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A thousand different questions and emotions ran through Jay’s mind.
What if she was making the wrong choice? What if Lizzie was already dead? Could the other two captains survive without her?
Guilt stung in her heart as she started saying goodbye to her crew members that chose to stay.
She hugged Drey close, promising to get answers for both of them regarding their family. Asking Gryffon to help look after each other in this dark place. Crying as she clung on to Gillion and promising she’d be safe.
The entire time Chip stood off to the side with his hands awkwardly in his jacket pockets, eyes glued on Jay. His chest was puffed out and his head was held up high.
His heart tried not to break as he saw Gillion sharing a tearful goodbye with his daughter, Pretzel.
After saying goodbye to everyone staying Jay quietly walked over to Chip, holding eye contact with him as she approached him.
“Well I guess it’s that time.” Jay said, trying to sound as casual as possible.
“Yup, guess so.” He rocked back and forth on his feet, a small smile on his face.
Jay could read Chip like a book, she always could. So when she saw his small smile all she saw was an attempt at covering up his worry.
Without saying a word, Jay immediately brought Chip into a hug. He collides with her body, letting out a small sound of surprise, but melts into the hug afterwards.
He could feel tears on his shoulder but he didn’t care as he grabbed the back of her shirt with both hands. It grounded him, it grounded them both.
“And here I thought you were gonna be happy about getting rid of me.”
Jay let out a watery laugh, “Shut up you bastard.”
He laughed, “There it is.”
The Ferin gave Chip one more squeeze as she pulled away, smiling and wiping away her tears.
Chip could tell she was growing uneasy and grabbed her shoulder, “Hey, it’ll be alright.”
“Yeah, it will. I can handle myself and so can you. Just please don’t die, again.”
“Won’t make any promises.”
“And don’t get high again.”
“Ah man! Now’s that’s drawing the line. How else are we supposed to survive here?”
The two erupted into laughter for a moment, the gravity of the situation seeming to dissipate.
As it died down Jay could see his smile fade for a moment, that exterior he tried to keep up had started to crack. There was a look in his eyes that told her she was starting to crumble.
“Please be careful, Jay. Please. I don’t think I can handle losing anybody else.”
What Jay saw in front of her was a Chip she didn’t see often. One fully in his feels, not trying to hide his true emotions at all. She saw it more and more the longer they travelled, but it was still jarring to see sometimes.
She brought him into another hug, “Cmere you big baby.”
Chip laughed through the tears. He could feel a kiss placed to the top of his head.
“For what it’s worth, I hope you find him.”
“Thanks, Jay. I hope you find the answers you’re looking for.”
Jay ruffled his hair and let go of the hug, wiping her cheeks of any tears. Chip watched as her hand shook as she did so. She was probably cold, Chip wondered.
He quietly took off his big red coat, draping it over her shoulders. They were around the same size, so it didn’t look massive on her. If anything it looked massive on him and it fit her perfectly.
“What’s this for?”
Chip shrugged, “You looked cold. I don’t need it anyway, the whole being dead thing of course. And I don’t know, just thought you’d want something to remember me by.”
Jay frowned at him, “You’re going to make it out of this, Chip.”
“But we don’t know that, do we?”
He was met with silence. Chip sighed, “So in case I don’t make it out you have that.”
Jay could’ve bursted into tears at that very moment. A part of her brain screamed at her to stay, but another part of her told her to go and save Lizzie. It was overwhelming. She had no clue if this was the right decision and that terrified her.
But instead of letting it show, she smiled at Chip. “Thank you. I love you, Chip.”
“Love you too, Jay.”
Jay forced herself to start walking towards the teleporter because she knew if she didn’t now than she never would.
She turned around to find both of her co captains staring back at her. The crew leaving was standing on the teleporter, ready to leave, but she wasn’t. She ran back to her co captains and caught them both in one more hug, “Gods I love you dorks so much. Please don’t die out there.”
Chip’s laugh was heard from her right ear, “We’ll be fine, we’re the Riptide pirates. We’re all going to fuck shit up and handle whatever life throws at us together.”
Gillion spoke up in her other ear, “We love you, Jay. Everything’s going to be okay.”
They stood there for a moment and Jay soaked in their words. Each word clung to her like she was trying to commit them to memory.
Jay walked onto the teleporter, pulling Chip’s coat further onto her shoulders. It weighed heavy on her like a reminder, a shield. It reminded her of how the Navy would wear their coats in the same way. But this coat meant more. This was the coat she wanted to adorn, this was the crew she wanted to represent. No matter what happened she knew this coat would weigh on her as a reminder for what was waiting for her. A reason to fight. To live.
She grabbed Pretzel’s hand and watched her co captains until she couldn’t anymore. Her brain thought back to something Gillion said.
“Even if it’s all inevitable, i’m glad we got written in the same story.”