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“Protein cookies, for the drive,” Buck said sheepishly, handing the bag over to Eddie.
“Thanks Buck,” Eddie replied softly. “I… thank you.”
Eddie wasn’t even sure what exactly that second thank you was for, but Buck seemed to know when he nodded. He opened his arms for Eddie, who tucked himself into Buck’s embrace, not knowing when the next one would come. Eddie squeezed Buck tighter at the thought, and sighed when the squeeze was returned. Very few things came close to the feeling of peace and calm that Eddie experienced when Buck held him like this, and he was kicking himself that they didn’t do this more often.
“I’m going to miss you,” Buck admitted, eyes glassy.
“I’m going to miss you too, man.”
“Drive safely. You’ll let me know when you get there?”
“I’ll call to check in, I promise.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
Eddie was selfish, and went in for one more hug. How could he not.
“Bye Buck.”
“Bye Eddie.”
Eddie felt sick to his stomach, watching his best friend get smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror. The sensation only got worse the further he got, and after 10 minutes of forcing down a panic attack, he turned around. He couldn’t do it. Leaving Buck behind felt like leaving a vital organ behind. Namely, his heart.
He drove as quickly over the speed limit as he dared, barely waiting for his truck to be put in park before he jumped out and ran inside. Buck wasn’t on the couch, but when he heard the sobs from his bedroom, he paused for a moment, heart constricting knowing he was the cause, before opening the door.
The sight broke his heart. Buck, in one of Eddie’s hoodies, clutching Eddie’s pillow to his chest. The air left Eddie’s lungs, alerting Buck to his presence.
“Eddie?! Did you forget something?,” Buck asked, sitting up quickly and wiping the tears from his eyes onto the sleeve of Eddie’s hoodie.
“Yeah, I did.”
“Can I help you find it?”
“You’re right here,” Eddie said softly, blinking tears out of his own eyes.
“Me?”
Eddie nodded, not being able to trust his voice. Buck’s lip wobbled and he once again opened his arms for Eddie, who all but collapsed into Buck’s chest, heaving sobs shaking his body.
“Oh Eds. I’m here, I’ve got you,” Buck promised, rubbing his hand up and down Eddie’s back.
“I don’t deserve you,” Eddie choked out.
“That’s bullshit and you know it. We’ve got each other’s backs, always. Let it all out Eddie. We’ll talk when you feel a little bit better.”
Eddie had no idea how far behind schedule he was when his tears finally dried up and his breathing returned to normal. Buck was a quiet strength, holding him close, his hand never ceasing to rub his back.
“Better?,” he asked gently.
“Yeah,” Eddie replied, taking a deep breath before sitting up, taking both of Buck’s hands in his own.
“Whenever you’re ready.”
Another deep breath, and Buck squeezed their conjoined hands. Eddie could do this. It was just Buck. His Buck, who deserved that Eddie looked him in the eyes while he confessed.
“I can’t be another person leaving you behind Buck. I can’t do that to you, and I can’t do that to myself.”
“Oh, Eddie. I- I know it’s not like that-”
“But you feel like it is. I feel like it is. The further away from you I got, the worse that I felt. My heart started racing and my chest started constricting and all I could think about was how I promised to have your back but I was leaving you and I was hurting you. I couldn’t live with myself knowing that I was doing to you what I swore I never would. I had to come back,” Eddie pleaded, trying to make Buck understand.
“You’re bringing ou- your son-”
“No. You were right the first time. Our son, Buck,” Eddie emphasized, squeezing Buck’s hands. “You’re his dad as much as I am. He loves you so much, and that’s why he couldn’t go to you this time. You’re family. I’ve spent years trying to fill what I thought was a void with someone else and I didn’t realize until you were getting smaller in the rear view that the void had been filled years ago. By you. It’s you, Evan. You’re what I’ve been missing this whole time. And I know I’ve fucked up monumentally with Chris, but I couldn’t do that with you too. Half of my heart moved to El Paso, but I was leaving the other half here in LA. I know I’m being selfish-”
“No! No you’re not. Eddie, you’re the least selfish man that I have ever met. You never take what you want. You put everyone else’s needs above your own every single time. This? You coming back because you need me? I’m honored. I can’t believe I’m the first thing that you’ve wanted bad enough to come back for,” Buck trailed off softly.
“Being there in that truck without you felt like… waking up to only half a blue sky. It’s kind of there, but not quite. It felt like walking around with just one shoe. I’m half a man at best when you’re not by my side, Buck. You’re my better half.”
“I feel like you’re dancing around what you really want to say Eddie. I need you to be explicitly clear because I think you feel the way that I do but I need to be sure.”
“I love you, Buck. I’m in love with you, and it’s not as scary as I thought it would be.”
Buck laughed wetly, wiping more tears from his eyes.
“I’m in love with you too, Eddie. I never thought that I could have you so I’ve been trying to repress my feelings,” Buck confessed, cupping Eddie's cheek with his palm.
“I never thought that I would let myself have you, but I’m tired of punishing myself. I don’t want to punish you either. If I’m what makes you happy, I’ll keep working to be the man that you deserve,” Eddie promised, turning his face to press a kiss to Buck’s palm.
“Eddie, I’ve loved you at your best, I’ve loved you at worst, and I promise to keep loving you for all of the in betweens.”
“Okay,” Eddie agreed, laughing softly.
It was his turn to cup Buck’s cheek, and he pulled him close, foreheads pressed against each other, before he pulled back to press a kiss to Buck’s birthmark because he could do that now.
“You’re so beautiful, Buck.”
“Says the most gorgeous man that I’ve ever seen,” Buck scoffed.
“Impossible, because I’m looking at him right now.”
Buck giggled. He honest to God giggled, and the weight in Eddie’s chest finally settled.
“I love you,” Eddie said simply.
“I love you too.”
Somehow, this had gone from the worst day of Buck’s life to the best. He had Eddie in his arms, Eddie didn’t leave him behind, and Eddie loved him. Him!
“I don’t want to visit Christopher anymore.”
“No?,” Buck asked carefully, unsure of where this was going.
“No. I’m his father. He’s coming home.”
“I think that might have been what he was waiting for,” Buck confessed.
“Will you come with me?”
“Yes. If you would have asked me before all of this, I still would have said yes.”
“I know you would have Freddy Fakeman,” Eddie teased, pressing a kiss to Buck’s cheek. “I didn’t want you to have to uproot your life for me too, but I should have given you the choice.”
“My choice will always be you and Christopher,” Buck admitted. “You’re the first real family that I’ve ever had. Let’s go get our kid back.”
Buck insisted on driving for the first leg of the trip, and who was Eddie to protest? He tried, but Buck just gave him a look.
“You’re my passenger princess. You can drive when the roads are more familiar to you.”
If Eddie’s face took on a pink hue after being called a princess, that was between him and his kitchen, where Buck was making himself a coffee for the drive.
“I’m so glad that I made you a playlist for the trip. I have excellent music taste,” Buck continued, reheating Eddie’s coffee.
“I have a confession to make. I made a secondary playlist.”
“Eddie!,” Buck gasped in shock. “I worked so hard on that.”
“I know,” Eddie agreed, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully. “I, uh, downloaded some of the voice memos you’ve sent me over the years. Just you sharing your fun facts you know? And I did some research to figure out how to upload them into Spotify. This way, when I was lonely and missing you, I had you with me.”
“Oh Eddie, sweetheart. Can I kiss you? Please let me kiss you. Let me show you how much I love you,” Buck begged.
“I know. You show me every single day. Please kiss me anyway.”
Eddie always thought that home was a place, but it turned out Buck felt more like a home than any place Eddie had been. He had never felt so loved, so wanted before.
“Joining the 118 was the best decision of my life. When Bobby said he had the perfect partner for me I thought he meant a work partner. A life partner is so much better.”
“Life?,” Buck asked, eyes wide open in awe.
“I’m going to marry you Evan Buckley.”
“Eddie, you’re everything that I’ve ever wanted. I can’t believe that you want me back.”
“I was an idiot for not realizing sooner. I’m sorry Buck.”
“I still had you in every way that I possibly could. This is so much better,” Buck replied with a grin, kissing Eddie again. “We need to get on the road sweetheart.”
“Okay cariño.”
“Oh. I really like that.”
“Get used to it, Buckley. We’ve got a lot of time to make up for.”
With a grin, Buck opened the passenger side door for Eddie. Grinning back, Eddie leaned over to open the driver’s side door for a blushing Buck.
“Thanks, Eds.”
The first part of the drive was peaceful. They talked and laughed like normal, teasing each other with many loving glances exchanged, Buck’s playlist playing quietly in the background.
“Oh shit, I should call Bobby.”
“You can put him on speaker. I’m going to start looking at hotels.”
“Hi Buck. Are you holding up okay?,” Bobby asked softly.
“Hi Bobby. So here’s the thing…”
Bobby didn’t seem to be surprised at all. He had prayed long and hard that his son would finally figure things out with Eddie.
“Don’t worry about your shift, it’s covered. I was hoping something like this might happen.”
“Yeah, me too,” Buck replied, squeezing Eddie’s hand.
“I’ve had the paperwork filled out and sitting in my desk drawer for years now, it won’t be a problem.”
Buck sputtered and Eddie laughed.
“Thanks Cap. I’ll take the best care of your son,” Eddie promised.
Buck was going to protest before Bobby laughed softly.
“I know you will, you’ve proven that to me for 7 years now. Drive safe you two. I need both of my kids, and my grandkid, back in one piece.”
“Well now I’m crying, so thanks a lot.”
“Pull into that gas station up ahead, we’ll refuel and swap.”
They swapped seats, and Buck chewed on his lip before asking a question he had been thinking for years. If Eddie could be brave, so could he.
“Hey Bobby?”
“Yes Buck?”
“When… when it’s just us. Is it… is it okay if I call you Pop?”
“I would be honored, Buck. But don’t think that means you’ll never have latrine duty ever again.”
Buck laughed, a feeling of warmth enveloping him.
“I love you Pop.”
“I love you too, kid. Let me know when you’re there, and then when you plan to come home.”
“I will,” Buck promised, hanging up the phone.
Buck officially got a boyfriend and a dad in one day. All he needed now was Christopher.
“I picked up some of your favorite travel snacks- mmph.”
“You’re my favorite travel snack.”
“Oh yeah?,” Eddie asked, ducking his head with a blush.
“I can’t wait to devour you. But like, consensually.”
“I don’t think there’s anything you could do to me that I wouldn’t like,” Eddie admitted.
“All you have to do is ask Eds. Really though, I’m just so happy that I can hold you in the way that I want now.”
“I’m going to do my best to keep asking for what I want.”
“That’s all I ask sweetheart. Let’s get this show on the road! I saw this new documentary a few nights ago…”
Eddie couldn’t have imagined doing this drive alone. As they neared El Paso, Eddie told Buck stories about where he had grown up, pointing out places that had fond memories. Buck listened intently, asking questions where appropriate, and Eddie was reminded of why he loved Buck all over again.
“I told Chris I would be later than predicted, but I didn’t tell him you were here. I figured you’d like to surprise him,” Eddie explained when they were down the block.
“Thanks, Eds. Are you ready?”
“You’ve got my back. I’m bringing our kid home, and that’s that.”
“Pull over here?”
“Of course. Is everything okay?,” Eddie asked with a frown, eyes tracing over Buck’s features.
“Yeah. I just thought you might like one last kiss, for luck.”
“I’m going to need all the luck I can get. That’s why I brought my good luck charm,” Eddie murmured, leaning over to kiss Buck.
“I thought you didn’t believe in good luck charms?”
“I believe in you.”
Buck moaned as the words were spoken against his lips, his hand moving into Eddie’s hair to pull him impossibly closer.
“You can’t just say things like that Eddie. Not when I can’t kiss you how I want to kiss you.”
“Later,” Eddie promised, pulling down the visor to fix his hair.
“You look so sexy when your hair isn’t gelled back.”
“Yeah?,” Eddie asked with a laugh.
“Be ready Eds, all of my inside thoughts are about to become outside thoughts. I think about you almost constantly.”
“I think you think a lot of things that I probably need to hear.”
“I know that I do, but I couldn’t spin them all platonically. Let’s go get Chris.”
Buck ducked down in the passenger seat as they came up to the car so he was hidden from view. Sure enough, the curtains moved as Eddie parked in front, but the door didn’t open.
“Okay, I’m going to walk behind you and then hide in front of this bush so I can’t be seen from the window.”
“Thank you, for coming with me.”
“You never have to do anything alone again,” Buck promised, pressing a kiss to Eddie’s hand.
Eddie walked down the sidewalk of his childhood home, head held high. If he swayed his hips a little extra knowing that Buck was directly behind him, watching, that was between him and… well Buck he guessed based off of the low whistle he heard before getting to the door and knocking.
“Hello Edmundo,” his mother greeted curtly.
“Hi mom. Where’s Christopher?”
“Where are your bags?”
“They’re in the car. Christopher!,” he called.
“Hi dad,” he greeted quietly, coming down the hallway.
“Can I hug you? Is that okay?”
Christopher thought about it for a moment, taking his dad in for the first time in months. He seemed to have found whatever he was looking for, because he smiled a small smile and nodded. Eddie scooped him up, holding his son in his arms, burying his face in his neck.
“I missed you so much mijo.”
“You too,” he replied quietly.
“Do you need help with your bags?,” Helena asked, arms crossed in front of her chest.
“No, but Christopher will.”
“Huh?,” he asked in confusion.
“I came to bring you back home, where you belong. To LA, to me, and to Buck.”
“Christopher needs stability,” his mother interrupted.
“And he has that with me and Buck.”
“Really? Is that why you’re here alone?”
“He’s not alone though,” Buck replied, a strong hand squeezing Eddie’s shoulder.
“Oh my God, Buck!”
Christopher threw himself at Buck, who caught him easily.
“Hey there Superman! I’ve missed you so much.”
“I didn’t know you were coming too!”
“When your dad said he was bringing you home I said there was no way he was going without me.”
“I can go home, really?,” Christopher asked, looking between his dad and Buck.
“You didn’t want me moving here to be with you, so the only other option is coming home mijo.”
“I’ve been waiting for you to come and get me.”
“Now Christopher, I don’t think this is wise. You left for a reason, and you have a new life here-”
Christopher scoffed and interrupted his grandmother.
“I left because I needed space, and dad needed to work his shit out. He’s with Buck now so I know that he’s finally stopped punishing himself and he’s who you prevented him from being all along.”
“Are you implying that what happened was our fault?,” Helena asked with a gasp.
“You treated me like a baby while I was here, but at my age dad had already been running this house for years! You’re the reason why he’s so repressed and can’t talk about his feelings or emotions. You trained him to be that way! He was in the wrong but he didn’t know any better because you and grandpa raised him to be angry and bottle everything up instead of crying and talking about it. Dad isn’t like that with me. He lets me cry and he talks to me when I want to talk and he holds me when I don’t because no matter what, he loves me.
I don’t know why he did what he did and we will be talking about it, but after living here I can understand why he is the way he is. Why he kept pulling Buck close and then pushing him away so many times when Buck was who he needed. He’s been trying so hard, and I didn’t understand that because he lets me be a kid and he doesn’t make me deal with half of the things he had to deal with.”
“Christopher, I can’t believe you would speak to me like this after all we’ve done for you.”
“I can’t believe dad turned out as well as he did living here,” Christopher retorted, full of sass. “I’m thankful that you took me in and let me live here, but you didn’t treat me the best either. You wouldn’t let me do half of the things that I wanted to, only what you insisted was ‘best’ for me. You didn’t ask what I actually wanted, grandma.”
“Fine. Be that way then. You can help Christopher pack his things while I call your father.”
They didn’t speak again until they were in Chris’s room with the door closed.
“So. When did this happen?”
“When I started driving away and had a panic attack because I was leaving Buck behind, even though I promised I would never do that.”
“This only happened today?,” Chris asked, hands on his hips in such a great imitation of his dad that it made Buck laugh.
“Sorry Chris, you look just like your dad when you do that. Obviously you’ve been picking up on these things for a long time.”
“Well duh, I have eyes. And ears. Most of what you’ve been doing is not platonic.”
“Everything that you’ve said was correct. I’d prefer to get you packed and have this conversation in the car, but I promise you we will be having this conversation, and I will answer every question that you have. You’ve carried yourself well, and you deserve the truth Christopher. I’m sorry, for whatever I went through that you also had to go through.”
“Honestly dad, I think I needed it to understand you better. You’re… you’re happy?,” Chris asked carefully.
“I’m getting there. I won’t be happy until you’re home back where you belong.”
“Thank you, for coming for me. I didn’t think you would. I’ve missed you a lot Buck, I’m sorry I didn’t text you more.”
“Hey, we still had our iPhone games! It’s okay though Chris, you did what you needed to do. It would be pretty hypocritical of me when I also ran away from home.”
“Did someone come looking for you?,” Chris asked curiously.
“No,” Buck said softly, ruffling his hair. “I haven’t stepped foot back in Hershey, Pennsylvania since. No one came looking for me. Nowhere has ever felt like home to me, and I’ve been to a hell of a lot of places, until I met you and your dad.”
“You almost lost us both.”
“Yeah, I did. But if you love something, you have to set it free. If it comes back…,” Buck trailed off, looking at Eddie so softly.
“It’s yours,” he replied, just as tenderly.
“I’m sorry that I was one of the people who left you Buck,” Chris said with a frown. “The first time, when I needed someone, I was able to run to you. We weren’t as close then, and it felt okay because you were my best friend. You don’t always feel like my best friend anymore, you feel like my dad, so I couldn’t go to you this time.”
“Christopher, I’m whoever you need me to be. I can be your best friend and I can be your other dad. I love you so much kid, and I’ve treated you as my own for years. I’m honored that you even think about me that way,” Buck confessed.
“When everyone else left, you stayed. Dad said that you gave up your loft so that we wouldn’t lose the house. Are you staying with us?”
“I will be, if that’s okay.”
“Only if you stay forever,” Chris decided, holding out a pinky for Buck to swear.
“I pinky swear. I’m not going anywhere, not by choice. You're my boys, and I love you both so much.”
Eddie kissed Buck’s cheek before getting up to help Christopher pack.
“That’s going to take some getting used to.”
“We’ll be mindful in front of you,” Buck promised.
“That’s all I ask. Where are we going now?”
“A hotel, at least for tonight, and then we figure everything out as it comes up. You go on break in a few days anyway, and I made some calls already to start the process of having you transfer back. I think we can get away with you missing a couple of extra days of school. If you want to that is,” Eddie offered with a shrug.
“Buck, will you take us to the zoo when we get back home?”
“I have a whole list on my phone of places that we can go and things that we can do! I’ll move the zoo to the top of the list.”
While they finished packing, Chris asked Buck questions about the places and activities on his list. He was interested of course, but really, he just missed listening to Buck talk. It made the packing go quicker too.
Terse goodbyes were shared, and soon enough, Eddie was driving them to the hotel.
“For tonight, I got one room with a double bed. If you want, I can look into two rooms with an adjoining door if you need your space still?,” Eddie offered.
“The one room is fine. Thank you for giving me the option.”
“You’ve grown up a lot out here it seems.”
“With none of Buck’s pancakes in sight.”
Buck laughed and grinned at Chris in the backseat.
“I’ll make you as many pancakes as you want when you’re home. I’ve been trying new recipes too, courtesy of Bobby.”
“Can we see everyone when we get back?”
“Of course we can,” Eddie promised. “I know for a fact Denny is going to want a sleepover. So is Abuela.”
“Maybe the day we get back? I feel like you two probably need to talk some more and keep figuring out… all of that.”
“Your dad’s been doing a lot better at taking what he wants. We talked, really talked before we hit the road. Nothing like confessing your love for each other and then road tripping across half the country together to rescue your kid. That would be an interesting movie. Or like, reality tv because it actually happened.”
“Our lives would make for very unbelievable reality tv. So many insane things happen to us I’m not fully convinced some people on our calls aren’t paid actors.”
“You’d be the most shipped characters on the show I’m sure. Talk about a slow burn.”
“I have no idea what any of those words mean,” Eddie replied as he pulled into the hotel.
As soon as they got to their room, Chris flopped onto a bed and claimed it. Buck and Eddie put the luggage down before doing the same, Buck pulling Eddie into his chest.
“I’m so proud of you Eddie,” he whispered into his ear before pecking his lips.
He held him close, rubbing his back until Eddie relaxed against him. After a few minutes, the bed dipped, and Christopher was quickly pulled into Buck’s embrace. Tentatively, he wrapped an arm around Eddie, who returned the embrace.
“This is the best day of my life,” Buck said quietly, eyes closed, a grin lighting up his face.
“I think mine is still when you taught me how to skateboard. This comes close though.”
“I think mine will be when we’re finally home together,” Eddie admitted.
“When are we going home?”
“When we take you to school on Monday I’m going to stop into the office to check in on transferring your paperwork. I figured we could leave after school on Wednesday, so you’d only be missing Thursday and Friday, and then you have break to get settled back in.”
“Can we show Buck some Texas things before we go, dad?”
“I’m sure we can.”
“We have to take him to Buc-ee’s before we leave.”
“Oh my God can I get one of the beaver tail hats?,” Buck asked in delight.
“I unfortunately think it would look good on you,” Eddie replied with a sigh.
“Gross,” Chris retorted, no heat in his voice.
“I’m grossly in love with your dad and I will never apologize for that.”
Buck proved his point by kissing Eddie on the cheek with a loud “mwah” sound before doing the same to Christopher, who screeched in protest.
“You’re a menace Buckley.”
“You love it, Diaz.”
“I love you,” Eddie said pointedly.
“I love you too. I love you three Superman.”
“Yeah, yeah I love my dads. Have you told anyone yet?”
“Bobby figured it out like immediately when I called to figure out my time off while we were driving. We felt you should be the first to know though. I’m sure Maddie- oh shit! I need to call her and tell her I’m missing family dinner tomorrow.”
“You should FaceTime her so I can see her face,” Chris said gleefully.
“Let me make sure Chim is nowhere to be seen first or else the whole state of California will know in minutes.”
Buck: hey Maddie, are you alone? I wanted to give you a call sans brother-in-law
Maddie: I was just debating driving over to see you with Jee and the baby. Howie is on shift. Let me get them settled and I’ll FaceTime you then
“Should we hide and pop out like it’s a surprise party?,” Chris suggested.
“I guarantee you Maddie is going to embarrass me in the first two minutes of the call.”
“How so?”
“It’s probably going to be like oh, are you doing okay? And I’ll be like yeah because obviously I’m fantastic right now but she doesn’t know that. Then she’ll be suspicious and start talking about Eddie.”
“Talk about me often do you?,” Eddie teased.
Chris leveled his dad with an unimpressed look.
“Eddie, I think everyone I have ever met knows more about you than me because I never shut up about you. I wasn’t exactly subtle. Poor Ravi, I need to bake him something as an apology.”
“After my brownies though, right?”
“Christopher-”
“Anything you want bud. At least for the first couple of days.”
“I’ve missed your Mac and cheese so much.”
Eddie snorted, knowing exactly what Chris was talking about. When Maddie called him, Eddie and Chris ducked out of view, nestled together on Buck’s chest.
“How are you doing? Really?,” Maddie pressed, as soon as he picked up.
“I’m okay.”
“You look suspiciously fine. What happened?,” she asked, eyes flitting over his face.
“I got myself a boyfriend,” Buck said proudly.
“Evan what the fuck?! Eddie hasn’t even been gone for 24 hours. Where are you? Are you in a hotel?”
“I am.”
“Is he there with you?,” she whispered.
“He is.”
“Evan if you don’t somehow pull out Eddie Diaz I swear to God. We’ve talked about this! You can’t keep pushing your feelings down like this. What are you going to do when Eddie and Chris inevitably come back? It’s going to be like Tommy all over again-”
“Okay ew, let’s never talk about him ever again. That was a severe lapse in judgment and I’m still mad none of you told me how much of an asshole he was.”
“Can we go back to talking about your favorite subject again?,” Maddie asked in exasperation.
“The gay penguins at the zoo?,” Buck asked innocently.
“That should have been named Buck and Eddie, yes.”
Christopher couldn’t help but snort at that. Aunt Maddie was extremely funny when she was exasperated with Buck, which was often.
“What was that?”
“My kid.”
“Your… kid…”
“Hi Aunt Maddie,” Chris said with a grin, popping up into frame.
“Evan Buckley-”
“Please don’t admonish my boyfriend, he’s been practicing having this conversation in his head.”
“Oh my God, you’re in Texas,” she gasped.
“Yeehaw,” Buck said proudly.
“Don’t worry, I’m not letting him come home with a cowboy hat.”
“You need a cowboy hat and I’ll just steal that one.”
Eddie sputtered, his face turning pink. Christopher looked between them before gagging.
“Okay, ew. I’m going to go downstairs and be not here. Bye Aunt Maddie, I’ll see you soon.”
“Here, take the keycard.”
“I will be knocking very loudly before I enter the room.”
Chris thought maybe he was still cute enough to get some free snacks from the front desk, so that’s where he went.
“He’s coming home then?,” Maddie asked softly, watching with tears in her eyes as Eddie settled against Buck’s chest comfortably, Buck kissing his forehead before smiling back at his sister.
“He is. We all are. Bobby is our next call, but we should be home in the early hours of Thursday morning. We’re leaving after Chris finishes school on Wednesday,” Eddie explained.
“I’m so happy for the two of you. You both deserve this.”
“You always told me growing up that I deserved the best Mads, and I finally got it.”
Eddie pulled Buck down for a sweet kiss, and Maddie “awwed”.
“I’m going to go, enjoy your time together but please don’t scar my nephew.”
“I love you Maddie.”
“I love you too Buck.”
They exchanged lazy kisses, Eddie content to lie on top of Buck forever.
“How about you call Bobby and I go find Chris so we can figure out dinner?”
“Sounds good cariño. One more kiss before you go?”
“As if I’d ever leave my sexy boyfriend without kissing him goodbye,” Buck scoffed. “What kind of lover do you think I am?”
“A very passionate one. Probably really vocal and generous too.”
“Eds,” Buck warned.
“What’s wrong firehose?,” Eddie asked innocently, fluttering his eyelashes.
Buck smacked Eddie’s ass before he rolled him off of him.
“You’re such a brat, but I can fix that.”
“I look forward to you trying.”
Buck pulled Eddie in for a nasty kiss that was more tongue than anything, and left Eddie a blushing, panting mess. With a smirk, Buck adjusted himself in his pants before kissing Eddie’s forehead and going to find Chris.
“Holy shit,” Eddie said to himself quietly, touching his lips.
He didn’t know that it could feel like that. Pressing his face into the pillow Buck had been laying on, he inhaled before he started laughing. The love of his life, right in front of his face, for almost a decade.
Buck found Chris in the hotel lobby, laughing with the woman at the check-in counter, snacks in his hands.
“Hey Chris, we were going to figure out what we wanted for dinner.”
“Doritos?,” he offered, handing Buck a bag. “I know this kind is your favorite.”
“Thank you, uh, Charlotte,” Buck replied politely, reading her name tag.
“Can I get you anything else?,” she asked, looking Buck up and down with interest.
“He’s okay. We have to go back to my other dad upstairs. Thank you again,” Chris said, nudging Buck forward with one of his crutches.
“Oh. You have a lovely son.”
“Yeah, he’s the absolute best,” Buck agreed.
“This is what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life,” Chris grumbled. “It’s a good thing dad wasn’t there or he would’ve kissed you right in front of her.”
“Is this okay for you?,” Buck asked gently, placing a hand on Chris’s shoulder.
“Can we sit?,” Chris asked, nodding towards the breakfast area.
“I’m an open book Chris, you know you can come to me for anything.”
“I know that. You and dad… you’re okay, I guess I want to ask? I don’t really know how to put it into words.”
“We still have to talk some more and figure things out logistically. I- I don’t have to move in right away. Or at all, really. I’ll only do that if that’s what you want. No matter what Chris, you are what’s most important to the both of us. If anything were to ever happen, but I’m confident that it won’t, I swear to you that you will never lose me. I will still show up for you and be there no matter what it is or where you are. I love you so much, and I would do anything for you, you know that right?”
“I do. You were going to lose dad for me,” Chris said, head down as the guilt set in.
“Christopher,” Buck said firmly, making his head shoot up, “I was not going to lose him. I was not going to lose you. The distance would have really fucking sucked, don’t tell your dad I used that language with you, but we would have made it work. We created a FaceTime schedule and everything, and I was already looking into flights and hotels so that I could come and visit.”
“Really?”
“I think we’ve established that I’m very insanely in love with your dad.”
“What exactly happened?,” Chris asked curiously.
He would get his dad’s perspective of events later.
“We said goodbye, I watched him drive away and was stuck in that spot for probably five minutes, just staring down the road. I went inside, pulled on one of his hoodies, got into bed, and I was crying into his pillow when he scared the shit out of me by materializing at the end of the bed. I asked him if he forgot something and he just looked so broken, but I knew I didn’t look much better. He told me that I was what he forgot,” Buck said, ducking his head shyly.
“He just completely broke down in my arms, but he let me hold him and tell him that it was going to be okay. Eddie said he didn’t want to be another person who left me. I told him that this was different, that he was bringing, I started to say our kid and then changed it to your kid but he called me out immediately and said that you’re mine too. You’re the greatest gift that I’ve ever been given, Chris. He told me he could never fill the void with someone else because I already filled it years ago. Then he told me he was selfish and I was like seriously? That man does not even know how to be selfish!”
Chris snorted in agreement, wiping tears from his eyes.
“Anyway, then he told me I was his better half and I told him that he needed to be explicitly clear about what he was saying. I have been in love with Eddie and denying it for years so that I didn’t ruin this, so I wasn’t going to say anything unless he brought it up. He told me he was in love with me and that it wasn’t as scary as he thought it would be. That he would stop punishing himself and keep working to be better.”
“What did you say?”
“Obviously that I was in love with him too. I said, ‘Eddie, l've loved you at your best, l've loved you at worst, and I promise to keep loving you for all of the in betweens.’ A direct quote by the way, I typed it into my phone for our wedding vows. Then he asked if I would come with him to get you and I was like obviously let’s go get our kid, and 10 hours later, here we are.”
“Wow.”
“It’s been a crazy 24 hours, kid. I still feel like I’m dreaming.”
“I do want you to move in with us, permanently. The days and nights have always been better with you there. Pancakes, reading me stories, playing video games, watching movies. When I was younger I didn’t understand why you had to leave in the first place. I tell everyone else who asks that you’re my dad, it made the most sense and was the most simple explanation. I’m glad that it’s going to be officially true at some point. You never tried to replace mom either, you’re just… my Buck.”
“Always. I think the worst part is you’re going to be Eddie’s best man and not mine,” Buck teased.
“Maybe I can just stand in the middle. I’m happy that he’s finally accepted this part of himself. My tias told me a lot about how grandma and grandpa treated dad. It made a lot of things about him make sense. I’m going to apologize, after we talk it out. I just figured I could talk to you first now.”
“I hope it made you feel better.”
“You always do Buck.”
Buck stood up and hugged Chris as tightly as he dared.
“I’m so happy to have you back, you have no idea.”
“I think I have some idea. Let’s go before dad thinks we both ran away.”
“That’ll be the day,” Buck replied with a snort.
“If you ever ran away again, I would go looking for you,” Christopher promised.
“Thanks Chris.”
Eddie met them at the door, ruffling Chris’s hair and kissing Buck sweetly once Chris’s back was to them.
“What was that for?”
“I missed you,” Eddie said simply. “Everything okay?,” he asked quietly.
“We talked, everything is fine. Since I’m officially moving in, we are taking my mattress. I got a new one after Tommy and I broke up. Fresh start across the board.”
“I’ll give it a trial run and see how I sleep.”
“On top of Buck probably,” Chris said with a snort.
“As if you haven’t spent years falling asleep on Buck. It’s my turn now,” Eddie teased, sticking his tongue out at Chris, who stuck his back out at his dad.
“Okay boys, what shall we eat?”
Later that night, with Chris asleep in his bed and Eddie and Buck on their way to sleeping in the other, Eddie let out a deep breath.
“I finally feel like I can breathe again.”
“Good, because this is the start of the rest of our lives, Diaz.”
“I think Buckley-Diaz has a nice ring to it,” Eddie remarked, and he gasped when he felt Buck twitch against his leg.
“Was that-”
“Shut up,” Buck hissed. “I wasn’t expecting you to say that, normally I can control myself.”
“So I shouldn’t keep telling you about how I can’t wait to keep raising Christopher with you? How I’d love to raise another kid-”
Before Eddie could blink, Buck’s tongue was down his throat, silencing all thoughts in his head. The one up top anyway. When Buck pulled away, breathing heavily, Eddie surged forward again, pulling Buck back down.
“Is it too late to book another room?,” Eddie mumbled, pressing himself against Buck, who grabbed Eddie by the waist to stop him.
“You and your slutty little waist need to stop before we scar our kid.”
“Can your hands fit around my waist?,” Eddie asked, looking down in awe.
“We will test that at home. I am going to go to the bathroom, and you are going to stay here and be a good boy.”
Eddie gave it a minute before he followed Buck into the bathroom with a grin, turning the shower on. He waited long enough to be happy, and wouldn’t deprive himself any longer.