Chapter Text
—I hereby declare the first meeting of our club, ‘Alexander Hamilton's Enemies", open —began Maria Reynolds, arms crossed and beaming with pride for this “therapy group"—. Any questions, guys?”
Samuel Seabury was the only one to raise his hand, so Charles Lee and Maria looked at him curiously, giving him the floor.
—Excuse me if I sound rude, but why are there so few of us? As far as I know, Hamilton is far too arrogant for just three of us to be seeking revenge —said Samuel, frowning and straightening his back, a stark contrast to Lee, who didn’t seem too concerned about maintaining an upright posture.
Charles was the first to answer Seabury's question, placing his hands on the coffee table in front of them and remembering why they were alone
—Well, you're right about that, because there are many more people who hate it, but when we went to ask Thomas Jefferson and James Madison if they wanted to join us, it didn't go as well as we'd hoped... —Lee explained, his gaze distant as he recalled an anecdote Samuel hadn't known until that moment.
Samuel turned to look at Maria curiously, which prompted Maria to decide to tell the rest of the story.
—Let’s just say Lee and I went looking for them one day when they’d gone shopping, and when Jefferson saw us, well... —Maria explained, trailing off before trying to continue in barely intelligible whispers, so embarrassed was the situation.
—He threw us a coin, thinking we were beggars —Charles finished, trying to sound less ashamed than Maria, though it was a half-hearted attempt, as he clenched his fists while talking about it—. And that’s not all. See that bill over there? —He pointed to a bill lying in the corner of the table.
Samuel fixed his gaze on the crumpled bill lying on the table and, without thinking twice, reached out and grabbed it.
—No, but go on.
Maria stared at Samuel with her arms crossed, a "Seriously?" expression on her face. Lee slapped Seabury's hand, making him drop the bill. Samuel gasped in pain and threw the money down on the table in resignation.
—It turns out James Madison apologized to us for Jefferson’s behavior, and we thought he’d consider our offer to join the club… But then he suddenly pulled a bill out of his wallet and said, “This will be enough for your lunch", and left! —Maria finished, tapping the table lightly in frustration. She took a breath under the somewhat intimidated gazes of Charles and Samuel and returned to the topic that had brought them together—. Anyway, we’re not here because of them. We’re here because we’re bitter and instead of seeking therapy, we’re looking for revenge, aren’t we?
—Yes! —both boys exclaimed enthusiastically at the same time.
Maria approached with an enthusiastic smile and continued her speech:
—And so that we can have a worthy revenge, we first need a responsible leader to guide our mission… Anyone up for it?
The three instinctively raised their hands and stared at each other for a few seconds. In an attempt to lessen the competition, Lee tried to grab Seabury’s arm to pull him down.
—You already have enough responsibilities at the church. You need free time, and if you’re leading this thing, you’ll probably have a full schedule all day! —Lee tried to argue, hoping Samuel would lower his hand —It’s just that I’m worried about your health, my friend, and rest is very important because…
—Yeah, right! And when have you ever worried about someone’s health other than your dog’s?! —Samuel retorted, pulling his chair away from Charles.
—Well, you have to start somewhere, besides, I only worry about Spada as much as necessary.
Maria frowned at Charles's last comment and shook her head.
—You worry about him as much as necessary? The other day you called me at three in the morning because Spada was supposedly on his "deathbed", and when I got to your house a little while later, your dog had only sneezed from the cold. So don't play the moralist!
Lee sat back down in his chair with his arms crossed and slightly hunched over, looking at the floor to avoid eye contact with Maria.
—You shut up. I have my reasons for worrying about him, and that's the end of it —Charles finished, not dwelling on the matter further, while Seabury watched him with a barely suppressed smile and Maria observed them both with an expression that said, "Let's get back to the matter that brought us here"—. Anyway, I think the most suitable person to be the 'leader' of this mission is simply myself. I'm the only one who's ever gotten into hand-to-hand combat with one of Hamilton's "friends", remember, Maria? John Laurens.
Maria sighed and whispered: "Don't remind me." Samuel didn't know exactly what Lee meant by having a fight with someone named Laurens, and apparently his confusion was so obvious that Lee saw it and had to summarize the situation as briefly as possible:
—Basically, one day I had a falling out with Mr. Washington and I started complaining to everyone until Hamilton’s lapdog, Laurens, got all tough and challenged me to a fight outside the university —Lee explained briefly as Seabury let out a simple “Oooh” and nodded—. That’s not the point. The point is…
—Yes, yes, we know you want to be the leader of this group, but you haven’t wanted to listen to our stories. Perhaps you’ll realize that you’re not the only victim in this room —Maria assured Lee with a somewhat persuasive smile and proceeded to recount her misfortune—. Well, everyone here knows that I was married for a few years to my now ex-husband, James, and when my marriage went from bad to worse, I sought refuge in the arms of the worst human being we know…
Samuel and Charles looked at each other and at the same time said "Hamilton" before looking back at Maria, who nodded before continuing.
—Unfortunately, yes, and after he left me even worse mentally than I already was, he tells me he didn't want to be with me anymore because he realized he was gay and cheating on me with his best friend, can you believe it?! —Maria instinctively slammed her fist on the table as if the pain and anger of the aforementioned moment returned to her subconscious just by remembering it, and Lee placed his hand on top of Maria's to calm her down a little.
Maria took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, watched with some concern by Samuel and Charles.
—Anyway, after that I discovered I like girls too, and right now I'm dating Alexander's ex, Eliza Schuyler! —Maria announced with an excited smile, her eyes lighting up at the mention of her current girlfriend.
Seabury, eager to hear the happy ending to Maria's story, knew it was his moment to speak about the harm Hamilton had caused her. He stood up and cleared his throat as if he were about to give a speech, Lee staring at him intently, as did Maria.
—As you all know, I'm new to this "therapy" group and I've only been getting to know you all for a few months, but I'm grateful you invited me here. Well, I'm an altar boy at the church nearby, and one day I wanted to show the rest of the city how faith and hope could change everyone's life as much as they changed mine. So I grabbed my handmade pamphlets and went downtown to hand them out. And there I was, with my pamphlets that would guide you to salvation and...
—Stop being so abstract and tell us in simple English, please —Maria pleaded, somewhat embarrassed, as she got lost in Samuel’s words.
Charles gestured toward Maria as he nodded, looking at Seabury as if to say: “Just listen to her.” Samuel gasped indignantly, but ended up nodding.
—Basically, the son of Beelzebub started loudly mocking my religion and my pamphlets in front of his friends, and even threw my pamphlets away before running off with the rest —Samuel finished, sitting down—. And to think I was just offering salvation to these poor souls of today, who only have sinful thoughts in their troubled minds…
Lee frowned when he heard Samuel’s last sentence and didn’t hesitate to intervene when he had the chance.
—You talk about morality when the time you invited me to sleep at your house last week you started praying before going to sleep, which in any context I would consider normal, but it's not normal that in the middle of your prayer you said: "My Father, I don't ask you, I beg you to strike Alexander Hamilton with lightning while he sleeps... No, better yet, do it while he's awake, or give him erectile dysfunction!" —Charles said the last part imitating Seabury's voice in a mocking tone.
Samuel's demeanor tightened as soon as Charles brought up the subject, as he felt Charles hadn't realized that the time he'd invited him to watch movies—besides the fact that Seabury wanted to meet Spada and Lee had brought him along—he'd taken the opportunity to wish Hamilton well. However, he was grateful that the day Charles came to his house he'd only expressed his most innocuous wishes, because sometimes he said other things, especially during confession at church. One could even say the priest had recommended psychologists to him.
—Look, by the first thing I meant that God should illuminate Hamilton's soul in a poetic way, I didn't mean that I wanted him dead! —Samuel excused himself, looking away from Charles.
—And what did you mean by erectile dysfunction? —Maria asked, breaking the silence she had maintained since Samuel had started speaking.
—By that I meant that...
—SEABURY MEANT YOU SHOULD LET ME LEAD! —Charles interrupted, giving Samuel a little shove, which made the latter laugh—. The leader of this "company" should be someone aware of their own actions and shortcomings, not someone who claims to be a saint while wishing ill on others —With that, Seabury’s smile vanished as Lee looked at him with a glee that reflected he knew exactly what he was talking about.
Maria rolled her eyes, bored yet resigned, as if she wanted to agree with Charles for a moment. An idea sparked in her mind, and she looked at Lee with conviction.
—So you're the one who's going to lead this group to glory because you're the truly innocent one here, right? —Maria began.
Lee nodded with a smug smile, while Seabury watched, amused by Charles's overflowing pride. Maria continued,
—And why was it that when I went to your house months ago, I saw a target with several nails stuck in it, a picture of Laurens taped to your bedroom door? Besides being spiteful, you seem like a liar —After saying this, Lee swallowed his pride to avoid the gaze of Maria and Samuel, who were eager for an explanation from their friend.
Faced with Maria's accusation, Charles could only offer one request:
—Can we get revenge on John Laurens too?
Seabury couldn't refuse Lee when he said that in a barely audible whisper, and he put his arm around Charles's shoulders as if to comfort him in his "suffering," resting his head on his shoulder.
—Of course, my friend —Samuel replied, mimicking an affectionate tone, managing to make Lee avoid his friend's gaze while Maria watched them with a raised eyebrow.
—So, now that we’ve realized we’re all equally resentful and that no one is better or worse than us, what do you want to do: let Alexander ruin our dinner time and our lives, or stop these pointless arguments and take a break? Ever since we started talking about this, my body has been craving carbs, and I’m not going to let that happen —Maria offered, pulling her phone from her pocket and almost instantly opening a delivery app.
Charles and Samuel exchanged a glance before the latter pulled his arm away from his friend as they both laughed awkwardly. Lee was the first to respond to the only girl in the room’s suggestion.
—Yes, I'm starving too.