concerned.

Arthur whined and clenched the bed sheets, tears pouring out of his eyes, his sleepwear soaked with sweat.

“It hurts,” the twelve-year-old cries. “Father, it hurts, please.” He reached a hand out to Uther who stood on the far edge of the bed, refusing to stare at him.

Uther ignored him. His sharp gaze focused on Gaius, “No one can know of his presentation. You must find a way to suppress his pheromones permanently,” he said urgently, his gaze cold and stern.

Gaius moved his eyes away from Arthur to stare at Uther. “That is impossible my lord. One cannot suppress their pheromones forever. It is completely unheard of.”

“What about magic?” The king snapped, his voice a harsh whisper.

Gaius blinked in shock. “Magic?”

“Yes.”

“I am not entirely sure how to do that sire.”

The king suddenly moved towards Gaius, grasping his shoulders. “Please Gaius, this is for the safety of the kingdom. If the other kings find out about Arthur’s omega status, they will no doubt try to invade Camelot as the agreement between all the kings throughout Albion was that only an alpha or beta can rule their respective kingdom or risk an invasion on their kingdom.”

Gaius sighed softly, feeling trapped under the king’s hands and pleading gaze. “I can tell you for certain that there is no spell in all of Albion that can permanently supress pheromones, but there are a variety of potions that can suppress his scent and lull his omegan instincts for weeks at a time.

Uther, desperate for any solution to this disaster, quickly nodded, relieved. “Thank you, Gaius. Make sure to be discreet.”

Gaius opened his mouth but was interrupted by Arthur's sudden loud panting. The prince was now thrashing on his bed, high pitched whines ripping from his throat.

Both the king and Gaius snapped their heads towards him. Uther quickly took a step back, as if afraid of his son. Gaius stared at Arthur in concern. “He needs some comfort sire. It is important for newly presented omegas to scent those closest to them and feel safe in their arms.”

Uther quickly shook his head. “No,” he snapped. “Arthur is strong enough to deal with this on his own.” He nodded to himself, self-assuring.

Gaius pursed his lips. “It is not a matter of strength, sire. It is a simple biological fact. Newly presented omegas need to scent those they feel safe around for comfort or their first heat may be fatal.”

Uther inhales sharply, pushing his shoulders back and standing straighter than before. “I cannot Gaius.” He said quietly with something akin to shame in his voice.

Gaius raised one single brow, expressionless. “May I suggest Morgana then sire? She is an Omega whom Arthur trusts and feels safe around”

Uther nodded immediately. “Yes, yes. I shall have the guards call for her.” He quickly marched towards the door, opened it, and ordered two of the guards to escort fourteen-year-old lady Morgana to Arthur’s chambers.

Silence fell upon the room aside from Arthur's panting and whining. Gaius slowly reached a hand forward and softly touched his forehead, almost withdrawing his hand immediately from the sheer heat that his forehead radiated. He was burning like a furnace. Gaius grew more worried. He turned towards Uther.

“I will have to concoct a potion to bring down his fever and make his heat easier to bear. He is in extreme pain.” Gaius’ voice was grave.

Before Uther could make a sound, the doors to Arthur’s chambers burst open and Morgana waltz in. The guards shut the doors behind her as she rushed towards Arthur, expression alarmed and worried.

“What has happened to him? The guards said it was urgent.”

“Arthur is an Omega.” Uther said, short and curt.

Morgana gasped and sat beside Arthur on the bed who immediately reached for her and wrapped his arms around her middle. “’Gana, it hurts.” He whines, burying his face in her stomach. Morgana wasted no time wrapping her arms around his head gently, almost recoiling from the heat that his skin radiated. She inhaled his scent and made shushing noises.

“It is all right Arthur, all is fine. You will be all right.” Her voice was reassuring as she caressed his hair.

“All is not fine.” Uther snapped, standing rigid, several paces away from them. “Arthur is the heir to the throne, and he is an Omega.” His eyes flashed in anger. “That is something that can never be, do you understand that, Morgana?”

Morgana paused her caress on Arthur’s head and turned her head to glare at Uther. “Right now, you should not be worrying about such matters. Your son is in pain from his first heat, and he needs to feel safe in your arms, yet here you are afraid to stand close to him.”

Uther gritted his teeth, leaning forward as if he were about to march over to her and shake her shoulders so she could see sense, but Gaius quickly interrupted before they could blow up at each other as they always tend to do.

“Sire and my lady, if I may, we should all be focused on one thing at a time. I will go back to my chambers and start concocting the potion. The both of you should perhaps speak calmly around Arthur as we do not want to alarm him with our bitter scent. His sense of smell is especially sensitive during his first heat, please be mindful of that”. With that, Gaius bowed and walked towards the door, closing it behind him.

Silence fell upon the room once more and Arthur’s pants and whines subdued now that he had a fellow Omega to cuddle with.

“So, you will suppress his pheromones so he can pass as a beta to everyone else?” Morgana asked, quieter now.

Uther sighed softly, as if exhausted. “Yes Morgana, that is the way it has to be, or Camelot shall remain without an heir to ascend the throne after my death which will no doubt lead to chaos”

“Suppressing his pheromones will be damaging to him. Are you willing to risk your own son’s well-being for the sake of appeasing other kings?” Morgana’s voice and expression was furious.

Uther glared back at her. “More than his poor health will be on the line if the other kings find out. Do you want him killed?”

Morgana blinked slowly at him, expression morphing from furious to a blank. “You are what I always thought you to be.”

Uther looked exasperated now. “And what would that be?”

“Scared.” Morgana whispered. “Just a scared and paranoid man.”

Uther bristled, unable to find the words to retort, her words cut deep. In the end, he chose to sit down heavily on the chair that is in the far corner of the room, a great distance from Arthur’s bed.

Morgana sneered at him, but neither of them said anything more to each other.

Moments passed and Gaius came back with the potion he promised. Morgana propped Arthur’s head up and assisted Gaius in giving it to him. With more caress and reassurance from Morgana, Arthur lightly dozed, shivering even with the heavy blankets Morgana covered him with.

“Neither of you shall speak of this with anyone else, am I understood?” Uther asked, voice serious, leaving no room for argument. Morgana simply huffed and glared at him. Gaius nodded dutifully.

“Understood Sire.”

Three days later, Arthur’s heat ended, but to the people of Camelot, his three days seclusion was due to a contagious illness that the court physician had treated him for.

As his twelfth birthday came and went, the prince of Camelot lived as a beta.

Notes:

I'm not sure if anyone will be reading this, but if you are, welcome! This is my first ever fanfic! I have been meaning to publish fanfics on ao3 but have been rather timid and afraid of how people would perceive my writing as it is not very strong since English is not my first language. There will probably be some grammar mistakes but I will do my best to make my writing make sense while also be entertaining. My humor is a bit dry so I'm sorry in advance if the jokes I write aren't funny, but that shouldn't be too hard with Merlin as the show had me laughing until my ribs hurt. I am going to try as hard as I can to keep everyone in character, which should not be too hard for me since I grew up watching Merlin. I was eight. It's been twelve years. RELEASE ME!!

But anyway, enough of my rambling. I hope you enjoy this fic. I plan for the total word count of the fic to be around 100k-150k so we'll see where that goes. Also this chapter is more of a prologue which is why it is so short. I plan for each chapter to have at least 10k words.